Author's Notes: So, this chapter is just a fun little thing. Not filler really, since it will be pushing the plot, but a bit more amusing than some of the others. That being said, this fic is still rated M and Naruto and characters are still owned by Masashi.
Genma wasn't known as the village playboy for nothing. By the time he and Iruka had become a couple, the twenty four year old had slept with most of the people in his group of friends, most of the people who worked in the mission room, most of his mission partners, and most of the leaf nin above the age of sixteen. In short, Genma had, at one point or another, bedded almost every single shinobi in Konoha. He'd been a good boy since he'd started dating Iruka though, and had taken to monogamy surprisingly easily and quite willingly. The experience he'd gained from his sexual adventures, though, had been put to good use.
By February, the young couple had done everything except penetration (which was the only area of their sex lives that Iruka seemed even remotely hesitant), and Iruka had proven to be a quick learner. He gave a masterful handjob, was the owner of the most skillful tongue Genma had ever encountered, had eager lips and nimble hands, and, by the gods, did the boy know how to drive a man crazy. After their first evening of experimentation back in October, Iruka had mapped out and explored Genma's whole body. He had found sensitive spots Genma didn't even know he had, and he had taken the time to learn how to manipulate Genma's body in a way that made him a needy, writhing puddle of bonelessness every time they turned the lights out.
As their relationship progressed though, and feelings of heavy infatuation and awe were replaced by something bigger, something more serious, Iruka began to stress. Iruka wasn't a prude, these past few months had proved that, but he was very attached to the social construct of the importance of his virginity. He knew that in a world where one of them could die literally any day it was silly to hold onto the idea of virginity being sacred; that was something only civilians had the time for, really, but he'd saved his first kiss for the one person whom he'd liked so much he felt that butterflies would explode from his gut, so it only felt natural that he'd save his first time for someone that he loved.
And there was where the hesitation laid.
Iruka was pretty sure that he loved Genma. Like, ninety five percent sure. Iruka was less sure about whether or not Genma loved him, and he had no idea how to go about finding out. He didn't want to be the first one to say it out loud, and he didn't want to just ask his boyfriend, "Hey, do you love me?" Iruka wasn't that brave. In fact, he was completely terrified that what Genma felt for him wasn't love at all, but just a lust filled affection that had been borne from the closeness of their initial friendship. Which would have been fine, except for the fact that that would mean they weren't on the same page. And that wasn't fine with Iruka, not one bit.
Genma was starting to worry. Iruka had been preoccupied and distant for coming up on two weeks now. Genma was used to Iruka withdrawing from him for a day or two, used to seeing a glazed look in the younger man's eyes and having to coax him back into the real world, but for Iruka to be in a constant state of distraction was very unordinary. And while Genma was usually able to make his lover feel better, it was starting to seem like Iruka was avoiding him. He was perplexed, and the longer his young boyfriend's unusual state lasted, the more hurt and insecure Genma began to feel. Had he done something wrong?
Whenever Genma had a problem, he did three things. He hunted down his closest friend, he hunted down the closest genius, and he hunted down the closest bar. The blond tokujo zipped up his flak vest and headed into the center of the village. It was time to start hunting. Genma had found Raido in the hospital, chatting up a cute little medic-nin with red hair and small hands. He then found Kakashi in a tree by the memorial, his nose buried in a well worn copy of Icha Icha. Lastly, he found a small, empty bar he'd never been to in a rundown section of the civilian quarter. He ordered a drink and waited.
Rai walked in a few minutes later and seated himself beside his friend. Kakashi showed up about an hour after that. "What've you done this time?" the scarecrow asked as he sat down on Genma's other side and placed his book in his vest pocket.
"Yeah, I was totally hitting it off with that girl," Raido mourned, taking a swig from Genma's drink. "You always have the worst timing."
"Something's up with Iruka."
That statement, paired with Genma's sour mood, sobered Raido right up. "What do you mean?"
Genma shrugged. "I donno. He's always staring off into space. He doesn't listen when I talk to him. He looks me in the eyes too long, and then won't look at me at all for hours. He gets jittery if I try to touch him at all. I don't know what I did, but he's freaking me out."
Kakashi studied his blond friend with a critical gray eye, his fingers tracing circles in the wood of the countertop. "How long has it been like this?"
"A couple weeks now, I guess," Genma murmured.
"Did you guys get into a fight?" Raido asked.
"No, we haven't even disagreed about anything, really, since we started going out. Like, we don't even get into little spats or anything. I'm at a complete loss here. One day he was fine, and then the next day he was like this, and he won't talk to me about it. I haven't a clue, man."
Kakashi's single visible gray eye gleamed with amusement and he chortled softly behind his mask. "The fuck, Hatake? I'm having a crisis and you're laughing like an idiot. What?" Genma muttered, swatting the younger shinobi on the back of the head.
"No, no, sorry," Kakashi said, trying to regain his calm demeanor. "I don't have any idea about what's going on with your little "Ru-kun". I just had a thought, you know. In Icha Icha, when the heroine of the story can't figure out if the hero loves her or not, she usually gets all moody and shit until the hero gets so worried that he tells her he loves her by accident, out of desperation. I'd just pictured Umino in a slutty Icha Icha dress being all pouty, and you in some Knight's costume...," Kakashi broke down laughing at this point, trying desperately to ignore the holes Genma was burning into the side of his face with an angry glare.
Raido laughed and shook his head. "If this were Icha Icha, that might just be the solution, but Gen's already dropped the big L word on Ru, right man?" The large tokujo patted Genma on the back in a rough show of enthusiasm, but Genma's whole body had stiffened up. Both of his friends watched as his jaw clamped around his senbon and his fingers twitched. "You have told him," Raido persisted hesitantly, "right?"
Genma's voice was small as he murmured, "He never said it to me, and I didn't want to scare him off, so... Was I supposed to?"
Raido's eyes widened and Kakashi paused for only a moment before whipping out his orange book and slamming it down on the table in front of his blond friend. "There is a formula for love, my friend, and you haven't followed it, and that must be why Umino's all weird."
"A formula?" Raido asked.
Kakashi jabbed a gloved finger at Icha Icha, then shoved it closer to the blond tokujo. "Yeah. Icha Icha follows the formula to a T, and that's why there's always a happy ending. You obviously haven't been following the formula, and that's why you're in this mess."
Genma stared long and hard at the orange book, his eyebrows furrowed. His hands reached for it, and he was flipping through the pages with hesitant eyes, searching for signs of this 'formula' before his brain even caught up with him. "You think, with that genius brain of yours, that this," Genma waved the book in front of Kakashi's face, "will help me?"
Kakashi gave a curt nod, watching Genma's handling of his book with a critical eye.
"So... By your genius logic, if I read this, and fix my actions according to what it says in here, Iruka will go back to normal."
The silver head bowed in another nod, the gray eye never leaving the orange cover.
"And you can guarantee that you are, in all seriousness, a genius?"
"Yes." The scarecrow wasn't even paying attention to what Genma was saying, just watching his book with a growing anxiety in his chest.
Genma wasn't even paying attention to the fact that Kakashi wasn't paying attention, instead just leafing through the worn Icha Icha with an air of suspicion. "So... You'll let me borrow it, then?"
Kakashi moved faster than anyone's eyes could keep up with and snatched his book back from Genma, depositing it in the breast pouch of his vest and patting it, as if to make sure he'd really gotten it back. "Not this copy. This is my travel copy and I keep it with me at all times. But I'll lend you my home copy if you promise to take good care of it."
"Deal," Genma agreed.
"I'll drop it off at your place tonight. As of right now, I'm officially late to my challenge with Gai."
"Officially?" Raido asked, amusement in his eyes.
"He asked me to meet him on top of Yondaime's head at sunrise. It's approaching on dinnertime now, so I think I'm late enough." And with that, Kakashi was gone in a swirl of leaves and smoke.
Raido laughed and shook his head. "I can't believe you're actually going to listen to him. I can't believe you're going to actually read that... book."
Genma sighed and downed the rest of his drink before getting up with a shrug. "He's a genius. And you didn't offer me any help." And then Genma was gone too.