Let the chaos begin.
The wedding is less than twenty four hours away, and the rehearsal dinner is already falling apart. Dick and Harley are caught up in each other, Jason and Ivy are at each other's throats, and here is the last place that Damian wants to be.
This family fighting is no surprise, but the tension goes as far up as Bruce and Selina tonight, and the pressure is mounting. The bridesmaids and the groomsmen aren't making anything worse, but they're not exactly helping; the wedding could be off before it even begins.
"Jason, stand behind Clark," Selina warned. Jason groaned from where he was sitting in one of the white chairs. Some of the rows had been set up, but most of the chairs were still on racks.
"We already ran through this," he whined.
"And you've ruined every run through," Barbara snapped, pulling her beanie down over her ears. The big white ceremony tent was only half erected despite Selina and Damian's threats. The men from the company hurried around in the work lights to finish while the heaters were set to the side to be set up later.
"It's just practice Barb, take it easy." Jason reluctantly got up.
"Hurry up, it's cold," Steph complained as Jason obediently walked to his place beside Ivy. Harley stuck her hands in Dick's coat pocket, leaning her head on his shoulder as Selina went over for the third time when they would walk forward. Bruce stood stiffly at the other end of the tent with the priest.
"Okay," Selina walked to the back of the group and stood beside Alfred. "Jason, don't trip anyone this time."
"No promises," he called back. The musicians hadn't shown up to practice because of the cold, but Steph happily yelled out the wedding march as Clark and Barbara started toward Bruce.
Selina watched them all hopefully, her hands clasped nervously. Dick glanced at her and smirked at Harley. "Bet you ten that Jason ruins this one because he won't let Ivy hold his arm," he whispered.
"Selina yelled at them after the second run through for that," Harley whispered back, "but I still bet it's ruined." Ivy and Jason moved forward next, as far apart as they could manage with their arms barely touching. "What were we supposed to count to before following? I forgot already." She giggled, taking her hands out of his pocket to loop her arm through his.
"I don't know, I've been asleep for the past hour," Dick snorted. "God look at Bruce up there like a deer in headlights- he's so out of his comfort zone-" Harley elbowed him, snickering.
"I think we're supposed to go. Let's just walk at 'Selina's approved pace', and hope we're right." She started forward, turning to glare over her shoulder when Steph tried to step on her shoe. Dick bit his lip, fighting the urge to smile.
"This is so regulated. I didn't know I'd signed up for the army," he muttered. Harley rolled her eyes at the sound of Selina scolding Steph and Tim for improper arm placement.
"I say we make a break for it. Alfred can't have hidden all that food."
A grin broke across Dick's face. "I know, right! Did you smell that stuff?! It smells amazing," he whispered, and then let go of her as they crossed to their appropriate sides. Ivy leaned toward Harley as she took her place.
"Can I just-"
"-No manslaughter at a wedding," Harley warned. Ivy frowned and straightened back up. Steph giggled as she stood beside Harley.
"What mutiny do we have planned this time?" she asked.
"I'm leaving that all to Jason." They all glanced over at Jason who waved back. Clark smacked him on the back of the head for Bruce. Dick beamed over Jason's shoulder, mouthing an 'I love you' before winking at Harley. Harley rolled her eyes as Damian and Cass took their places, but quickly schooled her features as Selina glared at them. Alfred handed her off to Bruce, and they faced the priest.
"To start," he looked at his notes, "I'll be doing-"
"-Jason," Selina snapped. "Do not even think of trying to leave. Don't think I've forgotten you disappearing to go get beer." Jason shuffled back in line.
"I offered to bring everyone some," he whined. "Why do I need to stand here for this?"
"Because you'll have to stand there for the ceremony. Now stay put," she warned. Steph glanced at Harley, putting her mittens over her mouth. The priest glanced around at all of them.
"After I do the opening remarks, and say everything," he skimmed quickly through his notes, "I'll remind you of your duties, and then we'll-"
"-Is that where objections come in," Jason interrupted, "because I object." He pointed at Selina. "This lady is very bossy."
"Jason! That is not funny," Dick glared at him.
"This isn't even real," Jason cried dramatically. "This ceremony isn't real, that man is not really her father," he pointed at Alfred, "that woman is not real," he pointed at Ivy who glared at him, "and that is probably not a real priest."
"Shut up Jason. I want to sit down somewhere where it's warm," Harley told him. The priest used the momentary silence to rush on.
"Then we'll do the vows and the ring exchange. Finally I can pronounce-"
"-I also see no ring bearer," Jason added. "How can this be a real wedding with no ring bear? I expect a grizzly here by tomorrow." Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Jason, shut up," Dick said angrily, his tone harsh.
"Fine," he muttered. "I'm just saying bears could go a long way in livening this up."
"Finally, I can pronounce you man and wife," the priest continued, "and we can be done."
"Hallelujah," Steph cried. "I'm going inside."
"We still didn't get a smooth run through," Selina complained.
"Selina, please," Bruce said quietly. "It will be fine. Everyone is cold, and this is getting tiresome." Harley hurried around them and grabbed Dick's hand, pulling him along.
"Come on," she whispered.
"You're tired of this?" Selina asked. Harley cringed at Dick as Steph and Tim caught up behind them in their attempt to flee.
"Screw that, I'm getting food," Steph muttered. Bruce rubbed his face.
"Yeah, Selina, we've been working on this all day. I was out all night last night, and I'm tired. I need to breathe a bit," he snapped a little. Dick glanced over his shoulder.
"Shit, move move move-" he pulled Harley faster and scooped her up into his arms, running out of the tent as Selina exploded.
"We left Alfred behind!" Harley cried dramatically, reaching back over Dick's shoulder as she watched everyone scatter toward the house. Dick laughed as Tim ran beside him.
"Every man for himself!" he shouted, and then slipped and fell face first in the snow. Dick glanced over his shoulder and burst into laughter before losing his footing and falling backwards. The snow poofed out around him as he hit the ground, still holding Harley safely in his arms. Tim cackled behind him. "Ha! That's what you get, asshole!" Harley brushed snow off of him.
"Are you okay?" she laughed. Dick groaned in pain, rubbing his head.
"Holy karma, Batman…" he winced as he straightened up, laughing a little.
"I'm sorry." Harley giggled and kissed his forehead. "All better?"
"Better," he agreed, taking her hand and walking towards the back patio. Tim pranced up beside him.
"Ha ha," he grinned. Dick shoved him backwards into the snow again, laughing. He kept walking and reached the door, stamping the snow off as best he could before walking in.
"I hope we didn't lose anyone," Harley glanced back out the door, holding her coat tighter around herself. "But I'm not going back for anyone."
"Neither am I. Let's see if we can find that food," he grinned, taking his coat off and dropping it on the floor with his hat. His khakis were completely ruined. Harley glared at him.
"There is a hook for that less than two feet away." She unzipped her coat and hung it up. Dick pulled her along.
"Come on. It's gotta be in the kitchen somewhere right?"
"Try the dining room. Selina probably made Alfred go all fancy."
"Good idea," Dick smiled, turning towards the dining room and starting down the hall.
"Do you need to beat everyone there? What's the hurry?" Harley rolled her eyes, letting him pull her along.
"The hurry is I'm starving." he smiled at her over his shoulder. "Do you think we'll get to eat right away? No. Selina or someone will make a toast, and then we'll start talking and no one will serve the food…"
"Depending if you get there before Selina," Harley reminded him. "You could get a whole helping in before she's done yelling at Bruce."
"Exactly!" Dick laughed, opening the doors to the dining room wide and strolling in. "Let's eat a ton of desserts first," he elbowed her, grinning. Jason elbowed him aside.
"Move. There has got to be potato salad in here somewhere."
"Don't eat it all!" Dick whined.
"Cake!" Steph cried as she burst into the room at the same time as Tim.
"Potato salad!" he cried.
"Who the hell makes potato salad in winter for a wedding rehearsal dinner?" Dick laughed.
"Look who I found in the hall," Barbara said as she walked into the room. Sam and Gordon were with her while the Collins family followed behind.
"Hey guys." Harley smiled as Lilly ran over to Dick. Jason and Tim were running around the table trying to find the bowl of salad. Dick scooped Lilly up, twirling her around.
"How's my little ice queen!? Did you do all of this outside! It's pretty cold," he laughed. She wiggled her fingers in front of Dick's face.
"Magic!" she cried. Molly watched her with a smile.
"It was, however, too cold for her to be at the rehearsal that long. How did it go?"
"We don't talk about it," Harley said with a serious face.
"Bruce and Selina are still yelling at each other," Cass chimed in, sitting down. Dick kissed Lilly's cheek, laughing.
"Can you make it snow in here? If you get to be Elsa, who am I?" he asked, smiling. "Am I Hans?"
"No you're Anna," Harley told him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm Kristoff because blondes have to stick together and Jason is Sven."
Dick grinned at her, and then looked at Lilly. "Are you ready to go tomorrow? You're a pretty important part of the wedding," he smiled, holding her tight.
"Have you seen my dress?" she squealed, pulling on his sweater.
"I'm not supposed to see that until the wedding!" he gasped.
"We had to put it away when she insisted on wearing it and almost spilled grape juice," Molly said. Lilly pouted.
"Bruce and Selina alert," Steph warned, peeking out the door. Jason groaned, standing up and grabbing his coat.
"Alright, I'm out of here," he yawned, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and sticking it behind his ear. Dick put Lilly on her feet.
"Jay, sit down," he sighed.
"You gonna stop me, big bro?" Jason raised his eyebrows. Dick's jaw tightened a bit.
"Yeah, I am. You have been a complete-" he glanced at Lilly- "jerk all evening, Jason. Why can't you just be happy for Bruce and Selina? Or at least shut your trap and sit quietly and support Bruce. I hope you're not planning on acting like this tomorrow," he said, an edge to his voice. Jason rolled his eyes.
"Relax, Dick. I'll take my lumps and be a good little soldier," he scoffed, pulling his collar up around his neck. "Besides, Clark left." Dick shook his head. Bruce and Selina walked into the dining room, looking like they were still angry with each other. Damian looked at Bruce and shook his head ever so slightly. The room had gotten a bit tense.
"Why are you acting like this? You're never this rude, Jay, at least not around us. Who are you trying to impress?" he asked, before glancing at Ivy. Dick laughed wryly. "Seriously? What the hell happened between you two to make you like this? Both of you are acting like petty kids!"
"Don't act like you know what you're talking about," Jason warned, taking the cigarette out from behind his ear. Dick stared at him incredulously.
"Fine. I won't try to help you- but you have to behave yourself. I think you're just-"
"-like I care what you think, Dick," Jason snapped. Dick stared at him, before clamping his hands over Lilly's ears.
"I think you're acting like a baby, because everyone around you is in a happy relationship and you fucked yours up," he hissed. "Get over it. This is about Selina and Bruce, not you." Dick gave him one last glare before ruffling Lilly's hair. He scooped her up. "Come on, Sweetie. Let's get some food! Can I sit by you, Queen Elsa?" Lilly giggled as he walked away towards the table. Dick sat down and planted Lilly on his lap, kissing her cheek. "I bet we could go steal some ice cream from the kitchen," he whispered. She beamed as everyone sat down around them.
Everyone was crammed next to each other despite how big the table was. Bruce and Selina were both positioned on either side of the head of the table, still a little tense with each other. Gordon sat beside Bruce with Sam on his other side so Barbara could sit next to Dick. Harley sat down next to Dick, giving him a kiss on the cheek as Damian hid on the other side of her. He was mad at Bruce for not letting him visit Carrie earlier that day, and he knew he wouldn't have time to see her until after the wedding. Steph was beside him and directly opposite Bruce, leaning onto Tim in his chair. Cass was across from Damian looking bored with an annoyed Ivy beside her. Molly was beside her while Jason was stuck awkwardly between Will and Alfred. Alfred was at Selina's elbow and looked around at the incredible noise everyone was making.
Tim was throwing rolls at Jason who had hid the potato salad in his lap. Cass speared a piece of ham with her knife and nibbled on it.
"Barbara stop hogging the gravy," Steph whined.
"I don't even want it," Barbara laughed, passing it down the table. She went back to holding Sam's hand under the table. Lilly almost dumped it over the tablecloth when she insisted on helping Dick pass it.
"So, Molly, Will," Harley grinned, "welcome to the chaos."
"Is it always like this?" Will asked, laughing a little.
"Pretty much," Dick beamed. Lilly laughed.
"I like it!" she cried, throwing her dinner roll at Tim. He looked shocked when it hit him in the face, and then he laughed. Lilly burst into giggles.
"And does everyone here know that you're…" Molly paused and looked around the table, "Nightwing?" she whispered. The table grew quiet and tense, and Bruce glared at Dick.
"You're what?!" Jason cried dramatically, shoveling a heaping of corn on his plate.
"Shut up moron," Ivy snapped.
"No one asked you, Pussy Willow," Jason hissed, leaning around Will. Dick glanced guiltily at Bruce and bit his lip.
"Yes," he answered, blushing a little bit. "Jason is just kidding," Dick smiled at Molly, nodding. "They're, um… a hard lot to keep a secret from." He laughed wryly.
"We're sharp like that," Jason said. "I mean can you believe Harley? She was a psychologist. Crazy past right?" Alfred cleared his throat, glaring at Jason as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.
"So Selina," Harley said quickly. "Is everything set for tomorrow?"
"As set as it ever will be," she straightened her hair a bit, looking tired. "They have the tent set up, the heaters warming up, and they're setting up the chairs. It will be up to you tomorrow to make sure that everything is ready in the morning," Selina looked to Barbara.
"Of course." She smiled. "Everything will be fine. We have plenty of time to get ready."
"As long as the ceremony isn't a disaster," Selina added. Jason smiled through a mouthful of food.
"Stop being a tool Jay," Steph whined. "I'd threaten to sic Cass on you, but you might end up sleeping with her again." Ivy dropped her fork on her plate.
"That is…" Jason stuttered as Cass blushed. "Just sit there with your loser of a boyfriend and be quiet."
"At least he's not a stripper," Steph countered.
"So who wants dessert?" Harley asked loudly.
"Ice cream!" Lilly shouted, oblivious to the tension at the table. Dick jumped and then laughed.
"Is it in the kitchen, Al?" Dick asked as Alfred stood up. He waved a hand. "No, I'll get it," Dick smiled, standing up and tossing Lilly over his shoulder. She squealed in delight and laughed, kicking her legs. Dick chuckled. "Come on, ice cream monster, let's go get it…" their voices trailed off as he walked out of the room.
"So a stripper?" Ivy asked. "At least you found someone who suits you."
"She was an improvement," Jason agreed. Harley mouthed 'I'm sorry' to Will and Molly who were trapped between them. Will shook his head, smiling a bit. Selina looked down at her plate, her lips pursed.
"Jason," Bruce warned. "Please stop."
"Well, I'm going to be honest with you," Steph stood up, "this is a disaster." She grabbed Tim's hand. "We are leaving to actually do something worthwhile this evening." Tim smiled sheepishly as Steph pulled him out. Harley noticed that Damian had already slipped out.
"In that case," Jason stood up.
"Sit down," Bruce warned.
"That's so not fair," he muttered, sinking back into his chair.
"I should be heading out," Gordon told Bruce. "I'll see you all tomorrow, and congratulations again. And Officer Young," he glanced at Sam, "you are on duty tonight."
"Yes sir." Sam nodded. Gordon kissed Barbara on the cheek before leaving.
"I think I'll… go out tonight," Cass said quietly, looking out the dark windows.
"I'll come." Bruce stood up, but Selina grabbed his arm.
"Don't even think about it," she warned. Bruce's jaw tightened.
"I have to go on patrol," he said under his breath to her, glancing around the table.
"This is the night before your wedding," she reminded him.
"I can go," Jason offered, halfheartedly raising his hand.
"Are you sure Cass has nothing to do with it?" Ivy asked.
"We're not having this discussion here," Bruce said coldly, looking pointedly at Selina. Barbara glanced at them and touched Sam's shoulder.
"If you're on duty tonight- I'll show you to the door," she stood, blushing a bit as she led him out of the room, eager to get away from the argument sure to start. Will stood up when they left.
"I think we'll go help Dick and Lilly…" he said awkwardly, and then pulled Molly towards the door.
"And if you're on duty tonight," Selina told Bruce, "I'll show you to the door."
"Selina, we talked about this," he said shortly.
"No, you talked at me about this." She crossed her arms. "I feel like I've been pretty understanding, but I just can't understand how patrol is more important than your upcoming wedding." Harley glanced at the door, hoping Dick would come save her.
"You won't even let me sleep in the same room with you tonight!" he rubbed his face. "It's not like I'll be missing anything."
"Um, Jay, let's go get ready," Cass said quickly in the pause, pulling on his coat sleeve.
"Yup." He quickly got up. "See you later, Birch." He mock saluted Ivy on the way out.
"Master Wayne," Alfred sighed. "I thought I raised you to behave more gentlemanly than this." Bruce breathed in through his nose, and then out through his mouth.
"Fine. I'm going to bed," he said calmly, looking at Harley and Ivy. "I'm very sorry you had to witness this, ladies, I hope you have a good night, despite this." He bowed courteously and walked out of the room. Alfred looked down, before standing and removing his coat. He rolled up his sleeves and began clearing the table, stacking plates and piling the napkins together for the wash. Without looking up, he spoke quietly.
"I'm very sorry, Miss Selina."
She looked at him and smiled a bit. "Thank you, Alfred. I think I'll be turning in… don't want to look tired at my wedding…" Selina wandered off. Dick and Lilly came back into the room, laughing. He stopped, staring at the empty table.
"So… no ice cream?"