Thank you everyone who reviewed last chapter with their thoughts! I loved them and took them all to heart. You're all fabulous.

After I finished this chapter, I was thinking about that song SM had on the New Moon playlist, Luv by Travis. I love that song and it is so fitting for this story, especially this chapter.

I sobbed quietly as Alice led me upstairs. The house was dark; thankfully Carlisle and Esme had gone out to dinner themselves.

"Do you need help getting out of your clothes?" Alice asked me softly.

I shook my head and started undressing. I was absolutely soaking wet and shivering as I peeled the clothing off of me. Alice took the clothes into the bathroom to dry as I followed her inside to take a shower.

"Is there anything you need?"

I shook my head again and she hugged me. "I'm sorry, Bella."

I hugged her back but I couldn't find the ability to speak. She left me after a few moments and I thankfully stepped into the steaming shower. I stayed in there a long time, probably too long, enjoying the warmth and the escape. Finally the water turned cold and my skin wrinkled, letting me know it was time to get out.

Alice was sitting on her bed, waiting for me when I shuffled in.

"Are you okay?"

"Stop asking me that," I sighed. "I'll be fine."

"You stopped crying," she noted.

I shrugged. I couldn't cry anymore; I didn't have anything left.

"I guess this has been the Thanksgiving break from hell for you, huh?"

I shot her a look. "If Christmas is anything like this, I might as well give up."

Alice smiled sadly and stood. "I'm afraid you're never going to want to come over here anymore."

I didn't say anything in response. She understood and excused herself. "I think I'm going to sleep in Emmett's old room tonight and give you some privacy. Would you like that?"

Times like these reminded me why I loved Alice so much; she wasn't that friend in your face when you were in hysterics, offering empty-sounding consoling like "you're better off without him" and "he's not good enough to cry over" and "you'll find someone else". She stayed silent and kept her distance, just as I liked. She knew how I hated an audience.

"Very much," I whispered brokenly. I met her concerned eyes and managed a weak smile. "Thanks for everything, Alice. I mean it."

She smiled wider but her eyes were still sad. "See you tomorrow."

And then I was alone in her dark room, crying over what would never be.

I woke up to a soft thud in the room. Disoriented, I patted around me in the darkness for a few moments until the horrific thought that this could be a burglar entered my mind. Something about this was familiar, but in my panicked mind I couldn't figure out why.

Suddenly the lamp was switched on and Edward was standing there in its dim glow, dripping once again onto Alice's beautiful carpet.

A dozen fragmented thoughts went through my mind before settling on one, which was probably the least important: hadn't the kid ever heard of a towel?

I was speechless as I stared back at him, his expression a mixture of what could only be described as relief and agony.

Finally I cleared my throat. "Am I dreaming?"

Edward smiled faintly. "No. You're awake, though I get why you're thinking you are having a nightmare."

My head felt foggy. What was Edward doing here? Didn't something happen?

My mouth fell open as I remembered that yes, yes something did happen. Edward had basically broken what little remnants of heart I had left. Rage was the only emotion I could feel at that moment as confusion and elation over seeing Edward's presence quickly faded.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed.

Edward's smile that was making me sick faded and he had the grace to look embarrassed. He looked down at the puddles he had made and then back at me.

"I wanted to apologize."

"Get out." I was surprised at the coldness in my voice; I had never spoken to anyone like this before. It hurt knowing I had to at all, let alone use it while speaking to Edward.

"Please, Bella." He looked like a tormented man, lost and broken.

I didn't care. I didn't want to care, that is.

"GET OUT!" I yelled, leaping up on my knees to beat my fists against his chest in a very Scarlett O'Hara move.

"Do you want to wake everyone up?" he whispered in my ear, causing tingles to spread out all over my flesh. How I hated my hormones in that moment.

"I want you to leave," I whispered back.

"I'm not leaving until you listen to me," he said firmly, all traces of that annoying calm exterior gone. He looked like he was going to have me listen to him, whether he had to make me or not.

I sighed and crossed my arms like a child. "I want you to listen to me. Haven't you hurt me enough? I don't want to hear what you have to say. I certainly don't have to, either."

Edward looked sick at my words. "I didn't mean it to come out that way, Bella, you have to understand. I was just so mad."

"You had nothing to be angry over."

He smirked bitterly. "Oh? What about Jacob?"

"What about Jacob?" I repeated tiredly.

"I was insanely jealous."

There was a silence after his words as we stared at one another in mutual disbelief over his words. I could tell he hadn't meant to say it, didn't want to say it, but he did anyway. And I knew he meant it.

Was Alice right? Was Edward feeling something else, something more? Something a little like what I was feeling?

How could that be possible? He had been so nasty to me….

"I… don't know what's happening to me, Bella. A few days ago all you were to me was Alice's friend. But now… after all that's happened, I find myself thinking about you all the time. I can't get you out of my head! The tiny amount of memories I have of that night play over and over in my head and I just can't-"

A punch to his jaw cut him off. Oops.

He rubbed it in shock and then looked at me as he sensually licked away a drop of blood. It wasn't meant to be sensual but that is that art of being a Cullen. I stared at back at him, surprised at myself. I never hit anyone before, and I never really wanted to until now.

Edward Cullen was a bastard who didn't deserve my time. He had slept with me, tossed me aside, ignored my feelings, said horrible things, and now had the nerve to show up in the middle of the night and tell me… what? That against his better judgment, against his own wants and desires he was being forced to remember our night together? How horrible that must be for him.

"What was that for?" he asked quietly, the anger barely contained in his voice.

"I'm just so sorry for you that you're being forced to remember," I whispered bitterly. "What a terrible fate. Is that all you've come to say? Because now you can leave."

I stood up and started pushing him towards the door, surprised I was getting him to move so much. Then I realized he was shaking and mumbling things to me. Finally he stopped letting me push him and grabbed my fists.

"Bella, God damn it, I love you!"

I froze. My head slowly looked up at met his eyes, seeing the truth in them for the first time. But I couldn't believe, not after all that had happened. I wasn't interested in any more games. Even if it were true, even if he meant it, it infuriated me. I ripped a fist out of his hand and slapped him, hard, across his face.

"You don't know what love is! You don't deserve to love!"

Edward rubbed his cheek but he didn't look angry with me; he looked desperate. "You're so right, Bella, I don't deserve to love you. But I do, with everything I got."

I took in a shuddering breath. "Well that's not enough."

Despite my ferocious punching and slapping, Edward took this blow the hardest. For a moment, I thought he was going to stumble to the floor. He took a few staggering steps back and looked at me like he didn't know who I was or what I was saying.

"That can't be," he protested.

"It is. I don't want you."

His eyes widened and then shut. I watched him as he started pacing back and forth, shaking his head.

"You can leave now," I said in a dead voice. I didn't want to see him like this; it made what I had to do harder.

He stopped, then, and looked back at me like he had forgotten I was there. He stomped over to me so fast that I couldn't run away and grabbed me. He pulled me against his freezing and wet chest and stared down at me, a stare so demanding and possessive that I couldn't look away for all my stubbornness.

"No."

"What?" I asked breathlessly. I had forgotten what we were talking about; Edward's heavy breathing and lustful eyes were turning me into mush.

One arm constricted around my lower back as the other found my ass, pulling me closer to his drenched body and lifting a leg in the process. My traitorous leg wrapped around his waist and I nearly fainted at the feeling of Edward's hardness. Oh, my God. He was aroused.

"I'm not letting you go. Not ever. I love you and I want you to be mine"

He magically said the words to take me out of my fog and I nearly murdered him right there. "How dare you?" I spat.

He ignored my fighting as I tried to get away from him. We were both sticky with sweat and panting at our exertions.

"Stop trying to hit me, Bella," he said, almost sounding amused. "You are mine. And I'll show you right now."

"W-what are you doing?" I murmured, sounding like a weak child. I wasn't sure if I understood him right but my own arousal hoped so.

He leaned close so that his nose skimmed against my cheek. His lips met my ear and he breathed out, reducing me to a shivering mess. "I want you, Bella."

I let out a whimpering noise. All resistance was gone and I knew it, he knew it. The wine I had at dinner was still pulsing warmly through my veins and suddenly I had no desire to stop this. I wanted it. I wanted Edward, even if it were just for tonight. Tomorrow morning I could sob and feel disgusted with myself and hate him again, but I wanted him right now.

"Can I have you?" he whispered against my neck. His tongue touched my boiling flesh and my knees started knocking together. "I won't force you but I need you to know…. I need you so much."

He started backing us up to the bed as his hand massaged my bottom. The other hand stroked my face as he murmured things to me I couldn't comprehend. They sounded like loving endearments but I refused to listen; I kept telling myself this wasn't about love. I felt drugged with desire, with want.

He gently dropped me to the bed and then climbed in next to me. His hand ran from my knee, across my thigh, over my stomach, and then up my arm. He watched his movements and then massaged my upper arm as his excited eyes met my heavy-lidded ones.

Slowly, like Edward was afraid I was going to disappear or freak out on him or something, he leaned down and kissed me. The kiss was… unimaginable. Words can't describe. No metaphor would do it justice. It was just perfect and wet and hot and sweet and soft and demanding and chocolate chip cookies when you were a kid and snow days and a good book, all rolled into one.

After a while he moved back and stared at me. If I really let myself see it, the love was clear in his eyes. But I looked away and stared at his swollen lips. I wanted to make them raw with my kisses.

"I want you," he rasped out huskily, "more than anything in the whole world. Please, Isabella."

His hand wrapped around my waist and, in a rapid movement, brought me flush with his hard body.

"Do you want this?" he asked, his eyes intense balls of light, glittering in the moonlight.

He looked so beautiful, so innocent, so eager in that moment. I started crying silently, realizing this was the moment that I wanted for so long and it was all wrong. I wasn't supposed to be drunk. We weren't supposed to have had sex already that I couldn't remember. We weren't supposed to be awkwardly fighting for a few days before. It wasn't supposed to happen in Alice's bedroom. This was all wrong. But I couldn't say that; the words wouldn't form. Because my body had completely taken over in that moment and it wanted Edward, above the romance and the "perfect moment". It wanted the mistake again and it would let me pick up in the pieces in the morning.

Edward lowered his scorching gaze, and for a moment I almost laughed at his heartbroken expression. He shifted anxiously and looked at the door like he was planning on running away.

Not yet, my body screamed. You can run in the morning but you're not going anywhere yet.

I didn't answer his earlier question. I didn't have to.

I kissed him back, hungrily, and reached for his arousal that was pressing against my leg. That was all the encouragement Edward needed. Neither of us needed foreplay.

We undressed each other like savages, giggling as we impatiently ripped and tore each other's clothes. The moon created a romantic glow in the night, so we could just see each other's pale flesh and excited expressions. Edward violently tugged off my jeans and lost his balance as we fell to the floor.

I started laughing heartily but Edward's lips silenced mine as he ripped off my underwear and entered me with a relieved groan.

"I wanted this so bad," he whispered against my lips. "You feel so perfect."

I moaned in response. "You're going too slow," I whined and then gasped as his fingers pinched my nipple.

"Be patient… I want to savor this."

We were quiet then, our grunts and moans the only sounds bouncing off the walls. Our breathing became loud pants and gasps and I wondered if we could pass out from the lack oxygen.

"I love you," he gasped as he penetrated me even deeper.

"Don't…," I sobbed, "don't say that."

As Edward sped up, pounding into me relentlessly, all thought processes were gone.

"Oh, Edward," I moaned throatily, much too loud.

"Shhh, Bella," he whispered against my collarbone. "I've never felt like this… Oh, God."

Edward went even faster, making me yelp out into the night. But he didn't stop his movements or scold me because of my noises; soon he started joining in.

I knew we were both close. Our movements had taken on a frantic nature, as did our breathing. Edward's eyes popped open and met mine as he went impossibly fast. In that moment, I believed he loved me with my whole soul. As I came and as I felt Edward follow, the unmistakable feeling of his release casting me into yet another excruciatingly wonderful orgasm, I believed that he loved me, maybe as much as I loved him.

We moaned together for a few moments after, enjoying the aftershocks and the delicious feeling when Edward's hardness pumped in me again. And then he rolled off of me and picked me up, laying me gently next to him in the big bed. He cuddled against me, whispering that he loved me again, and kissed my forehead, then my nose, and finally my lips. And I thought I felt his love pouring out from his lips, from his skin and even his eyes. Oh, yes. I believed he loved me.

When I woke up the next morning to an empty bed, I asked myself how I could have been so stupid.

Ahhh, don't kill me! Don't fret, don't fret- things will eventually get sorted out. Leave me some more thoughts/ideas. I some love, too; I just walked over to the laundry room and this girl took all my stuff out of the washer. Not a good start to the day!

PS- had to use that nightmare reference. It was just too tempting.