[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks for your reviews, my lovely readers. It always brightens up my day, when you leave me some nice words.

I've decided that I totally need a wife. I like brunettes who know how to cook. Let me know if you are interested.

Anyway, I hope that you are going to like the new update today. Let's see what the girls are up to. Shall we?

**10**

Nothing is impossible to a willing heart

(John Heywood)

I tossed around between the sheets on my bed, unable to find sleep. Even the couch last night had seemed a great deal more comfortable. Maybe it was because I had held Bella in my arms last night. My mind, unable to stop, started replaying every tiny detail of how she had felt like so close to me.

Her breasts had pressed against my side. Even through the thick material of Bella's sweater and my own shirt, I could feel their soft fullness. I imagined how it would be like to pull the ugly sweater upwards and expose the beauty of her naked body. I would tug down the cups of her bra and run my fingertips gently over the sides of her breasts first. Then I would tease one of her nipples with the tip of my tongue until it would morph into a tight nub.

My hand moved under my sleep shirt to cup my own breasts gently. I tugged on my sensitive nipples, trying to find the right rhythm.

"Oh Bella," I whispered breathlessly into the darkness. I closed my eyes and imagined that is was her caressing my body instead of my own hands.

I pictured myself on top of her, grinding against her thigh. The thought made me soaking wet within a couple of seconds. My right hand moved over the thin cotton of my panties where I rubbed my fingertips over the damp material. I turned on my stomach and lowered my fingers inside my ruined underwear. The pillow against my face suppressed my soft moans as I rubbed my clit. I wanted to touch Bella like I was touching myself now. I wanted to feel her arousal against my fingers, have the echo of her moans in my ears.

Pushing two fingers deep inside my quivering pussy, I rocked back and forth against it. I was getting closer to my release with every movement of my hips, with every slapping of my palm against my swollen clit. I imagined Bella's tongue between my legs, its velvety warmth flickering over my sex. I cried out against the pillow that was stuffed between my lips as I climaxed with a shudder through my body.

xxxx

When I woke up again in the morning something warm and wet slobbered over my face. The dog's gigantic head was so close now that I felt his yucky breathe against my cheek.

I screamed loud and hysterically while the monster licked me right across my face for a second time. Bella was inside the room within seconds. My screaming must have woken her up.

"Jake, get away from her, you stupid dog." Bella called out, pulling the dog away from me. "What the hell are you doing in here anyway?"

I wiped my face at the corner of my blanket. This was just gross. Did the dog possibly try to eat me up alive?

Bella pulled the animal out of the guestroom and returned a few moments later to sit down on the edge of my bed.

"Are you okay? He didn't scare you too much, did he?"

"I can't stand him." I whined. "He's follows me around everywhere in the house like a stalker."

She chuckled and wrapped her arm around me. "Seems like you've found a male admirer at last, even if it's just a furry one,"

I cringed and stood up from the bed, pulling around on my shirt while I tiptoed around in the room.

Today was the first halfway sunny day in weeks. The calendar on the wall reminded me that tomorrow was going to be the second of June. It had been two months now since I had moved in with Bella after my cousin's death.

Time went by in a flash and it was a mere seven weeks left until I would need to return to Australia again. I wanted to leave again. Being around Bella was getting unbearable for me.

I pulled a dress and some underwear out of the closet while Bella continued to apologize to me for the dog. Why she was so smitten with the mutt was beyond me. Keeping it fed was pricey and money was tight in Bella's house since Emmett had died.

In order to make some money, Bella had decided to take on a part time job in her old job at the museum. Her former boss, Angela who had gone to school with me and her was very willing to give her back the job. From next month on Bella was to work three days a week in the museum, explaining native history to school classes and other visitors. There was only one problem in this arrangement though. The twins still hadn't managed to get a place in a Daycare Center. There were a few who had offered to take one of the twins.

Separating them was not an option for Bella though. Finally it was my aunt, Bella's mother in law who stepped in. She offered to cover the costs for a nanny so that Bella could start working again.

Yesterday Mom had helped Bella contact an agency who hired Nannies. The first job candidates would show up here after the weekend.

"I don't like the thought of having a stranger look after the kids." Bella stated while I searched for a matching scarf to go with my dress.

"We'll find someone nice." I told her. "Mom says the agency has quite high standards."

I went to the small guest bathroom adjusted to the bedroom. Here I splashed some cold water into my face before I stepped into my clothes. My hair got another layer of hairspray before I tugged and pulled around on my curls until they were finally arranged in the perfect disarray.

I had just applied my mascara and was about to pucker my lips in order to put a pinkish lip gloss on. The door that had been ajar was pulled open and little Julie tumbled inside. I had taken her into my heart so much that the thought of leaving her behind in a few weeks was saddening to me.

"Julie, pretty." she insisted, tugging on my dress. "Julie, pretty."

I laughed and sat her down on the closed toilet lid.

"Make a fish face, cutie. Yes, like this." I said, putting a tiny bit of lip gloss on her little mouth.

"Smile," Bella commanded and a split second later the light of a camera blended my eyes.

"That's a cute picture." she stated, holding the display up to me to let me take a look. "Julie loves you so much. You're her heroine."

Bella took a look at my make-up utensils and shook her head. "Why you need all this stuff there, I don't get it. Don't you know that you are pretty without this?"

Any time she made me an innocent compliment like that, the feeling of guilt in the base of my stomach worsened. I was deeper in love with her than ever before. Staying under one roof together had only made everything more complicated. She was so cuddly. Had she always been that way? Bella permanently hugged me. I was getting used to having us hold hands while we walked through the park with the kids. It was so nice and innocent. It wasn't enough. Nothing Bella was ever willing to give to me could ever be close to being enough for me.

My unrequired feelings had a terrible influence on my mood. I got so skittish, it was a shame. I bitched at my parents when they suggested that I could try to find a job in Seattle instead of returning to Australia. I told my brother to go fuck himself when he kept constantly asking me about what was wrong with me. He wouldn't leave me alone though. Maybe that's how big brothers are like.

"Edward wants me to have breakfast with him in that diner place downtown that Tanya and the other Cleary sisters run."

"The Denali's? Why are you calling them Cleary?"

"Just a private joke, nothing more," I said. "I'll see you later. Good bye."

She kissed me on my cheek before I rushed down the stairs. The spot where her lips had touched the skin of my face still felt warm when I parked the car in front of the café about twenty minutes later. I was so fucking pathetic.

My brother was already there, sipping on a cup of black coffee between his hands. Tanya was standing next to his chair, ogling over him like he was something tasty to eat. On the opposite side of his table sat a tall, brunette woman in a horrible orange colored dress. It made her skin look yellow.

"Oh there she is, finally." He called out, the relief audible in his voice. "Tanya, you remember my sister? Alice, you remember Miss Tanya Denali and her sister Irina Laurent?"

Laurent? Laurent? From where did I remember that name?

"It's nice to meet you again, Alice." Tanya stated, granting me a smile. "Your brother loves to talk about you."

Then she turned her attention to Edward again. "Is there anything else I can get you, Father Edward? Our Slovakian apple pie is juicy and mouthwatering. Our mother brought the recipe with her when she moved to the States."

Edward shook his head. "I bet it's delicious but I never cared too much for cake. It doesn't really tempt me. Alice, would you like to try a piece of the pie?"

"Sure. I like apple pie. Can I have a glass of milk to go with it? Thank you, Tanya."

She walked off, wiggling her rounded backside a bit back and worth. Edward didn't even bother to take a look. Poor Miss Denali would be so disappointed to know.

"How are you today? Is your mood any better or are you still pms-ing?"

"Do you think a woman's period is the only reason for her to be in a bad mood?"

He grinned and sipped on his coffee again. Tanya returned with my milk. She placed it in front of me. Then, she leaned forward to allow my brother a gracious view right into her cleavage. Again he didn't look.

When she walked off again he choked a bit on the coffee in his mouth.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you okay, Alice?" Edward asked back, placing his now empty cup of coffee on the saucer. "I'm a bit worried about you."

"It's not because I don't go to church with Mom and Dad anymore, is it? That's my choice."

"I'm not here to discuss the weakness in your Faith with you. God loves you anyway, whether you visit his house or not."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I do. Oh, there comes your cake. Doesn't it look good?"

I mumbled a thank you to Tanya and dipped my fork into the crust of the cake. It turned out that it looked better than it tasted like. Family recipe? The thing reminded me a bit of a cheap convenience blend from a supermarket.

"You don't have to worry about me." I told Edward. "I'm an adult now. There's no need for you to protect me anymore."

He placed his hand on mine and squeezed his fingers around mine. "I will always protect you. Now, can you please tell me what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing,"

"It's forbidden to lie to a priest. I know that something is wrong. You seem tensed the entire time."

"I am not tensed." I stated, hiding my bitten fingernails under the table. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"I love you. I want to know what it is that is nagging on you so much. Does it have to do with your job in Sydney?"

"No." I sighed. "It doesn't have anything to do with that." I stuffed another mouthful of the cake between my lips and swallowed it down with a gulp of cold milk. "I've fallen in love with someone. Actually, I have been in love with that person for a very long time."

"That's great. Tell me about him. Where did you meet?"

I hesitated and chewed an entire minute on a tiny piece of apple pie before I managed to bring up the courage to speak again.

"It's a woman."

For a couple of moments Edward was very still and I couldn't endure the accusatory silence. I jumped from my chair, throwing the half-empty glass of milk over.

"Wait." Edward stated, grabbing his hand around my wrist. He made me sit down again and tried to soak up the milk from the table with a few paper napkins.

"You hate me now. I know you must hate me." I stumbled out, while my eyes filled with burning hot tears of desperation. "The Church hates people like me."

"Aly, look at me." My brother whispered "I don't hate you. I could never hate you."

"But our Faith says that…,"

"I know what the bible says, more than you do." He stated calmly before he handed me a napkin to wipe away my tears. "The thing is that I can stop being a priest. I can stop being a Catholic but I can ever stop being your brother. That means, I can never stop loving you."

xxxx

"This is getting hopeless." Bella sighed, taking a sip from the cup of herbal tea in front of her. During the last two days she hadn't had anything to eat apart from carrot sticks and the yucky smelling tea. It was supposed to make her drop three pounds in a week. I was more concerned it was going to make her sick.

My mother who was sitting between me and Bella on the couch petted my friend's knee. "Don't worry, sweetheart. We'll find the perfect Nanny for our two darlings. It's just a matter of patience."

"Mom, we don't have that much time. Bella is supposed to start working soon and I need to fly back to Australia." I told her, using the opportunity to emphasize my upcoming departure another time. I would return to my life in Sydney. Then I would find a nice Australian woman, preferably a blonde or a red-head and start a normal relationship. It was the perfect plan. I knew I could do it.

"Alice, what do you think of this one here? The woman has a lot of experience. Maybe we should call her to come for a second interview."

I took the folder from her and flipped through Heidi Flieder's application papers. The woman looked like a mixture of a German beer waitress and a dominatrix. When she had been here earlier, the grip of her hand had almost managed to crack my fingers. Little Julie had instantly started crying when Heidi had put her on her lap.

"I don't think, you'd be very with her as a Nanny." I stated.

The second Nanny, the pitiless jury consisting of Bella, Mom and myself had interviewed was a careless twenty-year-old named Bree Tanner. She had won the twins heart when she had fed the kids some chocolate that had ended up on the carpet, the children's clothes and the couch. Bree loved kids. That much was obvious. She was just hopelessly unable to cope with the lively twins.

The ring of the doorbell made me stand up from the couch. "Did you arrange another interview for today?" I asked Bella who shook her head.

"Maybe the agency knew that it would be difficult for you to find the right babysitter and sent another candidate." Mom assumed.

I went to open the door, followed by the dog that didn't stop clinging to me no matter how hard I tried to ignore Jake. Well, as good as you can ignore a 140 pound dog.

Pulling the door open in the hope to find Mary Poppins standing behind it, I pressed the door handle down.

Instead of a nerdy British Nanny with an umbrella my eyes caught the perky backside of a statuesque, blonde woman who was just about to walk off the porch again.

"Miss? Please, wait."

She turned around and smiled shyly. Her hair was thick and wavy, cascading down her shoulders in gorgeous honey-blonde curls. The light blue color of her eyes was framed by long, feathery eyelashes. I couldn't remember to have seen such a gorgeous woman ever before. She looked prettier than any of the models I knew.

"I'm sorry." She whispered huskily. "I shouldn't have come here. It was a stupid idea. I don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry."

"Well, the jobs not taken yet. Why don't you come inside and my friend will discuss everything with you."

"The job?" she repeated barely audible. "What job?"

"The nanny job for the McCarty twins, isn't that why you came here?"

"Twins?" she muttered. "He had twins? Oh, my God, it must be so hard for you with the two little kids now. I'm so sorry."

"Oh, they're not mine. I'm just a friend." I told her. "Aren't you too pretty to be a Nanny?"

"Well, I just love kids." she stuttered nervously. "I'm good with them."

God, it was adorable how shy she seemed to be. My sympathy for her instantly vanished though when she lowered her hand to pet the dog's head. "Good boy. What a great dog, you have. I love animals but I never could—"

"Alice is the Nanny candidate with you?" Bella called from the living room.

The blonde dog lover followed me inside. Jake wiggled his tail against her black pants and she didn't seem to mind it in the slightest. She laughed when he licked her hands.

"Hello there." Mom greeted the woman. "It's nice to meet you, Miss?"

"Hale," Blondie introduced herself. "My name is Rosalie Hale."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Hale, I'm Bella McCarty. Why don't you take a seat?" Bella told her. "Do you want something to drink, coffee perhaps?"

"I don't do well with caffeine. Some water would be nice though."

"Alice, can you?"

I nodded, standing up from the edge of the couch I had been sitting on. For the first time since I had moved into Bella's house the dog didn't follow me into the kitchen. Instead he stayed next to Rosalie and drooled a bit over her shoes. The dog had instantly fallen in love with her. In the kitchen, I put a lemon slice into a glass before I filled it with sparkling water and returned to the living room.

Bella seemed to have developed an instant liking in Rosalie too. During the two minutes I was in the kitchen they had already moved on from Miss Hale and Mrs. McCarty to Bella and Rose.

"That must be difficult raising two little kids on your own. I'm so sorry about your husband." Rose stated full of compassion. "You are a very strong woman. I admire you."

"Oh, I'm not that strong. I have lots of help. My friend Alice here has been around me like twenty-four seven. It's a miracle she hasn't run away, screaming."

I frowned and handed Rose her drink. On the back of her hand was a jagged reddish scar. How did she get that?

"Uhm, Rose, can we see your papers?" Mom asked, flipping through the pile of folders on the table. "The agency must have sent them with those of the others, I think." An envelope fell down the floor and Bella managed to catch it.

"Stupid bank crap." She muttered. "I'll never manage to fill this credit application correctly."

"Can I take a look at the application?" Rose asked. "My father used to work in a bank. I could probably fill any credit application blindly."

For the next twenty minutes Rose helped Bella to fill out the necessary information. Now, that Bella was going to have a regular income again, her chances of keeping the credit running were pretty good.

"You're like an angel sent from heaven above." Bella told Rose, hugging her. "Thank you so much. I could kiss you right now."

I could feel the ugly burning of jealousy beginning to boil deep in the pit of my abdomen. I could see Bella and Rose becoming close friends. I would get replaced like a pair of jeans that's comfortable but out of fashion. It would be her, not me who would move on with her life.

"Shouldn't we talk about Rosalie's qualification as a Nanny for the twins?" I snarled, unable to suppress the anger in my voice. "That's what she's came here for."

"Mary Alice, don't be so rude all the time. It's not nice." Mom reproved me. "Miss Hale? Do you have your papers with you?"

"I'm afraid I forgot to bring them with me. You know, I didn't actually plan on coming here today. It was more of a spontaneous idea."

Em. J. tossed his toy car against the wall and when Julie stumbled over to grab it he went after his sister and pulled on her left pigtail. It made her scream out loudly.

"There, there." Rose hummed gently, kneeling down next to the twins on the ground. She pulled Em. J. on her lap, until he stopped fidgeting around, a few minutes later.

"Such a handsome boy and he can't stop teasing his sister. Tell her how sorry you are."

"Em. J. is not very talkative." Bella told Rose, lifting up Julie from the ground. The girl sobbed and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

Rosalie stood up from the carpet and rocked Em. J. back and forth on her hip to balance his weight somehow. "Say sorry to your sister. She's crying because of you."

She grabbed his hand and placed it on Julie cheeks, moving it down gently. He stroked her cheek and hummed. "See, that's a good boy again. Now, you've told your sister you are sorry for pulling on her hair."

"You're great with the kids." Bella stated, handing Julie who had stopped crying now on to me. I fixed her hair and planted a kiss on the little girl's head.

"I love children. When the doctors told me I couldn't have one of my own I was devastated. I'd love to have half a dozen kids."

"You've gotten along with my late husband. Emmett wanted us to have a baseball team. Two are enough though. Julie and Em.J. make trouble for two dozen."

"They are adorable kids. There is nothing wrong with kids being a bit lively."

I frowned. "We can talk about that again after you've been running around the little monsters for two hours."

"I'm not actually qualified enough for the job as a nanny. I had some preschool teaching courses at college but that has been years."

"The kids like you." Bella said. "That counts way more to me than any qualification papers."

Rosalie sipped on her water, leaving a pinkish mark on the edge of the glass. Little Em. J. had snuggled up against her impressive chest. It looked like he would drift into sleep any second. I could already tell the boy was going to be a boob lover in the future.

"Do you really consider giving the job to me?" Rose asked. "I mean, I would love to help you but if you'd rather give the job to someone else—"

"Well, we could give it a try. Let's say a test weekend or something like that. Tomorrow night you can watch the twins while Alice and I go out a bit."

I was a bit shocked by the fact that Bella used the words go out and our names combined together. During the last two months she had barely wanted to leave the house at all, if it wasn't for going grocery shopping or taking the twins to some of their baby courses. Obviously it was important for little kids to attend swim, gymnastic and even painting courses to get anywhere in life.

She wanted to go out tomorrow? Stop being so thrilled, I tried to calm myself. It's not like a date. It's not a date, God damn it, I thought bitterly.

Bella and Rose exchanged phone numbers and agreed to Rosalie coming to watch the kids tomorrow evening. My mother would be just a few minutes away should Rose not be able to handle the kids.

I escorted Rosalie and Mom to the front door and told them goodbye. Then I helped Bella to bring up the sleeping twins and tug them in.

"They are so cute when they are sleeping." Bella whispered, running her fingertip over Em. J.'s curly-head. "I love them so much."

When I walked as quietly as possible out of the kids' room, Bella reached for my hand in the darkness.

"I'm so grateful for everything you've done for me and the children." She said. Then she sat down at the top of the stairs and took a deep breathe. "I'm going to miss you so much when you move back to Australia." Her voice sounded like she was close to crying.

"You won't have any time to miss me, now that you've found such a good-looking babysitter to work for you."

"Rose is beautiful, isn't she? But she could never replace my best friend. Alice, I love you so much."

I moved a bit further away from her. It hurt me terribly when she got affectionate like that. With a sigh she rested her head against my lap. Instinctively I started playing with her hair, twisting the long tresses of brown silk around my fingertips.

"I love you too." I whispered softly. "I will always love you."

In that moment it didn't matter to me that to Bella my words wouldn't mean the same that they meant to me. I could still pretend that somehow, deep in the deepest corner of her soul Bella loved me just as much as I did. I lowered my face and touched my lips against her forehead.

When she blinked up at me through her eyelashes I could feel my heart hammering traitorously against my ribs.

"Alice," Bella breathed before she slowly stood up again. "I…we…I think I should go to bed now. I'm tired. Good night, Aly."

She disappeared inside her bedroom and closed the door behind her. I stared after her for a little eternity. As long as I was just pretending, Bella could always walk out on me and close a door between my secret feelings for her and herself. As long as I kept pretending, she could love me back, the cracks in my heart wouldn't start healing.