A/N: This chapter proceeds a little strongly with the mental turmoil, so if that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable I would advise proceeding with caution.

He's alone.

It's quicksand, it's been pulling him under this whole time. The more he fights to deny it, the quicker it sucks him under. His only option is to stop struggling and let the earth pull him under until he can hit the bottom. It's close, he can feel it.

Hell isn't the screaming cesspool of fire he pictured it to be. It's the match that won't ignite, suffocated by the lack of oxygen. It's a smoky fog clouding his thoughts, leaving him to focus on naught but the things that matter the least. It's dull and muted, leaving him strangely apathetic as his worst nightmares come to fruition.

There is a slow burning ember inside him that is harder to extinguish. He's angry at Louis, he's angry at himself, he's angry at almost everyone. Except, due to the nature of this anger, he can barely bring himself to act upon any of this. It's a different kind of anger to what he's used to experiencing. The sour haze that no-one around can see is devoid of urgency. It is patient. It does not attack; instead it slowly poisons his mind against those around him while he pretends everything is fine. Harvey's gotten good at that.

But his panic attacks have stopped. So at least the pills are working.

There are a few rare things he's still passionately incensed about. Like the colour orange. Orange is an awful colour. He never thought too much into it, but recently it has been brought to attention just how disgusting and maddening it is.

The pill bottle on his nightstand clashes horribly with the décor of his apartment. He has considered on numerous occasions getting Gretchen to request that she ask for a different coloured pill bottle at the drugstore. But that, of course, would require spending more time talking about it than is necessary. Even though Gretchen knows more than most about his situation, she has barely said a word about it. She knows exactly what he needs of her.

It's stigmatising. There's nothing that screams 'I'm afflicted!' quite like a little orange bottle that commands attention sitting in his medicine cabinet. He used to have an amicable relationship with the pills that keep his neurons from attacking himself from within. But now, whenever he has to pick up that godawful pumpkin shaded receptacle, he feels resentment.

Until he actually takes the medication. It brings Harvey a level of peace knowing that he won't be facing the constriction and suffocation that his panic attacks brought him. A part of him knows that he shouldn't be quite so content with the way that he can dry swallow his way out of his problems. But the pills dissuade any worries about that aspect, too. Harvey maintains that his problem is with the pill bottle, not the contents themselves. But the fog hides the motivation to actually do something productive about it. A part of him is annoyed about this. But the pill bottle is a good place to start.

Orange is also the colour he associates with prison. And that's something else he hates to ponder. As much as they've done to ensure that Mike has a paper trail legitimising his very career, it's always at the back of Harvey's mind. It would be reckless of him not to consider plans of action should the day come. He has never told Mike this. There's no need for more people to be in the same state of worry as Harvey is. The prospect of them getting caught is yet another persistent ache at the back of his mind. He almost appreciates it in a way; it keeps him on his toes. Better to be worried and prepared than push it out of his mind and pretend that it's not an issue.

If he were to admit any of this to Dr Agard, she would no doubt inquire as to why he doesn't apply this philosophy to Donna. But that's a completely different situation. He's still worried that that match will ignite, and burn all the bridges he's been tentatively trying to repair.

Harvey could very well continue to wrangle the mess inside his head, or he could put his mind to better use and actually achieve something. One thought that has been plaguing his mind today is Louis' comment upon their return from the therapy session. It's been a few weeks since he last attended; mid-afternoon on a weekday when working for a prestigious law firm isn't exactly the best time to have a permanently unavailable window. The firm needs Harvey's (perceived) strength more than ever, and skipping out every Tuesday afternoon for undisclosed purposes doesn't paint him in a good light with the partners. Jessica doesn't know why, and she has yet to mention anything to him about it, but he knows she has noticed. And she has enough on her plate without her fellow named partner to be in the midst of a mental breakdown.

It's even more difficult for Donna. Especially when you work for Louis Litt. Louis is even less likely to make allowances when he doesn't know what the available window is for; when he suspects it's for frivolous purposes. Harvey can't believe that Louis can't put two and two together when he knows that Harvey is in therapy - heck, Louis has one himself. Maybe such a logical leap doesn't extend to Donna's regularly scheduled absences. Why should it, when Harvey himself barely believed that Donna would join him for one therapy session? Let alone frequent sessions. At any rate, it's been difficult to satisfy Louis' incessant questioning about their little escapades. He's a man that can't seem to understand the phrase "mind your own goddamn business". As a result, Donna has indefinitely suspended any activity that doesn't involve work. It's nothing personal. She's not purposely avoiding him.

After an enlightening meeting with Charles Forstman, the firm's inner turmoil has been a struggle that Harvey wants to drown in the quicksand, so he figures that it's the ideal time for him to visit Louis and set the record straight. Surely once Harvey gets to the root of this suspicion, he will be able to fully commit to helping the firm. Because that's how it works. Positive thinking. Positively too much thinking. Dwell not on the actions he'll have to take. He needs a clear head. Good luck with that.

"Harvey, what's going on?" Harvey's spinning slowly in Louis' chair. It means he's not forced to look at all of Louis' ridiculous trinkets that he doesn't want to scrutinise too closely. Plus, there's the risk that there's a photo of Esther around, and Harvey's doing very well at the moment not paying attention to what's caused him havoc. The havoc itself is enough to handle. Oh, and Norma's urn sitting happily on the window sill. Even in death, the woman had an incredible ability to leave a lasting impact on those around her. He's almost impressed.

"If you're waiting for Donna, she's -"

"I'm not." Harvey interrupts Louis before he can get too irritable about the occupation of his office.

"Then what the hell are you doing here?" Harvey has to give Louis some credit, Harvey doesn't usually visit Louis' office voluntarily – much less with a smile on his face.

"I'm here to see you," Harvey replies cheerfully. Louis' brow furrows further in befuddlement.

"Uh – can I ask why?" Louis is nervous now. He's still treading carefully after their little spat, and only has the courage to call Harvey out when they're both in the presence of Jessica.

"It sounds like you just did." Harvey is still spinning very slowly. He puts his foot to the ground to steady himself. His head takes a little longer to roll to a stop. A few blinks, and he's still having a little trouble bringing his surroundings into focus. This better not be a fucking panic attack. Harvey tries blinking again, and everything stills. Thank God.

"Harvey – are you okay?" God, he really used to hate that question. No-one really expects a proper answer – Harvey's not about to wilfully give everyone the rundown on the state of his mental health. Definitely not Louis. Especially not Louis, considering what happened the last time he divulged any truth about his state. Harvey is not surprised, but he is still in theory furious with what Louis planned to do with the recording he made. His actual lividity, however, has subdued lately. So instead of sharp bursts of anger whenever Louis does something completely within the realms of his personality, Harvey is just in a constant low level state of irritation with Louis. Which is far more manageable. Practically normal.

"I'm great." It's going to take a great deal to completely avoid the compulsion to lay on the heavy sarcasm whenever Louis is around. Settle, Harvey. Louis isn't actively trying to antagonise anyone (right now), and they're meant to be on the same side now. Whatever the hell that means.

"I hear what you're saying, but making social calls isn't exactly normal behaviour for us." The man can be sharp when he wants to be. There was a time where Harvey and Louis convening in the same room as each other was a mutual choice. Even then, those days waxed and waned between partnerships, promotions and the odd peril. But as of late? Non-existent. So Louis' apprehension is earned. It would do them both a favour for Harvey to cut to the chase.

"I have a question for you." Actually, Harvey has multiple questions having caught a glimpse at some of the photographs that Louis keeps in his office, but they're questions he probably doesn't want answers to.

"Okay…" Louis sits down at one of the chairs in front of his own desk. His hand is at his mouth; a leftover stance from his long battle with "masticating keratin". The nail-biting habit of Louis' persisted right up until he was made partner. Harvey knows this, because he's been teasing Louis about it for the better part of a decade. He's not quite sure how dwelling over Louis' various tics is meant to help him in this scenario. Maybe it assures Harvey that he is not the only screw-up around here. But he's known that for as long as he's been working at this firm.

"Hello? Harvey?" One interesting effect of the way Harvey's mind has been working lately is that he's had the ability to think about things before he speaks. This isn't a positive development. The offhanded comments that are the lifeblood of his conversations with Mike don't come so easily now. But even worse, sometimes Harvey thinks so much about what he's going to say that his mind drifts away and he doesn't even speak at all. Sometimes, silence can work in his favour, like when he needs to be intimidating when making negotiations. Not when he's about to ask a simple question and then promptly fails to deliver.

"Yeah." He straightens up in his seat, fiddling with the buttons on his jacket. What is he doing here? He's about to leave and visit Dr Agard within 20 minutes, why is he spending it with Louis when he could just as easily ask Donna? Is it worth it to keep drudging up the past unnecessarily? Does he really care if Louis knows about the other time, or is he just looking for a valid reason to be angry with her?

As if she can read his mind, Donna enters the office. She halts when she sees both men in Louis' office. The confusion on her face confirms how peculiar this situation is.

"Should I come back?"

"No, I was just leaving. But can I talk to you outside for a minute?" He knows that Louis is watching them suspiciously as they exit the office, but he realises that he honestly doesn't give a shit anymore. Louis can think whatever he likes.

"Are you coming to see Dr Agard with me today?"

"Harvey, I'm so sorry. I can't, Louis has been really busy with everything, and I can't bail on him right now." What about me? Harvey bites his tongue with the first response that pops into his head. Even he is not that childish.

"He's been overworking you, you deserve a break." Not that going to therapy counts as a break, but if Harvey were in Donna's shoes, he would take any possible reprieve to avoid Louis and his overbearing tendencies.

"You don't get to tell me when I've been overworked. And he's my boss, I can't just tell him to shove it and go anyway." There's a little anger in her voice, and his instinct is to build on it. He is still angry with Donna. To be more precise, he's livid. Livid that he can't make sense of anything, and nothing seems to be changing. Livid that he's equivocating Donna with a stupid little pill bottle. But if he starts a fight, he'll have something constructive to work on in therapy.

"You did that to me," Harvey points out helpfully.

He enters Dr Agard's office alone that afternoon.

"It's just you today?" Dr Agard immediately notes his lack of company.

"Work came up." He's not lying. Withholding a significant portion of the truth, yes, but he can leave that to Dr Agard to figure that one out.

"I don't think you should take this personally." How else is he supposed to take it? Her absence is because of what he said. It's not exactly uncharacteristic of Donna, either. She has always put her work first before anything else. Harvey just likes to forget that nowadays Donna's work and his needs are now two separate entities. It's selfish to expect her to be able to leave whenever she needs to, especially when the firm is facing its internal crisis. He's dragging her down each time he tries to escape the quicksand.

But it didn't have to be like this.

"I told her that she's abandoned me before, so she can do it to Louis for once." Dr Agard needs to know the truth. Harvey doesn't want to be placated today. He wants clarity, even if it hurts.

"Did you really?" It's hard to tell whether her tone is one of disbelief, disgust or whether she's mildly impressed.

"Maybe not in those words," Harvey concedes.

"You told me that your firm has been going through some difficulties, is that correct?" It's quite the understatement. Harvey's got a gun held to his head with Daniel Hardman and now Charles Forstman, and it doesn't help that he's been wading through this mental fog that makes it hard for him to concentrate on much except for his own thoughts. His whole career lately has been one big amber alert, and he wants to dismiss it once and for all.

"Yes."

"And, regardless of the immense stress that you're all facing, you're saying it's the same as her abandoning you again." Dr Agard doesn't get it. There's no 'again', this is just one big instance of abandonment that he has been trying to grapple with. And he honestly didn't bring it up because of any resentment that he may have felt. He just wanted to start a conversation that doesn't consist of brief pleasantries.

"I didn't say that," does he really come off as that callous? This is why he comes to therapy. To get a cold, hard look in the mirror.

"I'm using your own words, Harvey. Frankly, I'm surprised that you wanted her to join us again." Harvey would be surprised as well, but they've spent so little time together lately that he's willing to see her in any capacity. The fact that he still angers her more than she misses him is probably better for her in the long run, but it still hurts.

"Didn't my voicemail give you the gist?" He throws his arm over the back of the couch, choosing a corner of the room to fix his eyes on. It's in the opposite direction of the empty spot on the couch beside him. He's beginning to tire of the games just as much as Dr Agard. They waste the energy he needs just to keep his head above ground.

"Are you still expecting that she might come back and work for you?" He knows better than to expect anything of the sort. But hope? There's always that hope. The distant hope that she might one day forgive all his bullshit and come back to him will never die.

"She wouldn't." Harvey is an expert at driving away those he cares about. Scottie was another unfortunate casualty of this skill of his. Plus, with what he's planning to do, he could never bring Donna down with him.

"Do you understand why?"

"Yes," he croaks. Harvey hates that he knows, and that he can't seem to fix it without making things worse. He knows why she left; Donna's told him as much. He'd be a complete fool not to listen to his own goddamn voicemail that he sent and not see the source of Donna's confusion and uncertainty. He's been an ass not listening to Donna herself telling him how his words and actions have hurt her. The reason, quite plainly and simply, is him. Donna forced his hand, doing everything she always does, everything that he has always trusted and expected her to do. What was he to expect by saying that he loved her? He could barely say it to Scottie.

There's no question as to why this happened. The real question is how. How could this go on for as long as it did? Howdid they get to this point? Howcould he let them get to this point?

He's poison. To everyone. This isn't right. He needs to change the subject, and fast before it starts spiralling downwards.

"I want to change my meds."

"What's wrong? Are you experiencing adverse side effects?" The colour of the bottle is vile. It needs to go. Thinking about Donna's suffering at his hand is something he wants to obscure in the fog. He can't easily change that. The pill bottle, however, is hopefully a quick fix.

"Yes."

"What sort of side effects?"

"They're affecting my mood." The problem being that nothing seems to affect his mood. And he can't even drink alcohol to try and switch it up.

"Have you experienced any more panic attacks?"

"No."

"How exactly has your mood been affected?" Harvey turns his head away.

"I'm not a doctor, I don't know," he mumbles. His symptoms are so vague that they could easily put down to stress and lack of sleep. If he went into detail the hatred of the bottle the pills come in, it would provide a good case for him to be institutionalised.

"Have you been experiencing any mood swings?" He shrugs and shakes his head. Any switches in his mood haven't been visible to anyone, so he can't claim this, either.

"Uncontrollable anger?" Not in the sense that she's referring to. Harvey can't curb his annoyance with everyone and everything that steps in his way, but it hasn't caused him to lash out. Relative to his recent actions, he has been practically docile.

"No," he sighs. The lack of temper really should be something to proud of, but he barely feels like himself anymore.

"Hopelessness? Guilt?" That stirs something unpleasant inside him.

"No." The lawyer doth protest too much.

"What are you feeling guilty about?" Dr Agard, like he once taught Mike, knows exactly where to press when it hurts. She knows now not to bother with challenging his denial and instead ignore it entirely.

"I'm not guilty," he repeats, but the words are empty. He's guilty as sin. The lead perpetrator in most of the problems around him. It's only his training from the DA's office that prompts him to defend himself.

"Are you sure about that?" He doesn't respond. The lack of response says as much as his protest. He can't win, but maybe today isn't about winning.

"Do you feel like you deserve to keep having these panic attacks?" It's a difficult question to answer. The last thing he wants to provoke is a pity party by saying yes, but if he's being entirely honest, it feels like a fitting reminder of what he has done. And he's beginning to tire of having most of his emotions suppressed. Especially the positive ones. Harvey likes life at a certain level, and that involves

"You have come a long way, Harvey. You need to know that."

"It's still not enough." He knows what needs to be done. It's not enough yet, but it soon will be. His next move requires no pushing from Dr Agard. For once, he's going to talk to Donna himself. Unprompted. She deserves that much from him.

"Hey, you got time for some dinner?"

"No," Donna replies emphatically without even looking up. She's still angry at him from earlier today, and it's understandable. But there are a few things that Harvey needs to discuss, and an annoyed Donna is better than no Donna at all.

"Why don't you come and finish your work in my office?" he suggests. "There are some dumplings with your name on them." Donna puts down her pen and pretends to frown at him in disapproval. But he catches her eyes flickering over his shoulder in a distinctly dumplingward direction. Harvey knows for a fact that neither of them have had a proper meal all day. He wouldn't want to hazard a guess at how many times she may have slipped into the breakroom, but given that the firm has just moved into the equivalent of DEFCON 2, it's likely not many.

"You wouldn't want them to get cold now, would you?" He allows himself another mouthful of noodles. Maybe he can pretend that he's charming her with provision of food for the pair of them.

"You can have them, Harvey, I'm busy right now," she replies emphatically.

"Please?" The vulnerability in his voice catches them both by surprise. It's only because he's tired, of course. Harvey clears his throat, trying to shake off the moment.

"You don't have to talk to me," he adds. It's an attempt to lighten the situation. And he has to say a few things, things that she doesn't have to respond to. As long as Donna's willing to give him her company and an ear for a few minutes.

"I suppose I can take a ten minute break." Perfect. He only needs five. Anything after that is a bonus. The food is always a good way to start. It's less likely that any arguments will be fuelled by hunger. He spends five of the next six minutes trying to figure out how to start a conversation.
Their food was eaten quickly, and now Donna sits next to him on his couch in a contented silence. Her head is tilted back, hair fanned against the back of the couch. In the light it looks almost a soothing brown colour. Her eyes are closed and it's the most peaceful he's seen her in a long time. He has forgotten what it's like to feel that serene, but hopefully he can experience it soon.

"I was a jerk." It's a clunky way to break the silence, but it's a start.

"Which time?" Donna asks without a beat. Her eyes don't even open. Oh, it's going to be like pulling teeth. She's not going to make it easy for him. They only have a limited amount of time to go over all his past transgressions. Best to start small.

"Donna," Harvey admonishes. He wants to fix things, but he's jittery enough broaching the subject without Donna prodding him.

"You're going to have to be more specific," Donna replies with a shrug. She cracks open an experimental eyelid to peer at him. When he doesn't reply immediately, she sits up straight and looks him straight in the eye, waiting. Maybe even daring him to proceed. If anyone knows how difficult it is for Harvey to admit his wrongs, it's Donna. Harvey can only hope that his attempt to repair their relationship will be appreciated.

"Okay, I am a jerk. And I'm sorry for what I said today. That wasn't fair to you." Donna bows her head. She seems a little surprised by his apology, and even a little humbled. That speaks to his faults. Apologies have been few and far between from Harvey Specter, and that has to end now.

"And Scottie," Harvey says. His mouth is a little dry, and he's suddenly finding it hard to formulate full sentences. It's a long overdue conversation, and it's difficult trying to figure out the best way to approach it. God, what he wouldn't do for some liquid courage right now.

"What about her?" Donna's voice sounds guarded. Scottie falls under the sensitive category that also contains Stephen Huntley. Both times, they learned more about themselves than was pleasant. Harvey doesn't need to spend much time at all on the subject of Scottie, but there's something that Donna needs to understand about his relationship with Scottie and his relationship with Donna.

"You know what Jessica said to me after -" What the hell is supposed to say here? Anything involving the word 'leaving' will come across as melodramatic and he doesn't want to sound like he's blaming her again, after what happened earlier in the day. He's sick of arguments, he's sick of the anger.

"After I started working for Louis?" God bless Donna Paulsen. He likely would have phrased it in an inflammatory way, and that's the last thing he needs right now. Harvey gives her a grateful smile, and she

"She said that Scottie leaving didn't affect me as much as you did." Once again, Harvey can practically see her heart skip a beat from her facial expression. But she does her best to keep herself composed. And he hates himself for making Donna act guarded around him.

"Is that true?"

"You know it is," Harvey says. Donna turns away to gaze at the table in front of them as she digests his words.

"And do you know why that is?" Her voice is quiet. She's nervous putting forth the question to him. As much as Harvey's been trying not to antagonise her, Donna obviously wants a fight as little as he does.

"Because with Scottie, I knew what I was doing. I was protecting someone else. I never thought it would ever be a possibility that you would leave. But I drove you away. And I'm sorry."

Donna opens her mouth, presumably to add or protest against his words, but he needs to say it all before he loses the courage.

"Donna, wait. You did nothing wrong. You were just acting in self-defence." He's used that expression before, but he was referring to himself. All this time, his narrative has been that Donna threw the first punch, but Harvey sees now that it was him. But at the time he didn't see his "I love you" as a sucker punch.

"Louis really did need my help, you know. And to unleash him on a temp would be irresponsible following Norma's death," Donna's trying to alleviate the situation and he doesn't deserve the levity. He deserves none of the goodness that she brings to his life.

"I didn't have to be such a dick about it." Donna gives a little hum in agreement, but in a graceful act of tact, the matter isn't pressed. She's still probably marvelling that Harvey is finally giving her a full, unprompted apology. He takes the implicit permission granted by Donna to change the subject slightly.

"Does Louis know about us?" He remembers being angry about the possibility, but now it's little more than a mild curiosity.

"Yes." Well, at least he wasn't crazy for suspecting it. And it explains a lot about Louis' behaviour to them both.

"How long?"

"When Louis found out about Mike. Said he'd never trust me unless I told the truth." Even this is his fault. It keeps coming back to his choices, his actions, his secrets.

"I'm sorry."

"I thought you'd be upset that I told him." Donna has no idea. She's been anticipating a heated argument, with name-calling and backstabbing.

"I can't keep fighting anymore." Rock bottom is coming for him, and he needs to embrace it.

"I don't want to keep fighting, either. I want to move forward." This is encouraging. For once, they're both on the same page. If Donna can keep moving forward, then it doesn't matter what he does. She doesn't have to be tainted by his past actions. Harvey knows that Donna will especially be better off if she can move on from him.

"There's only one way I can stop Forstman." There's the slightest hint of tears in his eyes as he says it. The spice from their food is having an intense effect on him. He looks to Donna and watches the comprehension dawn on her face. He's always loved how Donna could fill in the gaps of what he wasn't saying. It's something he'll miss the hell out of.

"No." Finally, finally, she's angry. This is easier for him to handle than a Donna who is hurt. She jumps up out of her seat; a fighting stance.

"There has to be something else you can do!" she exclaims in frustration. The more she's angry at him, the less his departure will hurt. He's hoping that he has angered her enough that Donna won't suffer as much from his decision.

"There's not."

"He can't do that to us! That son of a bitch, I'm going to find that billionaire bastard and kill him." Us. Fuck, Donna's not mad at Harvey. He's doing the very same thing that sent his mind into a tailspin for several months, and the hypocrisy is failing to bother her. She should be infuriated with him, but instead she's on Harvey's side when she shouldn't be. Us. That little word throws him more than he would like.

"He's not doing it to us, he's doing it to me. It's only me he wants. I have to end this."

"So that's it, you're just going to give up?!" It's not worth it to fight her on this. He stands up, walking behind his desk.

"I've made up my mind." If he doesn't meet her eyes, then maybe he can pretend that she can't see his pain. The Manhattan skyline is the perfect distraction. He can get lost in the lights of the city, as they blur into a familiar haze in front of him. The thought of leaving her hurts as much as it hurts Donna. If he didn't understand how Donna felt to quit, he sure as hell does now.

"You're trying to drive me away," she accuses, slowly walking over next to him. Lying to her would be rude, especially when it would do nothing to convince her. Donna knows him, she knows how he works, and she can see the truth. Even now, she's the best at what she does. Her je ne sais quoi pierces through the wall of bullshit, and he needs to stop denying it.

"I've done enough, Donna. All I've done is hurt this firm and everyone in it." Especially you.

"I'm not going to let you," Donna insists angrily.

"You can't stop me," he can't help but smile at her.

"Watch me," she challenges and suddenly she's kissing him; it's the best and the worst thing she has ever done. He freezes for a second. It shouldn't be happening like this. But if he doesn't do this right now, there may not be a next time. Donna pulls away, sensing his hesitation. She waits for him, vulnerability in her eyes, waiting to be pushed away by him once again. Instead, Harvey pulls her back into him; one hand cupping her face, the other practically crushing her body to him. He kisses her with all the pain and sorrow he feels. For a blissful few seconds, she makes him forget everything as she returns his kiss with fervour. But in Harvey's life, all good things must come to end and he breaks the kiss before he ruins things any further.

"We can't," he whispers, but the hand cradling her face refuses to budge. If he lets go, she'll see his hands shaking, and the last thing he needs is to confirm to her that he's trying not to break. Donna steps back. She gives him a dazed smile for a few seconds, mirroring how he felt when there was nothing in the world but them. But her face drops when context re-emerges and they remember where they are.

"Harvey?" Her voice is shaking, and he nearly collapses at the sound. It's not the kiss that would make him drop everything and stop, it's the fear in her voice. Donna's spooked, and he all he wants in that moment is to drop everything else, forgo the firm and Forstman and find another way. But he knows it's fleeting and he has to let this desire pass. But he has to be strong for them both.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know," he admits. It's the strongest he's ever been, admitting this. Donna winds her arms around his neck and buries her head in Harvey's shoulder; the hug that she once wanted, and the hug that he has apparently always needed. He chuckles as he realises Donna was right: she is making it a hell of a lot harder for him to leave.

"You know I'll always be there for you, right?" Donna asks softly. Harvey wishes he could say the same. He hopes that one day, she'll see this is for the best. But for now, all he does is hold her tighter until it really is time for them to go. Before Donna leaves his office, she gazes at him with intense disquiet. It's her look when she knows there's more than Harvey is telling her.

"Don't worry about me," he assures her. But she's not convinced. Still she stands at his door, like there's something else Donna wants to say to him. But there are very few words that are enough now.

"I love you, Donna," Harvey says, because it's the only thing he can think of saying to her. She doesn't smile, but she nods her head and finally turns on her heel to exit his office.

As he walks out of Pearson Specter Litt later that night, he's alone once again. The way it has to be.

A/N: Hey howdy hey. Here's the long overdue update! I am so, so sorry it took so long, this chapter threw some real difficulties (and opportunities!) at me. It has been brewing in my mind ever since I wrote the last chapter, and involved multiple rewrites. Throw in a touch of law school (seriously, Rachel Zane is my new idol for juggling working for PSL AND going to law school. My heroine!) and then you have a ridiculous wait for the chapter.

I hope that you guys enjoyed it, and I will do my very best not to keep all you awesome people waiting for the next chapter (aka DON'T WORRY THIS ISN'T THE END!). Thank you all for sticking with me, you mean so much to me!