As he opened the email and began to read it, sorrow filled the M.E.'s eyes and he exclaimed"

"Oh, Timothy!"

"Ducky!" Gibbs' alarm was evident.

Silently, Ducky gestured for the younger man to come over and read what was in front of him, since he'd found no request for confidentiality. In addition, Ducky knew that Gibbs was one of the few people who could fix this and that wouldn't happen unless the Senior Agent knew what he was dealing with.

Gibbs' own eyes filled with sorrow and his heart broke as he read the words his youngest field agent had sent across cyperspace to Ducky; but even worse, what he obviously believed to be true. He really needed to talk to Tim now. It was killing him that Tim would actually think this. To know that the young man had carried this belief with him for the last 6 years, ate a hole in Gibbs' heart.

"Duck, you are gonna answer this?" Gibbs demanded.

"Certainly, Jethro." Ducky was surprised the younger man even had to ask.

"Need you to give him a message for me when you do." Gibbs said with the tone he usually reserved for Tony when he was pissed.

"Certainly, Jethro." Ducky knew he had to help this situation become improved and fast.

"Tell him for me, that There is nothing for him to apologise for. Nothing he needs to be forgiven for." Gibbs relayed.

"All right. I will get on it right away." Ducky promised.

"And, Duck? Make sure you tell him that I'm ready to listen if he wants to talk." Gibbs requested.

"Certainly, Jethro."

"Thanks, Duck. Let me know if he answers it, will ya?" Gibbs asked as he turned and headed out of Autopsy.

After Jethro left, Ducky found himself re-reading the email from Timothy; needing to confirm it said what his troubled mind thought it had said:

Ducky:

You remember the question I asked you before I left?

"Why else would my team always be there for each other; in times like this; but everytime I look around when I'm going through something like this; or even when I get hurt on the job; there's nobody even asking about how I'm doing; like you are now; like you always do?"

And even the one I asked Gibbs a similar question in the letter I left for him: "Why did that earn me the distinction of being the one nobody gave a damn about?"

Would you believe I figured out the answer to both questions? That's right one answer to both questions! The only thing I can't figure out is why id took me so damn long to put it all together in the first place.

But, all the harrassment and callous attitudes, the indifference, the 'not good enough to be anyone's partner' all makes sense now.

I survived by accident on that fateful day when Kate did not.

They loved her. She was a part of them. I was not. All the guilt in the world that consumed me over this, made no difference.

I was the newbie nobody wanted. Hell, Tony felt so threatened, it oozed from his ridicule and harrassment.

I only stayed; stuck it out because of Gibbs. He believed in me; at least he had at first.

For some reason, Ducky, that was the thread I held onto for all these years. One day at a time.

But, I can't hold on to that thread anymore. It broke yesterday.

There's nothing left for me to hold onto there.

Thanks for listening once again.

Look after them for me, please.

Tim.

Ducky immediately dispatched a reply to the distraught young man. This needed to be fixed yesterday! His heart was breaking for the young man and where his brilliant mind had taken him by deductive reasoning and thinking process. Ducky would not rest until he'd done all he could to set things on the right course.

Timothy:

While I am extrememly relieved and thankful that you have chosen to stay in touch with me and share your thoughts and conclusions with me, I find myself most unhappy that you actually believe in your "discovered" answer to both unpleasant questions.

Timothy, there is no justification, as I am sure you are well aware, for the way you were treated during your tenure on Gibbs' team. It saddens me tremendously that you believe that the treatment you recieved was the direct result of someone's resentment that you survived where and when Caitlyn did not.

I beg of you; do not entertain that dreadful and purely painful conclusion for even another moment! It is simply not true.

I must apologise in advance, if your email was meant to be in confidence. Jethro has been concerned about you and asked if I had heard from you. Since you will need to work through some of these issues with him before you can heal, I felt it prudent that he be aware of what you had 'discovered'.

He has asked me to relay a message to you. He has asked that I tell you:

"There is nothing for him to apologise for. Nothing he needs to be forgiven for. And, I'm ready to listen if he wants to talk."

Timothy, I realize you have a lot of pain and hurt buried inside, you've kept it buried all this time. It is time, you unburied it and cleared the air between the two of you. Both of you mean too much to each other to leave things like this. It certainly won't help you heal. It won't help either of you heal.

I know it seems like an unsurmountable hurdle for you to get across, but you must believe you can do it, Timothy. It is the only way.

Please continue to keep in touch. Find a way within yourself to unburden your heart to those who care about you.

Remember, you are not alone.

Sincerely,

Ducky.

Tim opened his email on the way from the airport to his parents' house. As he read Ducky's response, he felt the tears slide down his face. It was easy for Ducky to tell him his conclusion was wrong. It was what Tim had expected the M.E. to say. That didn't mean he was wrong. Gibbs was worried about him? That was doubtful, too. Knowing he needed to do this before he reached his parents' house, Tim quickly fired off a response.

Ducky:

Thank you for your concern, Please don't worry, I will be okay.

Before I can believe that Gibbs isn't angry at me, I need to know he even read the letter I left for him. I

t's not that you or even he would lie to me. It's that I know what I wrote and I know Gibbs. He is who he is and it is not his style to forgive quite so easy. In fact, given the circumstances, I can't think of any reason he would not be angry with me. How would it be possible for him not to be angry with me when I went behind his back the way I did?

Either he is still extremely pissed at me or he's not angry at all because he simply just doesn't care. After all; isn't that what they say? People only get angry with you if they care about you?

I'm not upset that you let him read my email to you. In fact, I'm kind of relieved. Now, at least, it's something I won't ever have to repeat to anyone again.

Thank you again, for everything.

Tim

Ducky was relieved to hear from the young man again. He was also relieved that he did not sound like he was looking for any desperate measures to end his current situation. However, he needed to be certain of it. Quickly, he sent a quick reply:

Timothy:

Please tell me that you will talk to your parents and whoever else you need to in order to help you sort these things out.

Don't hesitate to call Jethro. After all, he needs to clear the air with you as much, if not more, than you need to do so with him.

He read your letter and he understands your need to stand up for yourself. He may not have liked the way you went about it, but he is not angry with you for doing it. He is concerned about you.

Do stay in touch,

Ducky

Tim chuckled when he recieved a lightening quick response from Ducky. But, when he read it, the laughter quickly left him. Ducky thought he was so hurt and angry that he was gonna hurt himself? Why would he think that? That would be spitting in the face of everything he'd been taught and had learned throughout the course of his lifetime. He couldn't do that to his father or to Gibbs. It didn't matter how hurt or angry he was at the man.

"Ducky"

I'm not going to hurt myself. It's obvious you're worried about that. Please don't be.

I'm going to talk to my parents. That's the whole reason I came home. I will talk to Gibbs, if it will ease your mind.

Thank you for worrying. You can stop now. I'm almost home.

Thankfully,

Tim.

Ducky was able to breathe easier when he recieved Timothy's response. He was happy at the prospect of the young man speaking to Gibbs again. It was a necessary step in the right direction. Knowing he would hear about it in the end, Ducky set about getting some work done so he'd be free to listen when the time came.

Ziva continued to maintain her silent state of anger throughout the hours since McGee's departure. While her heart was seemingly crushed that her friend had abandoned his friends and work family; her Mossad training was holding her in good stead. She was able to focus on McGee's good qualities. Tim McGee had strength of character, patience, compassion, loyalty, integrety and honesty. When he considered you a friend, he didn't turn his back on you, ever. He was always there for his friends, even when they failed to recognise the need for him to be there. It was these qualities that made Tim McGee who he was and that person would be back. That person didn't abandon his family.

But, then again, when that same family seemed to repeatedly abandon or neglect you, it creates quite a different picture. Different circumstances present themsevles; creating different choices. Nothing about this situation would be considered normal. With that in mind,, one had to see how normal options just wouldn't even come into consideration here. Of course, McGee would have had to think of something unusual as the answer to everything that had plagued him at once.

Ziva understood why McGee had chosen to run instead of staying and talking. Talking would not have helped his broken heart. Who, after all, would he have thought would listen? While she was puzzled and hurt that he had not come to her with his problems; she recognised this for what it signified. Obviously, Tim had been carrying something around that he did not think she was capable of understanding. Talking certainly would not have given him back the pieces of himself he had most likely lost as he'd been used and almost killed for some outlandish higher cause. No, McGee wasn't running away, Ziva chided herself. He was going to the one place he felt safe. He was going home to the people who loved him unconditionally. She could only hope that her friend would find the comfort and security he needed when he got there. She also hoped that his family would be able to help him find the healing he so desperately needed.

Abby felt an overwhelming sense of relief when she heard that Tim was in fact staying in touch with Ducky. Finally, after more than three hours of feeling distressed and heartbroken, she was able to put it all away somehow and get back to work. Inventory. Ugh!

Tony felt a sense of relief just seeing the more settled and calm expression on Gibbs' face when he came back from Autopsy. Hearing Gibbs' side of the conversation with Ducky a few minutes ago had helped, too. Apparently, Probie was continuing to respond to the M.E.'s emails and all was, so far, okay with the kid. Earlier, while Gibbs had been down with Ducky, Tony had taken Ziva aside and talked to her about Probie's bizarre behavior as well as his leaving. Surprisingly enough, it had been Ziva who had been the more clear heaed about the whole mess. Ziva had helped Tony understand more and fume less. Ziva had made sense and had somehow helped Tony make sense of Probie's decision and his choices.

Now that he understood why little brother ran, Tony was also able to see why little brother hadn't talked to anyone instead. Here Tony was calling him little brother, but it had been glaringly obvious that Tim didn't feel connected to Tony that way. Why hadn't he realized that Tim wouldn't see it unless Tony made it more clear to him? He'd had six years to prove it to him; to show him, and he hadn' done it. Yeah, Tony's own sense of culpability was steadily getting stronger and the Senior Field Agent wasn't liking what he was finally seeing.

Watching Tony settle back down at his desk, Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief. Here it was, almost four hours since Tim had left and his team was just finally settling back down to where they could function and think about work again. Shaking his head at his own permissiveness, Gibbs had to admit to himself that it was his own fault. He had allowed them free reign after giving them those letters from their teammate. Truth be told, it was only the knowledge and trust in Ducky's ongoing communication with his former agent that was keeping Gibbs focused back on work himself. Looking at Tony and Ziva again, he was pleased to see they once again seemed able to focus on the cold cases on thier desks, as well.

It wasn't long however, before the peaceful silence that had returned to the squad room, was once again broken, this time, by the sound of a harshly indrawn breath from across the room. Looking up, Gibbs saw Tony almost jump to his feet as he stared at his computer screen. Seconds later, his Senior Field Agent looked as white as a ghost as he ran from the squad room looking like he'd just lost his best friend.

Concerned, Gibbs got up and approached Tony's computer. While Gibbs wasn't liking what he was seeing, he understood both the point of view of the sender and Tony's reaction.

Tony:

I figured out why you've hated me all these years. For the first two years, it was because you felt threatened when Gibbs brought me on to the team. I understood that. Although why you felt threatened by geeky me who couldn't ever do anything right, was beyond me. All this time I thought you lived to make my life hell because Gibbs was letting you get by with it. I just figured out that between the two, feeling threatened obviously won out with you.

Then we lost Kate, instead of me. That freakish mistake, that horrible twist of timing and fate forever changed all of our lives and forever lined the crosshairs of your anger and resentment up on my forehead. Gibbs' crosshairs too.

I get it now. I am so sorry I didn't get it sooner.

I'm so sorry I ruined your life by being the one who survived that day, the one who came home that day, instead of Kate.

I will tell you what I told Gibbs.

I can only hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me.

- McGee