Epilogue

The funeral service was small. Nick, Greg, Warrick, Catherine and Brass were all standing by the doors of the church, wearing black clothes and somber expressions.

"We shouldn't have to do this," Nick muttered under his breath. "It isn't right." Catherine reached out and patted his shoulder comfortingly.

"It's what Sara wanted, Nicky. We have to respect her wishes." Their conversation was halted by the doors opening, and the oak coffin was brought into the church, carried by four bearers.
Following behind was Grissom, his arm wrapped tightly around Sara. She still looked pale, and worn, but she was alive- and that was all that mattered.

"I told him I could walk myself in, but he wouldn't hear it." She flashed a weak smile at her team, and took Nick's arm as he offered it to her. The trio made their way towards the coffin baring Jesse Sidle, standing to the side of it as the bearers lowered it onto the raised table in the centre of the hall. The four men that had carried Jesse in were employees of the funeral home, as he'd had no other friends or family. They each nodded at Sara as a sign of respect, and left the small group to themselves. Sara released Nick and Grissom, placing her uninjured hand on the coffin and tracing the smooth wood with her fingertips. She didn't seem capable of crying, even now.

It had been touch and go for a little while; surgeons had operated on Sara for nearly six hours before they had managed to cease the bleeding in her thoracic cavity. She had her scars, and would bear them forever, but she took hope in the fact that she had not died. It hadn't been her day.
As soon as she had regained consciousness, she had asked that they hold a funeral for her brother. The team hadn't entirely understood her wishes, which was no more than she had expected, but they had done as she'd asked and organised the whole thing while she recovered in a hospital bed.

Sara was still getting used to the idea that they were all aware of her traumatic past now. She had tried so hard for so long to keep her cards close to her chest, only to have them laid bare without her consent. None of them had spoken of it, but their knowledge seemed to hang in the air like a canopy of billowing smoke. She didn't want their pity; she had never wanted their pity, and she certainly didn't want to be treated any differently now. She was still the same person, despite everything she had been through, but the dynamic of the relationships between her and the rest of the team had shifted, and it saddened her.

Sara continued to stroke the coffin, deep in thought. Her brother had died a long time ago. The man laid to rest in this wooden box was not the boy who she had grown up with, the boy who had tried so hard to protect her from their father. He was an entirely different entity, one that had been morphed by heartache and trauma that Sara had managed to leave behind and he had not.

On the end of his casket was a little bronze plaque. It stated his name, and a quote that Sara had asked to be inscribed upon it- 'The wound is the place where the light enters you'. It had seemed fitting. The wound that had killed Jesse had released him from his burdens, and the wound that had very nearly ended Sara's own life had released her from her brother. Light or dark, good or evil, he had been her protector and her destroyer both. She could never forget either side to him no more than she could forget her past, but just as she felt no heartbreak, she felt no anger either. She was a blank page, unable to tell what her next emotion might be.
She could live with that, for now.

"I'm sorry, Jess," She murmured quietly, stepping back from the coffin. "I love you." The body would be cremated, and she thought she might scatter the ashes where he could be carried by the wind, flow through the breeze and be released in death as he had never been in life.

They all walked away from the funeral home together, supporting Sara in her physical pain and the grief that might yet come. The day was beautiful; bright and clear, and she raised her face towards the warmth from the sun's rays.

She had a way to go, and she knew that she wouldn't feel so peaceful for long. But for now, she was content to be with her family, her real family, and that would be enough for now.

The End.

A/N: As if I could kill Sara.

I've said it before, I know, but I wanted to thank you guys for all the support you've given me. Reading the positive comments has uplifted my spirits, and I'm ever so thankful for it.
I'm thinking about doing a sequel, what do you think? I feel like I've just scraped the surface of Sara's feelings with this short epilogue, and I've seen a couple of mentions of GSR which I'd like to explore as well. There's scope for it, I'm sure.
I've also started writing another story, equally as dark, and I'm pretty happy with it so far. I just can't seem to leave poor Sara and her team in peace.

Thanks, guys. Take care.