Chapter Ten: Wistfulness

Haru took a generous bit of salad next to her tuna sandwich, adding a sugar cookie and glass of water to her lunch. All her meals were included in her scholarship, so the plump cook in charge of the girls' meals waved her past the register while making a mark in a small notepad. She nodded politely to the matronly woman, and started looking for a table to sit at.

Unfortunately, Neko-sensei had held her back after class to discuss her 'special' lessons, since she was obviously way ahead of the other students, so there were no empty tables. She approached one table, the girls falling silent as she drew closer.

"May I sit here?" Haru asked politely.

"Sorry, this is a private discussion," a red-headed girl almost snapped at her, turning her head sharply to her companions so that she wouldn't have to look at Haru anymore. All four girls had been the ones wearing blue from before, declaring them to be just beneath her in ballet.

Haru flinched slightly from the tone, but sighed. "Have a nice day, then." She walked away, only to find identical behavior at every table she approached. She made a complete circle of the cafeteria, her heart sinking lower and lower until it felt like it had fallen into one of her feet. There were a few girls that looked guilty as they turned away, but that only hurt a little less than an outright refusal.

Before she knew it, she was standing next to the cook again, sharply biting her lip so that her face would remain calm and composed. 'What am I supposed to do? Apologize to everyone for being a better dancer?' That just reeked of egotism, and would probably just make them hate her more.

"Is something wrong, Haru-sama?" the friendly older woman asked with concern.

She opened her mouth to say yes, but then stopped herself. She would not force her will on anyone, and she was not about to bring the cook into it like a pouting child would. "Are we allowed to eat outside?" she asked instead, feeling hopeful. "I promise to bring back all the dishes if it's all right."

The cook looked at her, but smiled a little. "Certainly, Haru-sama. Just be sure to watch the clock in the tower, so you're not late for your next class."

Haru bowed thankfully, and walked out of the room with her shoulders squared and her stride long and true. She would not leave like she was being driven out. She wanted to eat outside.

Maybe if she got lucky, one of her stalkers would finally approach her so she could get some answers.

She walked around the grounds, making sure to pick a spot where the girls in the cafeteria wouldn't be able to see her.

Eventually, she found a white gazebo, made completely of stone. It was nestled comfortably between two trees that were covered with tiny white flowers.

'Almond trees. This place should be just fine.' She sighed again, and set her tray on the cold steps. She sat down next to it, taking care to smooth out her puffy skirt so that it wouldn't expose anything more than it already was. She set the tray on her lap, and slowly began stabbing her salad with a fork so she could eat it.

"How was I to know they were going to just watch instead of telling me class was starting?" she muttered softly to herself between bites of lettuce. Once that was gone, she ate the sandwich, washing it down her throat with the entire glass of water. She looked at the cookie, but found that she didn't want it, after all.

Setting the tray aside, she brought her knees closer so that she could wrap her arms around them, sighing sadly. "What were those girls expecting, anyway? They knew someone reasonably good was going to get the scholarship. Why give me the hostile lockdown?"

"Quack?"

Haru looked over her shoulder in surprise, noticing the duck from the night before, sitting on a stone banister about a foot over her head. The yellow bird was cocking her head at the human, confused about something Haru couldn't guess at.

She smiled, and stood up so that she could rub the duck's head again. "How did you know I needed to see a friendly face?" she asked, sharply rubbing one sleeve over her eyes so that no tears would be seen.

The duck quacked again, hopping onto her shoulder to wrap one tiny wing around the back of Haru's head in a compromised hug.

The brunette gently brushed the bird's feathers as she sat down again, still feeling miserable. "Do you ever get the feeling that everyone's in on a big joke, and you're not going to find out what it is until it's too late?"

The duck looked at her sadly, and nodded once.

Haru sighed again, brushing away more tears before they could burst from her watering eyes. "You know what, little one? There are days when I think I wasn't supposed to be born a human. I've always gotten along better with cats and even birds. I don't know why; I just connect better with them." She looked up to the perfectly clear sky, wishing she could know what to do.

"I swear I wasn't showing off this morning. I was just trying out a new style after a stupid nightmare woke me up too early again."

The duck's head snapped upwards, and her tiny wings fell to her sides with shock. "Quack?! Quack quack quack quack!"

"Calm down, little one," Haru attempted to say, giggling at the duck's reaction. "I can't understand a word you're saying, remember?"

The little bird looked extremely irritated, and she quacked darkly under her breath.

"Hold on, maybe I can guess it." Haru held one fist to her chin, thinking a bit. "Something about that sentence disturbed you?"

"Quack!" the duck answered while nodding.

"Showing off?"

"Quack!" No.

"The new style?"

Another no.

"The nightmare?"

"Quack!" A rather enthusiastic yes.

Haru stared at the duck, taking it from her shoulder in order to hold her between her hands. "You… want to know about my nightmare?"

The duck nodded slowly, to make sure that the brunette could understand the action. She patted one of Haru's hands while quacking again, her tone pleading with the girl.

Haru groaned, sitting back a bit. "It's a bit personal. It was about my dad."

The duck seemed a little disappointed by the subject, but she wouldn't stop quacking at the slim brunette until she elaborated.

Haru sighed again. "I… never really had a good relationship with him. I tried my hardest to be a good daughter, I really did, but… it was never enough for him. As terrible as it sounds, I'm happiest when I forget that he ever existed. It's a lot easier than admitting that…"

She couldn't even finish her sentence. The familiar stab shot through her heart like an arrow, violently enough to make her grab the front of her shirt with one hand as a gasp of pain escaped her throat. Tears escaped her eyes as the duck quacked again with panic. She patted the girl's wrist, but Haru couldn't even look at her anymore.

She felt so ashamed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even mentioned it. Thank you for listening to me," Haru said quickly while gently setting the bird on the stone step, and picking up the tray in order to walk away. But she stopped right before leaving, and picked up the neglected remains of her lunch. "Do you like sugar cookies?"

The duck was quacking at her violently, waving her little wings around in a frantic manner.

Haru was pretty sure that the cute bird didn't care about the cookie right now, but she really didn't want to finish her earlier sentence.

"Well, here it is if you change your mind," she said softly, crumbling the cookie between her fingers so that it dissolved into a neat pile of sugary crumbs next to the bird. She kissed the duck on the forehead gently, and turned around quickly to start jogging back to the cafeteria with her tray's remaining contents.

The duck was still staring after the girl when a figure emerged from a nearby bush.

He brushed a few spare leaves from one sleeve, his expression strangely soft. He walked to the gazebo, and gently set the duck on his lap. "You know, Ahiru? I don't think you're the only one that needs help."

The duck nodded sadly, and started quacking insistently.

"Don't worry," Fakir laughed gently, holding her close. "I'll approach her as soon as I can. Rue's losing patience with me, too."

ooOoo

It wasn't hard to see how her two years at Kinkan Academy were going to be. The students hated or avoided her, the teachers she had adored her, and she was given enough homework to keep her busy in between classes and sleeping.

A perfect definition of 'teacher's pet'.

Haru made her way back up the stone staircase after dinner, which she had eaten at a table alone, feeling exhausted. She didn't even have all that much homework, but her one-sided conversation with the little duck had left her feeling weak.

That was the closest she had ever come to telling anyone how she felt about her father, and she still didn't know why the yellow bird had been able to get her to talk. Her mother had tried to get her to speak up, so many times…

Haru sighed yet again, slipping her silver key into the lock. She was about to open the door, but then stopped cold. She looked at her hand, which was resting on the sturdy wood that stood between her and her room. She fingered the grain a little more, stunned at how familiar it felt to her.

'This feels like Baron's wooden form. It must be the same type of wood he was made from. What is Baron made out of?' Haru sighed, and pushed her door open. "I can't seem to forget about you, can I?"

Another package was waiting for her on the bed, along with a note.

A little miffed, since she was certain that she had locked the window and door tightly, she stormed over to her bed, and tore open the note.

My fair lady-

Your father never knew what he had. That fool didn't deserve to have a jewel like you in his miserable life. The sooner you forget about him, the better.

Again, no name was present, but Haru felt a little better after reading the flowing calligraphy. She carefully set the note next to the first one, and turned her attention to the small paper-wrapped package that was sitting patiently on the silken comforter.

She pulled away the tan paper to reveal a breathtaking crystal comb, set with tiny jewels arranged to look like flowers along the spine. She inhaled slightly, having never seen a thing so beautiful before in her life. It looked like a piece of intricately carved ice.

"At least he knows better than to send mice," Haru said numbly as she moved to a small vanity, and sat in front of it. A tired young woman sat in front of her, her dark eyes strangely excited as she raised the comb to her short brown hair.

But then her mother's voice returned to her without warning.

"… so the wicked queen disguised herself as an old hag, taking many wares with her to the seven dwarves' cottage. Among the items in her basket was a lovely comb, which she had anointed with poison."

The crystal teeth hovered over her hair as she hesitated, remembering the morbid fairy tale. "No," she whispered, trying to laugh off her fear. "That sort of thing doesn't happen in real life."

But giant anteaters did?! As well as talking crocodiles that took ballet?!

'The sooner you forget about him, the better.'

Haru decided not to chance it. She set the delicate comb next to the mirror, and crossed her arms over the vanity in order to rest her head on them. She stared at the comb, and then at her reflection.

Seeing the two together made her feel silly. Yes, the comb was perhaps the most beautiful thing she had ever received in her life. It was so beautiful… she couldn't even wear it. Even when she wasn't sleep-deprived, she was merely pretty, and that was when she was in a good mood. If she could trust her unseen admirer enough to try it on, the effect would have been ludicrous. It wouldn't have really suited her.

"Maybe I can string it from the window so it can cast rainbows on the walls," she giggled, feeling a bit better than she had when entering the room. She moved to her writing desk, did her homework, and took a shower before getting ready for bed.

All the while, she thought about her mysterious suitor. The gifts and letters made it pretty clear that the admirer was a high-standing feline gentleman, but who? She hadn't really met any of the noblemen in Lune's kingdom when she visited it almost a year ago.

She immediately rejected the idea of it being Baron because one; she'd have known his scent, two; she'd have recognized the handwriting, and three; he didn't think of her that way.

Out of all the reasons Haru came up with, she hated that last one the most.

She yawned while turning off the bedside lamp, a little sad that her feathered friend hadn't dropped by tonight. "I'll give that cat one more day to show himself. Then I'm getting a guard dog."

Wait. Dogs hated her, and vice versa long before her adventure to the Cat Kingdom. Oh shoot, how was she supposed to protect herself from someone that wouldn't even reveal himself?

"Dang it, why can't Baron ever stalk me?" she pouted as slumber claimed her once more.