I don't think this is my best chapter yet, but it explains how Asura is Anima. Sorry if the ending's a little rushed.
Anima's POV
Four Years Ago, Anima's Vestige
The victims had attacked and I, however selfishly, had done the only thing I could manage. I turned them into l'Cie, for it was all I could do. I, myself, was already branded with a Focus. Like the fal'Cie of Cocoon, I had a task; to destroy the floating shell.
And thus I had given my legacy; Ragnarok. But I wasn't happy. I'd seen their lives, seen the humans surviving on Cocoon, and knew. They did not deserve to die. But still, as a fal'Cie, I had no choice but to continue with my Focus.
And yet I felt guilt, guilt for the blood spilt in my name. Who was I to give others death?
Then I remembered the myth. As my Vestige was falling, and I had no hope of anything left, I remembered. A fal'Cie could turn to a human form, if they were willing to give up much of their powers, not all by a long way, but a great deal. I could turn into a human being, permanently, if I had to. But, in that form, I'd be weak. I'd have a little of my old powers, but I'd be little more than a strong l'Cie.
It was my only chance of survival and really, I relished it. The Maker had given us the ability to transform to the other of Her creations: humanity. Now, on the verge of death, I felt the necessity of it. My Focus would be lost, along with my fal'Cie form, but I would at last experience that which fal'Cie had sought after. Mortality.
We were immortal, unless we met our end by the blade of a l'Cie or human, but no one wished to die through violence. If I was willing however, to become human permanently, unlike that pretender Barthendelus, I could suffer my penance, and at long last, die.
I'd lived too long. What fal'Cie could not say the same?
And so, I did what I had to, not merely to experience the sensations of humanity, but as my only chance to live-how ironic, living for the purpose of dying in peace-past the demise of my Vestige.
I drew what energy I could from the shell, feeling it turn to crystal, as I focused on a form. I needed some body, some body to fabricate and live in. A human body.
I already had a template, I remembered. Two Gran Pulsians had slumbered near me for centuries: I could recall even the slightest detail of their forms.
Oerba Dia Vanille and Oerba Yun Fang.
Think of them. Remember them. Carve their very imprints into your genes Anima. No, not Anima. I was…Asura.
I opened my barely present mouth to scream, agony ripping through me as my body fell away, breaking and cracking, and my new vessel rippled and moulded itself, changing.
A new life, with the two l'Cie remembered in my shining, artificially organic body. Indistinguishable from any bother human's, though I still possessed an echo of my former powers. Like a l'Cie, a l'Cie without a brand.
"I am Asura" I spoke my first words with the human mouth, the edges of my lips curling upwards as I heard my own accent. High pitched, a lot more than I used to be.
Asura's POV
Cocoon City
"You see" I was standing now, looking down at the sitting Hope; I was showing him my memories by putting the images straight in his head. Fal'Cie smoke and mirrors. A tear fell down my cheek. "Asura was, is, a lie, a fabrication. I created her just as a vessel. How else would I have lived?"
"I don't believe that and you don't" Hope stood up, stepping closer to me. I moved back. "Asura lived for years" he continued, "you can't tell me that means nothing. She is as real as you or me"
"She wouldn't exist if it wasn't for fear" I shot back, recounting the events.
Anima's POV
Lake Bresha, Four Years Ago
I got to my feet, stumbling over the slippery ground. Ice? No, the feel was all, wrong, crystal? That was more like it. Had I done that? Had the rest of my body turned to crystal when I transformed? I hadn't heard of a fal'Cie turning to crystal after death before. It might've been my transformation I suppose.
"Hello, Asura" I spoke the words, trying to get used to this new form. I took note of a distorted reflection in the crystal; my hair was the same shade as Fang's, but it was styled like Vanille's, and my eyes were the same piercing green as Vanille's also. A blend of the two of them. How quaint.
I felt around my body, glad to notice I'd successfully fabricated clothing. Yet again, a fusion of Vanille and Fang. I wore a version of Fang's sari, coloured like Vanille's. I unclipped the bracelets that were jangling up and down my arms. I didn't quite know how Vanille stood it; they could be very annoying.
What else did I have? I closed my eyes, trying to figure out this new form. My hair felt odd; I guess the two colours hadn't mixed properly. I tried to conjure up a mirror before cursing myself; I lost that power. What abilities did I have?
I focused, seeing what I could actually manage. My hand rolled limply, wrist twirling. Nothing. Whew, guess that kind of magic was out of the question. I brought my hand down in a chopping motion, gasping as I hit the cool crystal. That didn't work.
So, recap. I was human, body wise at least, and I had none of my powers. Sounds fun.
"Be prepared for your new life" I told my reflection, brushing the patches of orange hair I had at the side of my head. This body could take a while to get used to. And what was with the hair? I couldn't get one constant colour, no, that would be too simple. Instead I get Fang's black with Vanille's shade of orange splashed over the sides like some mad halo.
Far above me, I could see the Hanging Edge burn, much wrecked by PSICOM, and much harmed by me. Some of it was crystal, but most of it was still whatever material it used to be. Flawed, damaged. I was glad I'd constructed this new form down here; I wouldn't want to be up there. Especially when I'd given myself such ridiculous hair.
Five people were falling. I did a double take, focusing in on them. Yes, five people. I recognized them; they were the ones who I'd branded.
"No!" the word was ripped from my lips, unwillingly, and without thinking I reached out with one hand. My reach was pitifully inadequate: still almost kilometres away, but I felt a sudden drain of energy, and I fell to my knees. But somehow I felt satisfied.
Was that my magic now? Had I saved the five of them, out of pity? Did human emotions give rise to my fal'Cie power?
Oh Maker, you have such a sense of humour. To be like I used to be, I must further continue to be human.
Perhaps she saw. Yeah, she had to: couldn't miss it.
The voice pealed in my head. I turned around, to see a tallish man skid down the crystal slope.
"Hey there!" he called. He sounded cheerful, but I had the overwhelming sense of something hidden, untrustworthy.
"What did you say just now?" I spoke too quickly; literally, I garbled my words. I spoke again, trying to sound clearer. God, I wasn't used to this, and with this man, this frankly scary man…
I felt like a child. Well, I suppose I was. New body, new life. New everything. A new world, covered in new crystal. And a new Ragnarok too. Guilt washed over me for the Focus I had given the five I'd just saved.
"I didn't say anything" the man looked at me oddly and, though his voice was slow and formal, I didn't have it in me to trust him.
Was that another ability of mine? Excluding my emotionally charged magicks, did I have some superhuman fal'Cie instinct?
That's odd. What did she think I said? And what is it with her hair?
"Stop it" I groaned, "Yes, my hair's ridiculous. I didn't choose it"
"What?" the man looked at me, his eyes widening. I felt a spike of charged anger shoot from him.
Who is she kidding?
Then I noticed. His lips weren't moving.
Real subtle Asura, just go and read a stranger's mind to convince the world you're a normal human. Man… Odd, I thought the word as a punishment, but a necessity, a while ago, now I would've done anything to possess what they called humanity.
I was Asura, not Anima.
"Look, can we begin again?" I sighed, exasperated.
Odd.
I didn't reply to his thoughts.
"That would be a good idea. So, how long have you been here?" the stranger asked
"Quite a while, you?"
"Plenty of time. Heard about a commotion up in Bodhum, some fal'Cie unearthed. I had to see it for myself, but I guess I won't get the chance now" he gestured up to the flaming Hanging Edge.
"Mm" I nodded, not trusting myself to speak
"Did you see Anima die?"
"W-what?" I stuttered at his abrupt question. He knew my- no, he knew the fal'Cie's name?
"Did you see Anima die? Oh come on, you didn't think you were the only Gran Pulsian who snuck a ride through a transgate, did you?"
"I guess" I murmured, shaky. I guess the blend of accents I had did make it obvious. "I don't see how anything could survive that" I answered his first question. I didn't trust myself lying in this new body.
"Pity" the man mused. "I could've sworn something landed here."
"How did you get here?" the question stole past my lips, spurred on by this insatiable human curiosity
"Same way as you I imagine" he chuckled, "Stowed away in the stasis chambers on the Ark, warped through Cocoon via transgate. Wouldn't want to be seen. Tell you what though: whoever reactivated the Ark is planning something big. That is how you got here, right?"
"`Course" I nodded, the lie feeling obvious in my squeaky voice.
This man was from the Ark era? He'd been asleep all this time, right from when they'd built and hidden the Arks… I almost felt a pang of sympathy for the man, if I wasn't so inexplicably repulsed.
I tried to see what I could remember about the Arks. They were armouries, preserved weapons and beasts for some future war. The entire contents of the Arks were put into a variant on crystal stasis, to be reawaken by someone at a later date. I guess someone had done just that.
"What's your name?" the man lifted my chin with a hooked finger, peering into my eyes with an almost scientific curiosity.
"A-Asura" I almost gave the wrong name, but I didn't, not quite.
"Interesting" the man let my head drop. "I'm Garmr, from Methu Pulse as you can tell. And I've heard of an Asura. It was the archaic name for the fal'Cie known as Anima. And I've heard of the rumours; fal'Cie that could turn human. So, Asura" Garmr stepped closer, roughly gripping my shoulder, digging his fingers into my flesh, and yanking my chin until he was glaring in my eyes. "Are you Anima?"
"I grunted, a shriek sounding like it came from a wounded animal came from my throat, and Garmr took a few steps back.
"You need physical contact to brand me" he spat, glaring back at me, "but I guess that answers my question" he laughed, almost madly.
"Once a Methu Pulsian" Garmr let out a smooth breath, reaching down the side of his skirt-like robes, "always a Methu-Pulsian" he withdrew his hand, clasping a thin, curved, lethal looking blade about as long as my new forearm.
Garmr took one step towards me. Unthinkingly, I thrust both my arms out forwards, fingers splayed.
The effect was instant, and pretty dramatic. Garmr was lifted up several metres from the ground, and flung back over hills made from the crystal. He flew over the land, until he hit the ground at some unseen distance.
This was what my emotions could do? I didn't know whether to be happy or scared. I had no control over it: and what would that mean? In this body, anything could drive me over the edge. Then, bang. Fal'Cie magic restored for a second, an explosion of force.
No.
I didn't want that. Perhaps there was some way to suppress the power?
I was scared, I'd be the first person to admit that, but I couldn't let that distract me. There had to be some way to prevent these bursts of emotion shattering my control over fal'Cie skills.
I frowned, just remembering. Garmr. When I first heard him, he hadn't been speaking. I'd read his mind; I knew that instinctively. Did that mean I was telepathically attuned or something bizarre like that? I could affect minds?
I'd heard about that, in rumours, most from the distant past, some even before the Methu Pulsian era. Some fal'Cie could edit a person's memories, in a way similar to how they gave Foci. The vision after being branded, it was some psychic afterimage of the Focus. Some fal'Cie could channel this energy, editing the minds and memories of a person. Had my transformation into a human form made me better at it?
A reptilian looking puffed up frog creature hopped past. More out of curiosity than anything, I reached out to it and lightly touched its side. My emotions weren't running high right now, but then again I was pretty calm when I read Garmr's mind. I guess some abilities I could access without being mad.
A few wisps of energy escaped through my fingers. I felt a sudden pang of guilt as I saw a series of black arrows form on the scaled skin. I'd branded it with the mark of a l'Cie. Yet another life ruined.
"No" I whispered, brushing my fingers over the mark. A dull pounding started in my head, lasting a few seconds, but as I took my hand away, the brand had gone.
I guess I could give and take brands.
Maybe it would work on other l'Cie, even if they were branded by other fal'Cie. Yes, that was a task, something to do. A new Focus. How ironic.
Asura's POV
Cocoon City
"You see?" I fell to the floor, expecting Hope to hate me. He had to; after all, it was me who branded him, me who branded his friends. I was the one who killed his mother, not Snow as he'd thought.
"I don't know what you're trying to prove." Hope sighed, slumping next to me. I made a move to scramble away, but he grabbed my wrist with his hand, restraining me with insistent gentleness.
"I'm not who you think I am" I gave up trying to move away, and instead settled a metre or so away from Hope, arm still held by him.
"Prove it"
"What?" I frowned, turning
"I remember what Anima used to look like. Turn into that"
"I…I can't. The transformation was permanent"
"So, what you're saying is, you're human"
"In body only. My mind is fal'Cie"
"It wasn't ten minutes ago"
"It was, can't you understand that? How do you think I saved your dad? How do you think I got out of that Cocoon rally where we first met? By being fal'Cie"
"Really?" Hope seemed almost challenging
"Yes, really"
"Then why were you so upset at the paper that said Shor'ack?"
"Because…that was my mind. It used to be me, it is no longer me"
"There's one thing though" Hope murmured; "everyone from Pulse woke up once we defeated Orphan, but how? Fang and Vanille didn't wake up."
"So?"
"It was you, wasn't it? Dysley read our Foci even though he wasn't the one who branded us. Fal'Cie seem to have some control over the other brands, and you managed to save the reptile thing you branded"
"What if I did? Alright, so I helped the crystallized l'Cie breathe again. The fact I did that shows you that I'm not like you. I can't be"
"Name one fal'Cie who'd save billions of l'Cie."
"I…"
Anima's POV
Four years ago, CrystalPoint
Stunning.
The l'Cie had completed the Focus I'd reluctantly given them, and still found a way to save Cocoon. The two oldest l'Cie, oh how well I remembered them, were now frozen eternally, supporting Cocoon with their own crystalline bodies.
But now…
The four others were around me, like scattered shards of a broken toy. They were crystal, like to many others I'd saved.
Sazh, still posing with guns pointing towards a now lost foe, blank eyes focusing on thin air. His chocobo was perched, still alive, on his crystal afro.
Hope, boomerang dropped and resting by his feet, as he stood still, almost serene, watching the crystal support of Cocoon through glassy eyes. One hand was on his heart, the other by his side, as he watched, and yet didn't see, the inhabitants of Cocoon be evacuated.
Snow was standing simply, arms hung down by his sides, eyes closed, wishing and wanting the ordeal to soon be over. Serah's crystal tear was firmly clasped in his right hand.
And finally, the reserved and yet compassionate leader, Lightning. She had her hair whipped over her face, frozen peacefully, while she looked to the skies.
For the first time since I had this body, a tear fell down my face, sliding over my cheek. I had done this.
"Forgive me" I whispered. This was all my fault.
There was one way I could repay them though: I still had a connection to all my l'Cie, even those in crystal sleep.
"Speak, say what you have to" I murmured, tearful, as I touching the back of Lightning's crystal.
Vanille and Fang spoke through me, saying what they had to. I didn't know if they'd get another chance.
And, with that last wish fulfilled, I inhaled deeply, and ran off. I didn't want them to see me, or find me, now I'd freed them. I blamed myself for this, but I couldn't bear to feel another's blame. Odd. Perhaps a quirk of the human mind.
I fell to my knees, sobbing, at a great distance. With just a thought I did what I could for one last gift, one last apology. Serah and Dajh. The emotions coursing through me at that moment were enough to free most of the l'Cie on this landmass, but I made sure to save those two. One of the many things I would have to do, to repent.
Serah, Dajh, be free.
I fell to the ground, lying face down in the dirt. I had done this… These emotions were unbearable, but I'd put myself through them. I'd survive. I had to.
"How touching" a voice sneered.
I turned my head a little, not to get up, but just enough to speak. "Garmr" I murmured as I saw him.
"I was certain, and right, as always. You are Anima"
"I…yes" I sat up, still crying for my sins
"Don't cry, fal'Cie cannot feel. It looks like we'll need you after all"
"You…" I scrambled away from him, hitting the ground often as I tried to get to my feet. Garmr followed with ease.
"You know you can't escape. I am but one." He was walking at a slightly accelerated pace now, moving faster than my awkward gallop.
"I can try" a replied, feeling the hopelessness of my escape but continuing with it nonetheless.
"Perseverance? That's so unlike you, Anima" Garmr chuckled, "You're becoming more and more human. Well, with that body, who's surprised? Let's see how you fare with different odds. Surtr!" he shouted the last word.
They came out of the trees and earth, like shadows, people concealed immeasurably well in the dirt and vegetation. The Surtr, if Garmr's call was right. Fear spurred my legs on, and I managed to get to my feet, still moving awkwardly. It was meant to take years to learn how to walk; I'd only been human for weeks. Still didn't have the hang of it.
"Stop her" Garmr's voice was more even now, calm, assured. I still hated it; I could feel the malice behind it.
I weaved past a pair of the Surtr, ducked under another, before I tripped over another's leg. Sprawling across the ground, I squirmed, pulling myself ahead before I felt a gloved hand grip my ankle.
"Gloves don't manage much" I muttered, concentrating. The woman recoiled as if burned, and I knew that now, on her wrist, was the mark of a l'Cie. Her Focus: to take one more breath. I saw her turn to crystal, less than a second after she recoiled.
"Crystal?" Garmr seemed almost amused; "Aren't you fal'Cie supposed to make Cie'th?"
"Don't tempt me" I got up again, watching the Surtr recoil as I reached out for them.
They were scared of becoming l'Cie.
"Unlike you" I turned to Garmr, "I have a heart" I made an odd gesture with my hand, just for the sake of it really, and brought the crystalline Surtr woman back to life, with no brand. She looked at me, slightly amazed, before I turned away. I was heading for the Cocoon refugees, maybe I'll have a home there, somehow.
A sharp pain pierced the back of my neck. I slapped my hand onto it, feeling a small dart of some kind. I yanked it out, screaming slightly as I did so. A ripple of energy passed out of me with that cry, and the Surtr recoiled, Garmr holding a blowpipe of some kind.
This wasn't going to end. As long as I was Anima they'd keep coming after me, for whatever I could do, and I didn't want to kill them. I was no fal'Cie, not any more.
That's when I made the decision. I was Asura, not Anima. So why not live like that?
Another stabbing pain hit my shoulder, and I fell to the ground, some sort of drug coursing through my system. I did my best to hold it off, but failed. Human body; human weaknesses, frailties.
The last thing I saw as I closed my eyes was Garmr, as he reached towards me.
Asura's POV
Cocoon City
"You're telling me one thing, but your past is saying another" Hope sighed, as he finished reliving my memories.
"What do you mean?" I frowned, trying to ply my arm out from his grasp.
"You're telling me that you're a fal'Cie, when you're body is human and you did everything you could to become more human."
"You said it: to become human. It means I'm not"
"It means you weren't: you are now"
"I'm not! I wish I was but I'm not, I won't be. Keep saying whatever you want hope, it doesn't change the fact I'm a fal'Cie"
"Who's saying that, Anima or Asura?"
"A-" I stopped, mid-word. Who was talking?
"You say you can read minds?" Hope's voice was softer now.
"Mm" I nodded, at last succeeding it getting my hand out of his grasp.
"Read mine"
I looked at Hope, frowning.
I don't care who or what you are. You'll always be Asura to me.
"Oh, Hope" my head collapsed into my hands.
Anima's POV
Four years ago, near Crystal Point
Garmr and the Surtr had captured me about a week ago, and I hadn't tried to escape. Penance for all those lives I'd trapped, but Garmr was still trying to control me, using transgates to warp to Cocoon and steal from Sanctum research facilities.
He wanted me to do something, but he hadn't told me what yet and frankly, it was getting annoying.
"They're building a city, you know" Garmr sat outside my cell. Along with the rest of the Surtr, they'd made a hideaway in an old mining tunnel, using the miners' quarters as a prison cell for me. The door was made of bars alone, and firmly locked. The rest of my cell was a thin mattress, pale, dirty walls and a light emanating from outside the room.
"Who are?" I sighed back at Garmr, not changing position: I was lying on the bed, facing the dirty ceiling.
"Cocoon pets." He said the words with a savage hate, "They're not too far from here." He paused, expectantly. "Holy Pulse, you have changed haven't you? A month ago and you'd have gone after the city, with your without your full powers" he laughed
"You need me for something" I wasn't in the mood for games. "What?"
"You don't beat around the bush. You'll just have to see: I don't think you'd obey us given your current mood, so we'll have to find some way to make you obey. Until then, stay put" he gave a small, sinister smile from through the bars.
"I could stop you, you know"
"Yeah? And how's that?" he stuck a hand through the bars. I seized the moment, leaping and touching his palm, focusing on branding him.
"Won't work" he laughed: "thought you'd try something again, so I brought a little something" he took out a cracked piece of crystal. "this comes from the crystal supports around Cocoon, your l'Cie. Their aura is protecting me and every other Surtr from your magic."
"That's only one thing I could do" I sighed, leaning back and sitting, knees pulled up to my chin, by the bed.
"What else do you intend to try?"
"Well, I could always change my memories so I'm completely human. You need my fal'Cie powers for whatever you're planning, so that'll stop you"
"True enough, but if you change in there then you'll never get out. We'll have as long as we need to find a way to get you to wake up again, and once we do that we'll have also discovered a way to control you. The pet scientists up in Cocoon do have a few good tricks"
"Hee, didn't think so" an odd giggle passed my lips
"What is it?" Garmr seemed on guard.
"I can't brand you. I can brand something else though2 I giggled a little, again.
"What?" Garmr stood up, looking around for spell-casting insects or something.
I showed my forearm to him. "Me."
It had taken me the last week to make; an approximation of my l'Cie brand, inked on using the dye in the mattress, my clothes and a little ash from burning the mattress on one frustrated night. From Garmr's distance, it was indistinguishable from the real thing.
But here was the tougher part of the plan.
Garmr walked into the cell, rushing over to me. He seemed concerned, afraid he'd lose his trump card. I concentrated on him, recalling every detail of his appearance and focusing on the revulsion I felt in his thoughts, behind each of his words…
The floor below me cracked, opening up, and sand trickled through, from distant sources and near alike. I was surrounded by a blinding light, one so bright Garmr stopped several steps away. The plan was working; so far, so good. I felt the sand form a shell around me, hugging my form, and I summoned all the other elements I need to make this realistic. Once I was done, I called upon a sheet of flame, running over me. The heat was slightly too hot for comfort, but just about bearable. Until…
I closed my eyes; I couldn't see out anyway. I'd constructed a shell of glass, tinted glass so that I wasn't visible within. The shades of clear and blue made it indistinguishable from a true crystal stasis. And there was a thin hole between two fingers; an air hole, so I could breathe.
Now I just had to hope Garmr would lug my façade crystal out of here before I died of thirst. Good work so far, Asura!
Asura's POV
Cocoon City
"Now that's a good one!" Hope laughed, sitting back on an axel. "You tricked him into thinking you were a l'Cie, and put yourself in a fake crystal just to escape? We should've thought of that!"
"I wouldn't advise it" I smiled a little at his cheerfulness, "Very uncomfortable. I was in there for about a day, getting bored out of my head."
"What happened next? I'm curios now" Hope moved over to me, taking my hand in his. I focused, sending him the thoughts and images again.
Anima's POV
Four years ago, Cocoon City Outskirts
"Idiot!" some nameless Surtr fumed outside, kicking my glass/crystal tomb. Was it almost time to escape? I hoped so, it was getting stuffy.
"You go then. I can handle this myself" Garmr sighed. I felt my faux crystal roll down some hill, followed by a thump as I landed, and a thump as something landed on top of me. I opened my eyes, to see something black, blurred through the glass shell, spread over me. He was burying me!
"Ragnarok" I heard Garmr state, in some kind of speech. "Come day of wrath, O Pulse l'Cie, embrace thy fate, thine home to burn" I couldn't bear to hear any more of Garmr's speech.
I felt the sick fear, a human worry, envelope me, and I used that to my advantage, feeling magic surge through me. The crystal shattered, and I clambered out of the tomb, sprinting away. I turned momentarily, slightly thankful to see it was only Garmr pursuing me.
"Stop, Anima!" he shouted
"No!" I yelled back, scrabbling over the uneven ground. "My name is Asura!" I brought my right hand up, touching it to my forehead. Not the best circumstances for it, but I was struggling to run as it was. A little more distraction wouldn't hurt.
I skimmed trough my memories, taking my own memories of Oerba, along with Fang and Vanille's. I needed a past, so I threw one together quickly, not caring how historically accurate it was right now. Garmr was chasing me; not the best time to go through history.
I let out a gasp of relief as the fake memories were completed
. just one more thing to do; erase my own, replace them. Though I wouldn't be erasing them, just blocking them off. A strong emotion might break through the seal, like it was with my powers, but at the very least I'd be human for a while.
Human…
A felt a searing pain in the back of my neck as I fell to the ground. Garmr and his blowpipe.
I was already losing consciousness, but I wouldn't be the one to lose this battle. Not now; not ever. I'd beat Garmr on this point.
"My name is" I whispered weakly into the soil,, vision blurring. The memory transfer was almost complete.
"Asura" I whispered blissfully, before falling into a deep sleep.
Asura's POV
Cocoon City
"And?" Hope asked, frowning.
"That's it; you know the rest. My parents picked me up, well, adoptive parents. Skip forward four years and here we are"
"I still don't care"
I sighed, collapsing onto the axel next to him, "You're so stubborn"
But in truth, I couldn't blame him now. The trek through my memories had affected me as well; I saw how much I'd given up to become human, saw the sacrifices made. Why had I done all that, only to shatter at the return of my memory?
Was it… the question was what I'd dreamed, but it still hurt to think. Was it because I was human? Were those four years enough to make Asura a real human, someone in her own right, rather than a reflection of Anima?
In which case, who was I now? Asura or Anima? Or both, both minds in one body.
But that was wrong: there shouldn't be two people in one body. There could only be one: so one would have to relinquish control. I guess…
"Hope, who would you rather have?" I turned to him
"Huh?"
"Anima or Asura? I can seal off my memories again. There are two people in me; you showed me that, Hope, Anima the fal'Cie and Asura the human. Only one can really be alive at a time, and I need you to choose which"
"Do you need to ask?" Hope chuckled; "Asura, it's got to be Asura. That's who only ever really belonged in that body"
"I…I guess. Never thought of it that way" I smiled slightly.
"See: you're acting like her already!" Hope seemed triumphant almost. I locked eyes with him, faces, lips mere centimetres apart.
Oh, so hard to resist…
I rested two fingers lightly on his lips, and gently pushed him away. "Don't" I sighed, "I'm disgusted with myself right now. I lied to you"
"You're not back at that again are you?" Hope closed his eyes; "It wasn't a lie. Everything you said was true, for Asura"
"Thank you" I whispered, before collapsing down, landing by assisted accident in his arms.
My name is Asura, human. I am not Anima, fal'Cie, any more. Memories…gone.
I am Asura.
Hope's POV
A low voice in the distance started murmuring. Asura sat bolt up right.
"W-what happened?" she looked around, confused. She was back!
"Woke up then?" Lera paced back into the room, "Garmr said you should" she was murmuring something under her breath.
Asura slipped out of my arms, sitting on the axel next to me again.
"What'd you mean?" she asked. Her voice was higher now, giving me the last proof I needed that she was Asura now, and not Anima.
"Strong emotion; it looked like that just now. You passed out"
"She went back to normal" I replied, finally realizing what Lera was talking about. I tried to sound vague, for Asura's sake.
"You idiot!" Lera half shouted, glaring at me.
I froze.
Those words, spoken that specific way. I'd heard them before, in Asura's memories.
"You were with the Surtr" I murmured, slightly scared to tell the truth. Lera was lying. Her brother may have been Garmr, I didn't know, but one thing I could tell: she was still with the Surtr. She wanted Asura to wake up, for whatever reason they had. Lera was with the Surtr.
"Yes I was. Did she show you her real past? But to change back to a human, twice, that's bizarre, Garmr won't like that, so we'll have to change you back"
"What?" Asura looked from me to Lera, eyes wide. She didn't understand any of this.
"Shor'ack" Lera spat. The change in her features was remarkable; she'd gone from being calm, collected, to being pretty insane.
"What's that?" Asura looked strangely at Lera,
"Methu Pulsian, don't act like you don't understand"
"I…I don't speak that language" Asura sighed. She still looked a little disorientated from her memories being sealed off, but I guess it was understandable.
"Fear counts as a strong emotion" Lera sighed, "or sadness. Maybe I could kill Hope"
"What? No!" Asura leapt up, fighting off her dizziness. I stood up next to her, facing off with Lera.
She started laughing. "Oh, this is priceless!" she reached into her robe, taking out a short, curved knife.
"Ragnarok" she murmured, chanting almost as she stepped closer, "Come day of wrath, O Pulse l'Cie, embrace thy fate, thine home to burn" he moved closer, making Asura and I back up against the wall together, hands entwined.
"Ragnarok, deliver the divine" Lera gave a small, eerie smile as she lifted the knife.
Cliffhanger, much? Hee hee...
If anyone's wondering, the lyrics Garmr and Lera were chanting come from Ragnarok's Theme in FFXIII.