AN: Hey Guys! Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I have been working with an amazing beta Indeerah to go over the early chapters and we are working on way up to the present, so I have spent a lot of time rereading old chapters. This chapter has finally been edited and uploaded, thank god. I think it is so much more polished. Also every chapter from here on out will be the edited version because she is now fully caught up so yay! I hope that this extra long chapter will help make up for my extended absence. As always, love you all and I hope you enjoy it :)
Chapter 10
Harry was shocked when Malfoy agreed to come with him. Ten years ago he would have never believed that Draco Malfoy, his nemesis since entering the Wizarding world, would allow himself to fall under the protection of Harry Potter. If the situation wasn't so grave, he would use this as blackmail. Yet, as it were, the situation was grave. Harry was getting threats, felt like he was being followed, and was willingly harboring the one person that he knew for sure was a target. Harboring him for the second time in fact. Harry shook his head and sighed. Sometimes he hated the fact that he was a Gryffindor. Were he a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff – or heaven forbid, a Slytherin – he would have heeded the warning and not gone off to rescue a man he despised. Granted, he probably wouldn't have even landed himself in this situation were he anything but a Gryffindor. But, here he was, helping the insolent git pack his few belongings into bags before heading back to his godfather's home.
Oh, Sirius and Lupin. How was he going to mention this to them? They had been none too thrilled the last time he brought Malfoy back to their townhouse and something told him this was going to be no different. Realistically though, Grimmauld Place was his only option. The wards there were strong, even before the war. There was no other choice if he wanted to keep the bastard safe. As much as Harry had wanted rid of him throughout school, there was something about a world without the insufferable ass that just seemed wrong. Luckily, Lupin wouldn't be home right now. Generally, when it was this close to a full moon, Remus would make himself scarce. Harry wasn't sure where he went, but he respected his mentor's privacy enough to not ask. No, it would just be Sirius that Harry had to deal with initially, and it was much easier to get his godfather to see things his way than anyone else.
Shaking his head, he focused on helping Malfoy pack. Harry had initially suggested they not take much, which earned him a sneer in response, and now he knew why. Not taking much would be easy seeing as there wasn't much here. Some books, a small dresser of clothes, and a handful of knick-knacks that he recognized from Professor Snape's classroom seemed to be all that was here. Harry couldn't help but frown at the realization. This small apartment, this little stuff, was a far cry from the high life he knew the other boy typically enjoyed. Though he did feel it was about time Malfoy be knocked down a few pegs, Harry knew better than most what it was like to live with less than a person needed. It was hard to believe that Draco Malfoy, darling of Slytherin, heir to the Malfoy throne, and spoiled brat would live like this on purpose. Though he decided to let the thought die wordlessly in his mind, if just to save the first and inevitable screaming match for later this afternoon.
A few minutes and a half dozen books later, he noticed that Malfoy was done. "Alright, ready to go?"
Malfoy nodded, and mumbled what sounded like a yes. Harry rolled his eyes at Malfoy's clear lack of enthusiasm. The tension in the air was nearly palpable, and he had to stop himself from groaning in response as they took their leave.
Upon arrival, Harry felt a general sense of tranquility, despite his companion, the second he walked through the front door. Something about being here, with the all too familiar smell of dust in the air and the floorboards whose every creak he knew by heart, felt like coming home. It certainly helped when they learned to silence the portrait of Sirius' mother and removed the elf heads from the walls. Yes, in the years since the war, this place had truly become the first real home he had ever had. The Dursley's always felt constricting and made him feel like he didn't belong, and even Hogwarts wasn't perfect, though it came close. There was something about having a safe place to come back to with people he loved that was unlike anything he had ever known. Today, it certainly helped make up for the fact that he was being forced by his own morals to bring a selfish, spoiled, prejudiced prat into his sanctuary.
"Well, this is it," Harry stated, flatly.
"I'm aware, I was here a few weeks ago, remember?" Draco said, punctuated with an exaggerated eye roll.
"Oh, yeah. Of course." Harry wished he had thought about his words before handing Malfoy a loaded gun. That's what you get for being lost in your own thoughts. "Well, why don't I give you the tour?" Even if he didn't like the situation, it couldn't hurt to at least try to get along. Merlin knows how long they were going to be stuck together.
"Oh yes, lets. Seems like a perfectly acceptable way to kill say—" Draco looked around, sizing up his surroundings, "—five minutes or so," He finished, nose high in the air.
Right. So I guess the getting along bit is out. "Whatever Malfoy, do you want to see where you are going to be staying until their isn't a target on your back or not?" Harry snapped, turning to walk up the stairs. Though his unwilling housemate huffed loudly at the comment, he simply gave a curt nod and followed Harry up the grand staircase lined with portraits. "You're going to be staying on the second floor. There's an empty room there and a bathroom across the hall. The first floor, as I'm sure you remember, contains the drawing room and a small potions kitchen, along with a bathroom. The floor above you is the master bedroom when Sirius lives, and Remus is in the bedroom next to that. I am going to be staying on the top floor. Normally that would be the guest room, but seeing as you will be here it looks like I'll be staying awhile so that my godfather doesn't have to babysit annoying Slytherins."
"And to think, I thought he would be used to it. At least the annoying part. Where are the Weasel and the Mudblood anyway? Don't feel like making fun of poor, pathetic Malfoy being saved by Saint Potter?" Draco asked, with narrowed eyes and voice dripping with contempt.
Harry cringed at the word, but otherwise ignored the nasty term.. He would not be baited. "They don't know you're here." If Malfoy was surprised, Harry wasn't sure because he refused to turn and see the other boy's face. They continued in silence until they reached the bedroom. Harry unceremoniously dropped Draco's bag on the floor. ":This will be your room. The ground floor has the formal dining room along with a study and the basement has the kitchen and informal dining area, as you also know. That's it, aside from a storage attic. Personally, I would just stick to this room, the bathrooms, the drawing room, and the kitchen. My godfather doesn't like people snooping."
"Don't worry, Potter. I have about as much interest in wandering these halls as I do in being/becoming a Hufflepuff."
Harry cracked a small smile despite himself. "Oh, and the washroom is at the end of the hall, first door on your left. You seem like you could use a shower." For some reason, thinking of this made his face immediately go scarlet. Draco had clearly noticed as he cocked his eyebrow up, the corners of his lips turning into a twisted smile. "Interesting of you to notice. I didn't peg The Boy Who Lived as a bloody ponce."
"Sod off Malfoy, I just meant you smell like piss." He knew his rebuttal sounded hollow, but he didn't care. Harry didn't bother to wait for a response before stalking out of the room, hearing the snickers follow him out the door. Any embarrassment he felt a minute before at the idea of Malfoy showering was instantly replaced with anger.
As Harry stormed down the stairs, he heard the sound of the front door closing, and prayed it was Sirius. As he got to the first floor landing though, he realized he was wrong. This had instantly gotten more difficult. "Remus, I didn't expect you, what with the full moon so close."
Remus smiled up at him, unfazed. "Nonsense Harry. The full moon is still a couple of days away, I've been taking my Wolfsbane potion correctly, and Sirius has been helping me here the last few months. Though I will say, it is disappointing to see you so unhappy to see me," he said, with a slight smile playing at the edges of his lips.
Harry hadn't realized until that moment that he had been scowling. He immediately relaxed his face and went to give his mentor a hug. "No, I'm very happy to see you. Just surprised is all." He quickly glanced up the stairs. "Also I need to speak with you, right away."
Remus' small smile quickly fell, hearing the serious tone of the words, as he ushered Harry down into the kitchen. A swish of the wand later, and they were both enshrouded in silence. As soon as the spell was in place, Harry recounted the events of the last couple of days, leaving out most of the bits at Malfoy's apartment, though blushing slightly when he thought of it. There were some things that he didn't feel needed to be shared.
"So you see, I just really didn't know what else to do other than to take him here. I know he's a prat, but I couldn't just let him die. When Snape was dying, he asked me to make sure that I saved his godson. I know that was five years ago, but I still feel like it's my duty, when I have the opportunity, to grant him his dying wish. He saved my life." Harry knew he was rambling, but recounting everything that had happened was putting him more than a little on edge.
"I am perfectly aware of what Severus told you," Remus replied, thankfully seeming less upset than Harry would have imagined. "Had I been in your shoes, I probably would have done the same thing. Though, it does seem odd how much of an interest you have taken in young Mr. Malfoy as of late. Are you sure there is nothing else you want to talk to me about? Perhaps, some new feelings that you don't necessarily understand?"
'Oh do you mean that I didn't mind my enemy flirting with me? Or the fact that I keep noticing how well Malfoy has grown up? Or the fact that I dreamed about him all last night? Or the fact that I was jealous when I found out he was sleeping with - no, seeing - someone named Duncan? The fact that my heart did a cartwheel when I realized he liked guys? No, nothing to talk about at all. No new feelings. I am perfectly normal.' Harry screamed inside his mind, adding to the ruckus of confusing thoughts already flying around in there. "What do you mean Remus? I'm fine, just following a dying man's wishes." If the older man heard the hesitation or lack of conviction in Harry's voice, he thankfully didn't mention it.
Lupin took a long moment before speaking again, his words seeming very carefully chosen. "I just want you to know, Harry, that if there ever is anything you need to talk about, I am here. I know I am not your father, but you are family to me, and I accept and love you no matter who you are." The other man's eyes held a slight twinkle that he couldn't place, but decided he didn't really have the energy to try. "Besides, maybe when you open up you will find you are not as alone as you probably feel."
"Thanks Remus, I appreciate that a lot," Harry said, trying to decipher what he meant by that last part. "I think I'm going to head upstairs now. I'm wiped and still in my clothes from yesterday."
Receiving a small nod in response. Harry quickly went toward his room. He needed a long, hot shower to try to clear his mind of this fog that has been clouding his mind since saving Malfoy's life a few weeks ago. He ascended the stairs nearly two at a time, wanting to distance himself from the echo of Remus' words. No matter how understanding his dear mentor was, he knew that this was something he would never understand. Harry barely understood.
A few steps before the second floor landing, Harry happened to look up, and instantly wished he hadn't. Coming out of the bathroom was a very wet, and very much half naked Malfoy. Harry quickly pressed himself into the shadows of the nearby wall, trying to peel his eyes away from the magnificent sight in front of him.
Draco was tall and lean, this much Harry had always known. But there was so much a person couldn't see from behind school robes or casual wear. Draco's back was clearly defined, with broad shoulders and defined shoulder blades. From there his spine arched down, creasing slightly in the center and ending with two small dimples just above the hem of the towel wrapped loosely around his waist. As he reached an arm up to dry his hair, Harry noticed that the blonde's arms were long and defined. Though not covered in muscle like most of the men in the Quidditch locker room, they looked strong and firm. He wondered if they felt as solid as they looked. But what Harry couldn't stop staring at was the other man's skin. From top to bottom was a creamy alabaster that almost seemed to glow, without a single freckle, blemish, or imperfection. It was as if he was a sculpture, and Harry suddenly found himself very much wanting to draw a finger down the line of Draco's spine if just to see if it was really as smooth as it looked.
Before he realized Draco had moved, the door slammed behind Draco with a loud whack that shook Harry out of his trance. What the hell had he been thinking? And why the fuck had he just stood there and stared? This was Draco Bloody Malfoy. And not only that, this was a guy! Harry most certainly didn't fancy men. He was sure anyone would notice the way drops of water from Malfoy's soaked locks wound their way between the taut muscles of his shoulder before slipping down below the line of his towel. That was totally normal. And the rush of blood to his cheeks and between his legs was just a result of his nervousness. Wasn't it?
Harry shook his head and deliberately pushed the images of Draco out of his head. He was sure it was just his lack of good sleep lately that was causing him to react to things so strangely. Pushing the moment out of his head, he continued up to his temporary room, and collapsed on the bed. Sleep came fast enough that he didn't notice his dreams going back to a certain Slytherin in a certain towel.
A few hours later, Harry found himself in the kitchen, staring into a fridge of food he wasn't interested in. He knew he should be starving considering how long it had been since he had last eaten, but nothing sounded particularly appealing. Sighing loudly, he instead reached into the freezer and grabbed the one thing he knew he wanted: the bottle of firewhisky. It had been a long day, and he was not in the mood to go through any more of it sober. So, he grabbed a tumbler front the cabinet and took it and the bottle to one of the chairs in front of the fire.
He was just finishing his second glass when he heard a set of footfalls on the stairs behind him that he was beginning to recognize as Malfoy's. As the blonde descended into the room, he smiled to himself for guessing correctly.
Harry watched as Draco went through similar motions to what he had just done. Walking to the fridge, opening and staring in, shoulders rising dramatically in a big sigh, freezer opening followed by another sigh, and then going back to the fridge. Harry couldn't help but snicker quietly, somehow knowing Draco wouldn't find anything he was interested in. He quietly sauntered over to one of the chairs at the large island near the fridge. "Care for a drink Malfoy, since you're having about as much luck finding dinner as I did?" Harry asked, not even trying to hide the smile that split his face.
Malfoy turned with a start, looking at Harry in momentary shock, before his perfect mask snapped back into place. Harry rolled his eyes, and held out the bottle. The other boy's eyes narrowed suspiciously, before taking the bottle and grabbing a glass. Still he didn't reply. Not that Harry cared. The effect of the two glasses was making him pleasantly dizzy and he found that he didn't mind being the one to breach the silence between them. "So's your room alright? Comfortable enough?"
Draco's eyebrow quirked up, sizing up the situation. He took a long swig of his drink before moving to sit in the only other stool at the island, which happened to be right next to Harry. "I suppose it will have to do, since I'm stuck here."
Harry didn't respond to the condescending tone as he poured himself a third glass. "Well that's good. I mean, I know it's not ideal, but you should at least be comfortable here." Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Draco already finishing his first glass and reaching to fill it again.
For a few minutes they sat in pleasant silence, as Harry smiled at the gentle buzz in his head and the way his limbs were beginning to feel weightless. Every now and again he would feel Malfoy's gaze on him, but he didn't care. Surprisingly it was Malfoy who next broke the silence in the room after each man had filled their glass once again.
"So," Draco started, as he spun his stool around and rested his back on the counter, "how long do you expect me to be holed up here?" His words lacked their typical edge, making Harry glance upward. The typical Malfoy mask had begun to slip as the whisky took hold.
"I'm not sure really. I hadn't gotten much farther in my plan than the get-you-here phase." Harry laughed loudly, feeling the sound bounce off the walls. He took another long swig of his drink. "Why, miss your boyfriend?" He didn't even try to hide the smirk that crossed his face. The faint blush spreading over Draco's face was well worth any retribution he was about to receive.
"For your information, Potter, Duncan is not my boyfriend." Malfoy's icy tone was in stark contrast with the heat radiating from his cheeks. "I have simply been seeing him for a few weeks, not that it's any of your business who I'm shagging." With the last statement, he turned and looked Harry dead in the eyes. Draco's stormy grey eyes were boring straight into him, and Harry couldn't help wanting to get lost in them.
Harry quickly coughed, shook his head and looked away. That was just the alcohol talking, it had to be. He laughed out loud at his silliness, making Draco look confused, before responding. "You're right, it's none of my business. Though it did become a bit more my business when you were trying to get me in your bed thinking I was him." Harry threw back the rest of his drink, enjoying seeing how many different shades of crimson Malfoy's cheeks were capable of becoming. Draco put his head into his hands and moaned, making Harry to laugh again. "Not that I wasn't flattered." The words were out before he could stop them, and instantly his cheeks began to burn.
Draco's head snapped up. Now it was his turn to smirk at Harry, as he slid a little too close for comfort next to him. They were so close that they almost touched. "Oh really now? You were flattered? Well then, that explains why you were always so obsessed with me in school. Why didn't you say anything?"
Harry got up and walked to the other side of the island, trying to force himself to breathe. Having Malfoy that close was disconcerting. There was no world in which Harry had wanted to know that Draco smelled slightly spicy, like cardamom and cinnamon. Whether from the drink, the smell, or the proximity, Harry was suddenly feeling very warm. "Piss off Malfoy, you know it was a joke. Only one of us is a poof." He busied himself with getting ice from the freezer for his drink. That was sure to cool him.
Draco laughed in a way Harry had never seen before, with closed eyes, his head fell back and a genuine smile spread across his face. Malfoy was clearly laughing at how ridiculous Harry was acting, but he found he didn't mind. The warm sound was so pleasant it filled the room and before Harry knew it, he was laughing too. When their laughs finally died down, Harry looked over at Draco and saw him truly smiling, unlike the practiced sneer he always wore in school. This smile went straight to his eyes, lending a sparkle to the grey that Harry decided he definitely wanted to see more of.
"Sorry, Malfoy. I really don't care if you like, erm, blokes. And you're right. It isn't any of my business. I guess I was just, I dunno, surprised? In school I always saw you with Pansy Parkinson and other girls. I had no idea you were, erm, gay," Harry stammered, not sure how to talk about this with his onetime rival.
Again Draco laughed, though not as fully as before. "Back then, neither did I. Not really. Though I will say I had suspicions." Draco looked over at Harry with a look that he couldn't read before continuing. "It wasn't until a rather unfortunate party that I really had to admit it to myself."
Harry eyed him suspiciously, wondering if Malfoy would elaborate. As he studied the blonde's face, he noticed it start to turn red again, as he downed another drink. Harry's wasn't sure how many they had had—maybe six by this point?
Malfoy took a deep breath and then continued. "Well since you aren't going to ask, I'll just tell you. There was a party with all the guys in the Slytherin common room one night in fifth year. Merlin knows what we were celebrating, but someone snuck in tequila. That was the first time I ever had it. I don't remember much, but the next day I woke up with a very naked Malcolm Baddock in someone else's bed. Thankfully I was the first person awake and no one had noticed, so I was able to sneak back to my bed with no one the wiser. I broke up with Pansy the next day." Draco looked over at Harry nervously, but smiled when he saw Harry holding back a laugh. "It's not funny! She nearly killed me when I told her a few years later."
Harry balked slightly before laughing and coming back to sit in the stool. "You waited years to tell the poor girl! That's just cruel."
Malfoy rolled his eyes. "It was two years before I told anyone. Though that story may even be more embarrassing than the first, which means you are not going to get to hear it."
Harry reached over for the bottle of firewhisky and filled both of their glasses again. "I'm not so sure you'll be saying that in a few more drinks." Draco simply smiled in response. "I have an idea. How about if I tell you something embarrassing, help level the playing field?"
Draco cocked an eyebrow up, but otherwise didn't reply. Harry sighed loudly, knowing he would have to put himself out there if he wanted to hear the rest of the other's story. "Try this one on for size. That same year that you shagged Baddock, I was busy getting my first kiss. Those usually don't go great for anyone but mine was a special kind of awful. That year I had had a huge thing for Cho Chang, if you remember her. Unfortunately though, she was still mourning Cedric. One night we were talking about him and she was crying. Then there was mistletoe and all of a sudden we were kissing." Harry chuckled at the memory. "I remember describing it to Ron and Hermione later as being wet. Unfortunately that was from her tears, not from anything more exciting."
Malfoy grinned menacingly, "You're right Potter. That was embarrassing."
They both laughed again, causing Harry to almost spill his drink. He realized he should probably stop drinking, but he was enjoying himself too much to care. "I know what you mean. Amazingly she still managed to go on a date with me. One date. In fact, the date was more disastrous than the kiss. We managed to argue about Hermione, talk about Cedric, and had your good friend Pansy tell her how unworthy I was. Needless to say, that was the last time I went out with her. I spent most of the date uncomfortable anyways." Harry shifted nervously in his seat, not sure why he was saying so much.
Draco paused, swirling the amber liquid in his glass, so that it caught the light and reflected specks of light all over his face. It wasn't until he heard Malfoy's voice that he realized he had been staring. "I tried to kiss Blaise Zabini."
Harry nearly choked on his drink. "You what?" Harry stammered out in shock.
Draco looked at him briefly, before going back to swirling his cup. "Yeah, that's basically the face he had when it happened. It was one night after graduation, and he and I had gone around the world to celebrate our new-found freedom. We had made our way to Mexico by this point and I had been drinking tequila again. You would think after the last incident I would have learned, but clearly I hadn't. We got to talking and I told him the real reason I broke up with Pansy. He had a good laugh and told me it was no big deal, he was still my best friend. A few hours and a few drinks later, I decided to dance. He got up and we were dancing, not exactly together but near each other, and I snapped. I reached over, grabbed his arm, and tried to kiss him. Needless to say, it did not go over well. He freaked out, I panicked, and I haven't seen him since. That was the day two things happened. It was the day I came out and the day I decided I would never drink tequila again."
Harry was silent at the revelation. Really what could he say? After a bit of awkward silence, Draco once again was the one to break it. "It's really not a big deal though. That was a long time ago. Now I'm totally comfortable with who I am. Don't go out much though. Not many willing to go for a marked Death Eater. Not something I imagine you would understand, Chosen One status and all."
Harry shrugged. "You would be surprised. I haven't been on a proper date in ages. Never know if someone is interested in me or my 'status' as you said."
Draco's eyebrows both raised in surprise. "Really? I thought at least the female Weasel was interested. You certainly seemed chummy in school. It's a damn shame you can't even use your name to get some tail."
Harry couldn't help but laugh. If only he knew. "Ginny and I did date. She is a great girl and like a sister to me. Would have never worked, even if we did play for the same team." This seemed to peek the other boy's curiosity, though Harry had no plans to elaborate. "As for your other accusation, all I said is I hadn't had a proper date in ages. No one ever said anything about action."
Draco gave a soft snort and rolled his eyes, before downing the last of his drink. "Well, it seems you certainly have grown up, Potter."
Harry smiled slightly at the statement. "I think that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me. In fact, I'm decently sure this is the longest conversation we have had without you threatening me or calling one of my friends something nasty."
"I'll try not to make a habit of it." Draco replied, though his words seemed less than sincere.
"Maybe we should. I mean, we are both going to be cooped up here for Merlin knows how long, maybe we could try getting along for once. Assuming you can go that long without being a total prat." Harry smiled a bit, just enough to show he meant no harm.
Draco nodded in agreement. "That's not a half bad idea, assuming you can go that long without being a complete git." Draco smiled again, and this time Harry's stomach did a somersault and he gave a quick nod. It was definitely time to stop drinking.
As he went to set his glass down, his arm slid straight across Draco's. Harry immediately froze, eyes glued to the exposed skin of their forearms pressed gently against each other. Draco's skin was impossibly warm, and the heat seemed to be sinking directly into his skin making tingle in a not entirely unpleasant way. Harry noticed that Draco too hadn't made an attempt to move, and he snuck a peek up. Draco's eyes were glued on Harry, and the cool grey made him feel utterly exposed, and still he could not move. The moment probably only lasted seconds, but to Harry it seemed to stretch forever. Then, without warning, Draco moved away.
"Um, I should probably go to bed. Long day, very tired." Malfoy uncharacteristically ran a hand through his hair. Harry absently wondered if the strands were as silky as they looked.
"Yeah, um, that's true. Sleep is, erm, probably a good idea." He looked up at the clock and realized it was almost three in the morning. "It is getting late. You should head up."
"What about you? Are you staying up?" Malfoy questioned.
"Not for long, I, um…" His voice trailed off trying to come up with something, when he noticed their glasses. "I'm just going to clean up a bit."
Malfoy didn't look like he believed him, but gave quick nod anyways. "Alright then." He turned to leave.
As Harry watched him go, he realized he suddenly didn't want Draco to go. "Hey Malfoy?" He called after him.
"Yeah?" Draco turned quickly back to him, an almost hopeful look on his face. As he did, Harry suddenly imagined rushing up to him, and pulling him into a deep kiss that he was certain he would never describe as simply wet. He saw their lips crashing together, breathing hard, and being pressed up against the wall as his hands went to Draco's back and found those two dimples at the base of his spine he had seen earlier that day. Harry shook his head and looked Draco straight in the eyes. "Goodnight Draco."
Harry wasn't sure if he imagined the look of disappointment in the other boy's eyes, before his mask snapped partially back into place. On top of the mask, an easy smile slip into place across the lips Harry was determined to not look at any more tonight. "Goodnight." And with that Malfoy slipped from the room.
As soon as he was gone, Harry poured himself another glass and slid down into the armchair by the fire. Staring at the dancing flames he had to admit something to himself that he had been dancing around for entirely too long. He was attracted to Draco Malfoy.