Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter, I own everything else. Oh, and Mary's lovely wake-up call isn't mine either.

A/N: This hasn't been updated since September 11th and I am REALLY sorry. I missed this story but I got caught up in two others. So now Snape can FINALLY get to class. After breakfast. Oh, and I actually own a purse EXACTLY like Anita's.

Alex groaned as he stumbled out of his new room. He had shoved a duvet from the bed over Mary's mirror and changed into a pair of tan slacks and a black dress shirt. He had ignored the ghost's wails and left the blanket where it was as he headed off to breakfast.

Luckily Alex remembered to stay to the right. The last thing he needed to do was wind up in the women's dormitory or something. Then again, judging by the day before, that should have been expected. Smiling to himself for the first time in years, Alex entered the cafeteria.

The room was abuzz with the sound of numerous students eating. It was designed like a high school cafeteria; complete with bland food and hard plastic chairs that no one would ever be perfectly comfortable in. Students from every blood-line and species were sitting at tables and enjoying their meal.

"Alex!" a familiar voice chirped from behind him. "Good to see you made it."

Snape slowed down, allowing Anita to catch up to him. Today's wardrobe was a blue t-shirt with green polka dots, a jean skirt, orange tights and a pair of red flats with white polka dots. She was carrying a large bright blue purse with black accents. It was so puffy it had the consistency of a marshmallow and Alex was fairly certain a body could have been concealed in there need be.

"It was fairly simple," Alex replied, looking with dread at the line-up. At least at Hogwarts the food appeared out of thin air; you didn't have to wait for your meal. "And thank you once again for last night. I have no idea what I would have done without you."

"It was a team effort," Anita smiled, pulling Alex's arm towards the line. "Toby's the coach; Charles and I just follow orders."

"How did, um, Toby…you know…get this place?" Alex found himself lost for words as the pair entered the line. "Did he inherit it or something?"

"I don't think I'm at liberty to say," Anita said, avoiding Snape's gaze as she concentrated at the line of various foods behind a glass shield. "What do you want anyways?"

"Touchy subject I suppose," Snape replied, taking his plate and making a move to get a piece of toast. "I'll just have to…bloody hell!"

Snape jumped as an electric shock coursed through his hand. He immediately backed off, wiping his hand on his trousers as if it might help stop the tingling sensation in his hand. Anita burst into a fit of giggles as Alex glared at her.

"Sorry about that," Anita said, taking her pencil out and directing it at the toast. Two pieces flew off of the pile and onto Alex's plate. "I forgot all about the magic enhancing system."

"What?" Snape asked as Anita made an egg fall onto her plate as well as two strips of bacon. He accepted her offer of a glass of orange juice and the pair walked over to a table. "What in a magic enhancing system?"

"It supposed to encourage students to, you know, use their powers," Anita shrugged as she took a drink of juice. "You can only get breakfast using magic; lunch is done manually, and dinner is up to you."

"So if you can't use your powers…you have to beg someone else to get your breakfast for you?" Alex asked, taking a bite of toast.

"In a nutshell, yeah," Anita replied. "Toby says it's a way to develop relationships between different students and the like. I think he just likes to watch people get zapped."

"Where is our Headmaster anyways?" Alex chuckled. He'd have to get used to begging for his breakfast he supposed. "Warding off another psychotic ghost or something?"

"Sleeping probably," Anita yawned and covered her mouth. "Something I should probably be doing right now too. I don't need to start work until the bar is officially open."

"Why are you up then?" Alex raised an eyebrow. Now that he thought of it, she did look a bit tired. "Go back to bed."

"I thought I'd check up on you…you know…make sure a random poltergeist didn't come in last night and attack you or something."

"Hey, watch it there Annie," a disembodied voice said as a fork and knife held by invisible hands drifted past them. A random bowtie floated as well. "I might take offense."

"Sorry Bart," Anita said, gesturing towards Alex. "Alex, meet Bart. He's our resident poltergeist and waiter."

"Pleased to…um…meet you," Alex said, not sure how to greet a poltergeist. He was used to Peeves, who usually caused the Potions teacher to stalk just a little bit faster down the hallways than usual.

"Same here," the voice said. At least this ghost didn't want to pluck out his eyes or anything. "Well, I'm off. Got people to serve. Meet up with you at some point or another."

"He was a waiter at some ritzy restaurant before he died," Anita explained as Bart left. "Toby bought an antique table, and he got Bart with the package. He's been serving here ever since. See Alex? Not all ghosts are crazy."

"Well that's debatable," Alex mumbled. "I woke up at five o'clock this morning to the sound of Mary singing at the top of her lungs."

Anita snorted, orange juice coming out of her nose. She turned a deep shade of pink and wiped the mess up with a paper napkin. Snape laughed too, a full-out laugh though. He didn't bother to hide it; all of the other students could just mind their own business.

"What song was it?" Anita asked around her giggles.

"Would you believe 'The Song That Never Ends'?"

"How did you make it end?" Anita chuckled, the dregs of her breakfast forgotten on her plate. "DID you?"

"I shoved a blanket over her," Alex grinned. "It shut her up long enough for me to get ready anyways. Never bothered to take it off."

"She's going to be SO ticked," Anita smiled. "You'd better apologize before she goes after something other than your eyes."

Alex's eyes grew wide as Anita patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll send Toby in as back-up just in case."

"So who teaches Potions anyways?" Alex said, trying to ignore the thought of having to confront Mary…again. "Toby?"

"Lenny actually," Anita replied, pointing at Alex with a manicured nail. "You of all people should know how talented he is. You did say you liked his work."

"Some things may have been…lost in translation last night," Alex averted Anita's gaze. "Charles seems to be a bit of a dramatic character and some of what he said last night could have been…misinterpreted."

"Of course," Anita said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You were out of it and Charles is a bit of a Drama King. Charles has tried to set me up with every man he knows, alive or otherwise. You were a vulnerable target, that's all."

"You've never had…feelings…for Charles?" Alex inquired. He'd heard women generally worshipped the grave-dirt vampires walked on. He imagined Anita telling Charles to wipe his feet or she'd stake him with a stiletto or something. He snickered.

"When I started I guess," Anita shrugged. "I was young, in my teens, and thought vampires were all dark romance and the like. Now I'm thirty and know better. Vampire or not, Charles still doesn't seem to know what a washing machine is for."

Alex chuckled again. He had never heard himself laugh so much in such a short span of time. It was nice to be able to sit across from someone rather than having to lean over them to get the scrambled eggs. And there was no infernal woman who enjoyed predicting his gory death in his tea leaves every morning.

"Well, I think I'd better be going," Anita got up, her chair scraping across the floor. "Gotta get back to bed."

"I suppose I'll see you tonight?" Alexander ventured. "I mean, as a customer of course."

"Of course," Anita winked at him, shouldering her purse. "I'm off to get some Beauty Sleep. Enjoy your classes."

The last thing that woman needs to worry about is beauty, Alex found himself thinking as he headed to his first class at Kwikspell Academy.

END!