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Beta services provided by Remylebeauishot and evelyn-shaye of Project Team Beta.

A/N: We were lucky here when Hurricane Sandy came through. Very lucky, unlike those poor folks in NY and NJ.

Twilight Rambles, Chapter 25 "Where's Carlisle?" by LJ Summers on FFn and ADifferentForest

"I Live" is posted on The Writer's Coffee Shop, AO3, FanFiction, and A Different Forest.

Age 18 and over, please. Thank you.

Chapter 10, I Ponder

Esme's POV

I hated to see such discord and animosity between my sons, but I didn't see that there was anything I could have done about it. I knew that Edward wanted to see Bella so badly, but his presence seemed to have such a negative effect on her.

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it.

Her intense adverse reaction to Alice was beyond belief. I just didn't understand it. When Bella wasn't with Edward, she would be with Alice, though I believed much of that was by Edward's design. I couldn't imagine why Alice's presence would upset her so.

That she was so aware of the presence of others was mind-boggling. I recalled being somewhat aware of Carlisle and Edward nearby during my transformation, but it had barely registered — the pain had been so all-consuming.

My poor Bella! To have been in that terrible crash! It must have been horrific. Then to be bitten by some vampire — it was heartbreaking. Jasper hadn't recognized the scent of the vampire — he, most likely, had been a nomad.

But why would he bite her and leave her there? Jasper had said that she had only been bitten once, and it was not a bite to feed.

It was so bewildering.

Thank goodness Jasper had been nearby, or we would have lost our girl.

His restraint! To have been able to bite her to inject more venom into her system, and not be overcome with blood lust, was just remarkable. I didn't think that I could have done it. He was so strong.

I got up from my chair by the right side of the bed to check on Bella. She was so beautiful, even when her face displayed small signs of her immense pain. She always had been beautiful. I placed my hand on her arm.

"Bella, everything will be all right. I'm here and I will help you. We all love you so much."

It was such a large bed, I had to walk around to the other side to reach Jasper, though I stopped at the foot of the bed just to look at them.

Overall, Bella seemed so peaceful, and she looked just like a little angel. She appeared to be even smaller lying there next to Jasper. Maybe it was because Jasper was so tall. Even curled on his side, he looked so much larger than her. His shoulders were quite wide.

I continued around the bed and bent toward him. He was lying on his left side, facing Bella, and I really couldn't reach over him to take his hand, so I placed my hand on his hair and smoothed it back from his face. It was such a pretty golden honey color.

"Jasper, I'm right here watching over you. I'm right here. Everything is fine. You and Bella are safe."

Keep Jasper safe? I scoffed because I believed that if anyone could have taken care of himself, it would have been Jasper. Though, I would have protected them both to the very end of my own life. They were both so vulnerable. I couldn't see Jasper allowing himself to be defenseless like that. Unless …

Unless he knew Rosalie and I would protect and take care of him?

I had never seen anyone move like he did when Edward ran into the room and leapt at him. Edward should have listened. It was so obvious that Bella was in distress; Edward should have left the room.

I was very sorry that Edward had to suffer the pain of losing a limb, but, in my heart of hearts, I had to conclude that he probably deserved it. Bella was screaming so desperately, and Jasper did not attack him first.

The way Jasper had been standing there … just the look on his face was chilling. His eyes had been a dull black, and his jaw had been tightly clenched. Then when Edward leapt at him, Jasper slammed him down so quickly and tore off his arm — it was terrifying!

When Jasper returned to Bella, he touched her so tenderly and gently, as if she were made of spun glass. The way he caressed her face and brought her hand to his chest was so sweet, so loving. I had never seen him behave that way before.

Of course, I had no idea what he meant when he had said he would take her pain. It all happened so fast. I hadn't time to react even if I had known what was going to happen.

Not a moment after he finished speaking, Bella had gasped and his entire body shook as if he'd been electrocuted, then he fell to his knees. I knew Rosalie was as stunned as I was, but we both reached him at the same time, just as he slumped to the floor. He must have somehow taken some of Bella's burning pain into himself. Even if that was what happened, he never let go of her hand.

I knew how he had suffered feeling all of our emotions over the years. There had been times when he had to leave because he was about to be overwhelmed. I could not even imagine how he might be suffering if he was somehow connected to Bella and experiencing what she was going through.

Rosalie and I hadn't known what to do. We couldn't just leave him like that, but because Bella was so close to the side of the bed, there wasn't room for him there unless we moved her. And he wouldn't let go of her hand! Even Rosalie had tried to pry his fingers loose with me.

The only thing we could do was to try and move them both at the same time. I went to the other side of the bed and climbed up so I could reach Bella. When Rosalie had her arms in position under Jasper, I pulled on Bella as Rosalie lifted Jasper.

There was something to be said for vampire strength.

We had to leave Jasper on his left side because they just would not let go of each other's hands.

Rosalie! I had to smile at her when all she had to say after picking him up and putting him on the bed was, "He's more solid than he looks!"

Those two were so like true brother and sister at times.

Jasper did seem to be helping Bella. Both of them have been motionless — so still and so quiet. It was certainly nothing like what I had experienced before. I remembered how it felt to be going through the agony of that transformation. I remembered Rosalie's and Emmett's. It was dreadful just to witness it! I had watched over them as they bore the pain, and Carlisle had said, even as horrible as it looked, theirs had been normal.

I patted Jasper's shoulder and ran my hand down his arm. I hoped I was comforting him in some small way.

I heard someone coming up the stairs and stood to face the door. I knew Carlisle was home, and Edward had been told in no uncertain terms he was to stay away.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that it was Carlisle.

"Esme." He smiled as he came in the door. "How have they been doing?"

I grasped his hands, and he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before he turned his attention to Jasper and Bella.

"They have been so quiet. As you can see, they haven't even moved."

"It is extraordinary," he whispered as he leaned forward to place his hand on Jasper's forehead. Next he grasped Jasper's arm then moved down to brush his fingers across his bare foot.

"I don't know what I expected to find, but Jasper feels as if he is the same temperature as always. His skin looks and feels the same."

Carlisle rounded the bed and examined Bella in the same way, starting at her forehead. He gently cupped her face for a moment and smiled before he reached for her arms. Then he leaned a bit closer to her and was still. He stood up momentarily and appeared perplexed. He sat in the chair and began stroking Bella's hand.

I just sat down, clasped my hands together in my lap, and waited for him. I knew he was thinking, trying to puzzle out something, and he would tell me when he had it worked it out.

"Esme," he began. "It's been twenty-seven-and-a-half hours since Jasper first found Bella. Her appearance has changed, as you can plainly see, but strangely, her skin has begun to harden already. Her temperature has lowered. Her breathing and heart rate seem steady and are about the same as they were the last time I examined her. You said Jasper said he was going to take her pain and collapsed about twelve-and-a-half hours ago?"

"Yes. It was at about 2:30 this morning."

"The first time he collapsed after feeling Bella's pain, he was unresponsive for thirty minutes. I'd been expecting him to come out of it before now. I wonder if he will wake up when Bella does or if he'll awaken beforehand?"

He patted Bella's hand, stood up and turned to face the windows.

"You and Emmett did a fine job replacing the windows," he remarked.

"Thank you. Emmett is quite skilled. Fortunately, we have a few extra windows in the garage. You know how rambunctious he can be at times. I still think he forgets how strong he is." I smiled to think of Emmett. He was the strongest and largest of us all, but there were times when he had the enthusiasm of a child.

Carlisle chuckled at that. "Yes, he can be quite 'rambunctious.' We're lucky he's so handy, since he does manage to break things on occasion. And he's been more than helpful with our remodeling projects. He has quite the eye for design, too. But don't tell him I said that," Carlisle said with a small chuckle. He shook his head then turned back toward me.

"How did Bella react when Emmett was in the room? Things remained calm, evidently."

Looking over Bella and Jasper, I smiled and nodded. "She appeared to be the same as she is now. Jasper had no reaction either. I hate to admit it, but it was a relief that they didn't react to his presence. I was a bit nervous having him come in here. He hadn't been in to see her before and I feared she might react badly. I had no idea what Jasper would have done if she had."

The thought of Jasper "reacting badly" had sent chills through me.

"If she didn't react then, I don't think we have anything to worry about if Emmett wants to come back and sit with her … them … when he and Alice get back. They've gone to Portland to look at a truck Emmett saw on the internet."

I nodded. I had heard them leave. "How is Edward now?"

At that question, a look of concern crossed Carlisle's face. "Physically, he will be fine. He's been out hunting. Feeding will help the healing, of course. Emotionally, however …" He sighed and crossed his arms. "You know he was distraught when Alice called him and told him Bella had taken off from work, and was heading for La Push. He was quite angry, also. When Alice couldn't see her any longer, we just assumed she was with Jacob Black. I was surprised Edward didn't run straight there. It's best that he didn't, considering how he reacted when he saw her covered in blood."

Edward had fought so hard to control his blood lust for her. Seeing her in Jasper's arms so badly injured and covered with blood had been too much for him.

"Bella didn't make it to La Push, though, Carlisle, and Alice still couldn't see her. Alice hasn't been able to see anything of Bella's future. She told me earlier she can't see Jasper's future now either." I lightly stroked Jasper's arm. "What do you think it means?"

Carlisle came to stand behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "My only guess is that since Bella can keep Edward from reading her mind, she has somehow been blocking him. Like a shield of some sort. One of Aro's Volturi guards is his personal shield — Renata. She can block anyone from physically attacking Aro, but she has to be touching him in order to do it. Aro couldn't read Bella's mind, and he's very powerful. Even Aro's Jane couldn't affect her. Thank God. Jane's power is extremely painful, or so I've observed."

I patted Carlisle's hand and smiled up at him. "Our Bella is quite the wonder."

"Yes, she is!" Carlisle squeezed my hand and started to pace across the floor toward the windows again. He gazed out at the cloudy afternoon and took in a breath. "Given that, I would have to say she is a shield for protection or defense." One hand went to rest on his hip, and with the other he tapped his chin. "Perhaps, when she was injured so badly, she somehow caused it to expand and tried to protect herself. We've all heard the stories about how humans, in times of extreme stress, can suddenly gain almost super-human strength. She must be blocking Alice now. I would surmise that because Jasper is touching her, she is shielding him, too."

He turned toward me and gestured toward Bella and Jasper. "It's all mere speculation, of course. We won't know until we are able to experiment and see if she can block them at will or if she can also shield others. Then again, she may never be able to control it."

"You know, Carlisle," I said as I rose from the chair and walked closer to him. Though Edward was out hunting, I didn't want to take a chance he might return without my hearing him and overhear my thoughts and concerns. I didn't know where Rosalie was, but I suspected she and I were of the same mind.

I took Carlisle's hand in both of mine. "Edward told me last night that when Jasper was touching Bella, he could not read his mind. When Jasper left Bella to take a shower, Edward could hear him again. But this morning, when Edward came rushing into the room, Jasper let go of Bella. Edward told me that later he realized even when Jasper let go of Bella's hand, he couldn't read his mind. Do you suppose her shield is getting stronger?"

Carlisle took me in his arms and sighed. "It's certainly possible, Esme. Latent abilities in humans often get stronger when they become vampires. Edward is a prime example of that. He could not read minds before he was changed, though his mother had told him he had been quite intuitive at times. Jasper is another. He had said that he rose quite quickly through the ranks, despite his youth. He said he had been told he was rather charismatic and empathetic, and that would have certainly helped. His innate charisma evidently became his ability to feel and project emotions. Apparently, Bella is innately gifted with a shield. But to shield Jasper when he wasn't touching her?"

"Carlisle, I have a theory," I whispered. I couldn't help myself. I glanced over at the door to make sure no one was there and could hear me. I started to feel a little guilt at my thoughts, but I could not ignore my observations any longer.

Carlisle looked at me, worry showing on his face, and took my face in his hands. "What's wrong? What is your theory?"

I leaned close to his ear and whispered, "I think Jasper and Bella are mates."

He took hold of my shoulders and held me away from him. He gaped at me in shock. "What? Why?" he stammered.

"Let me explain. I've been watching Jasper quite closely. You know I've always been concerned about him and how, even though he's part of our family, he has always seemed to be on the periphery. On the outside, looking in." I had to pause for a moment and gather my thoughts.

"As I've said, I've been watching him very closely. He is very different with Bella now. He never got so close to her before, he hardly came within ten feet of her, and now he's always touching her and speaking softly to her. He barely even spoke to her before. I attributed that to his concern he might try to bite her, though when he and Alice drove her to Phoenix to keep her from James, he didn't appear to have a problem. He was directly protecting her then. In that ballet studio, her blood did not affect him, and he killed James. He was protecting her again. I can't explain what happened when she cut her finger at her birthday, but when he found her after the crash, she was covered in blood, and he didn't attack her. He protected her again."

Carlisle's hands gently smoothed my hair as I touched his cheek. "Go on," he said.

"Rosalie and I had quite a bit of contact with Bella's skin when we were trying to clean the blood from her. If Edward had suddenly been unable to hear us, he would have said so. You know how he is. He would have mentioned it and tried to reason it out. He is so like you, in that respect. I think that Bella is only shielding Jasper. I think she's trying to protect him. Alice has only complained about not seeing them; she still gets glimpses of the rest of us."

I hugged Carlisle to me and whispered more quietly into his ear. "Can you tell that her scent has changed?"

"Yes, I did notice that. It's quite a bit less floral. It's spicier, warmer, somehow. Esme?"

I was trying to give him all of my observations, all my reasons for coming to the conclusion I had, but I was feeling more guilt by the moment about those conclusions. I just couldn't deny them any longer. Like everyone else, I had thought Bella was Edward's mate. I believed we were wrong.

"When Edward attacked Jasper, and Jasper threw him to the floor and ripped his arm off I was shocked, to say the least, but Alice? She was horrified. She backed away from him and said 'I can't, I just can't' and fled down the stairs. I would have thought she'd go to him and at least ask how he was. Or that he would have gone to her because she was so obviously upset. You know how we seem to feel compelled to go to our mates and comfort them after any sort of trauma — how we have to have physical contact with our mates. But, Alice ran away. She was terrified of him."

"I can understand that she would be terrified. Like the rest of you, she's not been exposed to such … such violence."

"But, Carlisle," I whispered. "Emmett, Rosalie and I stayed. Alice ran away from him, and he just let her go. Instead, he went immediately to Bella to comfort her. You have seen the effect he has on her. She calms down when he speaks to her and touches her."

"One would think that would be his empathic gift."

"I don't think that's all it is, Carlisle." I looked into his eyes and asked, "Did you realize that Alice had taken all of Jasper's things out of her room and put them in his study?"

"No, I didn't. Are you saying …?" Carlisle began, but I placed my finger on his lips to stop him.

"Of course, I don't know what Alice is thinking, but I would think that means she's afraid of him and doesn't want him in her personal space; doesn't want him near her. She has, in effect, thrown him out."

"But, Esme, you know how … intensely … Rosalie and Emmett have fought over the years."

"Yes, I do. But Alice and Jasper haven't ever fought like that. They've had their little tiffs, of course, but nothing like this."

"You have noticed Bella's scent is different." He nodded. "All this time, when Jasper needed to be in close contact with her, he didn't try to hurt her, he protected her. I believe that he must have recognized some quality about her that caused him to be protective of her."

I placed my hand over his cheek. "When she wrecked her truck, another vampire had bitten her first. That would have begun the change. That would have begun to change the scent of the blood that remained in her system, though there couldn't have been too much at the time. How else can you explain Jasper not losing control and draining her? How else can you explain his being able to bite her and force in more venom? He must have been able to detect a difference in her blood, even if he was not consciously aware of it."

My hand slid from his cheek to his shoulder. "Even if that were not the case, he strove to protect her once again. He bit her to ensure that she would survive and she would not suffer with the change any longer than she had to. He forced more venom into her, and then carried her all the way back here — to his home. He brought her home so he could protect and take care of his mate."

Carlisle's eyes widened in astonishment again. He looked over at Jasper and Bella lying next to each other on Edward's bed, their hands entwined just as they had been for hours. He looked back at me, his arms tightening around me, and whispered in my ear, "Yes. He has been protective of her, and rather possessive. He has been displaying more of a dominant personality. More so than he ever has the entire time he's been with us." He kissed my temple. "I don't know why I didn't put it all together before. There's no other explanation for how or why he would even attempt to try to take on the pain of her transformation."

I hugged Carlisle to me. "I believe he's been acting instinctively to protect his mate. I don't even think he's really aware of what he's doing. He's … just doing it."

Carlisle lightly kissed my cheek and inhaled deeply. "He has been quite taken with her scent, also, and scent alerts us to so many things, including our mates. Esme, you have certainly given me something to ponder."

.