It's me who made you sad
She was a horrible person. A horrible, horrible person. She was sure he'd hate her if he knew, and as he knew her better than anyone, he'd be able to tell quite easily if she let him close now. Henry didn't deserve this – he deserved better. Until she could overcome this ... thing, she had to try to keep a little distance. But that was hurting him too. What to do? Abby just didn't know.
Pacing the rooftop terrace outside his flat, she could see him inside through the windows. He was watching TV – CSI, it seemed. Hmm, he was absurdly interested in things like that, she thought. Like now – to judge from his expression, he was thoroughly fascinated! Abby suppressed a shiver, but simultaneously she smiled. This was just one of his little quirks. Even though she could in no way share his interest in all things morbid, it was OK with her, now that she knew why. The explanation he'd given her – that it had been his way of coping with the shock of the murders was sound. It was very far from her own reaction and way of thinking, but she could see why he did that. It creeped her out a little, but the most important thing was that he was happy. Which brought her back to her worries – right now, she was the one who made him unhappy. Sighing, she felt tears filling her eyes.
Xxx
He suspected she was having trouble sleeping again. She'd be sleeping deeply tonight, though, not waking up until morning from the drugs he'd given her. Drugging the love of his life – it was despicable, and he felt ashamed. But it was necessary – she had to sleep all through the night, and later she wouldn't have to worry about Shea anymore. This night, the last thing she'd remember was falling asleep in his arms, and that's where she'd be when she woke in the morning. Everything was set for a night of work for him.
Xxx
At Shea's house, he quickly turned off the surveillance systems. All the Wellington's had at one point bought the same surveillance system, so he literally knew Shea's system as well as his own. Stepping into the garage, he silently thanked Richard for his penchant for old cars. It was such an easy thing to adjust the steering system and brakes on an old car, compared to a new one. Shea's favorite was of course a classy, sleek and elegant Mercedes, dating back to the sixties. As an afterthought, he made sure the engine got a small leakage of gasoline.
Changing his now soiled rubber gloves for new ones – of course putting the used ones in his pocket – he entered the house. Now for killing the main switch, he thought, laughing silently at himself. Shea had told them while at Harper's that neither she or Madison could sleep without having both lights and the TV turned on. Shortly after he cut the power, he heard Madison calling for Shea.
«Mummy? Mummy? The lights went out! I'm scared, Mummy!»
«I'm right here, sweetie! I'll go and check, to see if I can get the power back on.»
«Mummy! I don't want to be here if it's dark. Mummy, can't we go someplace else?»
«Just a moment, honey...»
He heard Shea fumble around, but of course she couldn't get the power back on. He wouldn't botch an important job like this. Smiling, he listened to Madison – she was panicking, and from Shea's voice he could tell she was scared too. All according to plan.
Only minutes later, the two of them were heading out in the garage. At the sight of Madison clutching her teddy bear, he almost felt a little bad, but the worry on Shea's face was gratifying. She deserved what was coming her way.
Shea's favorite car rumbled to life in the garage, and he left the house just as silently as he had entered – of course first fixing the power back on when the car was out of sight.
Feeling happy and relieved at a job well done, he only regretted the fact that this time he wouldn't get to see his victims die. He could imagine it of course – the gas pedal jamming itself at full throttle, both the steering and the brakes failing, the panic and the screaming – and then, they'd hit something - anything - at full speed. Maybe the car would even explode, thanks to the small leakage? Oh well, this was only daydreaming. The important thing was that his original plan was finally being fulfilled, and Shea wouldn't bother Abby anymore.
Xxx
She woke up with her head resting on his chest as usual. Stretching, she felt slightly fuzzy in the head. She must have been dead tired last night, falling asleep and not waking at all through the night. Her movement woke Henry, and he smiled at her, before giving her the usual morning kiss on the forehead.
«Hey, are you awake? You've slept like a log all night!»
«Yeah, I was so tired», she yawned. Feeling a moment of worry, she asked: «I didn't snore, did I?»
«No, you never snore. You're a perfect, silent sleeper, don't worry!»
«Mmm. That's good.» Smiling back at him, she ached inside: If you only knew! Then you wouldn't look at me with such love in your eyes.
«I know something else that's good», he said, his eyes darkening with desire as he flipped her over on her back.
Xxx
As she was dressing after her shower, she turned on the TV to watch the news. Her pants fell out of her hands as she saw the headlines, and she yelled for him, desperately at the top of her lungs.
«Henry!!!»
He peeked his head out the bathroom. «What's wrong?»
Sobbing, she could only point at the TV, before crumpling on the bed. Even before she hit the mattress, he held her, and once again she clung to him as if he was her sole anchor to the world.
Xxx
He was so pleased, the car had actually exploded. Not only that, the car had hit a pillar on a bridge before exploding, and then fallen off the edge into the sea. This meant that forensic evidence would be difficult to obtain, but he had also been extremely careful – knowing that this HAD to look like an accident. This was so perfect – the car crash was fantastic, just like in an action movie!
But stroking Abby's hair, he felt sorry for her. She cried and cried, and he felt so sad by seeing her like this again that he had no problem at all to display grief himself. To cause her so much pain had all been an unfortunate, but necessary part of his plan. From now on, he'd protect her from all harm. Always.
He'd have to talk to Bill about postponing the new TV interview, as their situation had changed so dramatically. He was really happy that he had refrained from killing Bill the other day – instead he had just left the room. The man was a nuisance, but extremely useful. And sometimes, it was nice to prove to himself that he wasn't like his Dad. He might be an extremely competent serial killer, but he wasn't a nutcase. Abby would keep him sane, he thought, kissing her tears.
Xxx
She was still reeling after the deaths of Shea and Madison three weeks ago, but mostly she was feeling a little numb. Maybe there was a limit to how much grief she could feel? But she realized that Henry watched her constantly. He was obviously worried about her, and he pampered her even more than he usually did, and that was saying something. She sighed, knowing that he also had to wonder about her feelings for him. He had told her several times that he loved her now, but she hadn't responded. But she couldn't – it still felt like cheating. Maybe it was time to tell him why she had been so distant since returning to Seattle? She didn't look forward to that at all. A coward, that's what she was.
An opening came, as Bill related a question from a local paper, asking if she was planning to stay in Seattle. She answered noncommittally, seeing Henry shift on his chair, worry creasing his face.
Afterwards, back in the flat, she brought up the question again. She could see him freeze, as she asked: «What are we going to say – we live in different cities, what are we going to do about that? About us.»
He closed his eyes, and swallowed, saying a little desperately: «I, maybe, I thought I could relocate my company to LA.»
Her mouth fell open. «You would do that? For me?»
He smiled a little crookedly: «You have no idea of what I'd do to be with you.»
She shook her head. «No. No. That's... Think about your employees! And the costs?»
«It's just people, brains and computers. It won't be that hard to move.»
Stunned, she mulled it over in her head, before answering slowly with a smile.
«I.. I'll come to Seattle. I'm a writer. It doesn't matter where I live. I can write anywhere. I only know I want to be with you.»
«You'd do that for me?» This time, he was the one looking amazed. No wonder, after the way she'd behaved the last few weeks.
«Yeah. You still don't believe it, do you? That I want to be with you? Henry, I can't even sleep on my own!»
She could see tension leaving him, and he sighed as he put his arms around her.
No, she didn't dare to tell him. Not yet. But she could make him happier still.
Leaning her head against his chest, she reveled in the safety she always felt when he was around. Safe and loved – like he'd protect her from everything.
He said: «So you want to be with me? For real – live here with me?», his voice still full of wonder.
«Mmm, yeah.» She smiled up at him, saying: «I know you got any number of bad sides, and you sometimes do odd things that I can't even begin to comprehend, but I also know you'll protect me, make me laugh and just generally be perfect.» Would he notice she didn't say she loved him? Oh, sure he did, but he also seemed to be genuinely happy by her words. For now, this would have to do.
Xxx
Thankfully, she had convinced him to stay in Seattle for Valentine's day. Looking out from their living room on the nightscape of city lights, she thought of Christmas. She had been shocked when he had wanted to spend the holidays at Harper's Island – of all places! The ensuing quarrel had ended on a compromise: He got Christmas at Harper's, and she got New Year's Eve in Seattle. Her second condition was that he removed all those guns and knives from the basement. She'd only given in because she could see spending time on Harper's Island meant a lot to him. But why he would want that was nothing but a mystery to her.
And in the end, the weather had given him complete victory: A violent winter storm had made return to mainland impossible, and they had had to celebrate New Year on the island too. The holiday had been surprisingly peaceful and cozy, but she hadn't really ventured outside the house – not wanting to see anything else on the island. He had been really happy, though, so in a way it had been worth it.
Hearing the faint pop, she turned around, seeing him opening a champagne bottle.
«Oh, Henry, you shouldn't!»
«What? This is your favorite, and it's Valentine's!» He poured a glass, and she accepted it, somewhat disconcerted. He embraced her from behind, leaning his head on her shoulder. Watching as she barely nipped to the glass, he said:
«I thought you liked this one?»
«Um, I do, but... I have something to confess. Two things, actually. And I'm not sure you'll like them. I'm... not even sure you'll like me when you've heard the worst of it.»
«Come on, Abby!» he scoffed. «What could you possibly do to not make me love you? You're the most beautiful, smartest, kindest, toughest woman on this planet. You can't do anything wrong in my eyes!» He turned her around, trying to tilt her face up to him.
She resisted, not daring to look him in the eyes, and continued with downcast eyes: «No, I'll start with the worst part. I am a horrible person. You remember, when we came back to Seattle, cleaning out your and Trish's apartment? Do you remember me acting a little strange afterwards?»
«I noticed. What about it? It passed.»
«I was jealous. Of Trish. Big time.»
Lifting her eyes to his face, she could see he looked incredulous.
«Jealous? You? Of Trish? But she was dead!»
She winced. «I know! And that's what makes it so horrible. But seeing you in the flat, with all her things – I just, I felt so awful, I was scared that you'd think I was a mistake. I felt positively sick with jealousy. I wanted to smash up all her things – I'm – I'm sorry, Henry!»
«Abby – I would never think that being with you is a mistake. Never in a lifetime. There's absolutely no reason for you to feel jealous of Trish. Though I have to say I'm a little flattered.» He was smiling at her, and yes – she could tell that he was truly pleased.
Relieved and a more than little surprised, she said: «You're not mad? You don't think I'm a bad person?»
«No, you're not. You're... perfect. Just perfect.»
Sometimes, he was definitively odd. She had thought he'd be angry and disgusted, and here he was, looking happy. Maybe he was happy because he realized that jealousy meant that she loved him? And that she had done so for a long time?
«Ah, that reminds me of the other thing I have to tell you. I'm not perfect at all!»
He shot her an amused look, and told her: «You don't have any say in that. I rule that you're perfect!»
«No, Henry, this really isn't funny. I...» she stopped, anxiety clenching her guts again. God, how would he react to this?
«I can wait, I know you're perfect. Maybe you'll relax a little after we've finished the champagne?», he said teasingly.
Swallowing and taking a deep breath, she continued: «That's part of the point. I...I...shouldn't be drinking now.»
He stared at her, comprehension dawning slowly on his face.
«You mean...?»
«Yeah. I forgot the damned pills again. I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be drinking.»
Crushing her to him, kissing her, he exclaimed: «That's wonderful! It'll be alright, we'll manage, Abby. I love you!»
Feeling ashamed - she still hadn't said those words to him, knowing that her lack of response had puzzled and hurt him for months – she finally whispered back: «I love you too, Henry.»
«You do?» He was all amazement, before grinning at her. «That was about time – I had almost given up hope!»
Shamefacedly, she mumbled: «I've loved you for a long time. I just didn't dare to say it, the jealousy and all. It felt so... I'm a coward, and you know it.»
He laughed, saying: «Maybe you are at that. But you're mine, now? Mine only?» Hope and love were shining out of his eyes, and she felt flutters in her stomach – what had she done to deserve such a love as his?
Squaring her shoulders, she finally chased off all the ghosts from their past, and said: «Yes, yours. Only yours.»
Xxx
I'm a sucker for happy endings. :)
But wait – there'll be an epilogue too! And I'll tell one thing in advance: In the epilogue, Henry WILL be dead.
Haha – couldn't resist saying that...