The house was void of words – an odd thing when an enormous number of Weasleys were residing under one roof. Ron and Hermione supposed that the shock of seeing Draco was too much for even Charlie to handle. Especially when the boy was on Hermione's lap, chattering excitedly about all the Christmas presents he had gotten.
"And I didn't get to open them all," Draco said, shifting against Hermione's lap so he was cradled against her, his socked feet on her leg. "But that's okay. Do you want some of presents, Hermynee?"
"That's sweet of you," she said quietly, making sure to keep her eyes on Draco because she wasn't sure if she should look at the Weasleys. "But I've got presents of my own."
"Oh, good!" Draco smiled, finally glancing up from his plate of cookies. At Molly. "I like your hair. It's red," he said. "Harry's mum's hair is red too. Did you know that?" Then Draco's face fell. "But she's not here anymore. Did you know that?" He looked glum, dropping his gaze. "So sad."
Narcissa entered the room, speaking in whispers with Lucius. They froze when they were met with a tide of red and freckles. Narcissa's frantic eyes caught Draco on Hermione's lap. Her expression betrayed her shock. Draco's pout turned into a grin as he wriggled off of Hermione's lap. "You gave him soup, Mum? He liked it?" he asked, running to Narcissa.
"Yes, dear," Narcissa murmured, trying to stop Draco from jumping in enthusiasm. "Calm down."
"Can I see him?" Draco asked, his hopeful words drenched in all the charm he could muster.
Narcissa knew all about her son's charms. "When he is feeling better, okay?" she said.
"Please?" Draco pleaded.
"Now, you don't want him to get sick again, do you?" Lucius asked softly.
"Oh," Draco muttered, pausing. "Oh, no. I don't. He should sleep, right?"
"Right," Narcissa said, nodding.
"Okay," Draco said, his voice distant as his thoughts raced. "He should sleep. He'll be all better later. Right?" He needed the assurances.
"Right," Narcissa said again, smiling faintly.
"Okay…" Draco murmured, sighing. He turned around to look at Hermione. "We'll see him after he feels better, okay?" he asked. Hermione nodded, still tense from having the Malfoys in the same room as her. Draco started with realization. "Oh, Hermynee! This is Mum! And Dad," he introduced. Then he looked up at his parents to say, "That's Hermynee and Ron. And all of this is Ron's family." He punctuated the 'all' with a wide sweep of his hand, trying to integrate the many Weasleys sitting in the drawing room. "Cool, huh?" he asked, grinning.
"Hmm…" Narcissa said, her usual grimace deepening into distaste. The tension was palpable for everyone but inexperienced Draco.
"Do you think Dragon's okay?" Draco asked.
"He's fine," Lucius reassured. "He has enough milk."
"I bet he's worried, huh?" Draco said, biting his lip out of empathy. "Do you think he's scared?"
Narcissa decided to use Dragon as an approach for a quick exit. "We could go home and check up on him," she offered helpfully.
"But I don't want to leave Harry," Draco explained importantly. "He was sad last time I left, remember?"
"There are other people to look after him, Draco," Lucius said emphatically.
Draco shook his head stubbornly. "I want to stay here," he said and stomped off to the empty space on the couch. George moved ever so slightly away from the boy, back stiff. Draco chanced a look upon George and his jaw dropped. "Hey! I know you! Remember me?"
"Hmm," George mumbled.
"I named him Dragon," Draco grinned happily, his legs swinging over the edge of the couch. "He's growing up. He's so fat!"
"Hmm," George answered, lips twitching up even as he refused to look at the boy.
"Where's your ear?" Draco asked, scooting towards George. "You don't have a ear!"
"Draco!" Lucius admonished, embarrassed for his son.
George turned to Draco. "I noticed," he said.
"Where did it go?" Draco asked, trying to touch George's face.
George swatted Draco's hand away. "I lost it," he explained.
"Wow," Draco said as he withdrew his hand. Then he brought it up to cover his own ear. "That's so weird! How did you lose it? I don't want to lose mine!" he said in alarm, covering his other ear as well.
Ron snorted, coughing to hide his amusement from his family. "Stop pestering him," Narcissa scolded Draco.
Draco shook his head. "How did you lose it?" he asked, ignoring his mother and focusing on George's fascinating absence of a body appendage.
"Got into a fight," George said simply.
"Oh…" Draco responded. "You shouldn't fight," he advised.
"I figured."
Draco nodded, sighing. He leaned his back against the back of the sofa, placing his hands on his lap and his feet sticking out. He hummed quietly, wagging his feet to the rhythm. Narcissa and Lucius didn't know what to do. They didn't want to be in the same room as the Weasleys. But they didn't want to leave Draco there. They glanced at each other before sitting down on the straight-backed chairs by the fireplace, watching over Draco closely. The Weasleys stiffened considerably when they realized that the Malfoys weren't leaving. Draco was blissfully ignorant.
"It's so quiet," he giggled, shrugging. "You don't have to be quiet anymore. Harry's okay." While Ron and Hermione kept their smiles at bay, the rest of the occupants in the room shifted in their seats. "Where's Theo?" Draco asked.
"He's probably with Harry," Hermione answered.
Draco looked puzzled. "But Harry needs to sleep," he said.
On cue, Theo walked into the room while rubbing the back of his neck tiredly. He froze when he clapped eyes on the number of people staring at him. "Oh…" he said awkwardly.
"Theo!" Draco exclaimed, jumping off the sofa. Theo caught the hurtling body before he was knocked over. "Is he sleeping?" Draco asked, hugging Theo.
"Mhm," Theo answered, extricating from Draco's arms. "He's fine," he added for everyone's benefit.
"Good," Draco said as he grabbed Theo's hand and pulled him towards the couch. "Sit with me, okay?" Draco patted the sofa. Theo smiled wanly, complying with Draco's wish. Draco struggled back onto the couch, now sitting between Theo and George. "You know what we should do?" Draco asked.
"What should we do?" Theo asked.
"When Harry's all better, we should make cookies. Cimmanon cookies. Yeah?"
Theo chuckled and moved Draco to his lap. He heard a slight disapproving sound from Narcissa. He didn't care. He hugged Draco defiantly. "Sounds great," he said. Draco nodded, nestling against Theo's familiar arms. "It's cinnamon, buddy. Not cimmanon."
"That's what I said," Draco maintained. "Cinnamon."
Theo pressed a quick kiss against Draco's hair. "So… how's Dragon?" he asked.
"He's growing up! I can't lift him up anymore," Draco exclaimed. "He's too fat."
"You're taking good care of him, aren't you?"
"Yeah," Draco said eagerly. "And he can do tricks! He can roll over and hop on one foot. He's awesome. Right, Dad?" He looked at Lucius expectantly. He was met with a nod. "See?"
"Hmm," Theo responded.
"And," Draco added, "He misses you too."
Theo smiled fondly. "Well, make sure to let him know that I miss him too, okay?" he said.
"I'll tell him," Draco promised. Another bout of silence prevailed as Draco pondered over the whirlwind of events that had happened to him in less than twenty-four hours. In no more than five minutes, he was asleep. Theo never thought that he would be able to hold the boy again. He wanted to shower Draco with kisses, just as Harry had done. He refrained himself from making a scene, settling for hugging Draco close instead. Theo couldn't keep his euphoria down as Draco shifted against him, getting comfortable.
The slight movement made Lucius realize that Draco was asleep. He got up from his seat and walked to the couch. He held his arms out. Theo met the steely grey eyes. Lucius was taken aback by the distrust in Theo's gaze. He let his hands drop to his sides, stunned. Theo flicked his eyes away, looking at Draco and trying to keep his terror down. He didn't want to give Draco back. Not ever. Not to those people. He shrunk into the sofa, tightening his arms around the sleeping boy. Draco twitched in his dreams, sighing as he clutched Theo's shirt to keep from falling.
"I don't care what Harry said to you. I'm not letting you take him away again," Theo said firmly. "He's never wanted to live with you."
"I– I'm sorry?" Lucius asked in disbelief.
"He's never wanted to live with you," Theo repeated. "He's fine at Hogwarts."
Lucius couldn't quite understand Theo's closed expression. "I'm his father," he said.
"I'll take better care of him than you ever did," Theo countered.
Narcissa shot up from the chair. "Don't you dare talk to him that way," she said angrily. "You have no right." She strode towards them, causing Theo to stiffen in response.
Hermione got up as well, wondering if she should defuse the situation. "Theo," she murmured.
Theo shook his head and buried his face against the crook of Draco's neck. He was going to keep Draco and Harry would stop being miserable. Draco wrapped his arms around Theo sluggishly, humming in his sleep. "I love you," Theo whispered so only Draco could hear him.
Draco stirred at this. "Everybody loves me," he smiled, not bothering to open his eyes. "Everybody," he sighed, falling asleep again. Theo smiled too, hearing the soft words and feeling the warm breath. Draco was growing up so quickly. His Draco.
Hermione raised her brows at George, who happily obliged by moving off of the sofa faster than he had ever moved. Hermione sat down next to Theo and Draco. "Hey," she said softly. Theo shook his head again, trying to match his breathing with Draco's. "They're his parents, Theo," she murmured. "He needs to stay with them."
"They ruined him," Theo said, squeezing his eyes shut. "Not again."
"How dare you?" Narcissa hissed, stepping forward and trying to pull Draco away from Theo.
"Hmm?" Draco asked, waking up from all the commotion.
"You never knew a thing about him," Theo spat out, shoving Narcissa's hands away. "You never knew a thing. I was his best friend! I'm his best friend," he said, his words thick with emotion. "And if you think I'm just– I won't. I won't let you hurt him again."
Before Narcissa could pull out her wand, Hermione interrupted by saying, "He's happy with them, Theo. You should hear him talk about his home. He's happy."
"What's wrong?" Draco asked as Theo's arms nearly crushed him. "What's wrong, Theo?"
"He's my son!" Narcissa said authoritatively. "You don't even understand what we are going through wi–"
"I don't understand?" Theo asked hysterically. "You are the ones who don't understand! You don't understand how we felt! You were the ones who dragged us into this… hell! You don't understand!" he shouted, angry tears rolling down his face. "You don't understand what we– what he– when he was… you can't understand. And you're going to hurt him again! And I'm not going to watch him go through it! He's–"
"THEO!" Draco yelled, pushing away from the embrace forcefully. "NO SHOUTING!" he huffed, covering Theo's mouth with his hand. "And no crying," he added, glaring. "EVERYBODY STOP CRYING!"
"Draco, stop shouting," Harry said tiredly, his brows raised in reproach.
"You're awake!" Draco cheered, jerking out of Theo's hold and wiggling down to the ground. "Let's make cookies!" He raced towards doorway.
Harry knelt down to catch the excited boy in a hug. He chuckled, nodding. "Okay. Go to the kitchen. See if you can find the cookie cutters, okay?" he murmured.
"Yeah!" Draco said enthusiastically, now running out of the room.
Harry stood up gingerly, feeling woozy from dehydration. "I didn't realize all of you were here," he said sheepishly. "Um… I'm fine."
Ron was the first to nearly tackle Harry to the floor. "Fuck, you scared me," he whispered urgently, hugging his best friend. Ron was followed by Hermione and Ginny. Soon, the entire Weasley family was around him with worry in their words.
"I'm fine," Harry repeated. "I'm fine."
"You aren't supposed to be up," Hermione chided, wiping away her tears.
Harry blushed. "Um… I– have really… thin walls," he said hesitantly.
"Oh…"
Harry's eyes drifted to the Malfoys and then to Theo, who was still on the couch with his face in his hands. Harry's stomach plunged as he pushed past the Weasleys and moved to sit beside his boyfriend. "Hey," he murmured, wrapping an arm around Theo's shoulder.
"I'm sorry," Theo whispered. "I'm so sorry."
Harry groaned, smiling sadly. "It's okay. It's okay," he said comfortingly.
Theo quickly wrapped Harry into a desperate embrace, unable to stop his terrified heart from racing. What if Draco went back? What if they hurt Draco again? He bunched Harry's shirt in his hands, trying to keep from shouting again. Harry murmured mutedly, rubbing soothing circles on Theo's back. "Don't let them take him away," he begged.
Harry sighed, pressing a firm hand against Theo's shoulder. "He has to go back…"
Theo bit his lip as tears threatened to fall. "No," he said shakily.
"Draco's happy now, Theo. He's so much happier now," Harry tried to explain.
"No," Theo exhaled.
"He is. He can go outside now. He can play. He needs this. He needs a real home. With his parents," Harry insisted.
"You're his parent!" Theo said obstinately, wiping his eyes against Harry's shoulder before pulling away. "He needs you."
Harry smiled despite the lump in his throat. "You know that's not true," he said, clutching Theo's shaking hands. "He doesn't need me."
"He needs you like you need him," Theo responded.
Harry shook his head. "It's– it's not… can we… can we talk about this somewhere else?" he asked.
"I'd… like to hear this. If I may," Lucius interrupted. Harry looked up, startled. Narcissa appeared shocked as well.
Ron and Hermione took that as their cue to leave. "Um… we'll… we'll help Draco find the… cookie cutters," Ron stammered, quickly exiting the room while signaling for his family to follow. He wasn't met with any resistance.
Harry looked bewildered. It was one thing to talk to Theo. It was another to talk to Theo while an audience was present. Especially when the audience consisted of the Malfoys. He cleared his throat nervously. "I just meant that… I mean he– I know he's– I know he's being taken care of," he stuttered.
"You don't know that," Theo said tersely.
"What did you mean by Draco needs you?" Lucius cut in.
Harry colored brightly. "No, he– he doesn't."
"Then you need him?" Lucius asked further.
Harry shook his head. "No," he said.
"Why would you lie?" Lucius murmured absently.
Harry took at breath to clear his mind. "I'm not– it's not… it's fine. I'm fine," he said again.
"You weren't fine," Theo said helplessly. "You aren't fine, Harry. Please."
Harry clicked his tongue in frustration. "I'm fine now. I swear. As long as Draco's–" he snapped his mouth shut, swallowing his words. "I'm fine now, okay? Don't worry."
"As long as Draco's what?" Narcissa asked.
"Pardon?" Harry asked in confusion. Speaking with Narcissa and Lucius had never been his strong suits, their formidability causing his speech to leave him.
"You're fine as long as Draco's… what?"
Harry raked his fingers through his hair as he stalled, trying to find an appropriate response. "I'm– I'm fine as long as… Draco's fine. As long as Draco's… happy. I'm okay now," he said haltingly.
"As opposed to?" Lucius prodded.
"As opposed to… not okay," Harry said vaguely.
"You haven't been sleeping!" Theo insisted. "You haven't– you haven't been eating or slee– "
"Theo," Harry murmured pointedly.
"Damn it, don't shut me out!" Theo exclaimed, wanting to shake some sense into Harry. "I notice these things, okay?"
"That was before. I won't– I'm sorry," Harry said out of desperation.
"Stop saying that!" Theo snapped. "Just stop."
Harry kept silent, wincing. Lucius and Narcissa were watching the drama with a confused gaze. "You're… that affected by Draco?" Lucius asked slowly.
Harry twisted his shirt in his hands. "I'm– I– I don't know… I guess," he said.
"Oh…"
"But, like I said," Harry was quick to add, "I won't– Draco's your son and I– I won't fight over anything."
"Fight?" Narcissa asked, utterly lost.
"He has an much of a right to take care of Draco as you do," Theo said furiously.
"And what right is that?" Narcissa asked, glowering at Theo.
"He gave birth to Draco," Theo retorted.
"Theo," Harry groaned, shifting on the couch uncomfortably. "Please."
"No," Theo contradicted. "Tell them just how painful it was."
They were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Hermione said, "Um… sorry. We were just… wondering if any of you wanted some hot chocolate." She got no response. "No? Okay," she said, readying for her quick escape.
"Wait, Hermione," Theo said quickly, stopping her in her tracks. "Could you come in here for a second?"
"Y– yeah. Sure," she said with uncertainty, walking in reluctantly.
"You were there when Harry… when Draco was born. Tell them," Theo demanded.
Hermione looked stricken as she whipped her wide eyes at Harry. "N– no," she said, shaking her head in horror. "Are you serious?"
"They need to know."
"Stop," Harry said, his voice trembling. "Please, Theo."
"What are you so scared about?" Theo asked, grabbing Harry by the shoulders. "What?"
"Nothing," Harry said, feeling cornered. "I'm not – they're his parents, Theo. Why don't you understand?"
"Then what are you?" Theo asked.
Harry pulled away from Theo's grip. "I'm not– I'm just– just a surrogate," he said, his breath catching.
Hermione tsked in exasperation. "Why don't you – you… you aren't just a surrogate, Harry! You took care of him for… for half his life!" she blurted out. "You're the reason he's alive!"
"What?" Narcissa asked breathlessly.
Hermione crossed her arms against her chest, sighing despondently. "When Draco was born, he… he was… well, he wasn't breathing. A stillborn. Madam Pomfrey said it was probably because Harry's… not a woman," she started explaining, pulling faces as she talked.
Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. He stood up quickly. "Hermione," he said, clutching her hand. "Don't. It's– it's personal."
"This is about their son, Harry," she said. "They need to know."
"He's fine now, isn't he? He's okay," Harry insisted.
"Stillborn…" Lucius murmured breathlessly, his chest squeezing with fear. "No…"
Theo pulled Harry back to the sofa and held him steady. It didn't take much effort. Harry was drained and ready to pass out again. Hermione nodded. "The birth was… it seemed painful. I mean, he wasn't allowed to ingest any potions. So it was difficult. Madam Pomfrey said that Draco had most likely sustained trauma. He wasn't breathing. And – I don't know how – but Harry… made him breathe again," she finished.
Harry staved off his nausea. Even if the rest of that day was a blur, the moment he realized Draco wasn't breathing was still clear as day in his mind. He remembered the cold body, unmoving and silent. And he had felt… so terrified. As though he were about to die too. The instant he realized that he could save the baby, he didn't think twice. He was willing to die. Just to hear Draco make a sound. The instant he realized that he could save the baby, he wanted to die. So Draco could live. If he… what if he hadn't realized it?
Harry jerked to his feet, bile rising up. He ran out of the room, stumbling into the bathroom. He fell to his knees, retching heavily. It sickened him. He had been selfish enough to suggest that Draco be killed. He had been thoughtless when he was ready to die in order to stop from giving birth to Draco. His wishes had almost come true. If it had…
He gagged again, clutching his stomach.
If Draco had died…
He heard footsteps rushing towards him. He swung his hand at the door blindly, closing and locking it wandlessly. He dry-heaved into the toilet, his head pounding in time with the pounding on the door. He brushed his tears away, getting a grip on his emotions. He got up shakily and cleared his scratchy throat. He ran the water in the sink, not daring to look at his reflection lest he scare himself with how awful he looked. He took a long drink of water and rinsed his mouth out.
It didn't matter, anyway. Draco was alive. Draco was alive and well. That's all that mattered. Harry took calming breaths and made sure he wasn't going to throw up again. Then he opened the door.
A small crowd had now formed around the bathroom. Theo stopped his insistent knocking when the door opened to reveal a rather pale Harry. "Sorry," Harry mumbled sheepishly, pink tingeing his cheeks. "Um… I know you don't like… um… throw-up," he stammered. Then he glanced back at the toilet and leaned towards it, flushing. "It's just– could we… talk about something… else? Maybe?"
Theo hugged Harry vehemently. "Damn it, Potter," he muttered.
Harry grimaced as he hugged Theo back. "I– uh, yeah… didn't want to talk about it," he reminded Theo.
"No kidding," Theo said, hysteria bubbling up again. He couldn't understand why it was so hard to read Harry.
Harry extracted himself from Theo's arms with some difficulty. He was stunned to see the worry in Narcissa and Lucius' eyes, remarkably mirroring Hermione and Theo's expression. "I'm not usually this… I mean, it's still– it's still pretty fresh in my mind, you know? It's… unsettling," he tried to reason, more with himself than anyone else.
"We won't keep you from him."
Harry looked up sharply, his heart skipping a beat. "I'm sorry?" he asked Lucius.
"If you are… this affected, we won't keep you from him," Lucius said. "You've done so much for him."
Harry hazarded a look at Narcissa. She responded with a curt nod. His jaw dropped. "What are you– I– wh– what do you mean, exactly?" he asked.
"We won't keep you from visiting him," Lucius clarified. "Or contacting him. We won't stop you."
"Oh," was all Harry could manage as his stomach dropped from disbelief. "Are you sure?" he asked weakly.
Lucius smiled wanly. "Wouldn't want another episode," he said, raising a brow.
Harry ducked his head, mortified.
And that was that.
Then there were cookies and smiles, presents and stories. Through all of it, Harry was in a daze. He was going to be alright after all. Everything was going to be alright. He slid his fingers between Theo's. Everyone was going to be alright.
"Merry Christmas," he whispered shyly.
Theo refused to look at Harry, shunning his boyfriend while tightening his grip. Harry smiled. This was the best day-after-Christmas ever.
January 4: 7 years 5 months
Harry started the new year a new man. Gone were the tired eyes and grouchy temperament. He had everything he wanted.
"Hey!" he exclaimed, waving when he caught sight of Theo on the platform.
"Damned early," Theo grumbled, yawning as he walked over to Harry. He was jolted awake by an arduous kiss that had his toes curling. He staggered back when Harry let him go, all signs of sleep lost. "Whoa," he murmured in surprise.
Harry leaned in and whispered, "I have a lot more where that came from."
"Oh, Harry," Theo said suggestively. "I'll just have to wait and see, then."
"You make me sick," Ron complained, dragging his bags behind him. "Get on the train and stop making a scene. There are parents here."
"Then I'll just make a scene in the train," Harry said, sticking his tongue out at his best friend.
Theo rolled his eyes and pulled Harry onto the carriage. "All talk," he muttered.
Harry huffed in indignation. "Never," he argued. "See?" He pushed Theo into the empty compartment and slid the door shut before kissing him hungrily. Theo laughed against Harry's harsh lips, wedged between the door and a desire filled embrace.
"At least they got a room," Harry heard Hermione say, her voice muffled.
"Ugh! Hermione!" Ginny groaned, followed by Ron's sharp kick to the door. Theo jumped from the unexpected thud.
Harry smirked, snaking his hand into Theo's shirt. "Never thanked you for my Christmas present, did I?" he asked.
Theo tangled his fingers into Harry's hair. "Thank me now, then," he whispered.
"Merlin, I love my life," Harry laughed, tugging Theo away from the door and pushing him onto the seats. Theo chuckled in response, pulling Harry down by the shirt. "Everything about it," Harry sighed, straddling Theo and kissing him slowly. "Especially you."
"Where would you be without me, Potter?" Theo asked.
"Definitely not here."
Theo inhaled deeply, nuzzling Harry's neck. "I love you."
"Love you more."
"Doubt it," Theo murmured, smirking.
And that night, Harry wrote his first letter to Draco.
It's my motherf**king birthday, bi**hes! Gimme reviews! ONLY GOOD ONES! I will eat them up like cake.
But, no, seriously. It's my birthday. How could you deny me reviews?
And yes! The next couple chapters are going to be letters between Harry and Draco. Gah! Excited? I sure am!