Disclaimer: It all belongs to the Beeb. I'm having fun with Sarah Jane and Handy today. Since Rose seemed to me like the type to decide something wasn't so good once she had it. Sorry to all those Rose fans out there.
My apologies to those who are waiting on A Change for Sarah Jane Smith. It's a bit dark and my muse is in the mood for happy, less serious – dare I say it 'fluffy' stuff. I haven't lost the story – just playing a bit.
Again my thanks to Spydurwebb for the brilliant beta. This time she had to work through more rough edges than before. I'll try to do better next time.
Their visiting went on long enough that all the adults got a chance to say their goodbyes to Luke and K-9, seeing him on his return trip to Oxford. Oliver then loaded everyone but Rani into Bessie. Both Clyde and Sir Alistair could barely restrain their amusement whenever the speed they were travelling got above the limit just to see Sarah Jane cast a baleful glare and reproachfully say, "Oliver," in a tone that allowed for no argument, followed by the speed dropping.
Much to Clyde's dismay, Oliver insisted on dropping him off first, although Sir Alistair cut off any argument with a mere shake of his head. To Sir Alistair, it was clear that Oliver wanted some time alone with Sarah Jane which he would easily get on the way back to Ealing. As much as he didn't want to interfere in Sarah Jane's personal affairs, he wondered if a call to Jo would deter her quest to set Sarah Jane up with someone, but then he'd be left to explain. He decided that whoever came up with the saying was correct; discretion was the better part of valour. The whole thing was best left alone.
After seeing Sir Alistair into his house, the pair got back into Bessie and headed down the road again. Oliver was hoping that now that all the witnesses to the act had gone, Sarah wouldn't be quite so insistent about travelling the speed limit. Yet as soon as he got the tiniest bit above the posted speed, not even enough to engage any of the alien technology in the roadster, she glared at him once more.
"I don't remember you being such a stick in the mud, Sarah," Oliver complained. "You're positively Judoon like."
"I grew up, Oliver," Sarah said, arching her brow at him. "Wendy grew up."
There was obviously more going on here than obeying speed limits and it wasn't going to be a conversation that would be conducive to travelling in a car. They travelled in tense silence a bit further down the road, until a small side road triggered some recognition in Oliver. He veered off down it, the rough gravel crunching beneath the tires.
"Where are we going?" Sarah looked at Oliver in alarm and grabbed hold of a solid piece of Bessie for safety as the little car bumped and bounced down the road.
"Somewhere neutral, for a walk." He pulled up into a flat spot, stopping his beloved car. "To talk," he said finally as he set the parking break and came around to the passenger side to offer her his hand.
"Neutral?" Sarah's ire was up, and she ignored his hand, getting out on her own.
Oliver sighed, jamming his hands into his pockets before setting off toward what appeared to be the edge of a large pit. "Come along, Sarah."
She stopped, pondering whether to sit on the running board of the car and ignore Oliver out of sheer stubbornness, although as she thought about it, she couldn't decide why she was so upset with him. Taking a deep breath, she followed along until she came to the edge. "A quarry?"
"Seemed appropriate," Oliver commented as he looked back at her from a fair ways down. "Are you coming Sarah?" He continued moving down, picking his way through the grey stone gravel.
"A bloody quarry," Sarah groused. She paused, taking a deep breath to get her nerves under control. "Wait a minute, Oliver, my vertigo." She started to pick her way slowly through the rocks on the edge. He quickly ascended until he was standing next to her and held out his hand. Sarah latched onto his hand like a life line. "You have very odd ideas about appropriate places for these sorts of chats. Most people prefer to have them over a cup of tea." She looked around to the bleak landscape around them, even as the last of the sunlight faded.
"Brings back memories though, doesn't it?" he said nostalgically then gently guided her down to the bottom of the pit where it would be less dangerous to walk and talk. "Welcome to Neverland, Wendy, although it's not as pretty as one would hope." He started to walk away from her, trusting that she'd follow him.
Exasperated, Sarah followed him. "How are we supposed to talk if you keep moving so fast I can't keep up?"
Oliver slowed, and then stopped completely. There was something very telling in her statement. He still had that tendency to move so quickly that he was going to end up alone. He took a deep before turning to face her. "You said Wendy grew up. Well, so did Peter Pan, I'm afraid," Oliver said in defence of his Time Lord counterpart. "Already had, when you met up with him again. It's just more fun to act as though you're not."
"What's the point of being grown up…" they both said in unison then stopped as they realised they knew what the other was saying.
"I'm sorry, Oliver." Sarah looked at him. "I think I'm just afraid."
"Afraid of what? Sarah, I'm not going anywhere," Oliver reassured her, reaching out to squeeze her hand for a moment before releasing it once more. "Besides, where else do I have to go?" he said lightly.
"Anywhere? Everywhere?" Sarah looked at him a bit desperately. "That's what bothers me about this." She gestured at him then back at herself. "You could be anywhere, with anyone. Right now, I'm just a port in a storm."
"No you're not. I came back here to you," Oliver said determinedly, taking her hand and pulling her along. "You're Sarah Jane. Even before the meta-crisis, didn't you see how he,' he paused collecting his thoughts before starting again. "When we met up Deffry Vale, he nearly forgot Rose was even there. I'm not saying he didn't love her." He could sense the sorrow that Sarah still felt over that.
"Why her? Why not me?" Sarah had to ask, though it was a bit like ripping the scab off a wound that hadn't properly healed in thirty years, an unwise and probably life threatening proposition.
"Timing," Oliver said honestly, bending to pick up a stone then twisting it in his fingers. "It really all comes down to timing. Rose was literally in the right place at the right time. You meant more to me than anything, but I'd never really dealt with loss, not back then. The idea of keeping you with me, watching you age, knowing you would die." He pitched the stone and watched as it hit another larger stone, causing it to topple over. Sarah clapped slowly, but said nothing, merely waiting for him to continue. "You were so very close, Sarah Jane. So very close to being someone I couldn't exist without. I had to let you go." He looked back at her. "I needed to be able to think of you, still on Earth, still the same, and keep telling myself that I could go back any time."
"Even though you never did," Sarah pointed out.
Oliver nodded, "Even though I never did." He took a deep breath. "The Time War changed everything. I lost everything. Rose was there, giving me something back."
"I would have." Sarah looked down at her hands, not wanting to see his face.
"I know. Silly Sarah Jane, you got yourself in so deep, you even became like me." He reached out and brushed her cheek. "I know what happened with Peter Dalton, Sarah. That's not what I ever wanted for you."
"So you're here out of pity?" Sarah asked curtly, already withdrawing emotionally, moving away quickly to draw ahead of him.
Oliver sighed, quickly catching up to her. "Stop! Stop that!" His voice was short and his tone brought her to a halt, her head snapping up to look at him in shock. "I'm here because I want to be. I want to be here with you, Sarah. With Luke." He held her gaze now that he had it, closing the remainder of the distance between them and taking her hands in his. "You taught me how to go back." He paused. "I always thought I'd see it. What 'it' is, I don't exactly know, but I thought when I saw one of my companions older that, well, I'd see it. That thing that scared me so much back then. But when I saw you, Sarah Jane, I just saw you, nothing else. Still the same. Still wonderful. Still beautiful."
"Your Sarah Jane?" Sarah cocked her head slightly as she looked at him, wanting to ask him why he hadn't called her his since he arrived. Every time the Doctor had called her 'my Sarah Jane', it caused her heart to beat faster in her chest. Oliver had yet to call her that since he'd arrived. It hadn't escaped her attention.
Oliver grinned as a cover, knowing what she wanted, but not certain how to explain to her why he hadn't. "When I first saw you that day, did you see the smile on my face? You must have thought me an idiot when you walked up to me. I looked at you like a boy looking at a pinup, stumbling over my own words."
"When I let myself think about it, I was flattered, before I knew it was you." Sarah smiled, but was a little disappointed when he didn't say what she needed to hear. "I just assumed you must have been a fan back when I was working for Planet 3, before all of that uncomfortable business."
"Oh I've always been a fan, Sarah," Oliver rumbled, a soft smile crossing his lips. "So are we better now?"
"I don't think we were..." Sarah started to deny the issue, then let out a little puff of breath. "Yes, we're better now."
The tension went out of Oliver, relieved beyond belief. "Then let's get back to Bessie and get home, it's gotten very dark on us." He kept her hand tucked in his and helped her back up the side of the quarry, being very careful to find the safest route up without upsetting her vertigo. Even once they reached the gravel path, he didn't release her hand nor did she draw it away as they moved back to the yellow roadster. Oliver helped her up into the passenger side before crossing back to the driver's side and taking his place beside her.
"Oliver," Sarah Jane spoke softly, not wanting to backtrack but unable to help herself. "Are you certain this is what you want?"
"Yes." Oliver looked at her sincerely. "Yes, I want to teach at Park Vale. No, I don't want anything more to do with UNIT than you do. Yes, I like hanging about with Rani and Clyde. Yes, I want a life with you and Luke, Sarah. Yes, I know you'll need some time to get used to the idea. And finally, yes, I really do want to crank Bessie up to an indecent speed and 'blow the carbon out'."
Sarah blinked, taking in all his words. She reached out and found a good hand hold then smiled at him mischievously. "Come on then Oliver, pull the stick out."
"Oh very clever." Oliver stuck his tongue at her and then focused his gaze on the road ahead. "Allons-y!" he shouted as he pushed Bessie up to high gear, then engaged the overdrive, sending them hurtling down the road at an insane velocity causing Sarah Jane to cry out in delight and hang on even tighter than before.
They arrived back on Bannerman Road surprisingly without incurring any speeding fines. Oliver pulled the car into the drive, then in a very gentlemanly manner came around to the passenger side to help Sarah out once more, even though he knew she didn't need the assistance.
This time Sarah took his offered hand. "Thank you, kind sir," she said with a slight giggle, then leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek, playing along with his chivalrous behaviour. "Not exactly a normal Sunday evening drive."
"Ah well, some normal things are overrated." Oliver said as he tucked his hands into his pockets, a broad smile on his lips. He could still feel where her lips touched his cheek. "And some are exceedingly under appreciated." He followed along behind her to the front door. "Unfortunately," he yawned, "I think I'd best get some sleep unless I want to make a bad impression on my new employer in the morning."
Sarah found his yawning contagious as she unlocked the door and they headed inside. "Oh now look what you have me doing."
"Well then perhaps we should go to bed," Oliver said plainly. Sarah looked at him, her brow arching up at him at his apparent ill choice in words. "Well, you can't blame a bloke for trying," he teased instead of back tracking.
"No, I don't suppose I can." Sarah ducked her head, a slight blush on her cheeks. She looked up at him once more, her eyes asking him for patience.
His smile softened, even as he continued to look into her eyes. They were standing close enough that he imagined he could feel the heat from her body, feel her soft breath, and hear her heartbeat. "Goodnight, Sarah," he whispered.
"Goodnight, Oliver," she said just as softly. They stood still again, neither of them wanting to leave the others presence but knowing they had to. After a moment, he forced himself to finally turn and head upstairs to his own room.