I am so, so sorry about not updating for so long. I just *shrugs*. Okay, I don't really have any excuses.

On another note, I've hit a minor case of writer's block about what to do after the next chapter. Any ideas (except Danny and Danni taking over the GZ or releasing Daddy) would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, and sorry again. -Corona

"Oh, Clooooockwoooooork!" I sing-songed. His lair loomed before us in a way that would have been intimidating if we hadn't been used to us. To the Phantom twins, his creepy floating castle was as welcoming as an old lady's kitchen.

"We have something to talk about," sang Danni.

But was it Clockwork who came out to talk with us? No. It was one of the Observants, the slightly (okay, very) creepy eyeballs-on-sticks who once tried to eliminate me, boss Clockwork around, have functioned as the Ghost Zone's ruling council since winning the War of Power and who, despite having no visible mouths, never shut up.

The Observant narrowed its eye at us, which poses another anatomical question: most of the time, they don't have eyelids. Seriously, they just have one ginormous eye above their robes that can turn a full 360 degrees. I've seen the back of their heads (or eyes. Whatever) and there's no skin there, just creepy back-of-the-eye stuff. So where do the eyelids come from when they want to glare at people? It's just weird.

You would think that, being a halfa, I'm used to illogical body types, but I'm not. I might switch between forms like a normal, fully human or fully ghost person changes clothes, but both my bodies are totally logical. Everything is where it's supposed to be, and I don't just randomly sprout spare body parts just to glower at people. That would be really, really creepy.

Have I mentioned that Observants creep me out?

"What are you doing here?"

Another thing about Observants: they don't like me. Or Danni. Or our relationship with Clockwork. Or just about anything about us.

The feeling's mutual.

"We're looking for Clockwork," Danni explained, deliberately ignoring its rudeness.

"What a coincidence," commented a dry, sarcastic voice. "You've found me."

Predictably, the Observant ignored Clockwork (which was rather rude, since it was his tower). It kept glaring at us. Danni and I floated awkwardly over to our friend, trying to ignore the other spirit. Unfortunately, the Observant made that rather difficult by flying between us.

"I will not allow you to use his emotional weakness to learn about your parentage," it sniffed.

Clockwork snorted. "Once again you've proved your ignorance. They already know about Pariah."

The Observant's eye grew even larger (How? It doesn't have eyelids. Was its eye actually growing in size?) "What?" It shot forward to Clockwork, jabbed him in the chest. "You were explicitly forbidden-"

"I'm quite aware of that." His voice was impassive as always, but I knew him well enough to detect the slight undercurrent of mischievousness. Clockwork and the Observants have a long-standing relationship of mutual loathing, and he likes nothing more than to get under their skins. "Believe it or not, I had nothing to do with their discovery." His lips quirked before settling into an indifferent line.

The Observant was not amused. Danni and I were torn between laughter and horror- we knew these spats could get ugly, but the full-ghosts' expressions were just so funny. We compromised by staying silent and hoping they didn't notice us.

Fat chance of that happening.

The eyeball-on-a-stick gestured wildly at us. "Don't lie, Clockwork! We all know you had something to do with it. Your closeness to the little brats-"

The time ghost's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You will show your prince and princess the proper respect."

My brain shut down. Prince and princess. Half-breed or not, I was a freaking prince. Sure, Sam had joked about it earlier that day, but none of us had taken her seriously. Because the thought of me, goofy Danny Fenton-Phantom, as royalty was just too absurd.

And even worse, I wasn't just royalty. Pariah Dark was the King of AllGhosts. All, as in, every single spirit in the Ghost Zone. All six billion of them. As his son (the thought was alien in my mind), I was Royalty. Or maybe even ROYALTY.

I could feel another meltdown in the making.

The Observant freaked. Its body swelled until it was fifteen feet tall. Lightning cracked at the skirt of its robes. Its eye narrowed into a thin slit, the eyelid materializing once again. My ghost sense went off- it had dropped its shields, revealed its true power.

My guardian was unimpressed. "A temper tantrum. How very mature."

"Uh, Clockwork," hissed Danni, "I don't think that's a good-"

"Silence, brat!" snapped the eyeball. It pointed at her. A streak of lightning bolted from its finger.

Fortunately, Danni is a lightning elemental (and fire and ice and wind, but those weren't exactly applicable at the moment). She caught the electricity with ease, green eyes narrowing dangerously. The lightning bounced in her hand, ready to rebound.

"ENOUGH!" Clockwork dropped his own shields. His power washed over us, cold and ancient as Time itself. A second later, Danni dropped her own shields, and I realized with a start that my friends were almost equal in power. They were certainly stronger than the Observant. Then I realized I was gaping and lowered my own shields. It was more a show of support than anything else- Clockwork and Danni were more than capable of handling our enemy.

For a few seconds we floated there. No one was willing to give in. The Observant's eye darted from me to my sister to our friend and protector. The lightning on its robes dimmed, vanished.

"I must inform the Council of this… development," it declared icily. A horizontal slit appeared in the air behind it. The slit opened into an eye, and the Observant retreated.

"…That could have gone better." My voice trailed off into nothing.

"Yeah," mumbled Danni. The lightning in her hands dissipated. "You're probably right."

Cue awkward silence.

Finally Clockwork shrugged. "Come inside, younglings."

Normally I would have teased him about calling us younglings when he was in child form, but it really didn't seem appropriate right then. We went inside, still silent.

Questions bubbled through my mind. What was he like? I mean, besides being a psychopathic tyrant bent on destroying the universe for no immediately apparent reason. What was his personality like? Where did he come from? Did he have any siblings, parents, other secret children? What exactly did it mean that Danni and I were Dark royalty? It obviously meant something- look at what Clockwork had said to the Observant.

But what I said was, "Why did they let us survive?"

He smiled ruefully. "Right to the heart of the matter, I see." He paused, thinking.

"When Pariah's blood was first stolen, they had no idea what had happened to it. Theories ranged from evaporation to espionage. They had no way to know for certain- their information network was practically nonexistent, completely decimated by the war." He raised a hand, forestalling our comment. "And they could not ask me, because I was only a few years dead. My powers weren't developed enough to track down the blood."

We didn't say anything. It was extremely rude to ask how a ghost had died or about the development of his powers. It was like asking a total stranger how they experienced puberty.

"When nothing happened, they assumed that it had merely evaporated and almost completely forgot the incident. Then we became aware of Corporal C-29's mission. The Observants immediately ordered me to predict what the blood's return implied…."

One of the viewscreens sprang to light. My fourteen-year-old self, dressed in a very familiar battle suit, flew through the Ghost Zone towards a twisted red castle. The image changed, and the younger Danny Phantom forced Pariah into the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep.

"They were not pleased about a child with Dark's blood, much less two, but they eventually admitted that if Pariah were to escape, it would be better to let you fight him than to begin a second war. However, once you had defeated him, they grew afraid. Child or not, you were- are- extremely powerful. Things grew even worse when they foresaw Danielle's return." Clockwork scowled, gripping his Time Staff more tightly. "Of course, I am not allowed to speak the truth of what happened next, and only a royal order can overcome the Council's command."

"But Pariah is locked- oh." Danni blushed. "Well, uh, consider yourself royally ordered."

"Times two," I agreed.

Tension I hadn't even realized was there faded from his shoulders. He gestured to a very familiar Fenton Thermos. In the medieval gloom of his lair, the modern machine looked out of place. "Do you have any idea how obscure that timeline was?"

My jaw sagged.

"I knew it!" yelled Danni. She threw her arms around my neck. "I knew it was a scam!"

"Obscure?" My voice was soft, high, pathetic.

Clockwork nodded. "Extremely obscure." His face softened. "Your timelines diverged in the Fenton Portal. You kept forgiving those who hunted and hated you; he grew bitter and angry even before the explosion. Trust me, Danny- you are two very different people."

My head was spinning. I sat down, unable to take it all in. Pariah Dark, I could handle that (okay, maybe not, but I could try), but… this?

"You know most of what happened after that- the Observants gave me guardianship of Danny Phantom." He smiled at Danni. "They just never said which one."

She smirked. "So that's how I ended up in Vlad's cloning chamber."

"My head hurts," I complained.

Clockwork nodded. "Yes, I imagine you're a bit overwhelmed."

"As always, your talent for understatement astounds me."

He smiled, held out a gear-shaped medallion. I accepted it gratefully. "How long?"

"You have all the time in the world." He gestured to Danni, who was taking all this a lot better than I was (probably because she'd always known she was an experiment), and they floated out of the room, leaving me alone with my whirling thoughts.

I was a project. Dan was a scam. Natalia Fenton was my mother. Pariah Dark was my father. Danni wasn't a clone. All my deepest-held beliefs were crumbling, dying. What would I learn next- that Lancer was a five-hundred-year-old space alien at the forefront of a bloody invasion? The way things were going, I wouldn't be surprised.

My half-life was a lie.

I don't know how long I sat there trying to process everything. It was irrelevant anyways- in Clockwork's tower, time doesn't matter. Still, it must have been hours of silent concentration, moving only to uncramp muscles and shift position.

Finally I removed the medallion, shifting back into the world of motion. I hadn't exactly accepted everything- that would take a long time- but I wasn't going to lose it in the near future (unless, of course, Lancer was a five-hundred-year-old alien).

I flew after Danni and Clockwork into the main viewing hall, where they were watching my battle with Pariah Dark again. I flew up to join them. "Do you have to watch that?"

"Yes."

Clockwork turned, frowning in a way that made me very nervous. "Lovely," he murmured under his breath. "Five… four… three… two…one…."

"CLOCKWORK!"

The door burst open to reveal three Observants in full twelve-foot, lightning-covered, generally grouchy forms. I'd never admit it, but they looked pretty intimidating.

Danni crouched, ready for battle. Her tension was almost palpable- after all, one of these (I couldn't tell which; Observants are pretty indistinguishable) had tried to electrocute her.

"There's no need to yell," the time ghost groused. "I'm not deaf, you know."

Normally the Observants are very coordinated. They share a collective consciousness, kind of like ants or bees but without a queen. This lets them speak one at a time, which is kind of dizzying if you're not used to it. Now, though, they were so flustered that they were speaking on top of each other.

"-INSOLENT-"

"-ROYALTY, ABSURD-"

"-COUNCIL COMMANDS-"

"-HALF-HUMAN BRATS-"

"-MORE LIKE DARK SPAWN-"

"TODAY! THIS IS NON-NEGOGIABLE!"

"Shut up!" I yelled at them, and miracle of miracles, they actually shut up. It was the first time they'd ever listened to me. That was so wrong it wasn't even gratifying.

All three Observants were doing this creepy eyeball-anger-twitch thing. I could tell that they wanted nothing more than to come over and strangle me. When the middle spirit spoke, its words were punctuated with utter loathing.

"We of the Council-request-" Its entire body twitched. "-the presence of Lord Clockwork and-" It twitched again, fists convulsing. "-the pr- his wards- at our next meeting, to be held this day at nineteen hundred hours." Literally trembling with rage, the eyeball and its retinue floated out of Clockwork's lair, slamming the door so hard that the viewscreens shook.

It was a serious déjà vu moment- one second there was an angry Observant yelling at us, then it was gone and we were left floating in awkward silence. Then Danni broke it by summing up all our thoughts.

"Well, that could have gone better."