Tears streamed down Mandy's cheeks as Jacob rushed out of the house; the door slammed shut behind him. A sob escaped Mandy's lips as she leaned against the wall, allowing herself to fall to the floor. Mandy wiped away the tears from her eyes, she threw her head back, as she took a deep breath. She tried to calm herself down as she sat upon the floor. Her hand fell upon her stomach; she had only hoped that things would have been perfect that night so she could have told Jacob about the baby. Taking a deep breath Mandy stood up and slowly turned towards the stairs and made her way over to the steps. Mandy grabbed onto the railing when she was only a few steps from the stairs. Suddenly she felt as though her legs would give way, shaking the feeling off she started to walk towards the first step. She barely made it below the stairs when she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She grabbed onto her stomach as she cried out in pain. She fell to the floor on her knees, a vase crashing to the floor beside her as she bumped into the table. As another sharp pain went through her she let out a scream once more, her breathing began to become jagged. Tears filled her eyes, "My baby," she breathed out before everything went black, her body collapsing upon the floor.
Lindsay slowly sat up; she leaned back against her pillow as she propped it up. She'd been lying there for hours just staring up at the ceiling. Thoughts of what had happened that night running through her mind. Lindsay held her head in her hands as tears filled her eyes once more. It was at times like this when a part of her wished she hadn't let herself fall for James when she had. She hadn't really realized she had feelings for him until she was with Adam, and by then it was too late to mention anything. Only months ago she allowed herself to finally tell James the truth, but only after she knew he had felt the same way. It seemed so easy just to be with James, despite the fact that Adam was still around. She had to admit she loved every moment with him when they were actually happy together. However, it was when things like what had happened that night, that made her wish none of it had happened. If it hadn't, Adam wouldn't be dead because of her and she and James wouldn't have been torn apart either.
Lindsay sniffled as she slowly shut her eyes; she really wished everything could go back to the way it was. At least she wouldn't feel so upset like she did right now. Taking a deep breath she stood up and walked towards the bathroom. As she walked past the door to the bedroom she heard a loud crash downstairs, followed by a scream of pain.
In a panic she ran down the hall to the stairs. As she reached the landing she looked down at the bottom of the steps, stopping dead in her tracks at the sight before her. Lindsay felt her breath get caught in her throat as she stared down at Mandy's lifeless form upon the floor. Quickly shaking off the feeling she rushed down the steps and over to where Mandy was. Lindsay lifted Mandy upon her lap, "Mandy? Come on hun, wake up..." Lindsay cupped Mandy's chin as she turned Mandy's head so she was facing Lindsay. "Mandy, please wake up." Lindsay said breathlessly as tears filled her eyes again. Lindsay looked frantically around the room, where was Jacob, she thought to herself. "Jacob?" Lindsay yelled out. She sat there in the silence as she waited to hear his rushed footsteps, but everything in the house lay still.
As Jacob drove farther out of town, he couldn't help but to think of Mandy. The look on her face as he left her almost an hour ago broke his heart. He knew that what she'd done had happened a really long time ago, but it still hurt.
An exasperated sigh escaped his lips as he continued to debate whether or not he should turn back. A smile grew on his lips for a moment as he thought of the last time they were happy together, before everything had fallen apart. They hadn't really had any time to enjoy themselves since everything with Adam and Lindsay had happened, he'd hoped things would have gotten better so things could go back to normal, at least for him and Mandy.
The door to Mandy and Jacob's room flew open as the two of them blindly made their way inside. Jacob closed the door as he kissed Mandy on the lips. Mandy placed her hands on Jacob's shoulders and slid her arms down his shoulders as his jacket fell off. She then started to unbutton his shirt, kissing his chest lightly as she unfastened each button. As Mandy took off his shirt, Jacob pulled her close, bringing his lips to hers again. His hand ran down her back before he untied her dress and let it fall to the floor. Slowly they made their way over to the bed, and lay down. Mandy unbuttoned Jacob's pants and he quickly took them off.
The two of them continued to kiss as their bodies lay tangled under the cold sheets. Jacob pulled away and began kissing Mandy's neck once more. "Jacob..." Mandy said quietly.
"What?" he managed to say as he continued to kiss her neck.
A small giggle escaped Mandy's lips as he continued to do so, "Come on…"
Jacob groaned a bit as he reluctantly pulled away, "What's wrong?" He asked as he looked down at her.
"Nothing," she said as she shook her head. Jacob gave her a knowing look before she sighed. "I don't know, I've just been thinking about what you said the other night. About having a baby," she said as she looked away from him for a moment.
Jacob frowned a bit, "Do you not want to?" he asked sadly.
"No, no, it's not that," Mandy said quickly. "I mean, I'd love to, of course, its just – the thought kind of scares me sometimes."
"About having a baby with me?" Jacob asked in confusion.
"No, just the thought of having a baby," Mandy said as Jacob took her hand into his.
"If you're not ready it's okay," Jacob said in understanding. "I just want you to know that I want all that with you, I always have."
Mandy smiled up at him, "And I want that too, which is why I brought it up. I'd love to have a family some day, and I'm hoping that it'll be sooner than later."
A smile grew on Jacob's lips before he leaned down and kissed her. He pulled her close and kissed her neck lightly again as he wrapped her into his arms.
Mandy wrapped her arms around his neck, "I will always love you," she whispered quietly into his ear.
Despite his best efforts to find a reason to leave, Jacob couldn't think of any reason why he'd want to leave her. He'd fallen in love with her the first moment he saw her, and it may not have been that way for her then, but he knew she felt the same way now. As he came to an intersection, Jacob turned his car around and drove back the way he came. He could only hope he hadn't upset her too much after he'd left.
Lindsay struggled to get Mandy out of the car as she pulled up in front of the hospital. She made her way into the hospital as best she could. "I need a doctor!" she said in a panic as she walked inside.
Two men walked up to her and picked up Mandy, placing her carefully on a stretcher. "What happened?" one of the men asked as they rushed through some double doors.
Lindsay quickly followed, "I don't know, I walked downstairs and found her unconscious." Lindsay stopped dead in her tracks as a thought came to her, "Oh my gosh-"
"What is it?" the other man asked her.
"She's pregnant," Lindsay said, panic rising in her voice. "You don't think it's because of that, do you?"
"It could be, but we won't know until we look at her. Why don't you sit in the waiting room, someone will notify you as soon as we know anything about her condition."
Lindsay nodded as she watched them disappear down a corridor. Her eyes filled with tears as she fell into a chair.
The front door flew open as Jacob rushed in. "Mandy?" he yelled as he walked inside. The only sound he heard was the sound of his echo in the foyer. A worried look crossed his face as he made his way upstairs. "Mandy?" he yelled out before opening the door to his bed room. The room lay still, the bed hadn't even been unmade yet, considering how late it was now. He made his way down the hall to Lindsay's room but found no one there.
Jacob walked back downstairs as the phone rang. He quickly answered it, "Hello?"
"Is this Mr. Jagielski?" the person on the other end questioned.
"Yes, this is him." Jacob said in confusion.
"This is Dr. Shepherd, down at Tree Hill Hospital. We admitted a Mrs. Mandy Jagielski about an hour ago. A Mrs. Lindsay Roe asked if I called you."
Jacob felt as if everything around him was spinning, "Is she okay?" he managed to choke out.
"She appears to be fine; we are waiting for her to wake up right now. Your wife was found unconscious earlier tonight, which after we looked over her I'm guessing it's from the amount of stress she was under. We'll need to run some more tests after she wakes up, but I don't see why she won't be fine."
"Okay, thank you. Can you let Lindsay know I'll be over soon?"
"Yes, I will."
"Thank you." Jacob said as he hung up the phone. He collapsed onto the couch, he sighed as he held his head in his hands. He couldn't help but think this had happened to Mandy because of him. Maybe if he hadn't left that night, nothing would have happened to her. A sigh escaped his lips once more as he ran his fingers through his hair. Quickly he got up and headed out the door.
Jacob ran through the door to Mandy's room, Lindsay looked up as she heard him come in. "Jacob..." she said quietly as she stood up.
Jacob gave her a small smile as he walked over and gave her a quick hug. "Is she okay?"
"I believe so, they haven't told me much considering I'm not her family or anything. They're just waiting for her to wake up now."
Jacob sighed, "This is all my fault." He said guiltily as he sat down in a chair beside Mandy's bed.
"How is this your fault?" Lindsay asked in confusion.
"If I hadn't left tonight, she probably would be fine. They said it was because of all the stress she was under."
"Jacob, she's been really stressed from the events this past month; it couldn't possibly be your fault." Lindsay said reassuringly.
"I just wish I hadn't left like that, I know it upset her." Jacob said as he held his head in his hands.
"I'm sure you two can talk everything out after she wakes up." Lindsay said as she placed her hand on his arm.
"Yeah, I just feel bad about how I reacted." Jacob sighed, "Lindsay?"
"Yeah?" Lindsay asked.
"Did you know about…you know? Jonathan?" Jacob asked sadness apparent in his voice.
A frown appeared on Lindsay's lips, she nodded slowly. "Mandy told me after she'd left him. She only asked that I never spoke of it though. It hurt her enough knowing she'd done it, the last thing she'd wanted was to hurt you; especially by that." Jacob nodded. "You know she loves you more than anything, right Jacob?"
"Yeah," he said with a small smile.
"You know, I don't know if this is my place to tell you this, but-" Lindsay paused for a moment as she looked down at her lap.
"What is it?" Jacob asked.
Lindsay took a deep breath before she took Jacob's hand into hers. "Tonight was more than just you two enjoying yourselves again, at least to Mandy. She had something she wanted to tell you."
"What did she want to tell me?" Jacob asked.
A small smile spread across Lindsay's lips, "She's pregnant, Jacob."
Jacob stared at her in astonishment for a moment as he took in what Lindsay had just said. "Really?" he asked quietly. Lindsay just nodded. A smile spread across Jacob's lips as he tried to figure out what to say.
"Well?" Lindsay prodded as she waited him for him to say something.
"I don't know what to say, I mean, I've wanted this for so long. It's just kind of hard to believe its finally happening."
Lindsay smiled, "Yeah."
(The next day)
Lindsay let out a yawn as the two of them sat there by Mandy's bedside.
"Why don't you go and get some rest." Jacob said in concern.
Lindsay shook her head sleepily, "No it's okay. Besides I don't want to leave, I want to be sure she's okay."
Jacob nodded, "Listen, Lindsay. I just wanted to thank you, for everything you did for Mandy tonight."
"What do you mean?" Lindsay asked.
"Well if it weren't for you, something might have happened to Mandy. God knows what would have happened by the time I got there."
"It's not a problem, I should be thanking you two for being so great to me with everything's that has happened." Lindsay sighed, "I've been thinking, maybe I should find a place of my own."
"Why would you do that?" Jacob asked, "You're always welcome to stay at our house."
"I know, and I really appreciate that, but – I don't want to be a bother to you two. I mean you're going to be having a baby soon, and I really need to move on from what's happened. I haven't mentioned anything to Mandy yet, but I think I might leave."
"Leave?" Jacob asked in confusion.
Lindsay nodded, "There's not much left for me here, with Adam gone. And I think I need to get away so I can move on."
"What about James?" Jacob asked.
"What about him?" Lindsay said as she felt a lump grow in her throat.
"It's obvious you two have feelings for each other. Why would you leave now, when you could start a new life with James?" Jacob asked.
Lindsay frowned, "Trust me; he made his feelings for me quite clear last night. That's not going to happen."
"Oh. Well I'm sorry, Lindsay. I know how much he meant to you."
"I think we lost our chance a while ago, it just wasn't meant to be." Lindsay said quietly as she looked down at her lap. "Um, I'm going to go get some coffee, want any?"
"Sure." Jacob said with a small smile.
"Okay, I'll be right back." Lindsay said as she stood up and walked out of the room. As she turned the corner she stopped there for a moment. She leaned against the wall as tears filled her eyes. Quickly she regained her composure and took a deep breath before walking down to the waiting area. As she walked through the door, she looked up, only to find the two people she really didn't want to see at the moment.
Amber walked through the hospital doors, with James right behind her. She scanned the room only to look eyes with Lindsay.
Lindsay quickly looked away and headed over to the counter. She asked for hers and Jacob's coffee, pretending not to have noticed the couple.
Just then James walked up behind her, "Lindsay?" he asked quietly.
Lindsay took a deep breath, "Yeah?" she asked. Not turning to face him at all.
"Listen I-" James said before Amber walked up.
"We heard about Mandy, is she alright?" she asked as she stood next to Lindsay.
Lindsay turned to her, "Yeah she'll be fine." She said with a small smile. "No thanks to you," she mumbled under her breath.
"What?" Amber asked.
"Nothing," Lindsay said as she shook her head. She grabbed the two cups of coffees, "Well I need to head back now, guess I'll see you two around."
"Well can't we go see her?" Amber questioned.
"They're only allowing a few people in the room at once," Lindsay said quickly. "Sorry," she said quietly before she turned and walked away.
Lindsay walked into Mandy's room with hers and Jacob's coffee, only to find him fast asleep. She walked over and set the cups down on the table. Lindsay leaned against the table as she took a deep breath. The last person she wanted to see right now, was James. She could try her best to avoid him, but even she knew he'd find a way to talk to her. She sighed as she picked up one of the cups of coffee and took a sip. Behind her she heard some rustling and turned around, "I brought you your coffe-" Lindsay stopped short as she looked over at the bed. "Mandy?" she asked quietly.
"What happened?" Mandy managed to say.
"Oh my gosh, thank god you're okay!" Lindsay said in excitement as she rushed over to the bed and wrapped her arms around Mandy.
"I might not be in a second if you choke me to death." Mandy said.
Lindsay pulled away, "Sorry," she said with a laugh. "You had me scared earlier."
"That's my job," Mandy said with a smile.
Just then Jacob stirred, he looked up sleepily. He sat up quickly as he looked over at Mandy, "Mandy?" he asked.
"Hi," Mandy said with a small smile.
A smile grew on Jacob's lips, "Hi…" he said as he stood up and walked over to her. He kissed her softly on the lips before he wrapped her in his arms. "Thank god you're okay," he said quietly. He finally pulled away as he sat down on the bed beside her. Jacob brushed some hair out of her face as he placed his hand on her neck. "I'm so sorry, Mandy. I shouldn't have left last night."
"It's okay," she said with a small smile as Jacob leaned down and brought his lips to hers. "Jacob I-" Mandy started to say.
Jacob smiled as he looked over at Lindsay, "I know."
"You know about the baby?" Mandy asked.
"Yeah, I'm sorry I ruined that all last night." Jacob said.
"Why are you sorry? She's the one who ruined it." Mandy said as she pointed to Lindsay.
"What?" Lindsay asked.
"I was so excited to tell him and you had to go and tell him." Mandy said matter-of-factly.
"Well sorry..." Lindsay said quietly.
Mandy smirked, "Aw I'm only kidding Linds."
Jacob laughed, "Well I'm glad she told me."
"Well at least someone is," Lindsay said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Mandy laughed, "I am too, okay?"
"You better be," Lindsay said.
Mandy smiled as she took Lindsay's hand into hers, "Thanks Lindsay, for everything."
(Later that night)
Lindsay finally stopped laughing as Jacob walked in. She and Mandy had been talking the past hour while Jacob was gone. Lindsay looked over to Jacob, "I'll let you take over from here," she said before she stood up. "I'll be right back," she said as she turned to Mandy.
"Okay," Mandy said with a nod as Lindsay walked out.
As Lindsay turned a corner she found herself running into someone else, she stumbled backwards for a second. "Oh sorry-" she said before she looked up and realized it was James. "Excuse me," she said quickly before walking past him. She started walking faster hoping he wouldn't try to stop her.
"Lindsay," James said as he followed her.
Lindsay stopped dead in her tracks; she closed her eyes as they began to water a bit. She took a deep breath, "What?"
"Can't we talk about what happened?" James asked quietly.
"I don't see any point in that, you made it very clear how you felt about everything." Lindsay said, still not turning to him.
James walked over to her, "Lindsay I didn't mean any of it, I was just upset."
"If you didn't mean it, then why did you say all of it?" Lindsay asked as she looked up at him with saddened eyes.
It's looking like a limb torn off
Or altogether just taken apart.
"If I could take it all back, I would Linds. I haven't been myself these past few days while you were gone, and I was just upset after you said we shouldn't be together anymore." James said.
"Well you can't take it back James, as far as I'm concerned you meant every word." Lindsay said bitterly.
"Lindsay, please, can't you just give us another chance? I mean, you accepted my proposal before, I thought we were going to be together finally." James said.
We're reeling through an endless fall
We are the ever-living ghost of what once was.
"That was before I realized that you still had feelings for Amber, James. I just- I can't be with someone who can't love me back." Lindsay said sadly.
"But I do love you Lindsay, you know that." James said pleadingly.
But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do.
"I'm not so sure anymore James," Lindsay said as she shook her head.
James stood there, trying to find the right words to say. "Lindsay, please…"
And anything to make you smile
It is my better side of you to admire.
Lindsay just shook her head, "I can't anymore," Lindsay sighed. "Don't you get it? You broke my heart James," Lindsay said as tears filled her eyes again.
But they should never take so long
Just to be over then back to another one.
A frown appeared on James' lips, he stood there gaping, trying to find something to say.
Lindsay looked down at the floor as she rubbed her arm nervously. She took a deep breath, "I meant what I said about not wanting to see you again James, and I'd like it to stay that way." She said with sadness in her voice before she walked past James down the hall.
And no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do.
Lindsay ran out to the front of the hospital, a cool breeze washing over her. By now the tears were pouring down her face, a small sob escaped her lips as she walked down the street.
But someone,
They could have warned you.
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down.
She didn't want things to be that way, but it was true, James had broken her heart. The last person she'd expected to hurt her had hurt her all the same. It was now that she started to think that maybe she should leave, to where she could forget about James and move on, if that were even possible.
Things start splitting at the seams and now,
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard.
Lindsay walked over to the park that was down the street from the hospital. She sat down on one of the swings, dozens of thoughts running through her mind as she thought of all the times she'd been in the exact same spot. It had been hers and James' favorite place to go as kids, and even as teenagers they'd go there just to get away, wishing they could get away from everything. Hoping everything would go away and it'd be just them. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she thought back to one of those days.
"Come on James, push me, pleaseeee," Lindsay pleaded as he continued to refuse.
"I don't want to Linds, besides you're capable of doing it yourself." James said as he leaned against the post.
"You're so mean," Lindsay said as she looked away from him.
James rolled her eyes, "And you're so dramatic, but I still hang out with you don't I?" James said sarcastically.
Lindsay scoffed, "Well if you feel that way, I don't see why I hang out with you either." Lindsay said playfully as she stood up and started to walk off.
"Lindsay, I was only kidding." James said as he walked after her.
"Whatever," Lindsay said over her shoulder as she walked faster.
"Lindsay, come on." James said in frustration. "I'm sorry okay?" Lindsay continued to walk faster, not even acknowledging him. James let out an exasperated sigh as h walked faster, "You can be so frustrating some times, you know?" He yelled.
Lindsay quickly turned around to retort but found herself falling to the ground as James bumped into her. "Ah!" she screamed as they tumbled over each other a few times. As they finally stopped, Lindsay was lying on top of James; they looked at each other awkwardly before Lindsay shook off the feeling. "Thanks for that," she said sarcastically as she tried to get up. James just laughed, "What's your problem today anyways?" Lindsay finally asked as she lay down on the grass beside him.
"What do you mean?" James asked as he looked over at her.
"I don't know, you seem kind of off today." Haley said as she played with a flower she'd pulled a moment ago.
"It's nothing," James said. "I'm just having one of those days."
"Don't you mean one of those weeks, because you've been acting weird all week?" Lindsay said.
James looked up at the sky, "It's nothing," he repeated.
"Are you sure?" Lindsay asked.
"Yeah," James nodded.
"Can I ask you something?" Lindsay asked.
"Sure," James said as he looked back over at her.
"Do you think I'll ever find someone who actually loves me? I mean, every other guy I've dated doesn't really want the same things I do."
James swallowed hard as he felt a lump grow in his throat, "I think you will, some day." James said quietly as he looked back up at the sky.
"I hope so," Lindsay said as she did the same.
Anything to make you smile
You are the ever-living ghost of what once was.
A tear fell onto Lindsay's lap as she sat there thinking of that day. She never noticed how nervous James had been around her, never really thought why he would be either. She wanted to believe him about her feelings for her, it was obvious before, but she didn't want to open up again. She didn't want to be vulnerable, and maybe even get her heart broken again. Lindsay had wanted her relationship with James more than anything in the world, and now she'd lost all chances of that.
I never want to hear you say
That you'd be better off
Or you liked it that way.
Lindsay sighed, if only things could be simple. That way she and James wouldn't have to worry about anything, and they could just be together like they both wanted. As much as Lindsay wanted to be with James again, she knew it wasn't worth it anymore. She'd hate to have to go through all the heartache they'd already gone through again. Maybe it was best if she left, she and James could both move on that way. In the end she just wanted him to be happy, and that's all that really mattered. He'd held a special place in her heart for years and even if they couldn't be together, she'd just like to see him happy.
But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do.
Lindsay walked into Mandy's room, "Hey," Mandy said cheerfully with a smile spread across her lips.
"Hi," Lindsay said quietly as she sat down.
"What's wrong?" Mandy asked in concern when she realized something wasn't right.
Lindsay sighed, "I ran into James on my way out."
"Oh," Mandy said simply. "What happened?" she finally asked.
Lindsay just shrugged, "I just told him that what I'd said that night was what I really wanted. I thought it was best we just stayed away from one another from now on."
Mandy frowned, "Is that what you really want?"
Lindsay shook her head, "No, but I don't want to open that door again. It just seems pointless if we're both going to be hurt again."
"Well you know I want you to be happy," Mandy said as she placed her hand on Lindsay's. "Whatever you want, I'll be okay with."
"Thanks," Lindsay said quietly. "Listen, I talked to Jacob about this earlier, but-" Lindsay sighed. "With the baby coming, I don't want to be a bother to you and Jacob anymore. I think I'll go stay with my sister or something."
"Why? You're welcome to stay with us Linds; you're no trouble at all." Mandy said.
"Thanks, but I think it'd be best, for yours and Jacob's sake. Besides, I want to be alone for a while, to just get over all of this." Lindsay said.
"Okay," Mandy said the sadness apparent in her voice.
"You've been really great to me Mandy, and I do appreciate it, but I just think it'll be best."
Mandy nodded slowly.
But someone
They should have warned you.
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down.
Lindsay packed up the rest of her things just as Mandy walked in. "You sure you want to do this?" Mandy asked.
Lindsay looked over at her and gave her a small smile, "Yeah."
"I'll miss you," Mandy said as she walked over and hugged Lindsay.
"I'm not going too far, Mandy. I'll come visit." Lindsay said as she hugged Mandy back.
"You better," Mandy said sarcastically.
Lindsay laughed, "Well I should go."
Mandy nodded sadly, "Yeah." She followed Lindsay out of the room, "Jacob's outside waiting for you." Mandy hesitated as they reached the front door. "You know you're always welcome here."
Lindsay nodded, "Thanks Mandy."
"Oh come here," Mandy said as she pulled Lindsay into another hug.
Lindsay laughed lightly, "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you more," Mandy said as she pulled away.
"I'm sure you will." Lindsay said as she picked up her bags. "I'll see you soon," Lindsay said with a smile as she walked out.
Mandy waved from the front door as Jacob and Lindsay drove off.
Things start splitting at the seams and now,
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard.
Song: No One's Gonna Love You by Band of Horse