I own nothing.

I love you and I wish you Merry Christmas and a very, veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery happy New Year's. I hope all of your wishes come true, and 2015 proves to be the best year of your life ... until now. ;)

Thank you so much.

A step forward

Enzo led them back home a couple of hours later, wagging his tail, jumping, running, skipping, barking playfully. He was full of energy, never growing tired, always wanting to play. Bella had already fallen in love with him, and he seemed to like her, too. Especially, after she had shared the leftovers with him.

"I have never had a pet," Bella shared, laughing at Enzo, who was rolling around on the ground.

"Did you want one?" Edward asked, their horses close to one another, and their legs almost brushing. He looked at her and saw her wistful expression.

"Probably? I don't know. I have never actually thought about it, but I suppose I would have loved a cat or a small dog, although my father never wanted a pet. He loved horses, but that's it."

She chuckled softly, then, seeming to remember something amusing.

Edward turned to her. "What is it?"

"I just remembered what once happened to my sister. She saw a squirrel in Hyde Park when we both went for a walk, and she quickly ran to the poor animal. She scared him so badly that the squirrel jumped onto her head and got tangled in her hair. Between her shrieking, flailing and my laughing, we managed to get the squirrel out of her hair." She suddenly covered her mouth, her shoulders shaking with laughter.

Edward found himself smiling at her obvious mirth. Knowing how dramatic Rosalie could be, he could picture the entire scene – Rosalie waving her arms around, trying to get the animal out of her hair, Bella helping her while silently laughing.

"Did I forget to mention that she fell into the lake, too?" Bella said through her fingers.

Edward laughed, now the picture complete.

"That's when she decided that animals are troublesome. Right there, between the ducks and the weeds." Wiping a tear from the corner of her eye, she sighed deeply. "I miss them," she whispered mostly to herself.

He didn't know if he was supposed to hear that, so he didn't say anything. He knew she missed her family and realized how hard it must for her to be separated from them. Probably, for the first time ever. Surprising as it was, he felt relieved that he was back home, away from all those prying eyes, from his conflicting emotions and everything London and its peers entailed.

"I have an idea," he announced.

Bella raised an eyebrow skeptically. "You do?"

"Do not look so incredulous. You may even like it."

"Let me be the judge of that. What did you have in mind?"

With a grin on his face, he nudged his horse forward. "This." And then, he took off.

Bella's mouth dropped open in mock outrage. "Oh, no. You did not just do that," she yelled after him, quickly gaining speed. Enzo noticed what they were doing, and he started barking enthusiastically, following them.

She heard him laugh. "It seems that I am winning."

"You cheated," she accused him, closing the distance between them.

"You cheated first."

"When did I ever do that?" She innocently pursed her lips, trying not to laugh. She was starting to like this game, childish as it was.

He looked over his shoulder with an incredulous expression and seeing how close she was getting, his eyes widened in surprise. "How can you ride so fast?"

Bella laughed loudly, merrily. "I suppose you could call it a talent." She reached him and rode past him. And as she did, she said, "Something you do not seem to have. I will see you home, Edward. Come with me, Enzo."

Edward shook his head in disbelief, watching as she rode faster and faster. "Hell's bells," whispered under his breath. His eyes dropped to Enzo, who was also running past him. Realizing that he would be, in fact, the last one to reach the house, he started laughing. He had found his match.

xXx

Bella swung off her horse and looked behind her. She smirked when she saw his annoyed expression and leaned over to scratch Enzo behind his ear.

"I won. Again," she said as soon as he dismounted.

"Enjoy it while it lasts. I am going to win next time."

"I am sure you will. Do you want me to show you how? You could use a lesson or two," she teased him, chuckling at his expression.

He suddenly grabbed her waist and swung her around, high enough for her feet to lift off the ground. "You really enjoy making fun of me, don't you?"

She squealed, taken aback. "You are proving to be an easy target." Laughing, she put her hands on his shoulders. "Edward, I am getting dizzy. Put me down."

He complied, but not after he spun her one more time. She shook her head in exasperation as she finally felt her feet touch solid ground. She tried to glare at him, but his grin made her smile, and she rolled her eyes at him. She hadn't known he had a playful side to him.

The groom came to take the horses away, interrupting them. Bella looked at him and noticed his pale complexion.

Edward must have noticed too, because he asked, "Are you alright, Seth?"

"Yes, yes, Milord," the groom stuttered, fidgeting. He was avoiding her husband's gaze. Hers, too. "'Tis about … about your mother."

Edward didn't wait for him to finish. He turned around and ran inside the house, anxious to know what happened to his mother. Bella gave Seth a small, grateful pat on the shoulder, and then she followed her husband. She had seen the panicked look on his face, and realized this might not be the first time something had happened to his mother.

Edward had left the main door open. As soon as she entered the house, she noticed the grim expression on Carlisle's face, and her stomach plummeted.

"Is she-" She couldn't bring herself to say that dreaded word.

Carlisle shook his head. "No, but she isn't well. She is in her room. Esme went to call the doctor."

"But what happened? Everything seemed fine yesterday."

"She has been having some medical problems lately," Carlisle told her. "I assume her trip to and from London proved to be too tiring for her, and her body collapsed. I don't know. I hope the doctor will tell us what happened, although I am a little worried about Edward. Even though he has been trying to take care of her, she keeps refusing to let him."

Bella sighed and told Carlisle she was going upstairs, to see Elizabeth. She was actually a little terrified of what she was going to see.

The door to her room was open, and she tentatively looked inside. Elizabeth seemed to be sleeping, her pale face serene. Edward was sitting on the chair next to her bed, holding her frail hand. His eyes were closed, and his jaw was clenched.

Not wanting to disrupt the silence, Bella slowly walked toward him and put her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it once. She didn't know what to say. Looking down at Elizabeth, she realized that the dowager countess looked very ill. Her skin was almost translucent and her hands were so small and fragile. Her gaze dropped to Edward, and she wondered what he was thinking.

Someone knocked on the door, and they both turned around. An old, grey-haired man entered the room.

"Edward. Milady," he acknowledged them with a kind smile. Then, he looked at Elizabeth, and his smile faltered. "How is she?"

"Not good," Edward said, his voice devoid of any emotion. "She fainted an hour ago and hasn't woken up yet. One of my servants told me she hasn't eaten anything since yesterday, and she has been feeling tired lately."

"I understand," the doctor nodded gravely, his expression somber. He looked at Elizabeth, before he turned to Edward and Bella. "Do you mind leaving us alone for a few moments?"

Edward hesitated for a second, but Bella intervened. "Not at all. We will be right outside the door." She gently touched her husband's arm, and his head snapped toward her, like he had forgotten she was even in the room. He must have seen the determination on her face, because he reluctantly nodded and followed her outside.

He closed the door after them, and then he nervously ran his fingers through his hair.

Bella watched him, not knowing how to help him.

"She is going to be fine," she whispered, wondering if she was trying to convince Edward or herself.

Edward raised his gaze to her, and he seemed so distraught and lost that her heart ached for him.

"Is she?" he asked angrily, his voice almost shaking with vehemence. She realized that his anger wasn't directed at her. "Her health has been deteriorating lately, and she doesn't care about it. She probably feels relieved. But what do I know? She never talks to me about it, about anything. If she dies tomorrow, I am positive she will die with a smile on her face."

"Edward!" Bella said softly, stunned by the fervor in his gaze and the thinly veiled hurt in his voice.

He clenched his jaw tightly and looked away from her. "When the doctor is done, tell him I am in my office."

And then he left, walking purposely toward the stairs.

Bella watched him go, wanting desperately to comfort him and make him smile again. She had never seen him so vulnerable. Her heart was telling her to go follow him, but her mind knew he needed a few moments alone before she encountered him. Besides, someone had to be near, in case the doctor opened the door. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, the silence enveloping her. It seemed that the entire house had fallen quiet, everyone wanting to find out what was wrong with the countess.

Right when she was on the brink of going downstairs, the door flew open, and Bella started.

"Milady, I didn't mean to startle you," the doctor said smoothly, closing the door after him.

"Do not worry about it. How is Elizabeth?"

He looked around, probably looking for her husband.

"He is in his office," Bella answered before he could ask.

The doctor nodded once. "Of course. Do you mind if we go find him first, and then I will tell the both of you."

Dread pooled in her stomach. She didn't like the doctor's expression, or his voice. "Follow me," Bella murmured, descending the stairs.

She didn't bother knocking on the door. She simply opened it and walked inside, finding her husband behind his desk, a glass of brandy in his hand. He quickly stood up when he saw the doctor. Edward must have seen something on the doctor's face, because his hands clenched, and the glass tipped over, spilling everywhere.

"How much longer, Eleazar?" Edward asked.

Bella's face turned white.

Eleazar shook his head in remorse. "A couple of months, I predict."

Edward looked away, nodding once. "I understand."

Eleazar sighed deeply and threw Bella a look full of compassion. He squeezed her hand before he went to Edward.

"You know how much I wish I could help," the doctor whispered soothingly. "The only thing she really needs right now is rest."

"I know. There is nothing else you can do." Edward turned to look at Eleazar and offered him his hand. "Thank you very much."

Eleazar shook his hand, but then pulled Edward into a hug, wrapping his arms around him before letting go. Edward hadn't even had time to process what was happening, before the doctor pulled away and walked toward the door.

"If you need anything, do not hesitate to call me, Edward. You know you can count on me for anything."

"Thank you again, old friend."

Then, Bella and Edward were left alone. Her mouth was open, and her eyes were wide in shock. There was a lump in her throat, and she could feel her eyes stinging with unshed tears. For Edward. For Elizabeth. She looked at Edward, disbelieving, watching him bury his face in his hands.

"She is dying?" she whispered, scared that her voice would break if she raised it.

He raised his face from his hands and met her gaze, remorseful and upset. "Yes. I have known for awhile, but I didn't want to believe it. Now, that seems quite impossible to ignore, considering what just happened. I-I don't know. I don't bloody know what to do," he admitted quietly. "I-I need to go check on her, in case she is awake," he continued immediately, walking past her and out the door.

xXx

Bella couldn't fall asleep. She threw the covers off her body, and they fell silently to the floor. Her mother-in-law was dying, and she didn't seem to quite grasp that knowledge. Edward had spent the rest of the day inside his mother's room, and Bella hadn't wanted to interrupt them. Besides, she had no idea what she was going to say to her. Even though the woman was obnoxious to her, Bella had gotten used to Elizabeth's changeable demeanor, her sharp retorts or harsh disdain. Knowing that she only had a few more months to live… it didn't feel real.

She had seen the pain on her husband's face and knew how hard this situation must be for him. Although his relationship with the dowager countess was tense, he cared for her. She was, after all, his mother, and nothing could ever change that. She didn't know what had really happened between them, but she really hoped that they would become closer now that everything was going to change.

The bed creaked on the other side of the wall, and Bella realized Edward was awake too. He had been restless since he entered his room half an hour ago.

Without giving her actions a second thought, she wrapped a shawl around her shoulders and walked toward the adjoining door. She knocked gently and opened the door a second later, without waiting for him to respond.

"Edward?" she murmured, the room bathed in darkness.

He hadn't lit a single candle, and the drapes on his windows were closed.

She heard the bed creak again, but he didn't respond, probably trying to prove that he was asleep. She couldn't be that easily fooled. Maybe he wanted to be left alone, but she knew what he was going through, even though her situation had been a little different. She might not have wanted to be comforted at that time, but her father and sister's patience and love had helped her immensely with her loss.

Closing the door behind her, she quickly walked toward his bed, feeling the cold floor underneath her bare feet. She had forgotten her slippers in her room.

It didn't matter. She carelessly threw her shawl on the ground and climbed into bed with him.

"Bella, what are you doing?" he sighed.

Her sight hadn't adjusted to the darkness yet, so she couldn't really tell how close he was, but then, she felt his body and scooted nearer to him.

"Sharing the bed with you," she answered truthfully.

"It's the middle of the night. Why are you still awake?"

"For the same reason you are," she added softly, feeling his body stiffen next to her. Gathering her courage, she placed her hand on the back of his neck. "I learned something a long time ago. You don't have to go through this alone. There are people willing to help, and you don't turn away from that."

She could feel the bed shift, and then she felt his hand at her temple, smoothing her hair back. Her eyes finally adjusted to the low light, and she could see his tender gaze.

Taking a deep breath, she wrapped her arms around his neck and crashed her lips into his, taking him by surprise. He kissed her back, but he seemed a little hesitant, his hands gently touching her back, his kiss not as passionate as the one they shared this morning. Thinking he needed a little push, she moved her hands lower and stuck them underneath his shirt. His skin was warm and smooth, and her touch made him groan inside her mouth. His response only made her bolder and her blood hotter, because her hands slowly caressed his back and moved to his tight abdomen, feeling his muscles contract under her tender fingers.

She suddenly felt the pillow under her head, and he was on top of her. Her lips opened, and she pushed her tongue inside his mouth, his own reaching out to meet hers. The pounding of her heart made her feel lightheaded, and that coupled with the building intensity of their kiss and the feel of his body against her hands, almost made her eyes roll in her head.

She struggled with his shirt, trying to take it off, her hands trembling. He grabbed her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers, pushing them against the pillow.

His lips trailed from her lips to her throat, leaving her skin flushed and sensitive. She moaned softly, her back arching off the bed and her toes curling. She didn't even seem able to think properly. She could only feel – feel his hands on her body, feel him touching her breast, his thumb grazing her taut nipple and ripping another moan from her lips. And then, his hand was moving lower, over her flat stomach before finally lifting her nightgown and touching her.

"Edward, what are you-"

"Please, let me," he whispered hoarsely, pressing his lips to hers and swallowing her soft moans and sighs of pleasure.

She yielded, her body relaxing and her legs falling apart. She had no idea what was going to happen next, but if he wanted to soothe the throbbing place between her legs, she was going to let him. The tension was almost unbearable. And then, his hand finally rubbed one particular spot on her body, and her head rolled back on the pillow.

He realized that she had completely lost control of her body, and he loved it. She writhed in his arms, while both trying to get away from his hand and struggling to get closer. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as he touched her, her eyes squeezed shut. Enjoying the pleasure on her face, he leaned down and kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around his back, her nails digging desperately into his skin as he pushed a finger inside her. Her body shuddered, and her moan filled the air around them.

"Edward," she breathed, completely lost in the storm of emotions.

"Let go, sweetheart," he whispered gently. He moved his finger slowly, realizing the pace was driving her crazy and enjoying it.

"I can't," she breathed, not even knowing what she was talking about. A fire was starting in her lower belly, sending shivers down her spine. She was desperately trying to reach something, something she had never experienced before.

"Of course you can."

And then, he added another finger inside of her, and she completely unraveled underneath him. Her breath hitched, her legs tightened around his hand and her nails on his back almost drew blood as her entire body exploded into a million pieces.

"You are so beautiful," he said, as his lips kept touching her throat, her cheeks and then, the corner of her mouth.

When she finally came down from her high, she opened her eyes and looked at him. Unable to say anything, she flushed, realizing how intimate this was and how cherished and beautiful he had made her feel. Her skin was sensitive, and her heart was still pounding insider her chest. Nevertheless, thanks to Irina, Bella knew they still hadn't consummated their marriage, and she wondered why.

Her hands moved to his trousers, intent on taking them off, but he stopped her.

"Not tonight," he murmured.

She looked at him, confused and hurt. "But-" she trailed off.

Before she could push him away, he captured her lips in another deep kiss, his hand slowly caressing her side.

"I know what you were trying to do," he continued a second later, pulling back to look into her eyes. "You came in here because you wanted to make me feel better. You were trying to comfort me, and while I am truly touched and humbled by this, I cannot accept it. Not tonight."

His words still hadn't soothed the hurt in her eyes. He cupped her cheek softly. "I don't want you to do this because you feel obligated, because you feel like this is your duty as my wife. I want you to do it because you truly want to, because you want it for yourself too."

"But I do," she whispered, her voice so soft and almost unintelligible.

He touched his forehead to hers. "All my life, I have been sleeping with women, trying to find comfort, oblivion, relief, but it didn't work. It never worked, and you deserve better than that. You have already made me happy by just being in this room with me, with your sweet kisses and honest reactions, with your passion and innocence."

She nodded slowly. She understood what he was telling her, and she might not have been truly ready for this when she entered his room, but the feeling of being rejected didn't go away.

"Come here." He wrapped her tightly in his arms, kissing the top of her head. She sighed and buried her face in his chest, inhaling his masculine scent as the length of her body touched his. Something hard bumped against her hip, and she almost jumped in surprise before she realized that he wanted her as much she wanted him. Maybe it wasn't really rejection. Maybe it was the poor timing, she thought.

"All right," she whispered a minute later, closing this subject for the night as she opened another one. "How was she?"

"She woke up a few times during the day, but whenever she saw me next to her bed, she tried very hard to fall back to sleep," he said, his fingers drawing lazy circles on her arm. "I know we have never had a great relationship, but I don't … But she is my mother."

"Why is your relationship with her so strained?" Bella asked, biting her lip nervously. If he chose not to answer her question, she would understand, although she wished he did.

Edward pondered whether or not to tell her the truth. Would it make her look at him differently? He was, after all, a bastard. The count had officially claimed him as his son, but his behavior toward Edward had never been paternal or even accepting. Would it matter to Bella that he was just the stable boy's son? The only other person who knew this was Emmett.

Almost two minutes later, he sighed deeply. "It's complicated. You see… the count is not truly my father."

He clenched his jaw, waiting for her reaction. If she had one, she was very good at disguising it.

"Oh," she merely whispered, her fingers starting to stroke up and down his chest.

Her reaction or lack thereof prompted him to continue. "My real father is a boy who used to work in the stables at that time. He had an affair with my mother."

"And then, you were born," she added, while he nodded.

"Yes. My father – the count – knew immediately I wasn't his, and he never accepted me as his son. At least, not in his heart. He and my mother grew apart, even though they still lived in the same house. She started finding relief in alcohol, blaming me for the disintegration of her marriage." He paused, his hand coming to a standstill on her arm as he was considering everything he was telling her. "I suppose the alcohol was the thing that led to the deterioration of her health and is doing this to her now, the reason why she is … she is wasting away."

Bella was silent for a couple of minutes, her fingers never stopping their soothing movement. He wondered if she would just get up and return to her room. After all, she had just found out that she was married to a bastard.

But she surprised him. She raised her head and looked at him, her expression so firm but serene. "I am sorry, Edward, for everything. The count must have really loved your mother in order to feel so betrayed by her actions, even though I think he was wrong in making you feel unaccepted. I truly hope that you are not blaming yourself. It's not your fault. None of what happened is your fault."

Something warm and soothing spread inside his chest at her words, but he didn't quite believe them – even though he desperately wanted to. With a nervous smile, he pushed her head back on his shoulder and rested his cheek against her forehead.

"It's late, Bella. Go to sleep."

She squeezed his waist, silently telling him that the conversation was over. For now.