Thanks for the reviews! You really have no idea how much they mean to me. I'm sorry it took me so long to put up this chapter. I've been insanely busy.

Hope you like!

Dean stared down at Sam as he groaned in his sleep. He rested his chin on his hands before he rubbed his eyes, having watched him all night to make sure the Gaap was truly out of him. He felt exhausted but he knew it was worth it, and grateful that Bobby had made the trip to help him when their father wouldn't. He was in his debt, and he knew it.

He ran a hand through his dark hair and felt a surge of energy and confidence when his brother finally opened his emerald colored eyes and turned to look at him.

"Hey, sleeping beauty… how you feeling?"

Sam looked around at his surroundings, having forgotten where they were. "Better. How long have I been out?"

Dean shrugged and looked at his brother with worried eyes. "A few days. Can I get you anything, man?" Before Sam could answer, he was already up on his feet and in the kitchen but glanced back at him.

Sam swallowed hard and rubbed his parched, sore throat. "Water would be great. Did it work?"

Dean filled a glass of water and came back with it. He held it out to him. "Demon free water. I've been watching you and the Gaap never took you over again so I think the Gaap is gone. Our case here is finally done."

Sam usually liked hearing those words after a case was solved but it also meant that they would have to go back home to stock back up on their supplies and talking to John seemed inevitable. He chugged the water down, relaxing once he had drank all of it and handed it back to Dean who set it on the bedside table.

"Yeah, I guess it is… oh Jesus… d-did I hurt you or Bobby?" Sam asked in a panicked tone, sitting up quickly.

Dean placed his hands on Sam's shoulders to get him to calm down. "Hey, relax, man… you didn't hurt us. You're in worse shape…" he touched his own face with a finger to show Sam where the Gaap had made him hurt himself.

Sam placed his hand on his cheek and stiffened when he felt the bandage. He looked at his brother questioningly. "Dean, what'd I do…?"

Dean's insides twisted uncomfortably at the pain in his little brother's voice and chewed on his lower lip before he sighed. "Right before he left you, there was a rogue nail sticking out of the chair and he broke off the arm of it before scraping it down your face. It was deep, but it wasn't anything we couldn't sew back up. You'll probably be sore for a while though, until it heals."

Sam appeared a bit disturbed at this news but nodded in understanding. It wasn't the first injury he had sustained in a hunting case and he knew it wouldn't be the last; it disturbed and terrified him that the injury had been done by his own hand and he hadn't even been conscious for it. All he had was Dean's words to go by. Sam swallowed hard and then suddenly hit the bedside table with his fist, causing Dean to jump in surprise.

"Damn it! I can't believe I let it get into me in the first place! I'm such an idiot…"

Dean sighed and shook his head. "Sam, the Gaap possessed a lot of people. It just happened to possess you too. It doesn't prove anything."

Sam shook his head in disbelief. "No, Dean! It proves a lot! It proves how weak I am, and how weak I'll always be! It didn't possess you, and oh gee, Dean… I wonder why. It couldn't be because you're so much stronger than me, or the fact that you don't have any mental illnesses or get nightmares constantly!"

Dean felt his impatience with his brother rise up inside of him but he did his best to hold it back. He knew Sam's anger and frustration was justifiable and it hurt to see him hurt like this. He leaned forward and looked at his brother.

"You know that I haven't always been this strong, Sam. God knows I'm only human but I also haven't had the bad experiences you've had, with Lucifer, and Dad… if Dad hadn't beat you every chance he got, you might've turned out as strong as me mentally. That isn't your fault though, Sammy. It's not… it's just that…" Dean licked his lips in thought, struggling to put his thought into words. "We're dealt the hand we're dealt and you just happened to get a shitty hand. I don't think of you as weak, though. I never have, and I don't think I ever will. You're my brother and no mental illness is going to change the courage you have inside of you."

Sam hadn't expected Dean to say what he did even though he'd heard his brother speak similar words before but this time it felt different somehow. He searched his brother's face and then bit his lip. "Thanks, Dean… really. I guess I'm just not feeling the courage right now."

"Oh! That reminds me," Dean stood up and walked over to the table by the door, grabbed a bottle and then walked back over to Sam before he tossed it to Sam, who caught it. "Got these for you while you were sleeping."

Sam raised an eyebrow and looked at the label on the bottle. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Dean to get him medication when he needed it and it was for depression but it was the name on the label that made Sam chuckle. "Robert Townshend… awesome, Dean."

His brother smirked and half shrugged. "Well I figured it'd be too obvious if I used Pete Townshend but I also wanted to use Robert Plant's name in there so… you're Robert Townshend for your prescriptions."

Sam laughed and shook his head before he opened the bottle and spilled two of the blue colored pills into his hands before he took them with water. He cringed when he swallowed the water, feeling the pain in his cheek where Dean had done the pseudo stitching. He was quiet for a while before he looked at Dean who had grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"So where do we go from here?"

Dean thought about what Bobby had said to him before he left. Sam wasn't really in any condition yet to do another hunt and he wanted to give his head some time to rest and time for the meds to kick in. That could take a few weeks though, at the least. He looked at Sam unsurely for a bit before replying. "I… figured we could stop back home to reload and wash our clothes first before we head out again. What do you think?"

Sam flinched slightly at the word 'home' because home meant Dad. He looked down at his hands and sighed heavily, his chest tight and his back feeling heavy. He nodded, aware of the possibility that his brother missed their father, regardless of the pain he caused their family. Even if he didn't mention their father, it was only for Sam's benefit. He looked back at his brother and nodded again.

"Yeah, sure. That's probably a good idea…"

"Look, Sam… you don't have to come inside if you don't want to. You don't even have to come with me back home. We can meet up somewhere if you're uncomfortable with being around Dad. I won't hold it against you or anything," Dean offered, running a hand through his hair as he saw the anxiety grow in Sam's eyes.

"No, it's… it's fine. I'll come with you. I can't ignore him forever; he'd make sure of it. Can we just… get what we need, do what we need to do, and then get out? I can't be around Dad for a long time or anything."

Dean nodded. "Of course, Sam. I didn't have any plans to stick around there long. We'll wash our clothes, grab some more ammo, and then get the hell out of Dodge. Bobby's working a case in Nebraska so I figured we could meet up with him there to help once you're… all set."

"Did Bobby say he needed our help? He's usually pretty good about doing hunts alone…"

Dean glowered down at his brother. "He didn't say he needed our help but trust me, he needs our help. Whether he wants to admit it or not, so the sooner we get back home and get ready, the sooner we can meet up with him."

Sam looked skeptically at Dean now and grimaced in pain as he stood up. "Dean, why are you so eager to get back on the road and onto another case? I get the whole adrenaline thing for you but I'm just getting over this case. Why don't you give me a break from hunting until I can get myself better?"

Dean sighed and stood up before he walked over to him. "I told you that you can stay behind on this Nebraska case! I gave you that option… did the Gaap erase your short term memory on the way out?"

"Dean, I want to come with, I just thought it'd be cool if you gave me some time to rest up… or at least give my meds a chance to kick in first before we go on a suicide mission! I'm trying to do my best to not act like a complete psycho and you're already gearing up for the next hunt! You're turning into Dad!"

Dean suddenly pushed his brother up against the wall and pinned Sam there with his arm before he leaned in, glaring at him with dark eyes. "Listen to me, little brother… I'm really sorry that you're not all there mentally but I don't need your help with every single hunt. Also, I get that you're hearing voices and looking to go all Hemingway shotgun on yourself but don't you dare accuse me of being like Dad! If I was Dad, I'd do a hell of a lot more than pin you up against some wall and give you a stern talking to!" Dean growled before he took his arm off of Sam.

His brother looked more annoyed and angry than afraid or taken aback by Dean's actions. He grabbed his heavy jacket and carefully put it on before he grabbed his phone. Dean turned around and looked at him with surprised eyes. "Where are you going? We just exorcised a demon out of you…"

Sam glanced back at him. "I'm going for a walk." He pocketed his wallet before he headed out the motel room door and stuffed his hands in his pockets, starting to walk down the road towards the diner. He was hesitant about taking his brother's car in case something came up and Dean actually needed to drive somewhere.

He let the cold, brisk air hit his face as he walked into the wind down the road, stuffing his hands into his pockets. As he walked down the road, he heard the familiar roar of the Chevy Impala coming up from behind him and then heard the engine slow down.

"Come on, Sammy… don't do this right now. Get in the car," Dean's voice trailed over Led Zeppelin and his engine as he slowly coasted alongside his brother.

Sam walked on, choosing to ignore him as his frustration boiled under his skin. He was forced to stop when Dean turned the car to the side and cut him off before he leaned over and opened the passenger side door for him.

"Stop being a bitch. Get in the car, Sam. We're going to the same place. Let's just talk, okay?"

Sam debated walking back to the motel room. It wouldn't do any good though because Dean would just follow him back there too. He forced himself into the car and then slammed the door of the car. As his brother drove on towards the diner, the two of them sat in a cold silence and neither of them said a word until they were seated in a booth inside the diner.

"What do you want, Sam? Coffee, pie? Whatever you want, it's on me," Dean offered, hailing over a waitress.

"I'll just have coffee, I guess," he replied as coolly as he could to the waitress without coming off as rude. After the waitress took Dean's order of a slice of cherry pie and walked away, Sam glanced out the window. "So, this is your plan, to buy my loyalty and love? Maybe you're more like Dad than either of us thought."

Sam instantly regretted those words. He hadn't truly meant to let those acid words roll off his tongue but it was too late to take it back down. Dean leaned back in his seat and shook his head before he waved his hand.

"Please, Sam. Tell me how you're really feeling; don't hold anything back," Dean replied icily. "I can't buy your love with coffee, and I'm not trying to. I know you; you'd love me still even if I was the one holding the gun that shot you, and you'd apologize for bleeding all over me. I just want you to know that I'm not the bad guy here. You're just making me the bad guy because Dad's not here and there's no one else to blame, and I'm the closest thing to Dad. You're… projecting."

Sam seemed impressed at his brother's analysis of him but said nothing until both their orders were set in front of them. He smiled politely at the waitress and waited until she was gone. "Maybe you're partially right… you are the closest thing I have to Dad but I'm just frustrated as hell at you because we both barely got through this case with the Gaap and now you're eager to go tromping off to Nebraska to help Bobby. I know that I was the one who held the gun to my own head the other day but I think you're the one with a death wish."

Dean gave his brother an exasperated look before he delved into his pie. He swallowed his bite and then looked back at Sam. "Sam, in case you're forgetting, this is what we do. This is what we were raised to do. Don't you like saving people? I mean, you can't tell me that you never get an ego boost after saving innocent people from the monsters."

Sam took a long sip of coffee. "How can I forget that we hunt for a living? There's literally no way I possibly could, even if I wanted to. You and Dad keep reminding me every other minute of every day. I'm not saying that I don't like saving innocents, Dean. I'm saying that we're not the only hunters out there. Bobby's more than willing to save them. You don't have to feel obligated to with every single case."

Dean rolled his eyes and took another bite of his pie. "Sammy… you don't have to come with me. I've told you this several times. I always give you an out unless I need you for your talents. This is what we have to do. We can't always rely on other hunters to hunt the ghosties."

Sam clenched his jaw and suddenly hit the table, feeling so angry again. A part of him wondered if it was the meds making him feel this way but that wasn't possible; antidepressants took a while to kick in. He tongued his cheek and then leaned in towards his brother.

"Damn it, Dean! Maybe I don't want you to go on every single hunting trip because you're the only brother and normal family member I have and I don't want to fucking lose you!" he yelled in a hushed whisper, trying not to cause a scene.

Dean stopped eating his pie, seeing the fresh tears that were starting to form in Sam's eyes. He suddenly lost his appetite and he leaned back in the booth before he looked around and then back at his brother. "Sam, you're not going to lose me. I told you; it's going to take a lot more than the monsters to get rid of me."

"Y-You don't know that," Sam's voice cracked. He attempted to hide it by taking another sip of his coffee and swallowing the hot liquid, letting it burn his throat. "There's been so many times when I almost did lose you, and you have no idea how terrifying it was for me..."

Dean leaned in now. "Do you think I threw a party during your year in Hell? Do you really think that I never cried myself to sleep at night, blaming myself for you being there, being Lucifer's bitch? I can't tell you how many times I thought about taking one of Dad's guns and just ending it all right then and there! But I didn't because I had to believe you'd be back again, even if I had no idea. I just had to hold onto that hope because that was all I had. I have an idea how terrifying it was for you those times when I almost died, so don't tell me otherwise, Sammy,"

This seemed to shut him up now. Sam swallowed hard and took a shaky breath before he watched the snow falling in soft tufts outside just to keep his eyes from looking at his brother's. They were both quiet for a long time until Dean had finished his pie.

"I get how you're feeling. I understand that you're afraid of losing me and you're more than welcome to come with and back me up but I'm just trying to look out for your best interest, Sam."

Sam forced himself to look at Dean again. "You think my best interest is back home with Dad?"

"No, I didn't say that, Sam. You don't have to stay with Dad. You can take a car and meet me somewhere after the case is done, if you don't want to come with me. I'm going either way, with or without you, and that's just something you're going to need to deal with, but you can stay at a motel up the road from me if you want, okay? That way, if I need backup, I can just call you. How does that sound? That way, you're not stuck with Dad and then both of us can feel better about the other…"

Sam relaxed now and nodded, running his hands through his hair in relief. He liked this plan and felt grateful Dean had given him options. His mind was so mentally drained from the Gaap using him that he didn't know he could've come up with that option. "Okay, yeah… that sounds good."

"Good… then it's settled. Come on, drink up or die. We need to head back home to load back up."

Sam knocked back the rest of his coffee and then nodded to Dean before he took out the money to pay their bill, plus a generous tip before the two of them got into the Impala and started to drive back towards the hotel.

They packed up their belongings; Sam's medications, the weapons, their dirty clothes, any evidence of an exorcism being done in the motel, bloody towels. Dean didn't waste any time in stealing what was leftover of the motel soap and shampoo. Once they changed Sam's bandages, they threw their bags into the backseat of the Impala and then pulled out of the motel parking lot.

It felt good to be back on the road, even if they were going back to a place that Sam could only describe being worse than actual Hell. They wouldn't be there long so they wouldn't have to deal with their father for very long, and then they'd be going to Nebraska, and they wouldn't be alone. Sam preferred to stay at a motel near Dean than let him go to the case alone, besides Bobby. As they passed the sign that told them they were leaving Topeka, Sam rested his head against the window and soon fell asleep.

"Sam! Sammy, wake up!"

Sam slowly opened his eyes and looked around at his surroundings, noticing the car wasn't moving anymore. He rubbed them tiredly and let out an involuntary yawn. "Hmm?"

"We're here. We're h-home…"

Sam didn't miss how his brother stammered on the word 'home.' It had become one of those words that the brothers used for lack of a better word. Home was where your parents loved you and protected you. Home wasn't here. Their father didn't love Sam and only thought of Dean as one of his soldiers. He took a deep breath and then helped Dean get their stuff into the house. Sam quietly crept inside the house after his brother who had started towards the laundry room area where their mother had always cleaned their clothes. He felt panic in his chest but tried not to let it get the best of him.

"It's alright, Sam… just stay by my side. I won't let him hurt you," Dean promised him in a whisper, as if he could sense his younger brother's fear.

Sam leaned against the wall and watched as Dean piled their dirty, bloody clothes into the washer and dumped two full capfuls of laundry soap on top of them. He anxiously tore the skin around his cuticles, occasionally hearing noises coming from their Dad's "office." He wondered how long it'd take for John to find out they were there. For a few fleeting moments, Sam thought maybe they could somehow do everything they needed to do and then get out without encountering their father.

"While our clothes are washing, let's go reload…" Dean motioned for Sam to follow him towards the garage where they kept all their hunting supplies.

Sam stayed at his brother's heels like a loyal dog but felt like a scared dog that had been kicked by its owner one too many times and now instinctively flinched. He grabbed the bag that held their weapons and then walked with Dean to the garage. He took out the Colt and grabbed more bullets to put into the chamber.

"Make sure you grab a couple extra boxes of bullets and shells for the other guns, Sam," Dean reminded him not unkindly.

Sam nodded firmly in acknowledgement and started loading up the boxes of ammo into their bag before he grabbed some of the red shells of rock salt and loaded them into both shotguns. "Do you think Dad will be happy to see us?"

Dean shrugged as he refilled his flask of holy water. "I don't know, probably not. Do you really care if he is? After how we left last time, I'll be surprised if he doesn't try to shoot both of us with rock salt."

Sam was quiet but he nodded and then another question popped into his head. "What if he doesn't let us leave this time?"

Dean glanced up from his task before he shook his head. "He doesn't have a say in this. We're both legally adults and we can do whatever the hell we want, with or without his permission. I'm not leaving here without you. You're not going to be his punching bag anymore."

He seemed so sure about his plan that Sam sincerely felt safe with him. He really felt like everything was going to go as planned for once. There was something about Dean's confidence that gave him hope.

"Good to see you again, boys…"

Their father's cold voice sent a chill down Sam's back, making the panic and fear come back again. All of the hope that Sam had gained from Dean had disappeared as quickly as it had come.