Hey pretty people, Thank-you all so much for your reviews on the last chapter...they make me giddy like a school girl :) I'm glad most of you seem touched by the tender moment at the end and are enjoying this story...please keep reading it only just getting good lol! On with the show...

Bella's POV:

I felt like I was in hell. My normal optimistic attitude in life was shot to shit and I was more than happy to just lay in my hospital bed and not make any kind of communication to the world. After the Cullen's and Jasper left my mood disintegrated rapidly. Rose, Alice and Seth we're trying their best to keep me in good sprites and kept telling me that "Everything was going to be OK". I failed to believe them though because after all was it them who had their chest sliced in half and almost died...oh no wait that was me!

Why did bad things always happen to me? I was a good person. I was selfless and giving when I could be. I always listened to other people problems and helped others when I could. So why me?

The high school that I went to was a catholic school, which meant every Monday we had religious education. One particular session really spoke to me and I will never forget it. Mother Karen said to us

" God works in mysterious ways and sometimes it is not always clear why he is doing these horrible thing's to us. In those horrible times we tend to get so wrapped up in it all when what we really need to do is to step back from ourselves and look at the bigger picture. We all have destiny's set for us and everything that happens to us along the road only is there to mold us into the people we are suppose to be. So when all these horrible things happen you, you should think to yourself "what could I learn from this" and "How did this change me as a person" because we are all very capable of change, its weather or not we let it happen that matter's. Not all change is good and we need to distance ourselves from those changes and only embrace to good...that is what will make you all good well rounded human being's."

This was a very inspiring speech for me as it help put some positive light onto my shitty past. You see, all the sickness I when though when I was younger caused me to miss out on a lot as a kid. I never got to play sport or go to the park and play like other kids my age. While most kids hated going to school, I loved it because that meant I was not in hospital getting needles stuck in me. I will never forget when I was 11 and our school was having a production of the musical "Annie". For months before the auditions I dreamed about how I would star in the show and all the accolades I would receive after my brilliant performance. By some stroke of luck I managed to blitz the auditions and landed the main role to play Annie.

I spent the next 4 month's learning all my lines, songs and dances. After school most days I would come home and rehearse some more with Rose and Alice who were happy to so just to see me so happy and in my element. So imagine my shock when I found out 2 weeks before the show that some test results of mine showed some abnormalities. Apparently my hearts rhythm was not correct and I needed to go back into hospital for observation and undergo a painful procedure that involved a series of electrical shocks to fix the rhythm.

I spent the next month in hospital under observation. For days before the show and after it I was beyond depressed, my dreams were crushed. On the night of the show I sobbed in my hospital bed for hours on end. Rose and Alice came in that night and cuddled me in bed as we all sobbed in bed together. I sobbed for my now diminished dreams and they sobbed out of hurt for me. Rose year's later admitted to me that that night was the most depressed she had ever felt in her life. She saw how hard I worked on my part and how i was finally happy only to have it taken from me days before I could truly live it out. It crushed her to see me so emotionally hurt and had no way to make her little sister happy. But I moved on from that heart ache and it only made me stronger.

Even as I got older and in a more stable condition I still missed out on a lot. I couldn't go to the high school football matches like everyone else because the cold nights would strain my immune system too much. I couldn't participate in P.E, I couldn't eat certain foods and I didn't even get my first kiss until about 5 years after everyone else.

Through all those lows though and constantly missing out, I never let myself feel dejected or down and out. I felt all those experiences helped me to be molded into the free spirited and caring sensitive soul I am.

However now I feel like haven't I suffered enough already? I don't understand what I did to deserve this? Am I not already a good person...What more could I possible learn from this? Life has been constantly pushing me down and I have always gotten straight back up and on my feet. However with all the Edward drama's I felt like I was already down and now this whole drama is just kicking me while I'm down. This time I can't find my feet to get back up, this time I'm staying down.

As if I wasn't depressed enough as it was Edward never showed up the next day. Thankfully Rose brought my iPod in for me so could listen to one depressing song after the next. If I didn't already feel ugly and hurt as it was, well Edward just solidified those feeling in me by not showing up.

Over the next 3 days everyone but Edward came into see me to try and get me out of my funk. Alice brought dvd's, Emmett brought checkers, Rose brought book's, Esme brought baked goods, Carlisle brought me multiple teddy bear's and Jasper brought me my Guitar but none of those things cheered me up. The only person that could truly cheer me up never came.

Finally 4 days later I was reading in my bed alone when I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up and gasped to see Edward standing there in all his glory.

"Can I come in?" he said quietly, to say he looked uncomfortable would be understatement of the year. He stood there shuffling from one foot to the other with his hands in his pockets. I nodded at him that it was fine so he slowly came in and sat down on the seat next to my bed. He immediately looked down and the floor and even after 5 minutes of silence he never made eye contact. I decided to break the silence saying

"You never came." I said in a soft voice as I stared at my hands that were on my lap. I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was now looking at me. He looked torn up inside and anguish was clearly written all over his face.

"I...I'm sorry. I need...I needed to get my head on straight before I could see you. So I would know for sure what I want." He said as he shuffled his chair closer to me and rested his hands on the edge of my bed. I looked up at him now and after starring at each other of a minute I said

"And what is it that you want?". He sat in his seat looking conflicted for a few moments before he said

"I'm not good at talking about how I feel and stuff like that...it's just not me. But I owe you the truth so before we talk about anything I need you to know how sorry I am for doing this to you, you will never know just how sorry I am". He said as he looked down to the floor looking almost on the verge of tears.

"Edward, you didn't do this to me. I have had a heart condition for years." his head snapped up when he heard he speak, he launched himself out of his seat and started pacing around my room. A couple of times he would stop as if he were going to say something, only then to shake his head and keep pacing.

"Bella, I know you will probably hate me after I tell you this but all this really was my...it was my...all my fault! I Overheard the d-doctors talking and they said it would have b-been stress that triggered this. I...I yelled at you-u, Screamed at you for no good r-reason. I stressed y-you and caused your heart...y-your precious heart to f-fail" Edward choked out as tears started to poor down his beautiful face. He sat back down in his seat and silently cried. It made sense to me now, he never came because he was off blaming himself and beating himself up about it so bad that he felt to much guilt to see me.

"Edward, listen to me when I say that none of this is your fault OK...none of it! It was part my fault because I shouldn't have been so stupid in not taking my medication and the only other person that can take blame in this is god, for giving me this dodgy heart. Please don't feel guilt for something that you have no reason for feeling guilty for." I said as I stroked his head. He looked up at me and with tears in his eyes said

"You amaze me Bella Swan...". I just stroked the side of his face as he lent into my head. I saw his eye's shoot to my guitar in the corner of the room. He stood up and went and retrieved it before returning to his original place in his seat. He started checking to see if it was in tune.

"Can you play guitar?" I asked quietly. He didn't look up when he said

"Yeah, Carlisle taught me from when I was just a little kid. That man has so many talents I swear..." he trailed off. After he finished tuning it to his liking he looked into my eye's and said

"Remember how I said that I'm not good at talking about my feeling..." He asked me and I nodded.

"Well while I was brooding in my these past few days I wrote you a song. If it's any good I suppose it will show you just how I feel about you." He said before he started to play a beautiful melody. I was captured in it from the very first cord he played. Then in his beautiful voice he started to sing (A/N song is Long Time Coming by Oliver James...Listen to it while reading to understand):

Everybody wants to be loved
every once in a while
we all need someone to hold on to
just like a helpless child
yeah
can you whisper in my ear
let me know it's alright
it's been a long time coming
down this road
and now I know
what I've been waiting for
and like a lonely highway
I'm trying to get home
oooh loves been a long time coming
you can look for a lifetime
you can love for a day
you can think you got everything but
everything is nothing when you throw it away
yeah
then you look in my eyes
and I have it all
once again
it's been a long time coming
down this road
and now i know
what I've been waiting for
just like a lonely highway
I'm trying to get home
oooh loves been a long time coming
didn't know i was lost
till you found me
uh huh
didn't know I was blind
but now I see
can you whisper in my ear
let me know it's alright
it's been a long time coming
down this road
and now I know
what I've been searching for
oh been a long long highway and
now I see
oooh loves been a long time.

He finished singing his song and placed the guitar up against my bed. I was so touched tears were flowing freely down my face. He felt it to...He liked me to! I quickly sat forward and fisted with one hand his white t-shirt to bring him towards me, before taking my other hand and weaving it up in his hair to bring his face down to mine, my lips finding his. I kissed him with all the passion I had as his hands moved down to my waist.

We stopped kissing and he was now bent over my bed. His head was hovering over mine as he brought his hands up to cup my face as he stared into my eyes.

"But I'm ugly now..." I said shyly as I looked away from him. He moved my head so I was once again looking at him before he said

"You will always be beautiful to me, my Bella." Then he kissed me again.

Everything made sense to me now. All this wasn't about me. This time the horrible time's weren't about shaping me into a different person it was about shaping Edward into a better person. I was to wrapped up in my own depression to even think about who else this was affecting. I should have taken a step back to get a different perspective, but I didn't. Now I have and everything is clear...now I have Edward.

A/N: Soooooooooo did you love it? Wasn't Edward sweet? Did you like the song? I thought it was perfect! Personally I think this is my favorite chappie so far...is it yours? And if not than what one is? Please please please leave me a review...they make me so happy :)

All my love

xoxoxox