A/N: So so sorry about the long wait. Life is busy and to be honest, I also lost my motivation for a while. But I'm back! Hope y'all enjoy this chapter! I'll be updating Silver Lining soon too!

"Mommy, wake up!"

Aria's eyes slowly opened and were met with wide blue ones staring back at her.

"Good morning" Aria mumbled

"Is it today, Mommy?" The toddler whispered.

Aria smiled as she pulled her daughter close to her.

"It is, honey. Happy Happy birthday. I love you so much."

"I'm three today?"

"Yes, baby girl."

The three year old had been waiting for this day for the past few weeks. Every morning she'd come into Aria and Ezra's room, asking if it was finally her birthday.

"Come on, let's go get you ready for your birthday party."

"I don't want to go."

"Sweetie, it's your first day of kindergarten. You've been excited for this for so long."

"I'm scared."

"Hey, there's no reason to be scared. Kindergarten is just like preschool. You'll make new friends, and have a lot more fun."

"But there's big kids now. What if they're mean to me?"

"Honey, everything will be okay. It's okay to feel nervous, but in the end you'll see how much you'll love school."

"Are you sure, Mommy?"

"Yes." She reassured.

"I love you, Mommy. You're the bestest ever."

Aria hugged her daughter, placing a soft kiss on her head.

"I love you too, Izzy."

"Izzy, Daisy, come meet your new baby brother." Aria called from downstairs.

The eight year old raced down, her five year old sister following behind. They both froze once they reached the bottom and noticed Aria with a small blue bundle in her arms, sitting on the couch.

"Go on." Ezra encouraged them both.

They both took a seat next to Aria.

"Mommy, he's so tiny." Isabelle smiled.

"He is, do you want to hold him?"

Izzy nodded.

"I want to hold him too." Daisy whined.

"You'll get a turn too." Ezra assured.

Aria placed the infant into Isabelle's awaiting arms.

"You're doing great, Izzy." Aria smiled, caressing her hair gently. "It seems like just yesterday you were this tiny, and now you're eight years old."

"Can I hold him now?" Daisy asked impatiently.

"Sure."

"Mom, I need your help!"

Aria put her curler down and headed towards her daughters room.

"What is it, honey?"

"I know no one will really see what dress I'm wearing under my gown, but I still want it to be the right one. Can you help me?"

"Of course, honey."

"I can't decide between this burgundy one, or the navy blue."

Aria inspected both of them.

"You'll look beautiful in either one, but I'll have to say I like the burgundy one most."

"Thank you, Mom. You're the best." She threw her arms around her mother.

Aria couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

"Mom, why are you crying?"

"I just can't believe you're graduating already. You're growing up way too fast. And then you're leaving for college. I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."

"Mom, you know I'll always be your little girl." She hugged her mother tighter. "I love you."

"I love you too, Izzy."

Aria eyes shot open, her chest rising up and down as she tried to catch her breath as a throbbing pain made itself known. She took a drink of water in attempt to calm down.

She knew deep down she'd always wished for a daughter like Isabelle, but she knew she was Alison's daughter. She shouldn't envy that.

She had to take deep breaths and relax. Forget about the dream, compose herself and go downstairs. She didn't want to go back to her dark days and she definitely didn't want to worry Ezra.

She took a quick shower before heading back down. It was already nearing nine and Alison would be here to pick up Izzy any minute. A part of her didn't want to see Ali. Although she had no control over what Mrs. Welsh said or over her dream, her guilt was too much and she couldn't face her.

"Hey, babe. Are you feeling better?"

Aria nodded. "Much better." She lied.

"Should I heat up some food for you?" He asked.

Although she really wasn't hungry, she knew Ezra would insist, so she found herself nodding.

"Thank you." She smiled as she took a seat on one of the stools of the kitchen island. "Is Izzy still sleeping?"

"Actually Ali just picked her up about five minutes ago. I told her you weren't feeling well."

Aria nodded as she took a bite of her pasta. Ezra grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat in front of her.

"I had fun today." Aria finally spoke up. And she really did mean it. Minus the Mrs. Welch incident, it had been a fun day with their goddaughter.

"I did too. It'd been way too long since i'd gone to the zoo."

"Same." Aria smiled, finishing the last of her food.

"What do you say we watch a movie? I think there's a new one they added to Netflix. I'll make us some popcorn and we can relax? It's been a long day."

"That sounds perfect."

"Great." Ezra smiled pecking her lips. "I'll get the popcorn started. I'll be up in a bit."

"I'll make it. Go upstairs and shower. I'll finish cleaning and meet you upstairs."

"I can clean up."

"Babe," Aria wrapped her arms around his neck. "I got this. I slept the whole evening. I'm okay. Go."

"Fine." Ezra smiled, pressing his lips gently against hers. "Although I'd much rather have you join me in the shower."

"Well I hate to disappoint you, but I already showered." Aria laughed.

Ezra sighed. "Fine."

An hour later they both lay in bed watching some random comedy. Currently a scene of a fourteen year old girl babysitting her younger siblings. The girl was obviously struggling and the younger kids were not making the job any easier.

"I hope I never have kids." The girls voice came from the television..

Aria froze as she heard those words. She snuggled into Ezra's side as a certain memory came to her.

"Aria, please." Hanna begged. "They're driving me crazy."

Thirteen year old Aria laughed as she lay in her bed.

"It's not funny." Hanna whined. "Please come help me."

"You know I don't do well with kids."

"I'm begging you, Aria. I need someone to keep me sane."

Sighing, Aria slipped her feet into her tennis shoes. "Fine. I'll see you in a few."

Ten minutes later, Aria was parking her bike on Hanna's porch.

"Thank god you're here!" Hanna squealed. "I got one of them down, the other one's in the play pen."

They both sat down on Hanna's couch as the watched the infant slowly fall asleep.

"I don't know why you babysit so often." Aria spoke.

Aria had quite a few bad experiences in babysitting. Now, she only babysat if absolutely necessary.

"I love kids. Although they're crazy little monkeys, it's good practice for when I have kids."

"You're already thinking about having kids?"

"Obviously not now. We're only kids ourselves. But maybe in 10 or 15 years from now. Don't you ever think about the future?"

Aria shook her head. "Kids and I don't do well together."

"Like I said, we're still kids. But things will change. We'll grow up, get married and have kids."

"No. I don't like them. I don't ever want to have children. I won't."

Hanna smiled. "We'll see. You say this now, but you never know."

Aria once again shook her head. "No. I hope I never do."

She suddenly felt nauseous.

Prior to this, she had completely forgotten that conversation. Of course at thirteen she wasn't ready to even think about having kids. She was at a difficult age, where kids were nothing but annoying to her.

Things had changed later on when she was in High School and when she met Ezra. She always saw a future with him. Marriage and kids.

Could it be that something she'd said over ten years ago, be the reason she wasn't a mother today?

Her anxiety was kicking in once again and Ezra noticed.

"Hey, are you alright?"

"I need some water." Aria whispered.

Ezra shut off the TV and quickly headed down to the kitchen.

"Here." He handed her the glass.

"Thank you."

"What's wrong, Aria?" He asked softly.

"Remember, when you ever feel that way, talk about it, let your feelings and thoughts known, don't bottle them up. Talking helps, Aria. And it will be the only way to keep pushing forward."

Her therapist was right. Talking would help. She had to let Ezra know everything going through her mind since earlier today, after the incident with Mrs. Welsh.

"I'm ready to talk."

"Aria, you don't have to if you don't want to."

"I do. My therapist always reminded me to talk about my feelings. Especially with you."

Ezra nodded, squeezing her hand encouraging.

"When Mrs. Welsh said that today." Aria's voice broke. "I felt my heart stop. For a second, I wished it were true. Wished that Isabelle was actually ours, and I know that was so wrong, but I did. And you don't know how terrible I felt."

"Hey, it's okay. You didn't mean any harm."

"I know, but the more I tried to forget about it, the more I thought about it. When I fell asleep earlier, I had so many dreams about her. In my dreams she was our daughter, Ezra. She was calling us Mommy and Daddy."

"I know it was just me picturing our daughter in the future, but it was her. It was Isabelle. She had her big blue eyes and her cute button nose. It was her name I was calling in the dream. And that just made me feel like such a horrible person." Aria whimpered.

"Babe, you can't control your dreams."

"I know I can't. But maybe it's a sign. I'm getting too attached to her."

"She's our goddaughter, Aria. That's normal."

"I'm too attached." Aria argued. "Maybe I should just tell Ali I can't do it anymore."

"Aria, that baby girl loves you. You've seen her almost every day for the past five months. She'd be crushed and Ali would too."

"I don't want to hurt them, Ezra. I'm not someone they need."

Ezra's heart broke at her words. He wrapped his arms around her small frame, hoping to provide her some comfort.

"Don't say that. You're so important to the both of them."

"But I'm a terrible person."

"Aria, you're the most selfless and wonderful person I know." Ezra assured.

"I am." She sobbed, shaking her head. "Did you know when I was thirteen I wished I would never have kids? I did. And I regret it. I was a kid and I didn't see my future just yet."

"Aria, all kids say that."

"What if that's why I'm being punished?"

"Hey, you're not. You were thirteen. Those words didn't mean anything. Jay died of natural causes. We're still young, Aria. We can have another baby in the future. But please don't blame yourself for this too."

"I just feel so bad for everything that happened today. It triggered all those bad moments."

"You have me, Aria. Don't push me away. We're in this together and I'll do everything I can to help."

He wiped her tears gently.

"Maybe you would benefit from talking to your therapist again. It can help to talk to someone else."

Aria nodded.

"I thought I was doing fine."

"You are." He assured. "But sometimes certain things bring back all those unhappy times, and we need to find a way to cope with them or control them. She can help."

"I'll call for an appointment on Monday."

"And please don't push Alison or Izzy away either. They need us."

Aria nodded. "I won't. I need them too." Aria smiled.

"Thank you for letting me in, Aria. I love you so much and want you to be okay."

"I should be thanking you, Ezra. You're always so patient with me. I don't know where I'd be without you. I love you."

They shared a gentle kiss as they snuggled under the covers.

"Goodnight." Aria whispered as Ezra wrapped his arms protectively around her.

"Goodnight."

Aria knew deep down she still had doubts about getting over her anxieties, but Ezra and her therapist were right and decided to trust them. She wanted to keep pushing forward. To continue to keep getting better. She was determined to do so.

Hope you enjoyed! Please review!