A doozy of a chapter by way of apology. Thank me by reading, reviewing, favouriting and following.
Her body hurt.
The formerly white-hot pain coursing through her from end to end had subsided into a dull ache in all her limbs, but the deep welt in her gem sent shocks through her with every step that refused to abate. Just thinking felt like fighting through a wildfire with a very dry stick, and it took all the energy she could muster just to drag herself into a dark corner before she collapsed.
She smiled, ignoring the pain. It had been a good day.
It had begun as any other day might have. She'd greeted the sun and the new work it heralded, divvied up orders among the crew, and headed down to the Kindergarten to inspect the first crop. Routine as ever.
Nothing had seemed amiss despite the insistence from Rose that they'd overrun their gestation period. Pearl knew the literature well enough to appreciate that they weren't going to be pulling a stellar yield from the fields, but for her first harvest, she felt pretty proud of what she'd accomplished. Many engineers failed to even produce a crop. She'd accounted for the Earth's poor cultivability and adjusted the parameters of the Kindergarten, and in so doing, she'd ensured a reasonable result and that the planet wouldn't have to lie fallow for the next ten million years.
She'd been pretty certain anyone on Homeworld would have congratulated her for thinking ahead. Instead, the atmosphere of the camp seemed even tenser than before, and Rose in particular wore an air of frustration Pearl would never have expected from her.
Then she'd walked into the main building at headquarters and straight into a war zone.
"What is Rose Quartz thinking?" cried Spinel, angrily pointing an accusatory finger at Pearl. Strewn around them were the tattered remains of what had recently been their operations table. Pearl's mood soured at the thought of having to put it all back together. "First putting that churl of a rough in charge of our precious operation, and now sedition! Has she gone mad?"
"Shut up!" Ruby's retort was clipped and sharp, and her stance exuded hostility. Pearl could tell she was about to snap. "Don't you dare talk about Rose or Pearl like that!"
"Agreed," Sapphire added, nodding, tone harsh and cold. "And Rose Quartz is in charge here. Why would any of us listen to you?"
"How dare you?" It shocked Pearl that Spinel's voice could even climb to that high a pitch without her throat splitting like glass. The Gem squeaked with the indignation of a thunderstorm. "I will not be silenced by peons like you! Yellow Diamond will be hearing of this, mark my words!"
"What's this about?" Pearl said, though it felt pointless. No one even acknowledged her presence.
"I'm tired of you walking around here like you own the place just because you're in with some big name back on Homeworld!" Ruby raised a fist to Spinel, who backed off warily, hackles raised.
"Calm down, Ruby!" Sapphire's soothing voice must have affected Ruby considerably, as she lowered her arms, though her eyes remained locked on Spinel's. The other Gem began to move forward, fear becoming exaggerated bravado now the imminent threat had retreated. "Don't do something we'll both regret."
"Pathetic!" Practically spitting, Spinel stuck her tongue out at Ruby. It looked to Pearl as though Ruby was about to lose it again, but Sapphire gently wrapped her arms around Ruby's shoulders, and she relaxed, barely holding her temper.
"Now, now, Spinel," Pearl said, "why don't we all just stop for a moment and think about what we're doing here, okay?"
Pearl had hoped the other Gem would get the message. Instead, she sneered, turned, and stomped out of the room, muttering something darkly under her breath.
"What was that all about?" Confusion evident in her voice, she turned to Ruby and Sapphire, the latter quickly covering the former's mouth with both hands.
"Nothing!" said Sapphire cheerily. "Rose was looking for you! I think maybe you should go and see her. It seemed urgent."
Shrugging, Pearl left the two of them to it.
"Rose!"
At the peak of a nearby hill, just outside the newly-constructed temple, Pearl found Rose solemnly staring into the distance. Beneath her feet the thicket sprung to life with clumps of flowers. It awed Pearl how vitalising Rose's aura really was.
The other Gem stood still, eyes firmly locked on some far-off point in the distance Pearl couldn't see. Falling in beside her, Pearl followed her gaze, silent and awestruck.
Moments of peace like this were too few and far between. Next to Rose, Pearl could have spent an eternity.
The peace quickly shattered when Rose shook her head and turned to her. Pearl met her intense stare as bravely as she could, but she faltered under the weight of those piercing eyes. Rose was studying her for something, and Pearl feared she might not find it.
Silence hung in the air for a second that felt like an eternity before Rose spoke.
"Pearl."
Pearl blanched, waiting for her to continue, before realising she was done.
"Oh. Um." She couldn't find the words. Why now? Of all the times to lose her tongue, why now, and why did it feel so important? Nothing had happened yet. Was that intransigent 'yet' the problem? It certainly felt like it.
Rose, ever patient, still stood there on the cliff's peak. The roar of the sea far below them filled Pearl's ears like thunder. Idly she wondered if there'd be a beach in front of the temple in a few thousand years.
Summoning her confidence, she opened her mouth and spoke.
"Sapphire said you were looking for me."
No answer. Rose gave no sign of even listening. Whether she'd heard her question or not was beyond Pearl.
"My Pearl." Taking a step forward, Rose laid her hands on Pearl's cheeks, cupping her face. Pearl could feel the heat of a blush rising in her cheeks. For such an innocuous gesture, it felt far too intimate, yet not intimate enough. In an odd way, she longed for Rose's touch.
"Rose?" she stuttered, fumbling the word in her mouth. Inwardly she cursed herself for getting flustered over such a silly thing.
"I've told you so many secrets, haven't I?"
Pearl nodded dumbly. She couldn't think under this much pressure. Tongue-tied didn't begin to describe how hot and bothered she felt, and Rose's thumb gliding gently over her cheeks didn't help matters.
"You're so precious, Pearl." The fingers that had just been rubbing concentric circles in Pearl's sensitive spots retreated far too quickly for her liking, leaving her feeling more frustrated and desperate than she could ever recall feeling in her life, like something beautiful had been on the cusp of her reach, and withdrawn just as she'd had it in her grasp. The sensation of Rose's fingers grazing her face would be one she'd never forget.
"Rose?" She felt stupid and inarticulate. It hurt.
"Do you trust me, Pearl?"
What could she hope to say to that? She nodded. She'd have said anything just to feel that way once more, she was sure, but it wasn't a lie, either. She did trust Rose implicitly.
Rose turned away. Putting distance between them eased the haze in her mind a little, and she felt like she could finally think again.
"Look at Earth, Pearl, just for a moment," said Rose, gesturing towards the horizon. "Tell me what you see."
"I see a planet," she responded, unsure of what Rose meant. "Water, trees, land, animals." She had to admit Rose had her somewhat confused.
"Try again."
"Okay," she said, giving it some further thought. Maybe there was a deeper meaning to it all. Perhaps it had something to do with their mission. "I see resources. I see opportunity. I see a future for Homeworld and for our people."
"Nice try, Pearly," Rose laughed, but she seemed more amused than pleased. "Really look. With your eyes. Tell me what you see, not what you want me to think you see."
Trying to make sense of that put Pearl's head in a spin, but she decided to give it one last try, and looked at the sea.
The sea.
Something about the cresting of the waves was beautiful to behold. The movement of the water was like some sort of dance, ephemeral and graceful, never repeating the same steps; the dancer itself a flowing hourglass veiled in deepest blue, twisting and writhing with unbridled passion for ever and ever. The way the sands in the distance twinkled under the light of the midday sun, thousands of little golden shards framed against the ocean's ballet, filled her mind with poetry of a sort that felt both utterly alien and utterly innate to her. Against the tapestry of greens and browns in the background, and the clear blue sky overhead, the Earth looked almost like some kind of cosmic work of art.
Suddenly, she understood, and the realisation made her retch.
"It's wonderful." Her voice was flat and lifeless as she relayed to Rose the deep feelings that had been unsettling her for so long. Putting to words the constant undercurrent of her life since coming to this planet was like taking the weight of a planet from her shoulders. "Everything is so vibrant, so lucid. From the flora to the fauna, it's all so grand, and beautiful, and precious. Like any of us."
A nausea in the pit of her stomach brought into sharp clarity the crux of the point Rose was trying to make: the same point she'd been hiding from all along.
"It's wonderful, and we're going to destroy it."
"Now you're getting it." Rose seemed both pleased and saddened. "To the heart of the matter."
"But why?" The intense shame of realisation was driving her earlier thoughts completely out of her mind. Now all she could focus on was the sickening knowledge that she had played an essential role in what was to be the total destruction of a pristine and verdant paradise. Nothing could heal that, nor the self-loathing that came with it. "Why do we do this?"
"Because we did it to our home." Pearl shook her head violently at that, staring up at Rose with frenzy in her eyes. Rose pulled her close, wrapping her in her warmest embrace, though it did little to help. Pearl couldn't bite back the sting of tears. "Don't cry, Pearl. It wasn't your fault. You weren't there."
"But I'm part of it," she moaned back. "I did it to Homeworld and I've done it to Earth."
"And you'll do it again," said Rose, not even bothering to hide the tears in her own eyes. "You'll do it because we must do it. To survive."
"Should we survive, then?" Wailing, Pearl slumped to her knees. "If we have to destroy everything to keep living, why should we live at all?"
Rose was silent for a moment before speaking again.
"I don't have an answer for that." She seemed torn, to Pearl. Whether by Pearl's distraught reaction or her own, Pearl wasn't sure. "All I know is that I've been a Gem since we Gems were first made. I don't know if I'm ready to stop."
"Are you afraid, Rose?" That made Pearl stop dead in her tracks. The idea that the legendary Rose Quartz herself could be afraid was too daunting to even consider, but Rose nodded anyway, and in that nod Pearl saw her life's beliefs come crumbling down.
"Of course I am." There was no hesitation in her words. "Aren't we all afraid to die?"
"No!" Pearl hoped the distress in her voice didn't hurt Rose as much as it hurt her. "Not you! Not Rose Quartz! You're better than the rest of us! You don't fear anything, least of all death!"
Rose snorted at that.
"The stories are always prettier than the reality, Pearl," she sighed, kneeling down to wipe the tears away from Pearl's face. Even on her knees she towered above Pearl like some sort of giant. Even the few fusions Pearl had met in her lifetime were smaller than Rose. How could such a titan ever be afraid?
"It's not fair," she sniffed, leaning into Rose's comforting touch. In Rose's embrace, she felt safe and warm. Maybe that was all that mattered. "I looked up to you."
"Pearl." Rose's voice was stern as she turned Pearl's face to face her own. "You're the smartest Gem I've ever known. You're brave and kind." Then she smiled, pure and bright as the midday sun. "You don't need to look up to anyone."
"Do you really think so?"
"Would I have made you my second if I didn't?"
She didn't have an answer to that. Instead she decided to change tacks, curious to know what exactly had prompted their heart-to-heart.
"Earth is beautiful. It's better than beautiful." Speaking those words filled her with a strength she'd never known before, as though suddenly she and the planet shared some sort of connection that transcended any other sort. She felt like she owed the Earth her protection, and in exchange, Earth would protect her. "But what can we do? We can't stop the Kindergarten now. It's going to activate soon."
"Huh." Rose grinned, an odd sort of grin that Pearl recognised. It spelled mischief.
"Why are you making that face?" Frowning, Pearl pushed herself up to her feet. "I know that face. It's the face of Rose Quartz with a terrible idea. A prank or a dare or something along those lines."
"You know me, Pearl," was the reply she got, as Rose leaned into her conspiratorially. "I've always got something up my sleeve."
The trip back to headquarters was mostly uneventful. She and Rose chatted a little about their plan, how the others would react, and what they would do with the Kindergarten. Then they talked about the Earth, and their feelings, and what it was to be a Gem. Truth be told, in the aftermath of it all, Pearl felt strangely light-hearted, and freer than she had in a very long time.
It wasn't until she walked into headquarters itself, and punched Spinel in the face in front of everyone else, that all hell broke loose.
By the time she'd gathered up everything she needed, the first skirmish had already broken out between security force members on the east side of the encampment. Those from the first dropship were almost unanimously loyal to Rose; the rest were toadies and could go to Gem Hell for all Pearl cared.
"Pearl!" she heard someone shout as she darted between makeshift buildings on the path to Kindergarten, careful to keep herself out of sight. Apparently not careful enough, though, as Ruby materialised in front of her, hyped up on adrenaline and bouncing on her feet.
"Ruby!" she hissed, pulling her into the shadows and shushing her harshly. Ruby looked shocked. Pearl understood; she doubted anyone was used to her being assertive. "What are you doing here?"
"I came looking for you!" Ruby whispered back, frantically scanning the area for eavesdroppers. "There're fights all over the place ever since Rose announced she was shutting operations down! Gems are going ballistic! I don't even know what's going to happen!"
"We're fighting back, that's what," Pearl growled, eyes flaring. She wasn't much of a fighter herself, but as a Gem she had access to a weapon and some training and she intended to make full use of it. "I'm going to shut Kindergarten down and stop them before they destroy Earth any more. This planet isn't going to be Yellow Diamond's golden ticket!"
"That's so cool!" Ruby whispered, awestruck. "I didn't know you cared so much about Gem politics!"
"What do you mean, Gem politics?" This was new information for Pearl. As a rough she hadn't been privy to much understanding of the Homeworld superstructure. Was there more at play here than she understood?
Quickly she stifled that thought. She trusted Rose enough to know she wouldn't use her as a pawn.
"It doesn't matter," she said before Ruby could start explaining. "I need to get past the Kindergarten guards. Can you distract them?"
"Sure!" The glint in Ruby's eyes scared Pearl a little. The other Gem was hot-headed, for sure, but she'd never struck Pearl as malicious. Now she bubbled with pent-up energy. "Just wait here!"
She did, for a few minutes. Eventually she peeked out, only to see a red flash streak past her, an assortment of other colours in hot pursuit. She was impressed at how dexterously Ruby led them on, and how uselessly they chased. She supposed Earth hadn't merited much in the way of competent protection.
When the danger had passed, she snuck out, barrelling down the path as quickly as she could. She was on a strict time limit. Soon what was currently disoriented skirmishing would become all-out warfare, and if she couldn't stop the harvesting before it produced its crop, there'd be no chance to save the Earth.
It'd all be for naught.
That thought propelled her as she raced towards the Kindergarten, through the valley, feeling the dirt shift and scrape beneath her feet.
This Kindergarten would only be the first. If they could not stop it here, the Gem presence would spread out and consume the planet. It, and its primitive peoples, could mount no resistance to the superior Gem onslaught.
In the cliffs on each side of her, as she ran in the direction of the Kindergarten main control panel, she could hear the rumble of awakenings. Tremors rocked the earth continuously, like shockwaves pounding away the very firmament, and within the stone walls she could already feel them.
The crop was coming to life.
It was already too late. As the control panel came into view, she saw, perched atop its operational podium, a figure she recognised far too well – a slim, pretty figure, as blue as the ocean, with elegant wings of water emerging from her back.
Lapis Lazuli had beaten her here. But how?
She slowed from a sprint, to a jog, then to a walk, as she approached the podium. As far as she could tell, Lapis hadn't yet noticed her presence. She hoped the element of surprised would give her an edge.
By the time she'd reached the steps the tremors were already too intense for her to handle, and she fell to the floor and rolled over, desperately trying to steady herself.
Atop the podium, Lapis stood, and turned to face her. Lapis' face betrayed no emotion, no intent. She only seemed interested in the Kindergarten itself. Pearl carefully rose to her feet, leaning on her summoned spear for stability, and gripping it tightly in preparation for battle.
"Lapis!" she yelled through the raging bellow of the Kindergarten. Its thumpers were beginning to come to life. Pearl had designed them meticulously in order to achieve maximal coverage, and though they were undoubtedly a masterpiece of design, now they really only served to infuriate her as every beat pounded her mind like a stake.
The other Gem didn't answer. Pearl wasn't sure whether she was ignoring her or simply hadn't heard, so she called again, louder this time.
"Lapis!" Her desperation tore through the rising winds with the ferocity of a hurricane. There was no way Lapis could miss it. "Answer me!"
Lapis stared down at her, expression still blank, so Pearl continued.
"What are you doing?" she yelled, clamouring to be heard above the din. "Stop this now! Before it's too late! We can still save the Earth!"
Between them the space felt like an infinite stretch, but the reply she heard, barely a whisper above the noise of the living Kindergarten, rang clear in her ears as though it had been spoken directly into her mind.
"Why would I want to save this miserable planet?" Lapis said coldly, her fists clenched. Pearl raised her spear in defiance. If it had to come to blows, then she would fight to her last.
"You're out of your element!" yelled Pearl, knowing the other Gem would call her bluff. Lapis didn't need water to outclass a rough. "We don't have to do this!"
"I'm sick and tired of listening to traitors!" Lapis cried, and with that, their conversation ended. She launched herself at Pearl with the force of a locomotive, fists raised to strike, and Pearl barely raised her spear in time to guard the first blow. The force pushed her back, hard, and she stumbled, only just managing to react in time to dodge the second and third.
Lapis' fists were like a rain of arrows, probing her defences for weaknesses, but she stood fast, bringing her spear around to meet every blow. For a first taste of combat, she found she had a natural aptitude for it. Maybe it was simply that the lack of water was more effective in her favour than she had guessed. Either way, as Lapis advanced, she retreated, but never lost her footing again, drawing Lapis closer and closer to where Pearl wanted her.
As Lapis jumped forward for a particularly reckless strike, Pearl span on the balls of her feet, deftly circling around the other Gem like a dancer in a ballet and bringing her spear down for a strike at Lapis' gem. Her spear clattered harmlessly off Lapis' wings, pulled inwards to shield her from the blow, but it was enough; Pearl took advantage of the momentary lapse in Lapis' balance to charge forward and shoulder-barge her into the path of a nearby thumper.
The world seemed to slow down to a crawl as Lapis careened towards the focal point of the thumper. Pearl's gambit, quickly devised and cleverly executed, would bring the other Gem beneath its iron blow, crushing and potentially killing her. It was a brutal and merciless thing, and Pearl hated herself for it, but she knew it had to be done. Her body couldn't survive any more punishment from Lapis, and Lapis herself was infinitely less merciful than she.
As Lapis fell, and the thumper came inexorably down, Pearl could have sworn someone screamed. She didn't know whether it was her, Lapis, or someone else, but whoever it was, it came too late to silence Lapis' awful death rattle as the thumper plunged onto her gem.
As her body dematerialised, leaving only dust in its wake, Pearl fell to her knees. She'd never had to fight before, let alone another Gem. Killing Lapis had been a necessary evil, or, at least, that was what she tried to tell herself. The words felt empty. There was no reprieve for her now; she was a murderer, pure and simple.
At least, that was how she felt, until she noticed a small blue gem, shaped like a teardrop and thoroughly cracked, as the thumper rose up into the air. She dived forward without a second thought, just in time to snatch it out of the thumper's path before it could be destroyed, and pocketed it.
She may not have grieved for Lapis, but at least now she didn't have to grieve for herself.
Still, there was no more time to be disconsolate. She had a job to do.
The steps leading up to the Kindergarten's operational podium were even more imposing looking at them now, weary and aching with the rigours of battle. Climbing the steps seemed like the most arduous thing she'd ever done, but eventually she made it to the top, proud and determined to set right what she'd put wrong.
She punched the security codes into the console. She hoped that, in the space of a day since she'd last been at it, no one had changed the pass. If they had, it would all be for naught (and it felt like the most stupid way to lose the whole war of all). Thankfully, it seemed the codes were unchanged, and she seated herself at the computer as it brought up the display interface.
She typed in a few precursory commands. Apparently she'd done her job spectacularly; all parameters were within expected operational levels, and some even exceeded them. She'd cultivated a record-breaking crop. The thought that, had she remained loyal, she could have had any job in the fleet she wanted, even as a rough, did not inspire her as much as she'd have liked.
There had never previously been a recorded instance of cessation of operations as far as she was aware, so the actual process of putting a stop to it all eluded her. It might well have happened on some backwater world in the middle of nowhere, but it had never made it back to Homeworld for the history books.
"Looks like you'll just have to wing it," she mumbled, continuing to enter commands blindly. She had no idea what she was doing, and the Kindergarten looked like it was just about to kick into gear. To be felled at the final hurdle felt like the biggest insult of all.
Then, a bright spark in true Rose fashion lit up her mind, and she laughed the most evil and devilish laugh of her life.
Maybe she couldn't stop the Kindergarten, but she could certainly destroy it.
She input a series of commands that would overload the thumpers, sending pulses through the ground that would cause the infrastructural machinery to explode. With her perfect calibrations, the coverage would be just wide enough to decimate the entire Kindergarten. She supposed her meticulous attention to detail had paid off; just as it had given life to such an incredible crop, it would decisively take that life away.
She entered the final command and locked the panel for good measure. It would go up in flames too, though she imagined some of the machinery would survive. There was no way to get rid of it all without a full demolitions crew and she certainly didn't have access to one of those.
Scrambling down the podium, she rushed towards the only spot she knew would be out of the blast range, at the mouth of the furthest canyon. She hoped she'd given herself enough time. Five minutes had been the planned delay, but now it felt like that had been cutting it short.
As she passed through the Kindergarten one final time, she looked up at the stone walls, full of holes, and felt regret well up inside. Her actions would bring an end to this entire crop-
No, it felt demeaning to call it a crop, especially now, after what she'd done. They deserved proper treatment. She was going to blow these unborn Gems up, and kill them all before they had a chance to taste the life she'd had, the one she'd savoured and relished. Part of her hated herself for that. Countless Gems put to the sword because she wasn't willing to accept the loss of a single planet.
The rest of her chided herself for being willing to put the lives of a few Gems above the entire ecosystem of the Earth, and by extension the rest of the cultivated galaxy. What her people had done to prolong their own existences was monstrous. She couldn't let it stand.
A stirring movement in one of the holes – a swathe of purple that flashed in her eyes for only a second – caught her by surprise. It wasn't possible for one of them to have awakened already unless it hadn't properly gestated. She wasn't aware of Gem crops having runts the way some animal litters did.
Moving towards it, she took a closer look. This one was planted firmly at the foot of one of the canyon walls, in an odd position that kept it directly out of sunlight at all times. How could she have overlooked such a glaring design flaw?
She cooed into the hole, hoping for a response. When none came, she edged forward slightly. She knew she was running out of time, but if someone else was alive in here, she couldn't leave them behind to be destroyed.
"Hello?" she called into the hole. Nothing.
As she turned away, the feeling of a hand tugging at her skirt caught her attention, and she spun around.
It was a Gem after all. Purple, short, stout, and entirely unaware of her situation. She seemed lost and confused.
"Hello," she said, trying to smile as warmly as Rose did. She wished Rose had been the one to find her. Kindness wasn't her strong suit. "Did you just wake up?"
The runt nodded. Pearl admired her bravery, and pitied her for her situation. This was all her fault.
"Listen to me," she continued, kneeling down to look the runt in the eye. "We are in grave danger here. Do you understand?"
The purple Gem shook her head and pointed towards her hole. She tugged at Pearl again, seemingly eager to go back, but Pearl refused, taking her by the arm and pulling her away. Her reluctance was almost palpable.
Pearl had heard of this. Some Gems didn't adjust well to leaving their place in the Kindergarten, where they were strongly connected to their birth planet. "Mother Earth Blues", Rose had called it. Pearl had never experienced it as leaving her birth Kindergarten had been an absolute blessing.
Despite being well and truly worn out, Pearl dragged the other Gem away, fighting her stubborn struggling as much as she could. They didn't have much time.
When the Gem broke free and rushed back to its hole, Pearl considered simply leaving her behind, before coming to a startling realisation.
She had overlooked the Gem's birthplace because its location had been completely hidden from her. She hadn't even prepared for it to be there; it had slipped under her radar. Much as it galled her that her meticulousness hadn't been complete, it also presented a messianic opportunity.
It would be shielded from the blast zone.
Yielding to the other Gem, she holed up inside the cavern, finally letting her body simply give in to its exhaustion and wait out the impending doom.
Her body hurt.
The formerly white-hot pain coursing through her from end to end had subsided into a dull ache in all her limbs, but the deep welt in her gem sent shocks through her with every step that refused to abate. Just thinking felt like fighting through a wildfire with a very dry stick, and it took all the energy she could muster just to drag herself into a dark corner before she collapsed.
She smiled, ignoring the pain. It had been a good day.
Next to her, the purple Gem smiled too, though she herself wasn't sure why.