A/N: I don't own Red vs. Blue. Rooster Teeth does, and if I owned them, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.
It has now nearly been a year since I had let the Meta out into our world. It has taken four months to repair my lab that was destroyed by Caboose's and Simmons brawl, and I'm finally ready to bring the next two out. "Come on, son. Tell us who is coming out." Sarge asked for the tenth time that hour.
"I told you it will be a surprise." I told him. All of the Reds and Blues, plus Delta, were gathered around me as I put the finishing touches on the two models. I saved the models to the system and hit the activation sequence. The lasers in the chamber activated and the black vortex quickly appeared and then disappeared in an explosion of light. As the light faded there were two soldiers, one in orange and another in teal, sleeping back to back.
"Why that little... sleeping with the enemy! I'll wring his..." Sarge started to say, before he realized what he implied.
"Sir, may I say something?" Simmons asked. Sarge nodded, the color on his checks being brighter than his armor. "That was wrong on too many levels to count." Simmons finished.
"Well, now that is over, how do you suppose we wake them?" Alpha asked.
"I've got an idea." I said. I typed a few codes into my terminal, and a pair of speakers lowered into the chamber. "Everyone, helmets on and secured." I warned as I slid a pair of heavy duty earplugs into my own ears. I clicked an option and suddenly the loudest death metal song ever recorded blared out. The windows shook and rattled in their reinforced frames. I let it play for a few minutes then silenced the throbbing speakers. The two soldiers still snored on.
With that fail, we were worried that something was wrong with them until we heard Simmons and Caboose chuckling. "Don't worry; we know how to wake them." Simmons said, as they entered the chamber. They walked over to their respective team mate and drove their armored boot into their targets groin.
"I swear the kid's not mine!" Tucker yelled in a high pitch voice, bolting upright.
"What's your problem with my balls?" Grif groaned, gripped his balls, and fell sideways.
We stared at Simmons and Caboose in shock. "We found out years ago that the only way to wake them quickly was to do that." Caboose explained. I shook my head, and had the rest help carry the two wounded soldiers to the infirmary down in the base.
A few hours later, as the two newcomers were emptying their leg armor of melted ice, I explained what happened and why they were here. "I figured I was due for another position. Bow-chicka-bow-OW!" Tucker joked, before I slapped him behind the head.
"I AM FUCKING SERIOUS!" I shouted, making both of them to shiver in fear. I took a calming breath and continued. "We now face the worst threat mankind has ever faced, and we need everyman who has faced him. Will you help?" I asked them. They looked at each other, then at me, and nodded.