Warning: Profanity, sexual situations and rotten eggs ahead.

Heartfelt and grateful thanks to everyone reading! This chapter was less than cooperative in being written- so hope it was worth the wait!

Part 9 Summary: The Hudson-Hummel Halloween party is in full swing. Finn almost loses his temper when he watches Puck dance provocatively with Rachel, who is in costume as a slutty school girl Brittney Spears. Finn confronts Rachel outside the party and reveals that he is not romantically interested in Santana, and that he is intensely jealous of Puck's attentions to Rachel, letting slip that Puck hooked up with Quinn. Rachel finally realizes that Puck is the father of Quinn's baby.

Part 10- What Are Best Friends For? Not That!

"Self-worth not what it should be." Arghh...So- I wasn't a self-righteous puffed-up prick screwing around on his wife with a stripper while hawking ridiculous psychobabble to innocent teenagers. Dr. Strange really needed a serious ego-shrinking experience for writing that nugget of shit on his little pad during my appointment. I tried my best each week to puncture his gigantic ego, but I was only one person for fuck sakes. His problems went way beyond what I could handle with my bi-weekly sessions of insults and snide remarks. The man needed serious help, I tell you!

Besides, I felt my self-worth was on the upswing, anyway. In the last half hour since I had arrived at the Hudson/Hummel Halloween Party I had been mistaken for a stripper (I was choosing to view being mistaken for a skanky, hot chick in a complimentary way, thank you!), and, more importantly, I had actually figured out a key plot point in the Shakespearean drama (or was it a farce?) that was my love life.

In an interesting side note: Puck shared his name with a character in one of Shakespeare's plays, who famously said, "Cupid is a knavish lad, thus to make poor females mad." No fucking kidding. Cupid, the baby-faced bastard, and Noah "Puck" Puckerman, a.k.a. – the horny bastard, both had the honor of being on my shit list for really pissing me off and generally driving me crazy. I'm sure my shrink would heartily agree that I was a very angry, crazy bitch, who needed to get a clue about love, but I digress...

Standing in semi-darkness with Finn outside the Hudson/Hummel Halloween Party:

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, as what Finn said, or almost said, sank in. So, Quinn had cheated on Finn with Puck and had made the rather colossal mistake of getting knocked up in the process. How in the hell had I not figured this out sooner? That was why Finn had acted so strangely on the day everything went all screwy when he left with Santana to work on their meiosis project. I cringed a little thinking about how I must have appeared to Finn while talking to Puck in the computer lab that day. Finn had probably been jealous when he thought he saw me flirting with Puck then and later in the cafeteria. To top it off- a few days later, Finn witnessed Puck kiss me in my car. Following twisted fucked-up logic of the teenaged male mind, he must have thought I was just like his two-timing bitch of an ex-girlfriend. I ought to be insulted, but somehow, I wasn't. I probably would have thought the same thing, if I'd been him. Having a penis probably didn't help his thought process very much in this. Still, he should have just asked me about it...

I opened my eyes and looked up at Finn, putting my hands on his green face, glowing dimly in the dark night, "Finn- Puck and I are just friends. I mean, you saw, he did kiss me in my car that day in the rain, but I threatened to bitch-slap him if he ever did it again. Tonight, I was being kind of bitch because I was pissed at you and okay...a little... jealous and hurt." Ugh. What was this drivel I was spouting now? What I said was true, but why the hell did I say it out loud?

"You were? Really?" His tippy smile got a little bigger, "You have no reason to be jealous of Santana, I swear. I mean, yeah, she's hot and all, but she's like a bad case of jock itch or something," he rolled his eyes, "Hard to get rid of and makes you want to grab your junk and pray for relief. (Yuck!) Although, if Brittany shows the least bit of interest tonight, I have a feeling Santana'd forget all about me, so that 'hard to get rid of part' probably isn't true. Not that I don't want to get rid of her, even though I have nothing against her personally...but I don't think of her in that way. Not like you."

I noticed he had an endearing tendency to say random crap when he was nervous. I also realized standing there studying his downcast face in the dim light, that he actually seemed nervous- like full-on like he was going to retch nervous. Should I like back up just in case? Really though, it was just so... sweet. I pretty much forgave him then and there for everything, but I figured I needed to make him work a little bit more before I clued him into that.

"So, what is your costume anyway? I mean you're green, and your hair is... different," I reached up and lightly ruffled his greasy hair styled in a flattop, "Uh, Finn, you didn't actually use grease from the tire shop on your hair, did you?"

"No," he scoffed rather defensively, "Kurt said that would probably make it all fall out. It's some hair product he had that reeks of some kind of fruit or something. I'm supposed to be Frankenstein like in the movies. I figured I had the height thing going for me, so..." He shrugged and smiled down at me.

"Ah," I replied, hiding my amusement and relief rather badly, "Frankenstein Finn, nice alliteration."

"Yeah," Finn said thoughtfully, "I guess he couldn't read being made from a dead guy's brain and random body parts."

Should I try to clear that mess up or not? I shrugged mentally, "And Frankenstein and Finn both start with F, like how you signed your note. I like it." My voice trailed off at the last phrase, and I took a step closer to him. I could smell the Finn-smell I loved, even through Kurt's crazy mango papaya scented hair product.

"Your costume is way better than mine," his glance flickered down to my breasts pushed up by the bustier, "But I have to say, I'm glad you don't dress like this everyday. It's kind of...," he reached for the braid hanging next to my cheek and gave it a gentle tug, pulling me toward him, "... distracting, and I have a feeling, I'd be getting in fights a lot."

"Fights?" I just couldn't think clearly with him so close and gazing so intensely at me in the semi-darkness.

"Rachel..." he whispered my name, his breath warm against my lips in the cool, dark air, "I want..."

I want to rip your clothes off and have my way with you, that is what I want! This errant thought flitted through my mind as I murmured the question, "You want?"

"I want..." he swallowed thickly, "So much. I don't know where to start. I'd scare you if I said what I'm thinking." He moved to stand even closer to me, his sinewy hands moving down my neck under the edges of my tiny sweater. His fingers clenching slightly over the bare skin at my shoulders as he leaned in to rest his lips near my ear, "I want to take you against this wall so much that it scares me. I know we can't, but I want to so much." His lips brushed lightly over my ear lobe then down my neck. I shivered.

My back was against the slightly abrasive surface of the brick wall of his house, which was a good thing, since I was slowly melting into a blob of sexed-up goo, who apparently couldn't stand on her own anymore. All the weeks of avoiding each other, of denying the heat between us had taken their toll on us both.

Somehow, I raised myself on my toes, my hands moving on his chest, my fingers scraping upward to the collar of his shirt where I could brush the bare skin at his throat, feeling his pulse thrumming madly under my fingertips. I turned my head, so my lips were against his as I spoke softly, "This is crazy, but I want that, too, but we shouldn't. Finn...I've never felt this... what is this? It's like I have to have you."

My lips brushed his hungrily, nipping, at the corner of his mouth. He moaned softly, his long arm moving behind my hips to lift me and cushion me between his warmth and the rough wall. I felt him grind into me, his hardness against my belly.

Suddenly, Finn froze. Oh, fuck, not again. The tire shop had been bad enough for him... but then something smelled well... really bad, like rotten actually. Finn suddenly spun around, and I automatically put out my hands to brace myself against his back, and my fingers were instantly covered in the smelly slime oozing down the back of his shirt. It smelled really rank. Rotten eggs. Gross! Then I heard evil laughter somewhere out in the darkness of the yard. I felt the impact through Finn as more eggs hit his chest. Then a rancid missile ricocheted off his shoulder and rolled to strike the side of my head and slide sickeningly down my cheek. Ugh. My stomach churned at the stench.

He winced and exclaimed, "Fuck! Rachel, stay behind me. I'm going to try to get to the basement door. Just stay behind me, okay?" If the guy was willing to take a bullet, or in this case rotten eggs, for me, who was I to burst his chivalrous, albeit sexist, bubble?

As another rotten egg landed on the brick wall next to me splattering me with more vileness, I spluttered, "Finn, what the hell?"

"Karofsky, maybe," Finn muttered, as we did an awkward two-person sidestep towards the the basement door while rotten eggs landed on and around us. Once we were next to the door, I reached back to grab the handle, and wrenched it open, loud music from inside suddenly blaring jaringly. Finn shoved me through the door and ordered, "Go Rachel! Find Kurt."

Every muscle in Finn's body tensed just before he took off at a run into the darkness of the yard. The idiot was going after our unknown attackers! Was he insane? He was bound to be outnumbered.

I turned to the party, which was in full swing, and luckily, most people were too drunk or too busy partying to notice a now egg covered stripper/Brittney. Puck was standing by the door near his cooler smiling flirtatiously at a Cheerio I didn't know, offering her a beer and his trademark suggestive smirk. Still couldn't believe Finn thought I'd be taken in by that, and Quinn's baby-daddy no less.

"Puck!" He turned to look at me and wrinkled his nose when he caught a whiff of the stench wafting off of me. "Finn's out there alone chasing down somebody, Karofsky maybe, who just chucked a bunch of rotten eggs at us! We have to go help!"

Puck bellowed the names of several football players, and they clustered in a group by the door within seconds. "Some sons of bitches just egged Finn and Berry out there. Which way did Finn go, Berry?"

"I think to the right there by the shed," I pointed toward the area near the outline of a garden shed where I had last seen Finn's tall shadow.

I started out the doorway after the football players now running pellmell into the darkness, but Puck grabbed my arm to restrain me, "Hold on there, killer. If it is Karofsky, sure as shit he ain't by his lonesome. Stay here. Finn would have my ass if you somehow got hurt in this."

As Puck took off, I stamped my foot like a petulant three year old, but I didn't care. "I can take care of myself, dammit," I shouted into the darkness to no one in particular.

I stood for a few moments just inside the doorway, looking into the now sinister blackness outside, debating what to do next. It was almost eerily quiet, except for the occasional rustle of footsteps over dry grass and leaves or a quiet call of one of the football players to another.

I started when Kurt came to stand next to me, keeping a respectful distance from my reek, "Rachel, let's go get you cleaned up. Puck and the other guys can take care of this. You'll do no one any good stumbling around out there in the dark."

Well, fuckity fuck! I hated it when he was right. Just about every atom in me wanted to storm out there to find Finn to make sure he was okay and then find Karofsky and plant my foot in his groin.

"I'll wait until Finn gets back. I can stand the smell a little bit longer," I straightened my shoulders and walked to stand outside the door to avoid the curious gazes I was getting from the other party goers at this point. No sense in making anyone else suffer my rotten egg eau de parfum, after all. I had gotten sort of used to the stink by now, and not breathing through my nose helped.

"Not sure the rest of us can," Kurt murmured.

"I heard that," I retorted, leaning tiredly against the brick wall, "You don't have to stand with me, Kurt. Go back in to Blaine. I'll be okay."

"Now what kind of friend would I be if I deserted you out here?" Kurt's eyes trailed over me and tsked in dismay, "My masterpiece- ruined. Those animals. I hope Finn and Puck catch them and beat them to a pulp."

I cast Kurt a sardonic look. Call Kurt all kinds of derogatory names relating to his sexual orientation- he just shrugged it off, but screw up one of his creations, and he was out for blood. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I wasn't planning on wearing the costume again, anyway. Definitely not a stay below the radar outfit, although Finn had seemed to like it before we were so rudely interrupted. As the thought of our third make-out session crossed my mind, I shifted uncomfortably and wondered what possessed me to keep climbing that same damned tree, other than the incredible view when I got up there. It's like when you go to your stylist on particularly bad hair day and tell him you want something different, and you trust him completely, and you walk out of the salon with something even Kelly Osborne wouldn't try. Never ends well.

I saw a mohawked silhouette supporting a tall shadow limping back toward the house, and my heart leapt up my throat in spite of my recent thoughts, "Finn? Oh, shit!" I ran the few feet toward him.

"I'm okay, Rach, just got the wind knocked out of me, is all." Finn said a little breathlessly.

"Yeah, Berry, he's had worse than this from me at football practice," Puck said with pride, "He'll be fine. Rick the Stick landed a sucker punch before Huddy and me tackled his ass."

I put my arm around Finn's waist at his other side, my hand sticking to his egg encrusted shirt.

"Are you okay? Did they get you very much?" He looked down at me with concern.

He was worried about me? Really? By this time we were at the back door again, and the light from inside the basement illuminated his face now streaked with egg and dirt in addition to the green Frankenstein paint.

"Just a little splatter from what you didn't block," I replied with faux-carelessness, "Handy to have a big guy for a human shield." I tightened my arm around his waist in a one arm hug.

"It was Karofsky, Azimio and Rick- the same guys who gave you and Kurt trouble in the parking lot the other week. I guess they thought tonight would be a good time to try for revenge by egging the house. They got really lucky since you and I were out here," Finn looked angry as he explained, "They sort of got away, since old Mr. Riley, our back door neighbor, started screaming he was going to call the cops if we didn't get the hell out of his yard, so we all scattered. We did get a couple of good hits in beforehand, though."

He and Puck exchanged cocky grins with each other, and I could feel the bro love wafting off of them. I will never understand men. One minute at each others' throats sworn enemies, and the next, both Puck and Finn seemed to be suffering total fight boners and the best of friends. Whatever.

As we walked into the remnants of the party, Kurt cleared the way through the few gawking partiers that still remained saying, "Go get cleaned up you two. I'll be up in a few minutes. Blaine, Puck, and I will try to rinse the egg off the side of the house with the garden hose before it dries. It's much harder to remove once it's dry."

Finn and I trudged up the two flights of stairs in silence to the hall outside Finn and Kurt's bathroom. Okay, this was fucking awkward, standing reeking of rotten egg with a guy you were practically dry humping thirty minutes ago.

"Maybe you should just give me a ride home, and I can get cleaned up there," I said nervously.

"And rub congealed rotten egg all over the seats of my truck. No, I don't think so, Rachel," Finn responded curtly (Never jeopardize the man's truck seats- got it!), "You can take a shower in our bathroom and wash your hair, and I'll find you something to throw on."

Standing in the hot spray of Kurt and Finn's shower 15 minutes later, I had to agree it had been a fantastic idea. I'd already washed the raw egg out of my hair with some of Kurt's $30 a bottle shampoo. Now where was the conditioner? I looked at the array of hair and bath products lined up like neat little soldiers in the metal rack hanging from a hook on the shower wall. I couldn't resist picking up a bottle of body wash and flipping open the cap. Yummy! Finn in a bottle. Well, almost. Nothing compared with the real thing, of course. I jumped as a knock on the door startled me out of my lustful imaginings of lathering Finn's bare chest and tummy with my soapy hands. Finn's muffled voice came through the bathroom door, "Rachel? Can you hear me? I have a t-shirt and stuff for you to change into..."

"I'm in the shower... you can just put them on the counter in here if you want," I called out before I thought better of it. I heard the door open. He couldn't see me through the shower curtain, but the thought of standing stark naked in the same room with Finn Hudson was doing funny things to several key parts of my body all at once. I leaned against the cold tile wall of the shower for a second, trying to pull myself together.

His voice sounded strained on the other side of the thin curtain dividing us, as he said, "Uh, Rachel...I've got one of my clean t-shirts and a pair of shorts, but they're going to be huge on you. Something of Kurt's would probably fit better, but I'm not allowed near his wardrobe, so I'm not sure where he keeps this sort of stuff. I should just go get him, he'd know better what would fit you..."

Again with the nervous babbling, so evidently, me being bare-assed naked was affecting him, too. I pulled the edge of the shower curtain so I could peek out without giving him a free show, no matter how much I might want to. "Hey, those will be fine. Thanks."

It looked like he'd already showered, his face was scrubbed clean and his hair was wet yet obviously back to it's natural style and lacking the smelly pomade. He stood there frozen in the center of the bathroom staring at me, his mouth ajar, his mobile eyebrows appeared ready to leap right off of his face, "Such a bad idea coming in here, Rach..." He took a couple of faltering steps towards me.

"Bad idea in what way, Mr. Hudson?" I smiled in what I hoped was a sexy, yet non-slutty way, as I clutched the plastic curtain in my fist.

"I-I want you so bad..." Finn muttered with brutal honesty I wasn't expecting. He was standing within inches of me now- staring intently, hands clenched at his sides, the flimsy shower curtain all that separated us. Could a girl have an orgasm from just a look? Maybe.

I didn't even pause to think, I just relaxed my fist, and the curtain dropped, revealing about half of my body. Finn's eyes widened, and his pupils dilated until they were almost black. Suddenly, his arms were wrapped around me, and his mouth was attacking mine underscoring the fierceness of his last statement and attesting his need. Oblivious to the water rushing over us, he leaned in and pressed himself to my wet nakedness, and I welcomed him- wrapping myself around him, my breasts pressing into his t-shirt covered chest, water soaking into the fabric. Those delightfully strong fingers of his trailed down my back, gliding slowly over my wet skin to the curve of my hips and around to cup the globes of my ass. His fingers squeezed as he pulled me toward him until we were pressed together, our height difference lessened by the fact that I stood elevated several inches in the shower.

"Finn...mmmm...oh... yes..." I mumbled incoherently against his lips, as he grabbed my leg to wrap it around his hip, bringing my happy place into contact with his, so they could be happy together with very little between them.

Did I mention, he had on relatively thin athletic shorts, which were by now kind of wet? Arching my back, I rubbed myself up against him, my core against his hardness. Hoo ha! Yes, that was throbbing in time, too. Oh, yes! Right there. Yes! Yes! Yes!

"Rachel? Finn?" I heard Kurt's voice as if he were calling from far away, then suddenly much closer, "Oh, dear lord! Sorry!"

Why oh why- for the love of all that is finally getting closer to a mind-blowing orgasm? Vag-blocked by my own best friend. Why? Why? I ask you- WHY?

Will Finn and Rachel ever finish the deed? I certainly hope so! Please review like you mean it!