Disclaimer: All characters, settings, and diabolical plans in this piece of fiction belong to Capcom.

March 2009

Dear Diary...

Oh, this had turned out to be just a glorious day. Really, it's been incredibly amazing- nothing at all has come up that would leave me in a foul mood.

Nothing at all.

Because on such an important day as today, where timing is everything and where my plans must go as follows in order to have my plans of Uroboros spreading through and infecting the entire world, I couldn't possibly have anyone from the BSAA stumble upon my plans on the most important day of my life.

But because I seem to have the absolute worst luck in the entire history of mankind (It's as if the Universe wants me to lose), who else should show up but two BSAA agents, bent on destroying my wonderful plans and 'save' the entire world. When really, I'm the one who's saving it, they just don't have the mental capacity to see that what I am doing will bring salvation to the entire planet.

And because of my entirely rotten luck, I have the bloody American, Chris Redfield show up with his new partner, an African native Sheva Alomar. They were originally sent to investigate that idiotic Irving and his most outlandish ways of conducting a business that should be kept on the down low. Even after sending Jill in to prevent him from doing anything too stupid (as well as to keep him in line) he still managed to attract the attention of the bloody BSAA in not only Africa, but half way across the world in bloody North America!

I'm sorry, but as you can see I am a little high strung at the moment. Not even a day away from a new Genesis and everything I have worked so painstakingly hard at could come to an end because of a loud mouthed, uncouth klutz, with horrible grammar. I really should have spent my time inventing and developing a vaccine against stupidity…

In any matter, I spent the first day the BSAA were here trying to ignore them and just let them destroy Irving, until Excella started to report to me that Chris had decided to poke around in territory that was far too close for comfort (I'm surprised he hasn't had his hand bitten off yet). Every time he ran into Excella (which happened a lot in the short amount of time he's been in Africa), he's been yelling about Jill and generally acting like an obsessed puppy dog. Bloody man gets far too attached to things, including me. I swear he managed to stick a tracker on me and is following me and planning the perfect moment to barge in like an overeager Yankee in order to destroy my well thought out plans!

But after Irving passed away (I must have given Excella the wrong virus to give to him… oops) and my little BSAA friends grew closer to me and began pestering Excella even further, I knew I had to step in.

So, as Chris and Ms. Alomar found their way through the mazes and ancient cities that are incredibly well hidden on the African continent, looting lost treasures, and blowing things up, I set a small plan of action into motion. As they walked into yet another ancient ruin that archaeologists as well as the African Government seem unaware of, Jill in her disguise was sent to attack them after Excella pestered them. Sometimes women do have their uses. After Jill broke a few of Shevas bones and confused Chris (which isn't hard to do), I decided to step in.

And the first thing Chris pointed out was that I was alive… again. I should have expected it now that I think about it further. But there is no harm in reflecting on the matter of Chris being an idiot; it only furthers my drive to destroy all the weak and inferior on this planet.

After Chris pointed out the obvious and waved his gun around a little for good measure, I decided that a game was in order, but it had to be quick. For you see, I need to inject myself with a stabilizer to help control the virus within me. I should have mentioned this before, because you know I've been 'infected' for ten years now and you would think such information would have come up… but no, now that so long as passed I will point out my one weakness. So I could only really spare seven minutes of my time before another injection was needed. But, before we could fight I just had to share with Chris one last little present.

And so, after confusing him yet again (I should really just give him a math exam and watch him have a brain aneurism. It would take care of my problem in a much easier and timely fashion), I revealed Jill to him. I took great joy out of seeing him try to talk to her, only to be forcibly shut up thanks to Jill's reflexes. And then the game was on.

Jill quickly became occupied by Sheva in a brutal brawl that no doubt would highly entertain the strait male population between sixteen and twenty-five, while I kicked Chris through a door and into a maze like crypt. It probably wasn't the best idea to let Chris run around in a maze, but I would be lying if I hadn't found amusement in taunting the male as he hid around corners and tried to shoot me in the back. Really, where has all the honour in fighting gone?

I managed to find Chris and catch him off guard a few times, and beat him before my watch flashed up at me that the seven minutes I had set to 'play' were up and that I had to leave. We all ended up the stairs, and I had planned on entering the elevator and leaving Jill to finish Chris and Sheva off, but something rather… odd happened.

Seemed Jill's mind was still rejecting the 'medicine' I was injecting her with in order to control her, and in one last attempt tried to rip off the device I had strapped to her chest. I still don't know if she meant to rip the device off, or flash the two of them, but in any case it certainly was distracting. But I quickly got my bearings and injected her with an extra strong dose of the medicine and left her to deal with my old friend and his new sidekick.

But of course… they saved Jill. Yes, they shot and grabbed her chest enough times to rip the device off of her, which brought her back to her 'normal' mind frame… which involved not killing the two. Good help is hard to find these days.

So the two continued to follow me and managed to get on to the giant cargo ship I had bought to carry all of the Uroboros virus, as well as the jet I would be using to spread Uroboros. But of course, I can't have these two tumbling about and shooting holes in my plans, and seeing as how regular infected men don't really do well against Chris and Sheva's incredible luck, something else had to be done.

So, with promises of a passionate night together I managed to inject Excella with Uroboros and sent her on her way to the middle of the ship where I had placed a convenient pile of dead humans, insuring that once Uroboros rejected her, the virus would meld with all of the bodies around and crush the dear BSAA members. And now I am watching the show from my perch above everyone else, waiting for the moment I will see Chris be crushed by giant tentacles. Hopefully they won't notice the giant ray gun on this old ship…

Oh, well it seems they have noticed it but it's unlikely it will do them any good… any moment now I shall see what I've been waiting for for ten years. Chris Redfields' death…

…

…

BLOODY HELL. They… I mean… it is… dead! THEY KILLED IT. THE MASSIVE AMOUNT OF SHEER POWER AND DESTRUCTION… KILLED.

BY AN APE AND A WOMAN.

I am just…I mean… rarely am I at a loss for words but… but there is just so much rage coursing through me right now. I feel as if I want to destroy something. Preferably a human's face.

That is it.

I am going to put this rage into a useful place in my mind and I am going to finish this. As the old, tired, and completely overused cliché goes 'if you want something done right, do it yourself'. Or in my case, it would be 'if you want to see Chris Redfield die, do it yourself and do not rely on viral tentacles'. Tonight is the night that it will all be over.

And tonight is the night I will destroy the world and re-build it, exact my revenge on Chris, and kill him once and for all. And then I may finally be able to rest for once knowing that all of the stupid creatures on this planet no longer exist and that the world will be a better place thanks to it being run and controlled by an intelligent, good looking, and brilliant mastermind like myself.

But now I must stop writing down the truths of the world and go forth with my mission, I've wasted enough time (some would say I've wasted ten years) and writing further in these Annals which document my rise to power could complicate the matter.

No matter though, I'm sure the next entry will detail my mighty glory as the new God of this world, and how I finally destroyed everything I hate and find displeasing.

Until next time…

Albert Wesker

Authors Note: Sorry Wesker, there shall not be a next time. Unless you managed to survive the end of RE5, which according to Capcom- you didn't. Anyways! Thats it folks, the end of the Wesker Annals. What started out as a small joke between my friends and I turned into this... special story. But thanks so much to all of you guys who read/reviewed/favorited and generally enjoyed the story- I am glad that I was able to make you guys laugh when writing as such a 'super villian'! I was given the idea to write some journal entires as Chris, but I don't know how entertaining that would be seeing as how he's not as egotistacle and flamming as Wesker! He's just silly, haha. Anyways, thats enough from me! Again, thanks you guys!