Harry Potter was about to turn eight years old when Sirius Black came up with what he would claim for many years afterwards was one of his greater strikes of genius.
Harry Potter, years later, would agree with Sirius wholeheartedly when he told this story to people who had heard it many times before.
The Dursleys, much to Harry and Sirius' amazement, never found out about what Sirius called the Operation Birthday, but Petunia was skeptical about the pair of mysterious footprints on her kitchen floor after the Dursleys had returned from their trip.
Sirius and Harry had lived isolated from the muggle world for most of Harry's life. This was not a conscious choice by either party, but when Petunia encouraged Dudley to spread rumors throughout the school about Harry's hygiene, forbade any visitors who were not A) clients, B) friends of Dudley, C) her friends, or D) anyone suitable to happened to come by, there was little Sirius could do. Children were inclined to listen to Dudley, since he was larger and fatter than most of them, and the few who saw Harry as a normal kid couldn't interact with him very much outside of school. Of course, they were allowed to meet at the neighborhood park for picnics, and the child would often invite Harry over to his house, but without reciprocation, parents were inclined to wonder.
Petunia Dursley had a reputation for gossip around the neighborhood, and this gave her power. She never lied about her neighbors, as far as they knew, so the neighbors had no reason to suspect when she talked about her good for nothing brother in law (as she called Sirius) and his rearing of her delinquent nephew. The neighbors knew, somewhat, about the lawsuit, but because it had occurred within the wizarding world, only the Daily Prophet had reported the news. The neighbors believed that there was some sort of custody dispute: as Petunia told it, Harry's parents died in a car accident one night and the police brought young Harry to their home. Months later, a mysterious man named Sirius demanded permission to be able to raise his nephew, but he was penniless and could not afford a house. Therefore, Petunia and Vernon had been most generous ("for the sake of the boy," Petunia would say) and allowed Sirius to remain in their house and care for his nephew. Petunia would then add, voice lowering ominously, that the stay was supposed to be temporary, until Sirius got a job and could properly provide for his nephew. The trouble was, this never occurred and Petunia, Vernon, and Dudley were forced with this shady man until…
Petunia never continued after the "until". Neighbors, at this point, turned sympathetic and offered whatever means of support they could offer. Would Sirius take money to leave on his own, or with Harry?
"No, he was too proud to accept charity," Petunia would sigh, looking flustered.
Why couldn't Sirius hold a job?
"He belonged to a dark and mysterious religion, not recognized as valid by England's government, and his practices often frightened his bosses," Petunia would answer, looking disgusted. How long would he be staying?
At this point, Petunia would sigh and say that she hoped that Harry would be able to provide for his uncle after he had finished school.
Sirius had heard portions of this story enough times to be able to piece together what neighbors said about him behind his back. It was rude and insulting, but laughable in a strange way. Sirius did not care what a bunch of muggles thought about him and his "mysterious religion" and although it might be lonely for Harry at the present time, he would go to Hogwarts shortly after he turned eleven, and then he would become as popular as his father.
One part of the story that puzzled Sirius was the insistence of a blood relation between himself and Harry. Sirius had seen his family tree, and he and James had been related very distantly before the Potters were burned off the family tree. Of course, Sirius realized that if the neighbors knew that Harry was his godson, this would imply his religion was not so out of place with the rest of the world. Therefore, the Dursleys clung to a blood relationship, though not on their side (Sirius had been James' twin brother, according to Petunia). In this way, they could allow him to stay in their home, playing the martyrs, for the sake of Harry's sense of family.
It was in this way that Harry came to be seen as a victim in an unfortunate family relationship, tied to his father's will, and Sirius was viewed as a deranged madman who would not harm any of the neighbors, so long as he was left alone.
These stories made it immensely difficult for Harry to have normal birthday parties. There was no way that the Dursleys would allow magical folk into their homes, and few parents would allow their child to be placed in the extended care of a madman, regardless of how nice the children claimed he was.
Sirius had tried to keep his resent underfoot for the past six years, but as each birthday passed, it became harder. The Dursleys showered Dudley with all sorts of surprises, events that Harry and Sirius were not allowed to participate in. Last year, Dudley had gone to an amusement park with twenty children from school, and Sirius and Harry had been forced to retreat to Arabella Figg for the day. She spent much of the time showing Harry and Sirius pictures of her cats and trying to force leftovers down their throats. Harry had not complained, but Sirius knew that this exclusion had hurt, and he did not know how to relieve the pain or prevent the same from happening again.
Sirius had thought the situation over for several days before writing to Dumbledore and Remus about the problem. Remus offered them both his house the next time this happened, but Dumbledore's solution was more practical and, Sirius had to admit it, ingenious.
With the Ministry's permission, Sirius crafted a plan to get the Dursleys out of their hair for the week surrounding Harry's eighth birthday. They would win a dream vacation in a sweepstakes contest. Petunia entered these contests religiously, believing that any time she did not win a boat or item that she had no earthly use for, her chances for winning a larger prize would be multiplied. This time, she really would win a large prize, but that would be through magic.
Sirius believed that had Petunia known the reason behind her family winning a week long stay in Majorca, she would not have been as happy to go. Fortunately, leaving her in the dark while he accomplished this task was painfully easy. The person who drew the prizes was a wizard in disguise, named John Galwig, and he could easily enchant the entries to that, upon revealing the winner live on TV, every name would read "Petunia Dursley".
Afterwards, of course, Petunia's name would only exist on one sheet of paper, but only wizards who were trained at detecting magic would recognize this fraud.
Petunia would be none the wiser and would disappear with her arrogant husband and dreadful son for a week. During this time, Sirius would give Harry the best birthday party he had ever had.
Everything went according to the plan. Petunia did not suspect anything, but rather screamed giddily through her horse shaped mouth as the results of the draw were read. The tickets were for four people, so Petunia and Vernon told Dudley he could invite one of his friends on the trip. Dudley, of course, invited Piers, the head of a new gang they had started over the previous school year.
Sirius and Harry seemed invisible to the Dursleys as they went about their plans. Petunia decided that she had a lot of shopping to do to prepare for her trip, not only for herself but also for Dudley and Vernon. Dudley needed, among other things, a new swimsuit. He seemed to be growing fatter faster than ever these days, and the one Petunia bought him the previous summer no longer fit. (It was, however, at least five sizes too big for Harry.) She then decided that they would need fancy clothes for dining out, and she had to buy new jewelry to show off to "the natives". Sirius found himself wondering if Petunia realized she was spending the money she had saved on a free trip to buy unnecessary items in preparation for it.
They were, of course, unnecessary. Petunia's jewelry collection was extensive, and she had more clothes than his mother. Sirius doubted that he had ever seen her in the same outfit twice. She enforced these values upon Vernon, claiming that because he was the breadwinner in the family, it was his job to look twice as good as anyone else in the firm. Privately, Sirius thought that this was a near impossible challenge given how ugly Vernon looked, but he never voiced his opinion out loud.
During the week before the Dursleys left on their trip, Sirius and Harry entertained themselves by doing impressions of them and spying on them as they tried to determine what to pack and what magazines to read. Petunia had the idea that the people of Majorca were primitive, generally did not speak English, and performed animal sacrifices on a regular basis.
Given the lies about Sirius' mysterious religion, he was somewhat surprised that none of the neighbors suggested he accompany the Dursleys on their trip.
He was sure that no one had suggested such a thing because it would have put Petunia out considerably. He had seen her mad, once, and his ears had never been quite the same afterwards.
The Dursleys had reluctantly given Sirius and Harry permission to remain at number four, Privet Drive, while they went on vacation. Had it just been Harry, Sirius had no doubt that the Dursleys would send him to Mrs. Figg's house for the week. As it was, they certainly considered this, but decided against it. Mrs. Figg babysitting Harry would seem normal, but neighbors would talk if she was there with Sirius. The Dursleys, preferring to think of themselves as unfortunate victims, were not about to start the circulation of rumors suggesting any romantic goings on between Sirius and their neighbor.
Mrs. Figg was, however, supposed to check in daily to make sure the house was still standing and Harry was alive.
Vernon had explained this for the tenth time to Sirius when the younger man felt like he was about to lose his temper. He was not a dimwit, like their son; he had received top marks at Hogwarts and could follow instructions. Besides, once Vernon was gone, Sirius planned to ignore everything he had been told and use magic to clean up whatever might result. It might be that Vernon realized this, and this was why he repeated the instructions so loudly and clearly the last time.
Trying hard to control his temper, Sirius forced a smile at the obese muggle and wished him a good trip.
Vernon growled in reply and told Sirius that he and Harry better start taking their luggage into the car, or else they would miss their flight.
Normally, Sirius would never have submitted to such behavior, especially when the order was aimed at his godson as well as him, but Sirius was not too keen on the prospect of the Dursleys missing their flight. The trip had, after all, been his way to get the Dursleys away from Harry so that he could have a normal birthday party. As soon as he was gone, the planning could start, and it would be nearly impossible to do so if the ruddy Dursleys missed their flight.
Sirius had talked to Mrs. Weasley about the idea, and she had been enthusiastic, but Sirius had been rather silent on the matter to Harry. Harry knew, of course, that Sirius had something special planned for his birthday (aside from the usual day with him doing a fun activity), and he knew that Sirius had planned to have the Dursleys away at this time, but he didn't know more than that. Sirius didn't want it to be a surprise party, but he felt that Harry would be less tempted to spill incriminating information if he did not have much information to spill.
As soon as the Dursleys left Sirius and Harry alone, Sirius could keep the secret no longer. He had a wild grin on his face as he turned to Harry, looking so excited that he nearly frightened the poor boy.
"They're gone!" he announced, giving an overdramatic sigh of relief.
"Yay!" Harry responded. "What do you want to do first?" He looked around the kitchen. "We could sit on the couch with our shoes on!" he suggested with a broad grin.
Sirius smiled at the signs of mischief making in his godson. It was taking awhile, but Harry was starting to have his father's knack for trouble.
"My evil puppy," Sirius cooed as he messed up Harry's hair. "I'm so proud."
Harry wrinkled his nose, a habit he had picked up from Petunia. "Well, can we?"
Sirius scooped the boy up and placed him on his back. "First, we need to have an important talk."
Uh oh, thought Harry. Had Sirius noticed that Harry hadn't eaten all of his carrots earlier at lunch?
"What kind of talk?" Harry asked, grabbing hold of Sirius' shoulders. Whatever it was, it couldn't be too bad. He loved this game (they called it horsie) and Sirius wouldn't have initiated it if Harry was in some kind of serious trouble.
Sirius didn't respond until they got to Harry's room. Sirius dropped Harry off on the bed and then plopped down next to him.
"You're getting big!" Sirius laughed. "My puppy's on his way to becoming a dog."
Harry smiled. "Soon I'll be bigger than you!"
"Not a chance." Sirius became the tickle monster. "It's a law," he explain, amidst Harry's laughter. "The godson has to remain smaller than the godfather. Otherwise, really bad things will happen."
With that, he ended the tickling. Harry kept giggling and squirming for a few more minutes before fully catching his breath.
"What do you want to talk to me about?" he asked finally, stretching his body out on the bed and holding his head up with his hands.
"Your birthday," Sirius replied, grinning like mad.
"What are we going to do this year?" Harry asked. "I'll be eight…that's really big. That's much older than six or seven." He thought for a minute. "Can we go on a really, really scary roller coaster? Pleeeease?"
Sirius reluctantly shook his head. "You're still pretty small for most of them, puppy."
Harry narrowed his eyebrows. "I am not!" he declared, folding his arms.
"Just a little. Maybe next year? But look," he added quickly, lest Harry should grow upset, "I have a really great idea about what to do for your birthday this year."
Harry perked up after hearing this. "What?"
"How would you like to have a party? All of your friends can come over and we can play magical games, eat cake that never disappears, and do all kinds of fun stuff!"
"You mean have Ron and his brothers over?" Harry asked, face brightening.
"Yes, the Weasleys, and some of the other people you've met in the wizarding world. I bet Ginny would love it if you invited Luna over…and then there's Seamus Finnigan, and Neville Longbottom. You'd have a lot of fun and you wouldn't be spending it with just me."
"I like spending it with you," Harry protested.
"I know that, silly, and we can do that as well. But you'll be off to Hogwarts in a few years and it would be good if you made friends with some kids your own age. Dudley has friends over for his birthday—don't forget," he added.
Harry sighed. "I don't want girls over."
"Why not?" Sirius asked, not expecting this.
"Ginny's a baby," Harry complained. "Besides, girls are doodie heads."
It took an enormous amount of self control for Sirius not to break down into laughter. "Why do you say this, puppy?"
"Because it's true! At school, we never let the girls play with us. They just want to play with dolls," Harry explained. "They say we have cooties and scream if someone gets too close."
Sirius wondered what "too close" meant. He had never been to muggle school, but he remembered hearing a few years ago that Dudley had a girlfriend and they were going to get married as soon as he got a job.
Did Harry have a secret girlfriend at muggle school?
Probably not. At least, Sirius hoped not. James had been enough of a nuisance when he fell for Lily Evans, and Sirius did not want to go through something similar to that with Harry. Granted, Sirius doubted that Harry would go through James' arrogant stage, but he had enough to think about without listening to Harry's lamenting over some girl.
Sirius focused on the issue at hand. It seemed like a reasonable request. This was, after all, his first real party and he should have some say over the guest list. It wasn't like Harry wanted to invite Lucius Malfoy, after all.
"Okay," Sirius conceded. "No girls."
"Yippee!" Harry shouted, a wide smile brightening his face.
"Now, which boys do you want?"
"Ron," Harry replied, as though this was obvious. "Umm…Uncle Remus. Neville. Blaise. Eric and Colin," he added, listing the two brothers who were twins. "John. Tom."
Sirius summoned a piece of paper and a quill to write the names down. "Anyone else?"
"How many can I have?" replied Harry, chewing his lip.
"Just give me the names and we can go from there." Sirius was not anxious to have more than fifteen, but if Remus could come, then that would be an extra hand…besides, Sirius was not one to quibble over details when it came to Harry.
"Charles, Josh, Anthony, David, and Peter," Harry finished.
"Josh Windermere or Josh Alberton?" Sirius questioned.
"Um, both?" Harry asked hopefully.
Sirius scribbled the last of the names down, then counted them up. "That's fifteen total, including you, me, and Remus. That should be fine." He gave Harry a peck on the head. "While you take your nap, I'm going to get out the invitations and send them by owl to everyone."
"Will it be on the 31st?" asked Harry.
"Yes why do you ask…oh!" Sirius nearly tripped as he left the bed. "That's only three days away."
Harry's face turned pale. "Do you think they'll come?"
"I'm sure they will," Sirius replied, forcing a smile. "You're Harry Potter, after all."
As soon as he said that, he wished he hadn't. He didn't want to tell Harry about Voldemort then and there.
Fortunately, Harry took this to mean that his friends liked him and would make every effort to come to his party. He turned over on his side and yawned. "Night, Sirius," he said, closing his eyes.
"Night, puppy." Sirius smiled as he left the room, but then wondered, briefly, if he should put some kind of a hex on the invitations so that whoever did not show up would find themselves with a very itchy skin condition the next day.
Sirius decided against it. If anything, he should make it so that the parents received the skin condition. Kids never said no to parties.
The day before the party, Sirius got all of the response owls. A few kids couldn't come (but sent gifts anyway) but most of them were eager to attend. Remus, of course, was happy to supervise/attend Harry's eighth birthday party, and arrived that night to help Sirius prepare the house for the invasion of young wizards.
Remus arrived by Apparating into the Dursley's home, holding a large suitcase in one hand and a large bag in the other.
Harry heard the pop and ran to the front of the house to greet him. Sirius, who had been blowing up balloons manually, followed Harry, completely out of breath.
"Uncle Remus!" Harry shouted, nearly knocking him over with a hug. "You're here!"
Remus laughed and put down his bags before returning the hug. "Happy almost birthday, Harry!"
Harry nearly suffocated him in response. Sirius, just having reached the front of the house, nearly snorted with laughter.
"Someone's popular, Moony," he laughed, reaching out to hug his best friend.
"You're squooshing me, Sirius!" came Harry's voice from under Sirius' arms.
"Yes, Sirius, we mustn't kill the birthday boy," Moony admonished, smiling. He let go of Sirius and scooped Harry up in his arms, and almost winced. "You're getting to be big!"
"I'm going to be as big as Sirius," Harry announced proudly. "I grew three inches this year!"
"My, my, three inches! Sirius, what are you going to do about that? He's going to be a giant!" Moony replied.
"I know," Sirius sighed. "We're starting him on shrinking charms next week. I can't have my godson growing up to be taller than me."
Harry giggled. "Come see my room, Uncle Remus!" he pleaded, grabbing hold of one of Remus' arms as he started to climb the stairs. "Did you get me anything?"
"Harry!" Sirius tried, but failed, to be firm. "That's not very polite."
Harry made a face at his godfather. "You said everyone would because I'd be eight tomorrow!"
Sirius sighed. Now was not the time to call attention to Remus' diminished financial circumstances since Dolores Umbridge's recent appointment to the Ministry.
"I did get you something, Harry," Moony laughed. "But you'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out what it is."
"Just a tiny peek?" Harry asked as he flung his door open. "Pleeeeease?"
"Nope. You'll have to wait until tomorrow," Remus laughed. "You'll get it when you get all of your other presents." He looked around the room. "It's much bigger than I remembered."
Sirius grinned evilly. "Magic, dear Moony. Increases the inside of the room as Harry grows."
Moony laughed. "Don't the Dursleys suspect anything?"
"'Course not!" Harry interrupted. "They never go here."
Sirius nodded. "Puppy's right. As far as they know, the room has remained the same since I've arrived…with the addition of toys and such."
Moony just looked around in astonishment. He had seen Harry's room before, once, and it was only a little bigger than the cupboard he had been forced to sleep in. Initially, the room served as a second bedroom for Dudley, and Sirius supposed that the Dursleys felt it was acceptable to give their son a small second bedroom when his other was so large. Of course, Sirius' guestroom hadn't been much larger than Harry's bedroom, so perhaps that was the way it was with muggle houses…
Now, however, Harry's room easily occupied the space of what would be his shared dormitory at Hogwarts. Although Sirius had never taken exact measurements, he was fairly confident that it was at least three times the size of Dudley's room.
Of course, the Expansion charm he used had been gradual. Harry didn't need as much space at age two, for instance, as he would at age ten. The room would grow slowly so that if the Dursleys did come by, they'd never actually notice a difference. Over time, of course, the room would feel bigger, but they were so paranoid of magic that they would tell themselves that they had simply forgotten the size of the room before.
Now, however, it would be difficult to explain why Harry's room was larger than Dudley's should they drop by. Fortunately, the chances of that were slim.
Remus took a seat on a large jean chair Sirius had recently purchased. "I must say, you spoil him," he laughed, motioning for Harry to sit on his lap.
"Of course. It's my duty as his godfather," Sirius replied, mock hurt. "Although at the rate Dudley's growing, the Dursleys might secretly wish they had magic to increase the size of his room."
"Dudley's huge," Harry translated as he played with the sleeve of Remus' brown robes. "He's gonna explode soon."
Remus cast a nervous glance at Sirius, as if to question the validity of Harry's statement.
Sirius nodded in response. "Maybe not explode, but he'll be Vernon's size before he's nearly his height, if you get my meaning."
Remus sighed. "That poor boy."
"He's not poor!" Harry protested. "He gets to eat at least forty donuts a day! And two HUGE boxes of ice cream!"
It was an exaggeration, but not by much.
"Believe me, puppy, it's not worth it. He'll be very ill before he's Sirius' age," Moony replied. "He'll probably die early unless his parents do something about it."
"No chance," Harry and Sirius replied together.
They pondered over this for a few minutes and then Sirius rose from Harry's bed. "Come on, Moony. We still have a lot to do before Harry's big day tomorrow."
Harry jumped out of Remus' lap. "I want to help!" he declared.
Sirius and Remus exchanged evil glances. "Harry, you can blow up the balloons," Sirius replied sweetly.
The goal in this, of course, was to tire out the overexcited seven year old so that they could surprise him with some of the more magical decorations after he had fallen asleep. The joke, however, was on them. Harry's lungs must have been stronger than Sirius' because he easily blew up the remaining twenty balloons and was disappointed when there were no more left.
Feeling thwarted, Sirius let Harry help him with the rest of the decorations, including some that he had hoped to save for the next day (the self removing magical chairs, the plate that make the birthday cake remain whole no matter how many slices were consumed, and the self greeting wreath to let them know who was next on their way, to name a few). After this was taken care of, Sirius fixed dinner for the three of them.
Remus entered the kitchen to get a drink of water when he noticed Sirius was wearing Petunia's apron.
"Merlin, you look ridiculous," the werewolf chortled. "Has Harry seen you like that?"
Sirius reddened. "Once or twice."
"You look like my mum…"
Sirius threw a pan at Remus, who easily dodged. "Shut up, Moony."
Remus was having far too good of a time to do so. "Do you have a camera? Harry needs a picture of this."
"Second drawer in my room," Sirius grumbled. "Is Harry in on this?"
"No, but if I know you, there are embarrassing pictures of him that you plan to use as blackmail someday. This evens the score."
Then the werewolf disappeared with a popping sound. Sirius tried to frown as he went back to the cooking, but found himself unable to keep a straight face.
After a rather quick dinner, Sirius was anxious to get Harry to bed so that he could start wrapping his birthday presents. Harry, however, was anxious to point out that he was nearly eight, not two, and eight year olds did not go to bed at 7:00.
"The sun's still out," Harry complained, looking out the window.
"Puppy, aren't you tired at all?" Sirius tried. He didn't want to yell, not right before Harry's birthday, but that kid sometimes had so much energy that Sirius could swear he has swallowed a bottle of Energy Boosting potion (used mostly with new mothers and, illegally, by students studying for OWLs and NEWTs).
Sirius turned to Remus, silently begging for reinforcement. Moony nodded wordlessly.
"Harry, how about you and I play wizard's chess before you turn in?" Remus tried, walking towards the Dursleys' living room with Harry.
Harry sighed. "That's no fun. You always beat me."
It was true. Remus was not particularly skilled at the game, but it was not exactly difficult to win against Harry. In spite of the rules, Harry viewed his knights and pawns as the most important pieces, so he never bothered to guard the king and queen. His pieces were most reluctant to trust him.
"I won't beat you this time," Remus promised, hoping that this was possible to do.
Harry scowled. "I don't want you to let me win," he grumbled.
"Well, what if you listen to your pieces and use their strategy?" Remus suggested gently. "They might be able to help you win."
"Then they're letting me win," protested the almost eight year old.
"Not so. Mine give me advice. It's a necessary part of the game. Besides, they don't always give the best move hint, so even though they're helpful, they won't play the game for you."
Harry sighed. "Oh, all right," he grumbled.
Remus retrieved the board and Sirius' set of pieces, having gotten rid of his years ago. He was not entirely fond of the game—too gory for his tastes, even if the players healed themselves by the end of the game—but Sirius had bought the set for Harry for his seventh birthday in the hopes of exposing his godson to some aspects of the wizarding world. Remus was willing to bet that Molly Weasley had something to do with this because Ron received a set when he was only six. Ron must have taught Harry the basics because the boy knew the rules when Sirius gave him his set of pieces, but Ron showed more signs of skill than Harry. Remus had visited the Weasleys on a few occasions and played with Ron—the boy easily beat him on the first game, and Remus had only barely won the second and third games.
Sirius had told Remus about Harry's decision to exclude girls from his birthday party. Remus had been quite amused at Sirius' concern. Didn't he remember when girls were annoying and far too prissy? Of course, Remus remembered that he only had one older sister, Lucy, who had been nearly ten years older than him. Certainly she had been prissy when Remus was young—it was about that time she had shown interest in Eric Torgacan, the male prefect in the Ravenclaw tower. Remus' parents claimed that she had been crazy about him, but years later she denied it, insisting haughtily that she recalled no such man. Lucy was now in her mid thirties, married to one of the most arrogant and boring men Remus had ever laid eyes on, and had twin sons who were about to turn two.
I should send them a card, Remus reminded himself as his bishop took out Harry's castle.
Not that it had mattered. Lucy had never been close with him, exacerbated by the fact she had always looked down on him for being a werewolf. Lucy moved out when she was nineteen, so Remus only had to deal with her condescension for just under four years, but it certainly helped to prepare him for the way many wizards would view werewolves. He felt certain that their relationship had hit a dead end after he had been bitten, and no card would change that. His parents had tried not to show favorites outright, but it was obvious to anyone with half a brain that they preferred quiet, hardworking, well behaved Remus the werewolf to snippy, haughty, and arrogant Lucy the oldest.
"Check," Remus warned as he trapped Harry's king with his knight.
Harry frowned, tried to listen to the conflicting opinions of the players on the board, and finally moved the king to the right, next to the queen.
"Check," Remus repeated, moving his bishop into trapping position.
Harry scowled and moved the king in front of the queen. "Stop that," he groused.
"That's wizard chess, boy!" shouted one of his pawns.
Harry glared at the game piece. "I should let him take you next!" he threatened.
The pawn scoffed for a moment before deciding it was wisest to remain silent. His pieces knew that Harry would sacrifice them last, even at the expense of his king (once, he saved all of his pawns but still managed to lose the game), and they were quite happy to be appreciated. Even if they deemed the player incompetent, it didn't matter as much if they got to live longer because of it.
Five moves later, Harry was in checkmate position. Remus' queen attacked the king vindictively and then did a little victory dance. The other pieces followed suite. Harry's players grumbled and muttered under their breaths, but it seemed to Remus that they had fully expected this defeat.
"Time for bed," Remus announced, gathering up all of the pieces and putting them back in the box, much to their dismay. "You have a big day tomorrow."
"Can you read me a story, first?" asked Harry, getting up from the table.
Remus checked the clock. It was only 7:45. Surely Sirius would let Harry stay up past 8:30 (his former bedtime) the night before his birthday? Remus knew the routine fairly well, having babysat the boy before, and it would be 9:00 by the time Harry finished getting ready for bed and hearing the story.
"Get ready for bed first," Remus instructed, smiling. "I'll be in the kitchen with Sirius. Once you've had your bath, brushed your teeth, and put on your pajamas, come and find me and I'll read you a story."
"Any story?" Harry prodded. He had some fairy tales that were at least thirty pages.
"We'll decide once you're in bed," Remus promised. "Now, off you go!"
Harry nodded and raced upstairs to the bathroom. He was determined to be as fast as possible—it meant more reading time. He knew Remus well enough to know that the longer it took Harry to get ready for bed, the less time he allotted for a bedtime story. Given that the next day would be his birthday, maybe he could persuade Remus to read him two stories that night…
Sirius usually had the honors, but whenever Remus visited, he took over. This was never a problem except when Remus would want to read a story Sirius had read recently. Then, Harry would always complain about some detail, such as the voices not being right. With older stories, or stories Harry had never heard before, there was nothing to compare them to, so however Remus read them would be considered the "right" way.
During the time it took Harry to take a bath, brush his teeth, and put on his pajamas (white with panda bears on them), Sirius and Remus finished getting all of the birthday decorations together, and Sirius had begun to wrap Harry's large pile of gifts.
"I think it's time that he had his own broom," Sirius was telling Remus. "He's wanted one for some time and eight years old is a good age to start."
"It's not a real broom, is it?" Remus asked. "It has safety features and all of that?"
"Of course, Moony, do you think I'm an idiot? The broom won't go more than two meters in the air and goes about the speed of a muggle bicycle. The broom also has charms that prevent falling!" Sirius replied, hands folded. "I don't want to kill my own godson!"
Remus laughed and opened a bag of enchanted party poppers. "I was just checking, Padfoot. Are you going to let him ride it himself or will you want to give him lessons?"
Sirius shook his head. "He's been on my broom before, sometimes in the front and steering it. Harry's really very good, exceptionally so for someone his age. I don't think the safety features are really all that necessary, but I think it would be unwise to start Harry on a Nimbus 1500."
The Nimbus 1500 was the latest broom model. Remus had never used one, but he heard that it could travel faster than most muggle cars, and responded to the slightest directions. Bright green with a red handle, it was surely a sight to behold.
It was also extremely costly. At Remus' highest paying job, it would have taken a month's pay to buy the broom. Right now, he knew that where he worked at the Ministry (assistant to Arthur Weasley in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts department), it would take well over a year's pay.
Still, Remus was grateful to have a job, even if the wages were miniscule and the hours were erratic. He often wondered how Mr. Weasley managed to support his family with such an underappreciated position. Remus had no choice, but Mr. Weasley was smart, talented, and exceptionally hard working. He could certainly have his pick of positions, and it was only his love for muggles that kept him at this low level job.
"Uncle Remus." A small figure stood in the doorway, holding a very thick book of fairy tales. "I'm ready."
Remus nearly groaned when he saw the book. He had read from it before, and every story was incredibly long. It might take an hour to get through one, and Remus would need to use a Voice Restoring potion—which tasted particularly nasty—if he wanted to be of any use the next day.
"Coming, puppy," he replied.
Sirius caught Remus' look of doom (as he called it), and approached Harry. "Puppy, you know how long these stories are. Why don't you choose a shorter story? You want Uncle Remus to be able to help at your party tomorrow. If he reads one of these, you'll both be up until the party starts."
Harry let out a long sigh. "Oh, all right." He turned to Remus. "Are you coming?" he asked hopefully.
"I probably should," Remus laughed, picking up the small boy.
"Give me a hug and kiss goodnight first," Sirius requested, mock serious. "Otherwise you might not have any gifts tomorrow!"
Harry gasped and jumped down from Remus' arms. "Don't say something so awful!" he reprimanded as he nearly squeezed Sirius to death as only a child could.
Sirius laughed and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Okay, off you go. Both of you. Sweet dreams, almost birthday boy!"
"Good night!" Harry replied, grinning and reluctantly releasing his godfather. He turned to Remus. "Now, let's find a good story…"
Harry woke up extremely early the next morning. He raced into Sirius' room, where Remus was sleeping, and woke his godfather up by jumping on the bed.
"I'm eight years old!" he announced loudly.
Sirius groaned. "It's too early. Go back to bed."
"But Sirius, I'm EIGHT years old!" Harry announced, pulling off one of the blankets.
"And if you want to live to be nine, you'll let me sleep," Sirius growled, reaching for the blanket and missing. "Happy birthday, Harry, but please, I need sleep or else I'll be really crabby today."
"You are crabby," Harry replied, folding his arms. He checked the clock, then looked outside. "The sun's out."
"The sun may be up, but it's not alive. Listen—not even the birds are up yet. Please, Harry, just let me go back to bed."
Harry jumped off the bed and turned to Remus, but realized that if Sirius had been hard to wake up, it was nothing compared to his favorite uncle. Remus was snoring, loudly, and was completely covered by blankets. It seemed astonishing that the snores would be this audible under so many layers, but they were. Only pieces of hair remained visible.
Harry realized then that he was fighting a losing battle. He yawned, and then decided that he might as well go back to bed, if his godfather and uncle were going to act so lazy.
When Harry awoke again, it was by Sirius gently shaking him.
"Mmugh," came the eight year old. "Goway."
Sirius laughed evilly. "Time to get up, puppy. Happy birthday! Come on…let's open presents and have breakfast. Your friends will be here soon."
Harry opened his eyes groggily. "Mmph," he replied, pulling the covers over his head.
Sirius turned to Remus, who had just finished getting dressed after taking a long shower. He smiled as he approached Harry and performed a tickling hex.
Loud giggles could be heard several houses down the street. Harry squirmed under the blankets and finally kicked them off. Remus silently removed the hex and Harry sat up, trying to glare at him, but was too amused to look very angry.
"Up!" Sirius shouted, picking Harry up from his bed. "Time for breakfast."
"I thought it was time for presents?" Harry asked as Sirius carried him downstairs. A bemused Remus followed a few steps behind.
"You can do both at once," Sirius replied. "I made all of your favorites since it's such an important day." He mussed up Harry's hair as he said this.
"Pancakes?" asked a wide eyed boy. They were his favorite healthy food in the world, when Sirius got them right, but Sirius was forever burning them or undercooking them. He'd have to make ten just to have two that were edible, and that was on a good day.
"Yup. Remus showed me a way to get them not to burn," Sirius replied, grinning broadly. "Much better than that stuff your aunt uses."
Harry took a seat at the table. His chair was filled with green and red balloons (his favorite colors) and several gifts were stacked on the table beside his empty plate. In front of the plate lay a large box of donuts. Harry licked his lips in anticipation.
Sirius went to work making the pancakes, and as he did so, Harry and Remus munched on blackberries happily. Before long, the pancakes were done and on all of their plates. Harry was soon so busy enjoying his that he almost forgot about the gifts on the table. That is, until Remus reminded him.
"Happy birthday, Harry," he said, giving the small boy a hug. He turned to the gifts on the table, eyeing them significantly.
"Oh!" Harry finished the late bite of pancakes and then grabbed one of the smaller gifts.
"That's one of mine," Sirius grinned as Harry tore apart the wrapping paper.
"Chocolate frogs!" Harry announced once he saw the drawing on the cover. Although Harry had never cared much for the cards, they had long since been his favorite candy. The box Sirius had purchased through the wizarding catalog contained twenty-five small frogs, easily a month's supply. "Thanks, Sirius!" He looked at his godfather hopefully. "Can I?"
"Of course," Sirius grinned.
Harry reached into the box and retrieved three. Immediately, he handed one to Remus and one to Sirius. Sirius, who hadn't anticipated this act of sharing on a day meant to be wholly Harry's, nearly teared up.
"Thanks, puppy," he said, unwrapping it and taking a bite.
But Harry had put the box aside, including his own frog, and was eyeing some of the other presents. Finally, he chose one not much bigger than the frogs, but oddly shaped. He opened it carefully, lest he break it in his haste
It spun around and lit up. Sirius, seeing Harry's confused look, explained. "It's a sneakascope. It makes noises if someone's doing something untrustworthy. I thought it would be good to use while we were playing games."
Harry laughed. Sirius always cheated, but Harry could never catch him in the act. This might make things easier, and it would annoy the Dursleys to no end.
The next gift was slightly smaller than the sneakascope, but no less amusing. Sirius had given him a pack of Exploding Snap cards, an item that Harry had seen at the Weasleys but Sirius deemed too dangerous for someone his age.
"Be careful with them, Harry," Sirius warned gravely. "They can be very dangerous."
The newly turned eight year old nodded but rolled his eyes. "Okay, Sirius," he said in a clear attempt to humor his guardian.
By the time the rest of the gifts had been opened (Harry loved Sirius' broom, and was thrilled to get some Quidditch comic books from Remus), it was almost time for the guests to start arriving. Sirius cleared the table with a wave of his wand, sending the wrapping paper into the dustbin and the presents into the cupboard under the stairs—now used to store some of Harry's winter clothing—and Harry raced up the stairs to get dressed, hair sticking out all over.
"Be sure to brush your hair!" Sirius called, but knew that whatever Harry did, it would be a mess.
Lily's hair was always perfect, never a strand out of place, even after pulling an all nighter or getting into a hexing fight with James. Red and pin straight, she kept it shoulder length until she and James started dating, and then she let it grow for him. James, on the other hand, would need at least a gallon of Sleakeezy's hair potion to get it to look like that. With the exception of when Sirius and Peter used it in his hair while he was sleeping, back in their fourth year, James never used the stuff, always claiming he wouldn't be caught dead wearing girl hair gel.
Sirius sighed as he recalled those memories. Thinking about his best friend still hurt. If only they had stuck to the original plan, or made Dumbledore the Secret Keeper, Harry would be raised by loving parents instead of his crazy and overprotective godfather.
Of course, Voldemort might still be around, which meant that his parents could still be in hiding, or killed. Even if there was no betrayal, their death may have been inevitable. At least this way, Voldemort was gone for good.
Sirius looked around the small kitchen and realized that Remus had left, probably to make sure Harry brushed his teeth. After that breakfast, he needed to…the wizarding method of healing cavities was only slightly less painful than the muggle method of drilling, and Sirius was by no means an expert in either.
Sirius waited by the door as Harry's friends arrived, Apparating with their parents or arriving by Portkey just inside the house. Sirius had set up a few for parents who hadn't wanted to Apparate with their children—Ron's mother being one of them—which he had never done before but was actually quite easy. He'd have to show Harry how to do this as soon as he got to Hogwarts…he'd never be caught sneaking around at night if Harry could suddenly appear in his dormitory whenever a teacher thought they saw him.
The expression on Snape's face when he pictured this scenario was priceless and sent him into chortles of laughter. He hoped his theory that portkeys wouldn't react unless skin (or timers) touched them was true. It would be infinitely harder to have random pieces of paper scattered throughout Hogwarts than having Harry carry one inside his pocket on a regular basis.
Ron and Mrs. Weasley suddenly appeared, nearly scaring Sirius out of his wits. They were holding a small tea cup, which Mrs. Weasley carefully tucked into one of her robe pockets.
"It's Arthur's," she explained by means of greeting. "One of the muggle objects he collects. The perfect excuse for enchanting it…not that he needs one." She laughed. "How are you doing?"
Sirius smiled, easily imagining Arthur Weasley peering over the cup, fascinated, as he put the spell on it. Muggle teacups were virtually identical to wizard teacups, but Arthur would always find a difference that put a new twist on his fascination with them.
"Just fine, Molly. Harry's upstairs, getting ready, but I'm sure he'll be down in a moment." He turned to Ron, who had grown at least a foot since Sirius had last seen him. "How are you?"
"Excited!" Ron replied, grinning from ear to ear.
Harry seemed to have appeared then, having raced down the stairs so quickly. "Hi, Ron!" he shouted, jumping off the bottom step.
"Harry, you'll hurt yourself!" Sirius and Mrs. Weasley protested, but Harry looked fine.
"Are you the first one?" he asked Rob, eyeing the large parcel in his hand.
"I think so," he replied, looking around wide eyed. "This is such a cool house!"
"Come on, I'll show you my room!" Harry replied, grabbing Ron's arm. "It's one of the only magical parts of the house, but my aunt and uncle don't know that!"
Harry and Ron then disappeared, leaving a flustered Sirius with Mrs. Weasley.
"Sorry, he's usually well behaved…" he began.
Molly laughed. "It's fine. He's excited…this is his first party, isn't it?"
Sirius nodded. "Tricked the Dursleys to taking a cruise for a week. Had them win some muggle sweepstakes."
"Why would any muggle want to spend a week on a dirty old boat?" Mrs. Weasley mused. She laughed. "Well, I'm happy it worked. I know you've wanted this for Harry for ages." She paused, as though wanting to say more, and then cleared her throat. "Well, I really must be going. Percy's watching the twins, and Ginny, and I'm rather nervous about him being all by himself. He's such a good boy and the twins are so mischievous…"
That's a mild way of putting it, thought Sirius.
"Party's over around 4. I'll give you some cake then to your children," Sirius promised. "If they haven't destroyed the house."
Mrs. Weasley laughed again, but wryly. "It would hardly be the first…bless them. Well, good bye!"
With that, she removed the cup and vanished.
The rest of the children arrived within the next half hour, some looking ill from side along Apparition, but most seeming excited to be at a birthday party in a muggle home. Nearly all of the boys grew up in the wizarding world and had never even seen pictures of muggle houses. Not that they were much different from wizarding houses, but the Dursleys had always been obsessively neat and orderly, which was sure to be a change. Most interesting to the kids were the muggle photographs that remained still no matter how hard you stared at it.
Somewhat surprising, at least to Sirius and Remus, was how much Harry's birthday party ended up being like one of Dudley's parties. Harry wasn't a spoiled brat, asking why people had only brought one present, of course, but the activities that went on during the party were not typical of a normal wizarding boy. Perhaps it was because of the location—all of the guests seemed endlessly fascinated by the muggle house, and Sirius had to explain how basic appliances such as microwaves worked, and why you shouldn't put your hand in a toaster—but the boys were most interested in the muggle board games. Fortunately, Dudley had a massive supply, and soon the boys were divided into groups, some playing Guess Who?, others playing Clue, two boys playing Chutes and Ladders, and there was even some interest in Sorry at one point. Sirius and Remus had to persuade the boys against some of the harder games, like monopoly, because they were not entirely sure of the rules and the muggle instructions sounded like gibberish.
"Who can understand these ruddy things?" Sirius complained at one point, squinting at the small print.
Remus peered over his shoulder. "It looks like those contracts muggles are supposed to sign before purchasing a house or a car."
Even Mr. Weasley, the muggle expert, had no idea what the instructions meant. Sirius had Apparated over to the Burrow as a last resort, when Harry and a few of his friends were asking about a rule in Clue, and Mr. Weasley had been the most bewildered of all of them, but by no means the least interested. It took great persuasion on Sirius' part to retrieve the paper from the overeager wizard. Sirius knew that the Dursleys would suspect something if the rules to one of their son's games suddenly went missing.
Still, all in all everyone had a lot of fun, and later in the party, Sirius came up with the idea to incorporate magic into muggle games. The most popular way was self removing magical chairs, in which a random chair would float to the ceiling at the start of each round. The other chairs, rather than remaining where they were, danced along with the boys, making it more difficult to find a seat when the music stopped. Ron won the first game, earning a large Hershey bar Sirius found stowed among Dudley's endless supply of sweets, and Blaise won the second game.
By the time four o'clock had rolled around, Sirius and Remus were exhausted, but happy. Harry, they knew, had had a wonderful time and would remember the day for many years. Sirius and Remus had gotten plenty of photographs with wizarding cameras, so the memories would be preserved for that much longer. When they went to bed that night, all three of them had large, contented smiles plastered over their faces.
A/N: Sorry this update took so long, but as you can see, it's a long chapter, so I hope it was worth the wait.
Thanks to Jessi for betaing!
As always, I greatly appreciate reviews—they make my day. If you have time to write a sentence or so, that would be great. I can't improve without knowing what my audience thinks!