Detention is both the bane and the highlight of every highschooler's existence. I mean, there's the fact that you've got some hawk-eyed teacher glaring at you for half an hour, but you've also got time to do homework or meet up with the delinquents and score drugs or whatever. But drugs are bad, boys and girls! Stay away from them!

Well, still, everything happens in detention.

But not for me, apparently. Nope, I had to sit in silence and stare at a clock for every damn second of my time. No one else had gotten detention, and the teacher wouldn't even let me do my homework because that somehow 'ruins the point' of my punishment.

So I sat there.

And did nothing.

And that may seem fun to some people, not having to do anything at all for half an hour, but it really sucks for me. I mean, all I could do was think. Think about Ivan probably being gay and having to spend more time with him.

Yeah. Gay Ivan. That's one of the scariest things I've ever had to think about! And I have to do what he says... Oh God. What if he wants me to kiss him or cuddle or... Or worse? ! I can't just chicken out on the bet, then I'd have to suffer through all of that for the rest of the semester!

That would never do.

After I had heard that at lunch, I got suddenly quiet. I couldn't even eat! That's how freaked out I was! I mean, try having to do what a sexual deviant asked for a week? And, no, I'm not calling Ivan a sexual deviant because he's gay. I know for a fact that he's a pervert! Actually, only a few gays I know are perverts. That's why I got so PO'd at Gil. He was insulting perfectly normal people!

No, Ivan's a pervert. I know this for a fact. Firstly, the rumors. They've gotta have some basis in truth. Poor Raivis.

Secondly, not making me stop Francis from molesting my brother. He wanted to watch for some sick perversion! I mean, either that or he wants my brother and I to suffer! But that would make sense, since he is a creepy sadist...

Thirdly, the handholding. He obviously wants my sexy body, so he wanted people to think we were together so that no attractive women would approach me!

The final straw? Sleeping over. He wanted to watch me sleep. Sick bastard.

All of these conclusions were come to whilst I had to sit through that torturous detention. They make perfect sense! They MUST be true! And now I have to spen more time with Creepy Communistic Pervert. Fuck my life.

And suddenly, I didn't want detention to be over. But when I looked at the clock, I realized that my time was up.

"You may leave, Mr. Jones. I expect I won't be seeing you again," said Mr. Hawky McHawkHawk.

"Are you sure?" asked stupid, scared me.

"Yes, I am sure," replied Hawky McHawkHawk.

"You sure you're sure?" Asked pathetic, stupid, scared me.

"Yes I am sure, Mr. Jones! Now leave before I give you a detention for tomorrow!" Angrily replied Hawky McHawkHawk. Weak, pathetic, stupid, scared me really didn't want a detention tomorrow, so I left.

I crept through the halls like I was infiltrating a secret Russian military base to gain tactical secrets to save the world. Of course, I had to creep past those damn Reds.

Guard spotted ahead! It was Ivan, conniving bastard! Thinking that he could stand there all 'innocently', pretending that the dark secrets he held inside his twisted mind meant nothing. Pretending that he wasn't gay and that he didn't like me.

"There you are, Fredka! I was thinking you had gotten lost!" Damn him! How did he see me? He didn't even turn to look at me, he just began walking towards the door.

"Now now, come along. Katyusha has to work soon."

Fuck him! Or, well, damn him! There, that makes more sense. I would never want to fuck him. Never ever in a majillion years. I'd get his disgusting Commie germs all over me! Ew.

But I followed him anyways. I did promise him! I can't just let him down, y'know. That would crush his nonexistent heart.

I will have you know it was with reluctance, though! I didn't want to follow him anywhere.

"Don't lag, Fredka." Ivan turned and frowned at how far behind I was. He extended a hand to me, and I immediately shrunk away. Yuck! He wants to hold my hand again!

"What? Do you need me to lead you or something?" I gave him a scowl and began walking past him. He shut up and followed.

"What is wrong?" Ivan asked as we walked.

What was he talking about? I was acting completely fine! Sure, I was walking as far on my side of the sidewalk as I could, and sure, I was clutching my bag for dear life, but that's fine right? Totally fine. He was the weird one! All stoic and quiet like some big, stoic Commie. Stupid freak.

"Nothing," I shot back. What? Was it his business anyways how I'm feeling? No! It's not! Euch, he was trying to get all mushy-gushy with me! Isn't that how relationships are, you talk about your feelings? Oh God! He thinks were dating in his scary Commie head! No! NO!

And now he's going to try and get touchy-feely as well as mushy-gushy! I can see the twisted lust in his freaky purple eyes! I should have escaped while I still could! He would just tell me not to if I tried now... Damn it all!

Author's Note: Another short chapter... But it's a really quick update! I know this chapter is weird... I was in a very odd mood when I wrote it...

Anyways... I lied. The NEXT chapter has Katyusha.

Alfred has PMS.

Edit: Sorry for the weird derp that FF had with this chapter! Everyhting should be ship-shape now! I love you all! Also: Please vote on my profile! Or else I'll end up slowly working on all of them and never getting any done... XD