My Little Bird- 10
I grunted as I cranked a lever multiple times, rust cracking off under my fingers, leaving red dust and dirt all over my hands. I took a deep breath and cranked the lever again, pulling with all my strength. Finally, the jammed lever gave in and lowered almost to the floor as I let out another grunt of strain. As soon as the lever had gone all the way down, a rumbling sound shook the dam and the sound of rushing water filled my ears. I looked up and seen the pipes vibrating and dust and rust falling off as the water jetted through them. My face split into a grin and I ran up a flight of stairs to the main workings room and checked the gages and readings. All working.
"I did it." I whispered to myself. "I did it!" I said louder, backing away from the control desk and leaning my back against the railing behind me, wiping the dirt off my forehead.
A pair of thuds beside me alerted me to the arrival of Rocket and Blue Eyes. Blue Eyes was looking around at the dam as it kicked into gear, jumping slightly at some of the sounds. Rocket, on the other hand, was staring right at me, and I met his green gaze excitedly.
"I did it!" My sentence ended with a girly giggle. I was ecstatic that I was able to complete my assignment, and given the days I had been able to work on it, I accomplished successful functioning of the dam within four days. I got giddy at the thought as pride washed over me.
"What does this mean?" Rocket signed, I supposed he was asking for clarification.
"The dam is running again. Now I just need to check if it worked. And I can't do that until nightfall." I said. "If it worked, the city will glow." I added, more to myself.
Rocket heaved a sigh. "Let's get back then, unless there's more for you to do."
I shook my head. "Let's go back." I agreed with the older ape.
They and the other apes inside lead me out of the dam. One of the younger males, barely even out of child years, even held out his hand for me to help me get across the logs, the little gentleman. I heard an irritated huff behind me but when I looked I seen no clues as to who made the sound. When we had descended the lumber, I thanked the little gentleman, who beamed and nodded before scampering off toward two older apes. I giggled at his cuteness and continued following the apes back toward the village.
I was glad that the apes no longer crowded around me when I was being escorted through the forest, and I was allowed to walk in my own personal bubble of space. We made it half way through the forest to the village when I realized I had forgotten my tool belt in the dam. I had taken it off because one of the tools had been digging into me and I didn't need it once I started the finishing touches on the dam, so I had taken it off. Now it seemed in the midst of my excitement I had forgotten it. I swore under my breath and turned back, only seeing about ten or so apes behind me, luckily one of them being Blue Eyes.
He caught my eye as soon as I had turned around, and signed. "What is it?"
"I left my tool belt in the dam. I have to go get it." I explained.
He hesitated before nodding. "Let's go."
"You don't have to if you don't want to." I said, remembering how he had missed breakfast this morning and had been with us at the dam all day. He must have been starving, and he could get a snack when we got to the village, going with me would just delay his return. He gave me a look.
"Don't be silly." He shook his head.
"Are you sure? It's not that far, if I run I'll catch up in a few minutes." I persisted. He gave me a strange look. He glanced back at the group, who had kept walking on.
"I'll wait right here. But take this." After he signed that, he took the spear in his hands and snapped it in half with a splintering crack. He handed me the end with the stone tip and nodded. "Hurry."
I had to pretend that watching him snap a thick spear in half with nothing but his bare hands while not even having to struggle at all with it didn't phase me, and then I took the spear and nodded. I gave him a smile before turning and jogging back in the direction of the dam. I clambered over the logs quickly, slipping a few times on the damp wood as I made it inside the dam. I quickly retrieved my belt from the cold floor and quickly snapped the belt around my waist, not wanting to be alone in the large, damp and now shaking-slightly structure.
I hurried out and over the lumber outside, walking through the cold spray drifting up from the roaring waterfall. I walked quickly into the leaf carpeted forest floor, into the shade of the massive trees growing lushly around me. I soon felt a strange sensation in my stomach and throat, and glanced around, paranoid. I was being watched. I became hyper-aware of everything around me as a primal prey-fear dripped into my stomach, and my hearing became stronger and my sight sharper. I became a deer. I heard every leaf fall with a dull swish all around me, and jumped every time a squirrel moved through the branches above my head. I chewed my bottom lip as I gripped my half spear tightly in both hands, inwardly debating whether or not I should kiss Blue Eyes later for making me take it with me while another part of me focused on the matter at hand. I breathed in deeply, trying to calm down my nerves when I heard something brush against a bush, causing the thin branches to shake for a moment before settling, and I gasped and whipped my head in the direction of the sound, but seen no cause for the disturbance.
I fought with my fight-or-flight instinct, fear rising from my stomach to my chest, like I was trapped in a glass box that kept filling with water slowly, I left with no seeable way of escaping death. Don't run, don't run, don't run...I repeated the mantra in my head as I allowed myself to quicken my pace a little, now extremely relieved that Blue Eyes had said that he'd stay where we were when I had realized I was missing my belt. I was getting close, but it felt like I still had a mile to go and I was jumping at every sound. My mind started playing tricks on me, and I seen shadows out of the corner of my eye, and I could of sworn I heard a low growl. I knew it was irrational and I was frightening myself, but fear makes it hard to stay calm.
Suddenly, the bushes to my left exploded and a loud roar filled my ears as a paw seeming the size of my face slashed at me, sending me sprawling with a terror filled scream. I rolled to my feet and my hands cupped the area where I was bleeding on the left side of my midriff, and on the rise of my hip bone. I didn't have time to asses myself as my eyes were immediately drawn to my attacker, a tawny furred cougar. It's head was low, fangs bared as the growl I had thought to be a trick of the frightened mind rumbled through the cats chest, it's yellow amber eyes never leaving mine. It's dark tipped tail flicked back and forth behind it as it slowly circled me, moving closer. I started to slowly side step, following its lead as my eyes flicked from it's blazing eyes to the spear laying where I had dropped it not five feet away and back again. As I made eye contact with the dangerous cat, a new instinct took over me: defend myself. I tucked my chin into my chest and sharpened my eyes, secretly wondering what color they were at this moment as I stared the cat down, working my way closer to the weapon on the ground. My side burned with each step, and I could feel the blood dripping down my skin in hot little trickles that I forced myself to ignore. The animal hissed at me, and without even thinking about it I raised my upper lips, baring my ultimately harmless teeth and hissed right back. The fuck? I thought to myself right after the action.
I made a decision that would either get me killed or save my life, and I tightened my muscles painfully, waiting for my moment. I watched the cat's movements, predicting its steps until I watched it tense and coil, and I timed myself. When the cat let out a screech as it jumped for me, limbs outstretched, ready to lock me in a death grip, I dove for the spear, rolling to my feet and turning on the balls of my feet to face the cat again. It's paws skidded and it let out an irritated growl as it turned and shot itself back at me, giving me basically no time to brace myself. The large predator bowled me over, but before it could sink its claws or teeth into me, I heard a piercing, heart wrenching cry tear itself out of the cat's throat as if the sound were a living creature trying desperately to escape the cougar's body, and the cat fell limp, draping its heavy weight over me. I realized I had instinctively held the spear out defensively, and the spear tip embedded itself into the cougar's chest, no doubt rupturing a vital organ or two. My arms, bulked up with just enough of small muscle to lift the cats shoulders off me for the cats head to loll down limply. It was still alive, staring at me no longer with the eyes of a hunter but with the eyes of a fellow creature, just fighting to keep itself alive. My eyes widened slightly at all the emotion that swam in those bright colored irises. It held no grudge, and neither did I. I watched as the cat gave one last heaving, no doubt painful, breath, and with a heavy exhale it went completely limp, and I was no longer able to hold its weight up.
As soon as the heavy skull dropped onto my chest, I heard a screech tear the air and branches rock violently before a loud thump sounded just feet away from my head. I started shimmying my shoulders to try and get myself out from under the lion as I looked up, seeing Blue Eyes' panicked face. He made a sound that to me sounded like he was saying "ray." And I supposed it was a half hearted attempt to say my name. He rushed foreword and picked the lion up in his arms, the spear going with it as Blue Eyes removed the animal from my body. I would have gawked at the strength he hid under all that fur had my side not been burning angrily. The ape above me threw the lion's body down and it landed with a dull thud. I propped myself up on my elbows and hissed through my teeth at the pain. Four long slash marks marred my tanned skin, and dark red lines of blood trailed down my side. I whimpered as the pain increased, the more aware of the wounds I became. Blue Eyes crouched next to me, panting softly in concern as he viewed my injuries. He reached out to graze his fingertips over one of the cuts, but shot his hand back when I flinched.
"Knew I should of gone with you." He signed.
"Not your fault." I said as I tried to draw my legs under me to stand, wincing and whimpering a bit as I did. Idiotically, I tried to use my left leg to push myself up and when my leg trembled and the pain was too much, I collapsed onto my shins, letting out a small cry and a Cherokee curse was muttered under my breath as I clutched the area around my side. Blue Eyes grunted and placed a hand on my shoulders and shook his head at me, and signing for me to stay down. I sighed and looked up at him apologetically.
"I'm sorry." I signed.
He gave me a look. "What for? Nearly dying?"
I huffed out a short sigh. "It's gonna take a while for us to get back to the village."
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"You must be starving." I said.
"What?" He seemed confused and I got worried when I also seen a hint of anger in those blue hues.
"You haven't eaten today."
"Are we seriously talking about my diet when you're sitting there bleeding?" He signed, huffing angrily.
"You're not denying it." I signed back.
"So I'm a little peckish..." He trailed off when his stomach growled loudly, seeming almost painfully. I raised a brow.
"A little? Really?"
"Why are we talking about this? I need to get you to the Obas." He shook his head, as if clearing the sidetracked conversation from his mind. He then positioned himself so he could help me up easily. I was surprised (though I don't really know why by now) when he didn't strain at all when he hoisted me to my feet. I hung onto him, lifting my left leg gingerly as the blood trails had nearly reached my ankle, a few drops dripped off my knee as I moved. It wasn't flowing quickly, but I was unsure with how long it would take to get back to the village, to safety. Blue Eyes was warm, and my energy was being drained by the shock and adrenaline loss, and I had a strong urge to just cuddle up to the handsome ape and go to sleep. Jesus there I go again. Even when I'm injured and limping I can't keep my teenage girl thoughts away. The hell is going on with me? I inwardly chided myself.
I limped along slowly, looking back at the dead lion and hoping it went in peace, saying a prayer for the life I had taken to preserve my own, the way my mother and brother had taught me. When I finished my silent prayer, I turned back and focused on getting back to the village. We were moving along slowly, and the more I used my leg, the more blood flowed from it, and I was getting worried. Suddenly I was lifted into the air and my right side was pressed against a warm wall, the sudden movement causing me to get lightheaded. When the dizziness subsided, I looked up and blushed slightly when I seen that Blue Eyes had scooped me up bridal style and was carrying me through the woods. Given we were moving much faster now, but I couldn't help but question him.
"What are you doing?"
"Too. Slow. You need. Help." He growled, being forced to use his voice as his hands were a bit preoccupied, and let me tell you, I think I have a crush on his voice too now. I didn't protest, and tucked my chin down and leaned my head against his warmth, hoping he hadn't noticed my blush. Blue Eyes continued through the forest quickly, at one point he sped up so much that I started bouncing in his arms and I flinched at the pain burning my side. He immediately slowed down again and apologized, and I was left there juggling between telling him it was okay, controlling my inward fangirling over his voice, and dealing with the pain.
By the time we could see the village gates, a gorilla had already spotted us and called for backup, so now several gorillas were approaching quickly. I expected Blue Eyes to put me down but he held me tight. God please don't blush. I begged myself silently.
"What happened?" A silverback, signed.
"She. Was. Attacked." Blue Eyes explained. Jesus Christ that voice. My thoughts started drifting as I felt my energy depleting quickly, and my head started swimming. If I had been standing on my own I had no doubt that I would have toppled over. I was grateful that Blue Eyes had carried me, though I also had other thoughts on that. But my focus was straying and my vision was getting blurry and my head was pounding. I felt a slight shaking and in the back of my mind I was aware that it was Blue Eyes trying to get my attention, and I tried to force myself to say something, but the words got caught in my throat. I was so tired, and the world was getting darker as my eyes dropped lower, and I gave in to the wave of darkness that washed over me, and I blacked out.
-the next morning-
I woke as a pained hiss slid through my teeth, and my hand subconsciously traveled down to my midriff, were an aching pain burned. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around my surroundings, seeing fire crackling to light the dark room I was in. Underneath me I felt soft moss and plants, and I realized I was in the Obas healing hut. I wasn't alone, and seen Deja and a male Oba I didn't know. Deja hurried toward my head and peered down at me while the male left the room.
"Rain? Do you know where you are?" She signed, hooting at me softly.
"Deja? What's going on?" I asked as I propped myself up, wincing at the twinge of pain added to my side. I looked down to see large leaves wrapped around my waist.
"With Obas. Do you know what happened to you?" She kept up her questioning.
I thought back to the last events I remembered. The dam, forgetting my tool belt...and the lion. I nodded slowly, eyes widening at the shock. "It was a mountain lion." I murmured.
I heard a sound in the threshold of the small room I was in, and looked up to see several Obas entering, one being Aria. I continued trying to sit up but Deja pushed me back down gently. "Take it easy." She signed. "Hurt bad."
Aria was by my side checking over my injuries. She nodded approvingly at Deja. "Dressed well. Good job." She turned to me. "How do you feel? In pain?"
"Not much. I'm just...glad to be alive." I answered, trying again to sit up. They allowed it, but I was almost bowled right over by a little mass of fur, and I winced at the pain it caused. I held my self up with one arm and looked down at the little ape child sitting on my lap, fretting over my face and hair and gazed into the blue irises of Haze. When he made eye contact he froze, and then wrapped his little arms around my neck and pushed his face into my nape, whimpering quietly.
"..Haze? What's wrong, little one?" I cooed, ignoring the pain as I adjusted my position to wrap both arms around his small body. He continued to cry and I shushed him gently and laid my chin on his tiny shoulder, closing my eyes as I consoled him. I drew little shapes into his back as the child trembled trying to control his tears.
"It's okay. It's gonna be okay." I cooed into his little ear. Haze sniffed and drew his face back, and I opened my eyes to meet his teary gaze with concerned sympathy. "What's wrong?" I said and signed softly.
"Friend got hurt." He signed back, his tiny little lip trembling a bit. When I realized that his crying was due to my injury, I cooed in understanding.
"I'm okay now. Obas make me better." I signed back, giving the child a reassuring smile as I masked my discomfort for Haze's sake. My eyes were drawn up when I heard a tongue click, and Cornelia was suddenly crouching next to me, signing to Haze.
"Off. Careful." Cornelia chided her child. Haze listened to her, gingerly stepping off me as if trying to avoid a land mine and sitting down next to me, staring at the leaf bandaging around my waist. I tried not to grimace as the wound throbbed painfully as I adjusted my position, drawing my right knee up a little. I was aware of another presence in the room and looked up to see Caesar and Blue Eyes standing in the doorway, waiting for Aria's permission to enter. When she consented, they stepped inside. I watched as they assessed my health, and suddenly became fully aware of the remains of my shirt. It had already been ripped up from the mountain lion's claws, but the apes seemed to have ripped the stomach covering parts right off to make sure the wound was treated well. My shirt was now little more than a bandoe with sleeves.
Caesar moved to my other side, his oldest following to crouch near me. He looked me in the eye. "Do you know what attacked you?"
"Mountain lion." I answered, my mind conjuring up the image of the big cat's bright eyes going glassy and blank.
"They are rare. You are lucky to be alive." He signed, eyeing me, watching my reactions.
I sighed and nodded. "I know."
"Why did you go by yourself?" The king questioned.
"I didn't want to slow anyone down" I replied. "I don't want to be anymore of a burden to any of you than I already am."
"Not bur-" Blue Eyes stopped abruptly when he caught Caesar's eye, and dropped his hands.
The ape king turned back to me. "Be more careful next time." He advised lightly. I was surprised, I had been preparing for him to rebuke me, and all I got was that?
Haze let out a squeak to draw our attention to him, and when he had it his little hands signed. "Not Rain's fault. Bad cat hurt Rain." He glared up at his father defiantly, seeming to feel Caesar was being harsh with me. I had to fight back a smile at the young child's eagerness to defend me, and it was even harder when I remembered how he had referred to me as his friend.
Caesar smiled and let out a breath of laughter through his nose as he gazed fondly at his young child. "I know, son."
Haze nodded to himself importantly in a 'you better' kind of way before climbing up my arm and clinging with his little feet to my shoulder and arm, and he started combing fingers through my hair and scalp. At first I was confused at the child's actions when I realized, he was grooming me. I knew grooming was conducted between friends and family, to form and strengthen bonds between apes and I was immensely happy and flattered. After a short time he slid down into my lap and I caught him mid slide to position him away from my left side, and then let him sit. Haze seemed to understand why I had done this and scooted even farther to the right as he looked up at me.
"Rain pretty." He signed. I 'awed' at his cuteness and signed back, "Thank you. Haze handsome."
He giggled and tugged on his ear, leaning back a little onto my up-lifted knee before rocking upright again in a toddler-ish display of bashfulness. He then reached up and placed his hand my nose, and I played our game with him until Cornelia told him it was time for him to go to lessons. He protested, saying he didn't want to leave yet, and wouldn't budge until Cornelia promised to take him back to visit me again later. With that deal made, Haze wrapped his arms around my neck again and squeezed tightly. I smiled and hugged him back, and when he pulled away he signed. "Bye. Stay away from cats!" With that he leaped to Cornelia who seemed to see it coming and caught him easily, and took their leave, Haze still waving to me over his mother's shoulder. I giggled and waved back until he was out of sight, which didn't take long.
I smiled after them, but it faltered when my side twitched painfully, and I cupped the bandaging, muttering a little, "Ow."
Aria stepped foreword with a bark plate that smelt of herbs. She crouched where Cornelia had been and carefully unwrapped the dressings. When she peeled back the final layer of leaf, I was relieved to see no redness, so signs of infection. She scooped up some of the plant poultice and started slathering it to my side, all the while I was sitting there biting my lip and trying to hold back my urge to flinch away from the touch as the juices stung at me. As I watched, I realized something, and stopped her when she went to re-wrap the bandage-like leaves.
"I need to do something. Can someone bring my back? From the hollow?" I asked her, hoping I wouldn't irritate her. But the aging female just seemed intrigued and turned to sign at the male Oba in the room. He nodded at her and left, returning a few minutes later carrying my little backpack. I thanked him when he handed it to me. I fished through it, pulling out a little white box, seeing the familiar Red Cross on it. I opened it and looked through it until I found what I was looking for, a needle and thread. I sighed and looked around, seeing a stick that had fallen out of the wall of the hut and reached for it. Aria grabbed it with her longer arms and handed it to me, giving me a questioning look. I thanked her and started sterilizing the needle with rubbing alcohol. When it was ready, i took a deep breath and stood up, when I wobbled on my knees, Blue Eyes was there to steady me, all the while urging me to get off my feet with everyone else.
I convinced them to help me to the wall. I leaned on a sturdy beam near the fire and looked down at my wound, glad that most of Aria's poultice had soaked in to the wound, and I felt it was enough to cleanse it. I took the stick and placed it in between my teeth as I threaded the needle. God this is gonna hurt. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and was happy when my hands didn't tremble. I then started the process of stitching each slash mark shut. I furrowed my brow and whimpered at the pain, the stick muffling the sounds. Soon I tied off the end of the first stitched slash, and when the needle was away from my body I took the stick out of my mouth and sucked in air quickly as I had been holding my breath, too worried I'd mess up if I moved. I did not want to cry. When I calmed down, I clenched the stick between my teeth and began on the next slash, stitching the wound shut slowly. This process repeated itself twice more. By the end of the treatment, I was panting. I gazed down at the stitches, glad that they were dissolvable, so I wouldn't have to worry about taking them out again.
"Can someone pass me that?" I asked, pointing to the first aid kit. The male Oba grabbed it and dropped it in my waiting grasp, and I pulled out some linen bandages and a roll of medical tape. I wrapped my sore waist and taped it in place, and put the supplies back in the white box. I slid down against the beam and onto my butt, wincing and spreading my left leg out to relieve some of the pain. "That sucked." I muttered to myself.
"Why did you do this?" Deja asked.
"Stitches. Helps wounds like this heal faster. Easier to keep it clean too." I explained. Aria had been watching closely the entire time, and grazed a finger over the bandaging. She nodded to herself and started signing.
"I have seen this done before."
I didn't bother to ask where, not sure I really wanted to hear the answer. It gave me a bad feeling in my stomach to think of possibilities, so I kept quiet.
"Off your feet. Still need rest. Humans delicate." Aria signed, helping me to the moss bed.
"I'm not delicate." I complained. Aria raised a brow at me in a comical 'Really?' look. I bit my lip and cast my eyes to the side before meeting her gaze again. "I'm not." I pouted.
She chuckled and made a dramatic display of getting to her feet, groaning like she was twice as old as she was. She started to leave, nodding to the king and prince and beckoning for the male Oba to follow her. Caesar and Blue Eyes moved closer to my bed now, sitting beside me on each side. "Humans are so weird." Blue Eyes signed.
I grinned and laughed lightly, then stopped with a wince, laying a hand over my bandages. But I replied with a smile, "I know." My smile faded when I realized I had forgotten to do something important. I held Blue Eyes's glacial gaze and signed to him.
"Thank you."
He gave me a look. "For calling you weird?"
I smiled and shook my head. "For saving me."
"What? I did nothing. It was dead when I got there." He had an almost shameful look in his eye.
"Because of you. If you hadn't made me take that spear with me, I'd be dead right now." I explained.
His brows lifted, and I could see a smile tugging at his lips, though he tried to hide it. "How did you kill it?"
I looked down at my hands in my lap, recalling the event. "I didn't do anything really. It tackled me and landed on the spear tip." I felt a sadness sprinkle over me at the thought of the beautiful creature's demise.
"Why the sad face?" Blue Eyes asked.
I shrugged. "I'm kind of sad it's dead. But then again it's probably a good thing. I don't know."
"Humans really are weird." He shook his head with a little sigh. I smiled again and held back a giggle, and seen Caesar smiling amusedly.
"You were brave. Get some rest." Caesar took his leave. Blue Eyes got up to follow but I reached out and grabbed his wrist. He stiffened and froze. After a moment he turned to look at me and I glanced down before meeting his gaze again.
"I don't...I don't want to be alone. Please don't leave yet." I asked, for some reason feeling a bit awkward about it, a and I tried not to squirm when I realized I hadn't yet let go of his wrist. I didn't know what it was that had caused me to do this, it was just a sudden feeling of loneliness that hit me like a pebble filled wave, and the idea of being left alone caused a cold pit of fear in my stomach. The contact with Blue Eyes made that fear go away with his warmth, but I realized that it probably made the young ape uncomfortable, so I released him from my hold. I sighed and hugged my right knee, not meeting his blue gaze as I stared at the soft floor underneath me.
I heard nothing, but when I glanced up I seen Blue Eyes sitting down, waiting for my next action. "Sorry.." I couldn't help but sign.
He shook his head. "It's fine." I then remembered that he hadn't eaten yesterday, and I was afraid he still hadn't had anything. I asked him about it, and earned a strange look.
"What is it with you and my eating habits?" He seemed to be trying to lighten the mood.
I gave him a small smile. "I know what its like to go hungry. It's not fun." Truthfully I didn't want to go into detail about it, I would get carried away and would sound all sappy and girly. He was my friend and I didn't want him to know suffering of any kind, though I knew that was ultimately out of my control.
He smiled back and nodded. "The answer to your question is yes."
"Good." I signed.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there. You wouldn't be hurt if I had listened to my gut and gone with you." He signed, the air suddenly going tense. "You must have been terrified."
I sucked in a slow breath, and let it out in a slow sigh, nodding to his assumption. "I was. I knew I was being hunted. But it wasn't your fault. I was the idiot who insisted on going alone."
"Still, I should have followed you." He seemed to regret saying that afterwards. I guess he didn't want to come off as a creeper.
"Then you would be the one hurt right now." I pointed out.
"Better me than you." He didn't get the same embarrassed, almost shameful look in his eye like his last sentence, but stared at me with stubborn, almost angry looking determination to not change his mind. I stared at him with surprise. Better he than I? Surely he didn't mean that. But what if he did? A little voice inside my head said. I wished the voice would go away, I didn't want false hope. I didn't want to get hurt.
"What's that?" Blue Eyes said, looking at something near the ground. I glanced down and my brows lifted in a mild show of surprise. By the backpack, was a photograph. I picked it up and looked down at it, lips parted but void of emotion. I was aware of Blue Eyes moving to my shoulder to see, and stared down at it with me. Smiling back at us was my mother, brother and myself. It was the morning Dax and I had left to come here, my mom's stomach bulging with my unborn sibling as we all smiled happily, having no way of knowing that this would be our last moment together as a family.
"My family..." I whispered.
I was aware of Blue Eyes's glance at me. "You have a sister?"
I smiled and giggled a little at his assumption and I shook my head. "That's my mother. She was young when she had Dax. And then three years later she had me. And then..." I trailed off as my eyes burned, thinking about the little baby I never got to meet. I looked at my wide smile, the smile that believed everything was going to be fine, ignorant, stupid girl. I sighed and passed the picture to Blue Eyes. I couldn't look at that day anymore. But I was still reminiscing, so I reached for the backpack (it had been tossed nearer to my moss cot) and dug through it again. At the bottom, I found a plastic bag full of photographs.
Taking a soothing breath, I opened it and reached in and grasped one of the paper thin memories in my fingers. What I pulled out brought a smile to my face. I seen myself, crouched down hugging a harlequin Great Dane dog, who sat with his jaw resting on top of my head, his lips pulled into a smile as he panted. It was taken just a few months ago. The dog was a stray, but he was a sweet dog. Dax had taken the picture for me.
"What is that?" Blue Eyes signed to me. I was reminded then that he had been raised in the forest, and the closest thing to a dog would be a wolf, and they looked nothing like Great Danes at first glance.
"It's a dog." I answered.
"Dog?" He asked. Oh god there's that voice. It was husky and deep and youthful and oh my god. That voice could get me to do anything.
"They're like wolves. This is just a big breed of dog." I tried to explain. Blue Eyes just shrugged and shook his head, and I could see the look on his face. Humans are weird.
With that, I set it down and pulled out another picture. My mom was standing on the living room floor, her stomach flat, not yet harboring her third child. She had white paint on her face, two lines on her cheek bones, and three dots underneath them, along with her full bottom lip painted black. A younger me sat in front of her, odd eyes closed as she painted a thick dark stripe over my eyes and nose bridge. I looked on at how similar our hair was. Long, straight strands fell elegantly over our shoulders and down our backs, like a smooth flowing waterfall. The only difference between my mother and I had been the colors of our hair, her's being a beautiful coffee bean black, while mine was a dark river of chocolaty earthen colors. A few strands of hair had been braided at random, on each of us, as well as a few colorful beads had been woven into our hair. I remembered fondly of the clinking sound they made. My mother and I had done this often, as well as Dax, though he never let us put beads in his hair. I remembered when his hair had fallen down to his shoulder blades, before he cut it on a whim. I missed playing with it.
It was days like the ones in this picture that held my fondest memories, from years ago. My mother would have her days off from work and Dax and I would rush to finish our schoolwork so we could relax with Mom, conversing in Cherokee. On days like this, after she had painted us and done up our hair (half heatedly complaining about not being able to weave in feathers like she and her mother had done), she would teach us new things about our culture and history. Dax and I soaked it all up like sponges. After a while of this, she would make us tea, and dunk in dollops of honey and then we would all retreat to the living room, and watch movies we had all seen thousands of times in a nest of blankets and pillows and anything soft and cuddly we could find. I smiled and tasted salt from the tear that had escaped my eye. I took a deep, cleansing breath and put the photo down. I had almost forgotten that Blue Eyes was here but was quickly reminded of his presence when I felt his warm breath on my neck as he looked down at the photos.
"I'm sorry..." He signed, seeming at a loss for words.
I shook my head. "Don't be." I took another deep breath, fending off more tears. "I just...I can't believe that they're all gone now."
There was a moment of silence when all I wanted to do was jump back in time and give my brother one last hug, kiss my mothers cheek one last time, make sure they knew how much I loved them. I felt a hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. The pressure on my tense muscles felt phenomenal as the stress was massaged right out, and I let my head loll to the the side, giving a small sound of pleasure. The hand froze, but then continued it's lovely ministrations. Too soon, the hand retracted and I rolled my neck and shoulders, a content smile on my face.
"Thank you." I signed to Blue Eyes.
He didn't respond right away, though I was fine with just looking into those sky colored hues. They always held so much emotion, though much of it I could see he tried to hide, locked away. The look in those pretty eyes had me wondering, what color were my eyes? I don't fully know what happened after that, but the rest of the day, and much of the night, was spent talking and laughing, sharing funny memories from our childhoods with each other. I showed him my camera and showed him how it worked, and we even took a few pictures with each other, goofing around as much as my stitches would allow. Now, I could look back on this as one of my favorite moments. This is the day that I finally let my self fully accept, fuck I totally have a crush on him.