Summary: Cloud and Tifa want a baby. But after all his dips in the Lifestream, Cloud has been rendered infertile. To gain the child they both want so badly, Cloud tells Tifa to go have sex with as many men as possible until she gets pregnant. But when she does, who's the father? And what are the men's reactions when they discover that one of them is the father of Tifa's baby? AU. Smutfic, once the plot's out of the way.

Disclaimer: All I own is the Penthouse where I got this idea, and the idea itself. Nothing else belongs to me.

Queen's Quornor: Now for one of my other favorite non-canon pairings. I'm mainly a CloTi fan, but this pairing's pretty hot too. I tried to give this one, and the accompanying chapter, a certain feel that's different from the previous chapters. I'm not sure how well I succeeded, but I think I pulled it off. Did I succeed?

Oh, I'll Make Some Gil Baby

The train that ran from the plate to the undercity was down for repairs. But Tifa didn't mind walking. It was better for the environment and her legs, and besides, she was still trolling for men. She had reactivated the disguise materia, so 'Tonya' was back on the streets (albeit lacking a bra). It was a good look, and guaranteed to draw male attention. All she had to do was select one.

Tifa shivered slightly. It was windy and chilly, the sky overcast. To Tifa's mountain-born sensibilities, it was pretty obvious that a storm was brewing.

She was nearly at the footramp leading below the plate when a voice stopped her. "Hey baby. Wanna make a quick gil?"

Reno?

Looking towards the drawling voice confirmed her initial speculation. The Turk-turned-informant/hitman was standing at the entrance to an alleyway, a knowing smirk twisting his lips. He was dressed in torn jeans and a denim vest, open in the front. "Depends. How would said gil be made?"

In answer, Reno made a small, unmistakable gesture with his hips and jerked his head back down the alley.

Tifa considered the possibility, letting her eyes roam over the ex-Turk. In the three years since Shinra's destruction and his last visit to her Seventh Heaven, Reno hadn't really changed. He was still tall and lanky, his green eyes as full of mischief as she remembered. The unmistakable crimson hair was as enticing as ever; she had always wondered what it would be like to run her fingers through that scarlet mane. The scars slashing across his cheekbones had faded a little, and somewhere he had gotten a barbed wire tattoo etched around his left bicep, but for the most part he was still the same handsome, cocky Reno.

Yeah, she could get with that.

"Buddy, you got yourself a deal. One condition, though." Feeling much bolder than she normally did, Tifa slinked up to him and ran a finger suggestively down the line of bare skin between the unbuttoned halves of his denim vest. Six-pack and pecs. Her favorite part of a man's body. "I have to walk away as satisfied as you."

The smirk widened into a naughty grin. "You got it, babe."

There was a crack of thunder overhead. The pair looked up just in time to see the sky opening up in a deluge of rain. Tifa shook the water out of her eyes and looked at Reno, utterly drenched. "Want to move this inside?"

"Fuck no. Ain't you ever had sex in the rain?" She shook her head. "Well, there's a first time for everything. C'mon, babe. I'll show you a good time."

He took her hand and pulled her into the twisting, labyrinthine corridors of the alleys. After a while, he found them a secluded dead-end and pushed her up against the rain-washed metal, his mouth already on hers.

The kiss was hot, full of tongues and hunger. Tifa felt her knees give out and wrapped her hands around the redhead's neck, returning the kiss with equal passion. Pressed tightly against him, she became fully aware of how uncomfortable their sodden clothes were. She needed them off.

Now.

Reno apparently had the same thought. Tifa heard a switchblade click, and before she could do or say anything her shirt was sliced open down the front, and eager hands were peeling the fabric away from her unencumbered breasts. Without hesitation his mouth slid to her chest, sucking hard on the nipple. Tifa keened softly, and shoved the vest off his shoulders. Reno flipped it onto the ground and resumed suckling her, spicing things up by licking raindrops off her skin. The cool rain made her more sensitive to heat, amplifying her pleasure; Tifa groaned and grabbed one of his hands, shoving the digits down the front of her low-riders.

The switchblade cut again, and then his fingers were sliding into her secret heat, stroking the tissues and feverishly circling her clit. Gasping, Tifa ducked and took his mouth again before unbuttoning his pants and shoving them down to get at the cock within. Reno wasn't wearing any underwear; she squeezed his cock lightly greeting, then started fisting it.

All thoughts of slowing it down were gone. Every intention of enjoying it with sensuality had disappeared. The rational part of Tifa's brain had vanished, leaving behind nothing but pure, animalistic lust.

Reno groaned into her mouth, thrusting his hips into her hand. His hands tore at her pants, ripping the leather until her entrance was exposed to the cool, moist air. His long fingers slid inside her, twisting and probing and wriggling until Tifa gasped and leg go of his cock. She hadn't come yet, but she was close. Very close.

Reno slid his fingers out of her, the pouring rain cleansing them of her juices, and grabbed her hips, lifting her and slamming her back against the wall. Tifa moaned and kicked her legs out to wrap them about his slim hips, feeling him pressing into her sheath.

Reno didn't waste any time. His rhythm was unmerciful, driving her past one orgasm and towards another faster than she would have ever believed possible. She couldn't move; his grip on her was so strong that she was completely immobile, the mixture of the pouding rain and her own copious fluids adding to his slick movements.

The thrusts were hard and fast. Another orgasm was close, so close that she could already feel her body tensing in preparation for the explosion. It was going to be a big one. But she didn't want to come alone, and Reno wasn't ready to come yet.

Luckily, Jesse had always had a big mouth when it came to her conquests. She had told Tifa exactly how to get a man off when he was taking too long, a few months before the final assault on the Shinra building.

The rain made their skin extremely slippery, but Tifa needed more lubrication for what she had in mind. Breaking the kiss, she stared directly into Reno's eyes and brought her first two fingers to her mouth, sucking on them and swirling her tonge around them until her fingers were coated with her saliva. The redhead's hips were still working inside her when she drew his hand down her back and, eyes deliberately on his, slipped them into his ass, deep inside the tight hole to jab his prostate.

Reno went off with a howling yell, and Tifa held him tightly as she shuddered and sobbed out her own release, ending with an ear-splitting scream, the thunder doing little to drown out their entwining cries.

It was long minutes before either of them could move.

Reno finally let her slide down the wall and peeled himself away from her, dragging up and rezipping his pants before grabbing his vest. "Dirty bitch," he muttered, shrugging it onto his shoulders. "Fingering a guy like that when he ain't lookin'..."

"Don't pretend you didn't like it," Tifa retorted, looking at her ripped and useless clothes. With a little thread and a needle, the shirt could be saved. The pants, alas, were garbage-bound. "Because I know you did."

"You're right. I did. And I gotta respect a lady would would be brave enough to pull something like that on a guy like me." Reno flashed her a sly grin. "Care to make some more gil? I wanna see exactly how dirty you can get, and besides, there's a buddy of mine who needs to get laid, too."

Reno AND Rude? At the same time. Tifa considered it. She knew about the bald ex-Turk's little crush on her. Even if she didn't look quite like herself, it would still be an ego-booster.

And what exactly did Reno have in mind? Cloud kept her satisfied, but Tifa had always wondered about the darker side of sex. S&M, bondage, fisting, anal play...

Cloud would never do something so dirty, even if she did have the guts to ask him.

But Reno... She'd heard rumors about him.

"Where's your place?"

Fuck vanilla. She wanted to try kinky, dirty sex for once.