CHAPTER TEN: A BLAST TO THE PAST (HALE)
I was running down the hospital hallway, pumping my arms as fast as they'd go. He was on my tail, about to catch up to me. "We don't need you screaming, do we Natalie Hale?" he wailed, and there were gunshots. My leg crumpled beneath me, and I was helpless on the ground as he straddled me and pointed a gun at my head. "We're going to kill you, Natalie Hale. Just like we killed Rachel. And your mother. Just like how we're going to kill Emma." He cocked the gun and as he pulled the trigger I woke up screaming.
"Nat!" I heard my brother yell, running into my room. "Nat, are you alright?" Prentiss was right behind him, her gun out.
"I'm sorry," I gasped, sitting up and running my fingers through my hair. "I'm so sorry, I had a nightmare. I didn't mean to scare you."
Prentiss put her gun away and Daniel sat on the bed. He put an arm around me and told me it'd be okay. I felt sick. "You shouldn't be the one telling me it'll be okay," I whispered.
"You're my family, too. And you're in pain. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you almost died, Nat. I don't think I could've handled it if you had left me…and then this…."
"Dan, we're going to find Emma, okay?" I said, looking at my brother. His eyes reflected the deep pain he was feeling. "We're going to save her. I will make damn sure of it, do you hear me?"
"I know you will, Nat," Dan said, kissing the top of my head. He stood up. "Go back to sleep. You need rest."
I waited for him to leave the room and then I started to get up. "Hale, what're you doing?" Prentiss asked.
"I need to talk to Hotch," I said.
"It's three thirty in the morning. He's probably asleep."
"I need to talk to him," I said frantically. "I have to be on this case, Emily, I have to. I can't just stand here while my family is being ripped apart. I have to."
"Hale…."
"He murdered Rachel. He has a five-year-old girl with him. And I am a good profiler, I can help. He can't keep me away from this, not when I could be such an asset."
"It's not a good idea," she said.
"Maybe not. But you guys will need me, I know you will."
"Go back to sleep," Prentiss said after a pause. "We can figure this out in the morning."
She started to walk out of the room. "Wait. Emily."
"Yeah?" she asked, turning around at the doorway.
"You can call me Nat," I said hesitantly. "If you want. Obviously at work, people go for Hale because it sounds more badass, but—"
"Nat," Prentiss said. "Relax." She winked at me and then left the room, closing the door on her way out.
The next morning, Prentiss agreed to take me to Hotch. I had one chance to make him let me work the case. One shot. I didn't know what I was going to say to make him let me help, but I was going to try.
They were at the local police department, going over crime scene photos and other physical evidence. Hotch was the first to look up as I walked in. Slowly but surely I was able to put more weight on my leg. I didn't spend much time cheering over it though. Rachel was still dead and Emma was still missing. "Hale, what are you doing here? Why aren't you with your brother?"
"I need to talk to you," I said. "Privately."
He looked at me for a moment. "Alright. Let's go outside."
I nodded and followed him outside. The local police officers stared at me as I walked by, either with pity or interest I wasn't really sure. I tried to ignore them and pushed through the doors that lead to the front of the building. He stood out by the parking lot and looked at me. "Hotch, I—"
"Stop, Hale. I know what you're going to ask, and the answer's no."
"You can't keep me away from this," I replied calmly.
"I can, and I will," he reiterated. "I realize the pain you're in right now, but you're too biased. It's a conflict of interest. Your heart is going to screw around with your common sense, and when it comes down to it, I can't let that happen."
"What if it was Jack?" I snapped, knowing I was being needlessly heartless. "I know you wouldn't just sit back and let the rest of the team find him. Emma might not be my child, but she's the closest thing I have to one and I know I'd do the same things for her that you'd do for your son."
Hotch gave me a look that seemed torn between annoyance and dry amusement. "Two days on the job, and you're already trying to disobey a direct command?"
"I don't even have a badge," I argued. "I'm hardly an official agent."
"Don't use that as an excuse to tag along."
He knew he'd used the wrong words as much as I did. "You think I'm just tagging along?" I exclaimed. "Look, I won't do any of the heavy lifting, so to speak. Obviously, I can't. But you know I'm a good profiler, and I can help you. Just…let me do something. Anything. Even the smallest little job. Hell, I'll do your coffee runs if it gets me in on the case." He looked at me, and I stared back. "Stop profiling me," I snapped. Now I was the annoyed one.
"I'm not," he defended. "I'm trying to figure out if you can resist doing the heavy lifting."
"If it'll help my family, yes," I said.
I waited for what felt like hours for his response. "Fine," he said. "You can assist. But you will not go in the field, in your current state, and you cannot do anything too strenuous. You'll be restricted to utilizing only your profiling skills. Am I clear?"
"Crystal," I replied, but I gave him a small grin. He nodded, and we made our way back inside.
"Wait," he said, before we walked inside. I stopped, looking at him. "Your brother said something about a foster home. What was that about?"
I froze, trying to keep my face relaxed. I tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear. "Um…." My voice trailed, and for the first time, I felt genuinely uncomfortable in front of Hotch.
"Huh," he said, his eyes narrowing in thought. "This is the first time you haven't tried to cover the truth with a smokescreen. What happened?"
"It's in my records," I said finally, knowing there was no way I'd ever be able to hide everything. This was the FBI after all, they didn't just let anyone walk through the doors, carry a gun, and wear a badge. "I'm sure you'll have to go over them before you officially sign me up anyway."
"I'd rather hear it from you," he said, looking at me carefully.
"Is this really pertinent to what's going on right now?" I asked, stressed.
"Anything that's happened in your family is pertinent to this case," Hotch replied. "I wouldn't be prying into your personal life if it wasn't."
I sighed, moving my eyes away from him. "I don't like to talk about it," I mumbled.
"I gathered that."
I paused a moment longer. "Daniel was in college at the time, across the country. He wanted to come take care of me, but he loved school so much and I didn't want to take that away from him. I told him I'd do the foster care thing for a year. It wasn't even a year, it was like eight months. I got set up with a family who had three other foster kids. I wasn't even the oldest, there was another boy a couple months older."
"So what happened?" Hotch asked again.
"The man who took us in…wasn't very nice," I started.
"He was abusive," Hotch stated, not a question, and I saw the telltale pity in his eyes.
"Especially to the girls. There were two of us. He…he just wasn't a good man. Wasn't right in the head, you know. I didn't tell anyone…but when I saw Daniel again he saw the bruises and immediately knew. He pressed charges, got him put away for a while…."
"I'm sorry, Hale," Hotch said as my voice trailed. "I didn't want to have to dig up old, painful memories."
"They're with me all the time, Hotch," I sighed. "It'll be worth it if we can find this guy before he can do any more damage." I turned around and walked away from him. I couldn't hear him behind me. "Are you coming?"
"In a minute, I've got to make a call."
"Okay," I replied. "I'll see you inside."
He nodded and turned away.
I walked back in, a little shaken from revealing such a dark part of my life. It'd been a long time since I had taken a look at that particular skeleton in my closet. I needed to shake it off though. I couldn't dwell on my crappy background while I was trying to locate Rachel's killer and Emma's abductor.
It was time to crack down. I was in the FBI now, and it was about damn time I acted like it.
Sorry this one was so short! More to come soon! Comment, Follow...you know the drill :)