I have this song saved at the top of my document:Let Her Go-Jasmine Thompson. So I must have let it influence this chapter. Give it a listen if you like.
Daph beta'ed, but I'm still me so problems are mine, not hers. I'm her problem, not the document.
Story still belongs to me, but the characters don't.
Get strapped in because I think this one might be a bit of a bumpy ride.
Toss.
Turn.
Toss.
Turn.
Why all the sudden does my bed feel like the mattress was replaced with bricks? Rather than go to Ma's I opted to head to my house after the scene at the river. I had hoped that Tootsie would come by afterwards, but I not seen hide nor hair of her since I left.
Is she mad at me?
Naw, she's probably just busy.
Is she looking for more evidence to put me in the slammer?
Surely she would have come by and arrested me if she was. She would have never let me go.
I didn't kill Mike anyways.
Did I?
No. Obviously I'd remember if I did. Would I?
I killed Carl, is it so far fetched that I could kill again—that I did kill again?
Six a.m.
I toss and turn for another hour and realize I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep anytime soon.
Might as well get up and start my day.
My butt ought to be in a church pew right beside Ma, but I feel too dang guilty to do anything.
Maybe Mike didn't die.
Yeah, that's why Tootsie never came. Maybe she had to save his life too and she was just too busy to come by afterwards.
Who am I kidding?
I've done nothing but hide in this house since yesterday afternoon and I've not been able to sleep. The stink of the river isn't going to wash itself of me.
Dragging myself out the bed I make my way to the shower avoiding all mirrors as I go already know what they'll show me.
A killer.
No wonder Tootsie avoids me. She really knows what I am.
A murderer.
My thoughts swirl down the drain.
Just kidding, they all stay and bounce off my skull never giving me any sign of peace.
I know what I should do.
What I need to do.
What I am going to do.
Hurriedly I finish my shower. I get dressed and lock up the house.
The humidity is heavy. Like a fat elephant on my chest. The air is musty and I can feel the rain threatening to fall. Maybe the rain will hold off until I can get to the sheriff's department.
I doubt Swanie is in, but I can at least try.
Part of me hopes he is, but a very small part of me hopes he isn't.
I'm too pretty for jail.
Upon entering the building I see a sliver of light on under the chiefs door. Not a hit of Tootsie being there so I go straight back. Most of me is glad she isn't here.
Confessing you killed your Step-father isn't easy no matter how you do it.
I always liked ripping my bandaids off as a kid. Never did I care for slowly pulling it off. Tootsie would just be a distraction.
Knocking on the door, I'm answered with a gruff, "come in."
Apparently today's my unlucky day and, Swanie's here.
"Well, well, well, what did I do to deserve the pleasure of seeing your face this Sunday morning," Swanie asks as he rolls his chair back and crosses his fingers at the back of his head.
"Bella's grown. If you came to ask to date her, you're being awfully old fashioned. While I appreciate the sentiment, it isn't necessary."
"I killed Carlisle Cullen."
Consider the bandaid ripped off.
Swanie's stache goes into overdrive to the point it might twitch off his face. His silence kills me more than anything.
"If you're going to arrest me, could you please go ahead and do it?"
As soon as the words leave my mouth, Tootsie bursts through the door.
Color has risen in her cheeks and she is panting as she hangs on the the doorknob for supports.
"What are you doing you stupid man?"
"Well, hello to you too, Tootsie. I'm turning myself in for murder. Why else would I be at the sheriff's department on a Sunday morning?"
"You're an idiot," she shouts at me.
"Tell me something I don't know. Why do you think I'm turning myself in?"
"Turning yourself in for what, exactly," Swanie asks as if he's confused.
"Killing Carl and the mayor." I could have sworn I just admitted to killing Carl. Tootsie interrupted before I could confess to killing the mayor.
"You didn't kill Mike. I did."
What?
No. Tootsie couldn't have killed the mayor.
"Well only technically. I saw him drowning you so I fired a shot in the air. I guess I scared them man to death. Literally. He had a heart attack, but by the time I realized what happened, he was dead."
"Well I still killed Carl."
"That was ruled as an accident," she says. Just a few days ago she was trying to pin me to his murder. I can't keep up with her.
Throughout our exchange, Swanie's gaze has been ping ponging between the two of us. Slowly he has raised his hands to his head and now he's rubbing his temples.
He doesn't automatically start speaking, but his eyes flutter closed as he does.
"Carl's death was ruled an accident, Ed. Mike Brandon's as well, Bella. Get out of my office the both of you. I've got a lot of work to do."
Tootsie and I both are both a couple of gaping fish mouths as the door slowly opens.
Alice Brandon is on the other side.
Dread fills my stomach and I wonder how much of our conversation she's heard.
The smirk on her face tells me everything I need to know.
Blackmail.
She's always wanted Swanie's position and now's the perfect time to achieve it.
"Bereavement papers. I need time off to handle Daddy's funeral. You know after his accident."
She heard everything.
"Bella wait," Swanie says as he comes around the desk and places something large and gold in Tootsie's hand.
"I love you," he says to her and she responds with the same. He holds her hand a little longer than necessary and goodbye is written in his gaze.
Tootsie grabs my arm and drags me out of the office while I stare hole through Alice's head. Maybe if I stare long enough her head will spontaneously combust.
Not quite sure how Tootsie got me all the way to the front door without me looking at all, but she did it.
The rain that threatened to fall on my way over here has given up.
Fat raindrops pound against our flesh as Tootsie continues to drag me to my truck. She opens the driver's side door and shoves me in. Pushing against my side she works her way behind the steering wheel.
Our bodies are wedged against each other and I have no desire to move. So instead I put my arm on the bench seat behind her head as she fastens whatever her dad gave her around her neck.
"What's this," I ask.
"A sign that Daddy thinks something bad's about to happen."
The woman decides to speak riddles, so I decide to close my eyes and enjoy her close proximity before she pushes me away.
I feel her put the truck in drive and I just allow her to do whatever she likes.
We drive a piece before she starts to speak again.
"We need money."
"I've got a twenty in my pocket."
"You think we can live on twenty bucks?"
"Live?" I know this woman makes me stupid, but since when did she make me deaf. Surely she isn't suggesting we live together. Maybe I should have killed Carl sooner.
"We need money and to disappear. I've got a place to disappear to and a little money," she says as she dangles her locket at me, "but not enough for both of us."
"Yeah, I've got some. Take me home. Do you need some clothes?"
"We can worry about everything else later. For now we just need out of town," she says as she makes a few turns to head toward my house.
Finally we arrive at my house and I go in to get what I need.
She's still sitting in the driver's seat when I get back to the truck, so I open the door and shove her over.
For a moment she is miffed, but quickly recovers. I keeps expecting her to slide over to the passenger's side, but she never does as I start driving.
We never discuss where we are going so I just drive. Slowly we approach the bridge to cross Tocowana river.
The heat radiating from her body and the smell from her damp hair distract me momentarily.
Lightning flashes ahead of my truck and startles me. Jerking the wheel we start to hydroplane.
We spin, and spin.
Lightning flashes again and fills up the entire sky.
I've cheated death one too many times. This time I know I won't be able to hide from him.
The Tocowana River threatens to swallow me whole.
Um... Hi? Bye?
Remember my notes from a few chapters ago. Please keep the rotten fruit and veggies in your hands.
See y'all tomorrow?