Etyanárë chapter 10
Not long after the revelation of his heritage Aragorn left for the dunadain lands. Gilraen was not the only person near to tears to see him go, though they had come to the conclusion that unless he asked for company then they would let him go on his own as this whole thing was clearly important to him. It did help that he had met the dunadain before when they came through Rivendell and they would recognise him for who he was.
A year or so after that Silari rode out for another trip, this time down south, for she wished to visit Gondor a bit. The place was not that interesting, all formality and puffed up merchants and lords, or nervous fawning peasants, who could spot a noble lady when they saw one and were scared of her. Silari had a suspicion that many Gondorian nobles were not very nice and anyone with a bit of prestige seemed to have a superiority complex, turning to boot licking with those clearly above them. It rather annoyed her to say the least.
It was at the start of the year 2953 that she returned to Rivendell, by elfin reckoning - their year starting in spring as opposed to in winter among the humans.
When she arrived she was greeted by more than she expected to be. Apart from Elrond's family there was also Cirdan, an elf she was not really that enthusiastic to meet again. She absently wondered why he was here.
His greeting settled some of her nerves, for he was perfectly cordial to her, even though there was a strange twinkle in his eye and that curiosity that had been there at her last meeting with the ellon was definitely there now. She also noticed that he had let his silver beard grow a bit longer.
He also remained cordial throughout dinner, though he did keep looking at her, like there was something else on his mind but he thankfully did not ask awkward questions. Even so, Silari left the table rather quickly and went back to her room, forgoing the entertainments in the hall of fire.
When she got back to her room she got out her father's last letter to her and a few other possessions of his before curling up on a chair to look at them. Not long later she dozed off with his signet ring still clasped in her hand.
She was woken by a gentle knocking on her door. Still half asleep, she called in whoever the person was. To her horror, it was Cirdan and she only realised she still had her father's stuff out when it was far too late to go hide it without being really obvious. She would have to hope that he wouldn't notice or something.
No such luck.
He examined the things on the table with the curious eye she was getting used to seeing on him. As he looked around she tried to move from the ungraceful position she had slipped into in her sleep. When he noticed her attempts to move into a better position, he came over and helped her. With his help she got back into a normal sitting position with the minimum of fuss, though she pressed down on the hand holding the ring in the attempt and dropped it. To her absolute horror, Cirdan picked up the ring and examined it, then went an interesting shade of white.
"This is the signet ring of Maglor! How come you have it in your position?" He looked at her almost accusingly, then looked at the other items in front of her closer as she tried to think of an answer. Almost to distract without lying she said something.
"I buried him." Cirdan looked at her in shock for a second before going back to the items for a second before turning his piercing blue gaze on her.
"Who is Etyanárë?" He barely stopped talking before starting again, having seen her reaction. "You are Etyanárë, are you not?" Suddenly his eyes widened as he examined her features more closely, then looked at the ring in her hand and the letter on the table. "You are his child are you not? You are the last descendant of Feanor!"
Silari could not vocalise an answer and simply nodded, absolutely terrified. She knew Elrond was wrong when he had insisted she stay, she knew that one day someone who would not accept her would find out then everything would go downhill, she knew it. Through the panic, she failed to notice that he did not seem to be doing the whole condemn the evil one thing that she was expecting.
In fact, she only came down from her panic when she noticed that Cirdan was crouched in front of her with a hand on her face gently stroking her cheek. It did not even nearly dispel the panic she was feeling though.
"I will go away, just don't..." She finally managed to get out.
"No!" She looked up at him, fear rising back up in her eyes. He saw it. "I meant, no – don't leave. I don't want you to go. I will keep your secret Silari, just please don't leave where I cannot find you again." She raised an eyebrow despite everything.
"Why would you want to find me again?" Much to her surprise, a splash of red appeared on each of his cheeks and he looked down in embarrassment.
"I don't want not to see you again... I want to be able to, to find you and get to know you." He stuttered through, totally failing to look and sound like the great elf lord he was. Hesitantly, Silari reached out a hand and touched his cheek, gently stroking his beard. She was rather surprised, she knew human beards were quite rough but his was of the softest silk and she found she wanted to touch it more, it felt so nice.
She then found that words had ceased to be necessary and slid off her chair onto his knees when he was crouching in front of her. Not caring that he was the source of her fear, she curled into his arms as her wrapped them round her and took comfort in his embrace.
She did not know how long they sat, curled up together but when they pulled apart it had gone from twilight to darkness. When he left he said two words. Don't leave. She had touched his cheek in reassurance. No words were necessary.
XXX
The next day she went to the further reaches of Rivendell to the area she went when she didn't want to meet Elrond's guests for various reasons. In this case it was Gandalf and Saruman, the two istari who were also visiting for some reason. Silari guessed there was some political reason for it as the presence of the lord of Mithlond, Erond, two istari and Galadriel in the same place at the same time was no coincidence.
They would not arrive for a week or so yet but she was getting her hideout ready. As she was dawdling through the woods on her way back to Rivendell proper she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder to find Cirdan standing behind her. When they looked at each other, both blushed.
"I hope I didn't interrupt you, I just wanted to talk." He whispered; he seemed no more inclined to raise his voice in this peaceful area than she did.
"No," She smiled shyly at him, "I – I don't like being around when Elrond has too many visitors and since he seems to be having every important elf or Istar he can get his hands on as guest next week I decided to set up my hideaway so I didn't have to be around them, particularly the two istari. I don't mind Mithrandir too much but, though I have never met Saruman, I just do not trust him at all. There is something wrong about him." Cirdan watched her, a slight frown wrinkling his forehead.
It was then that Silari noticed that while she had been talking, Cirdan had slipped his arm round her waist and was holding her in a way similar to that of lovers. Thinking that propriety probably dictated against it, she leant into the embrace and felt the comforting warmth as he tightened his arms.
She had never been a particularly tactile person, probably because there had never been anyone who would hug her or whatever (well until Estel entered their lives), but she found she enjoyed his hold more than she felt she should. She could not, however, pull away.
They wandered through the woods until they ended up at one of the more secret and picturesque waterfalls of Rivendell. When there she led him to a large flat stone by the pool and gently pulled him down onto it and they sat in silence for a few minutes before Cirdan finally spoke.
"I am sorry if I seemed presumptuous…" He trailed off in the face of her rather sardonic expression. Rather deliberately, she curled into his embrace more and snuggled into his chest.
"If I objected, I wouldn't be doing this now, would I?" He smiled at her and lifted her chin so he could look her in the eyes.
"If you didn't mind that then would you mind me kissing you?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. She stared at him with wide eyes, totally shocked. This elf seemed to have a talent for keeping her off balance.
"You want to kiss me?" She asked him dumbly. He nodded at her, a nervous smile on his face. After a few seconds thought, she nodded at him nervously. His smile brightened and his eyes began to twinkle as he leant in to her and gently brushed her lips. He drew back for a few seconds before plunging in for a proper kiss.
Silari was not sure what to do exactly as she had never been kissed but, rather hesitantly, she kissed him back. It was not that long until he pulled away from her but she was already breathless and inclined to lean back in for more. She flushed a rather deep shade of pink and looked down.
"I'm sorry if…" Cirdan started before she put her fingers to his lips.
"Don't apologize; it is just that I have never been…" His eyes widened as he realized what the end of the unfinished sentence was. He touched her cheek with his finger tips and then stroked her cheek gently.
"You have never kissed anyone before? Surely there are many Ellyn who have tried for it yet you decide to favour me with that gift. You did not even like me until very recently, what have I done to deserve such a gift?" He was still stroking her cheek, looking at her like he had been shown the gates of Valinor.
"I have failed to notice these many Ellyn you mention, then again I have never been that interested in looking for an ellon. When you are over the age of the lord of the land then there are not very many single Ellyn you want to look at." She smiled at him hesitantly before leaning in and kissing him again. They kissed for a little while before pulling back.
"You are older than Elrond?" He asked, eyebrow raised.
"By a year or two, not that anyone would believe it the way he behaves like my father. Incidentally, if he gets wind of a relationship between us then you probably will get the whole fatherly talk from him, never mind that we are both older than him." Cirdan just threw his head back and laughed. When he brought it back he was shaking it gently and grinning.