Part 10
A full week had past since the birth of little Johnny; both child and mother were healthy and happy. Apparently the infant had one set of lungs inside him. He cried endlessly, and for no reason at most times. He cried before he ate and after he ate. He cried before his diaper was changed and after. He cried before he slept and after he slept.
Sam had the infant perched up in his arms in the early hours of a new day as he rocked him back and forth trying to quiet the infant before he awoke the entire neighbourhood up.
"It's okay, buddy," Sam whispered, tiredly. He could barely keep his eyes open as the crying finally settled down to a little whimper. Sam peered over to his bed were Ruby was fast asleep in bed; the ex demon slept through anything. "You hungry buddy? I'll get you a bottle, or you want to go back to bed?"
An hour passed until the newborn finally fell back asleep. Sam climbed into his bed tiredly and the moment his head hit the pillow he was out like a light.
And then Johnny woke up again ten minutes later.
-==-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dean watched with a raised brow as Sam tried to stay awake while eating a bowl of cheerio's. Several times his head almost became one with the milk and cereal.
"Sammy, didn't you get any sleep last night?" Dean asked.
"About an hour," Sam murmured, resting his head on the cold table.
"You should have woken me up you idiot," Ruby snapped.
"I tried," Sam yawned.
"Johnny needs a soundproof room," Ben complained, looking as tired as Sam. "Or we need earphones."
"One or the two," Castiel grunted, "It looks like not even Moe could sleep."
The dog was on its back snoring loudly now, when usually breakfast for him meant jumped up and down waiting to be thrown a piece of bacon.
"Sorry guys," Sam apologized. "Moe was howling with Johnny all last night."
"I'll get everyone some earphones tonight then," Dean yawned, mouthful of toast. "Including the dog."
Sam pouted when a familiar cry sounded from the room he shared with Ruby.
"Oh no," Sam cried, as his head fell into his folded arms in defeat. "It hasn't been an hour yet."
"I'll go get him," Ruby yawned, stumbling off. "He probably needs a bottle, and then you can change him."
Sam groaned. "I didn't realise how hard this was going to be."
"You'll get use to it, Sammy," Dean assured his younger brother. "He needs to get into a routine, that's all."
"Dad's a professional now," Ben said, sarcastically.
"Oh, go and have your morning coffee, you grouch," Dean chuckled.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Another week had past, and while Sam was happy to have the month off for paternity leave, he found himself more stressed looking after one little infant. Johnny had settled into a nice routine like Dean said he would but it wasn't exactly a routine Sam liked. In fact Sam had written his son's daily routine down, in order to help him organise a routine. A normal day went like this;
5.30 am- Wake up crying.
5.40 am- diaper, a big poo.
5.45 am- Bottle.
6.00 am- crying.
6.30 am- burped.
7.00 am- crying.
7.30 am- vomited on Ruby, and crying.
8.30 am- still crying and bottle.
8.45 am- diaper again.
9.00 am- sleeping.
9.30 am- wake up screeching then fell back asleep.
11.00 am- woke up crying and bottle.
Sam was lying on his stomach on the sofa, one hand dangling on the ground and the other under his head and a pillow. Johnny was nestled safely in a rocker, his deep blue eyes looking up at Sam as he sucked on the pacifier in his mouth. Sam smiled at him tiredly.
"Where's Ruby?" Castiel asked, as he slowly made his way into the living room.
"She went for a walk," Sam mumbled, tiredly. Castiel frowned, "Do you need anything, Cass?"
"No," the angel shook his head, "If you need to sleep a little, I can look after the little one."
Sam was silent for a moment as he contemplated the idea. "Okay, but wake me up if anything happens; though his crying would probably wake me up anyway."
"Don't worry," Castiel smiled, "Everything will be fine."
"He might need a bottle in about half an hour," Sam said.
"Okay," Castiel nodded.
"You might want to make it now, so he doesn't have a fit when he waits for it," Sam offered.
"Okay," Castiel nodded, lifting the infant up into his arms and headed to the kitchen. Johnny eyed Castiel suspiciously then continued to suck on the pacifier loudly.
"Thanks, Cass," Sam yawned shutting his eyes. It didn't take long for the ridiculously tall man to start snoring.
--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--==-=--==-=-=-=-=-=-
"Jesus, look how small the little bub is," Bobby smiled, affectionately at the little blue bundle he held. "Where's Ruby?"
"At home," Sam replied. Johnny looked up at his grandfather figure and blinked several times, his lower lip falling, "She wasn't feeling well."
"Suppose it's only been three weeks," Bobby shrugged as he watched Castiel try and lower himself back into a grey sofa. He straightened himself up and tried again, struggling to sit back on the seat without feeling like he was going to fall over due to the excess weight from his belly.
"You need some help?" Dean asked, holding himself up by the armrests of his chair.
"No," Castiel grunted, "This is ridiculous, something as simple as sitting is a task."
Bobby chuckled, "and to think he's only six months pregnant."
"He only has three months left," Sam pointed out, as Johnny began to sob loudly, startling Bobby.
"Did he swallow a siren?" Bobby asked, as Sam reacted quickly taking the infant into his arms. Sam walked off slowly rocking the infant.
"Something like that," Dean said, as Castiel still tried to lower him self down. Dean looked up his eyes widened, "Only three months!? Man this is going by too quickly."
"Not quick enough," Castiel grunted, standing up straight and walking off.
"Where are you going?" Dean asked.
"I need to take a leak," Castiel replied, disappearing from view. Bobby chuckled as Sam made his way back into the room.
"Bobby, where can I change him?" asked Sam, "He's just done another whooper and he's vomited all over himself again."
"You call it a whooper?" Bobby asked. Sam smiled, weakly. "Try one of the spare bedrooms upstairs."
Sam nodded as he walked off, sighing slightly.
"What's wrong with the princess?" Bobby asked.
"He's exhausted from looking after the kid," Dean replied, "And he's gonna go back to work next Thursday. He's not sure he's ready to go back."
"Well, can't Ruby look after the kid," Bobby asked, with a raised brow. "I mean, yay for women working, but I don't know, shouldn't she be bonding with her boy?"
Dean frowned, before looking up at Bobby.
"Well, Cass told me she hardly does anything," Dean muttered, "I mean, she's a heavy sleeper and not even a bomb can wake her, so Sammy usually deals with Johnny at night. I don't know, Cass is probably exaggerating, I mean Sammy would've said something otherwise."
"Hmm," Bobby murmured.
Something occurred to Dean. It was rather quiet. Normally two voices could be heard arguing, or things would be breaking. There was nothing but unnerving silence. "Where are Michael and Lucifer?"
Bobby suddenly chuckled.
"Lucifer took Michael out to a strip club last night,"
"Lucky Michael," Dean grinned, "ahh, those where the days."
"It was a gay strip club," Bobby said, bluntly. Dean roared with laughter. "They're both still asleep. Apparently a drag queen pinch our beloved angel's rear, got into a punch up. Came home with a black eye."
"Lucifer?"
"No, Michael, he's got a shiner," Bobby smirked, "Lucifer came home with some guy last night. I had to throw him out. Or her, not sure, he had more hair then Gabriel."
Dean chuckled, "Go Lucifer. At least he got some at last, man or woman."
"He's a he," Lucifer said, stumbling into the living room, puffy eyed and fatigued, dressed in nothing but his orange boxer shorts. "The fucker just woke me up with his stupid fucking phone call at 7 in the morning."
"Its one in the afternoon," Bobby chuckled, before he frowned, "And how'd he get your number?"
"I think I wrote it on his dick," Lucifer grumbled, rubbing his eyes. "Dunno how the jackass read the damn thing. What was that noise earlier? It sounded like a fire truck."
"Johnny," Dean replied.
"Depp?" Lucifer asked as he fell back onto the sofa that Castiel had earlier tried to lower himself into.
"You wrote your cell phone on a guy's dick?" Bobby repeated his voice coarse.
"I was drunk," Lucifer snapped, before he clutched his head grumbling, "Eugh, hangovers suck. My ass hurts- and don't give me that look Dean, not for that reason. I'm always on top."
Dean chuckled, just as Castiel returned rubbing the back of his neck yawning, "Oh, hello Lucifer."
Lucifer acknowledged the angel with a nod, and again Castiel battled with the sofa that seemed to not want him to sit on it. Lucifer watched, amused as his younger brother struggled to bend his knees and seat himself down. The devil reached over, grabbed a handful of the angel's pants and pulled him down. Castiel gasped, tensing, as he fell backwards, and landed safely on the sofa.
"Thank you- good Lord!" Castiel gasped, "Michael- what happened to you?"
The archangel more or less crawled into the room, and sat on Lucifer.
"Mikey got into a bar fight," Lucifer smirked, pushing his brother gently off him so that Michael was sitting between the devil and Castiel.
"Is that lipstick on your forehead?" Dean asked. And sure enough Michael had a bright red mark the shape of lips on his forehead.
"That woman, I mean the man kissed me," Michael frowned, "I don't understand why he had a dress on."
"He had the ass for it," Lucifer said, approvingly.
"So you got beaten up by a drag queen?" Dean asked.
"No, he got beaten up by the drag queen's boyfriend," Lucifer chuckled. "Michael threatened to smite him; something about the power and compelling and Dad. Mike's a homophobe."
"I'm not a homophobe," Michael retorted angrily, "I just can't see why men and women are not happy with what they are given. If one was supposed to be a woman then he'd be a woman. Honestly, cutting off one's manhood- circumcision is dreadful enough! You men should be happy I talked Father out of that one! Honestly!"
Dean and Bobby roared with laughter as Lucifer grinned shaking his head.
"Last time I heard, it was Paul who talked everyone out of circumcisions," Castiel said, seriously.
"Why are we talking about circumcisions?" Sam asked, with a raised brow as he returned with Johnny resting against his chest.
"We think it's about time your due for one, Sam," Lucifer said, happily. "I'm sure Bobby can perform the miracle of cutting off one's dick."
Sam looked mortified, "NO! I like my thing just fine, thank you!"
Dean and Bobby could not take it anymore. Both men were rolling on the floor laughing noisily. Beside them, Castiel struggled to rise up.
"I can't get up," Castiel complained. "And I need to pee again!"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
That Saturday, Castiel's two brothers had convinced him to go fishing with them for a few hours, and looking down at the small white boat that Michael sat in, unsteadily rocking with the small waves, he wasn't sure he wanted to go anymore
"I'm not sure I want to go fishing," Castiel grunted, looking at Dean. "It doesn't look safe."
"It's okay Cass," Dean grinned, "That's Bobby's little boat."
"Come on," Lucifer sighed, "It's gonna be cool, you, me, Mike and all the fish."
"We'll see if we can beat Dad's fishing record," Michael grinned, under his fisherman's hat.
"I do not think the boat would be able to carry 2000 fish," Castiel grimaced. "I'm not going."
"Yes, you are," Dean said, pushing the angel forward. "You need a nice day off in the sun. It's Saturday, and I have to work, so get on the boat and have some fun with Ren and Stimpy."
"We should be at church," Castiel frowned, as he clumsily climbed in and sat in the back. "Michael, you agree don't you?"
"It's Saturday not Sunday; and besides anywhere is the place of God," Michael replied, playing absentmindedly with his hat. "Including this boat, get in Lucifer."
"Yeah, yeah," the devil growled before he jumped in unceremoniously tossing the boat around. Castiel gasped in horror, clutching the edges of the boat tightly at it shook under him.
"Oi! Stop scaring Cass!" Dean snapped.
"Yes, captain," Lucifer said, saluting him with one finger. "Let's go, Seaman Michael."
Dean watched as the three men- once supernatural beings- began to row out into the calm river as Lucifer sang merrily.
"Row, row, row your boat, all across the sea, I don't know the rest of the words, so fuck off cause I don't care!"
"Okay, Angel is in the boat I repeat Angel is in the boat! Over!" Dean whispered in his phone.
"What are you doing Dean?" Sam replied.
"Shut up Sam," Dean grunted, "I'll be there in twenty! Over and out!"
"You're an id-"
Dean hung up before Sam could finish.
=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Sam! Seriously, why all the streamers? And what's with the pink balloons?" Dean asked, eying the living room in disdain, especially when he eyed the large white teddy bears scattered across the room. "Come on!"
"It's to create the atmosphere! The baby shower was your idea!" Sam said, "Besides-"
"You moron! I said forget the baby shower for now, that can wait till September!" Dean snapped, "Come on. It's the surprise birthday party, Sammy!"
"Sorry," Sam murmured, "I'll fix it up."
"I'll help," Dean chuckled, picking up one ridiculous sized bear. "This reminds me of someone."
"Looks like Bobby," Sam grinned, weakly, just as the said man walked in with a case of beer in each hand.
"What's with all the pastels and the pink balloons?" Bobby asked, "I know Cass is pregnant, but seriously, you trying to turn him into a girl Dean?"
"Sammy bought the decoration," Dean grinned, ruffling his brother's hair.
"Awww, Samantha," Bobby cooed, "Isn't that sweet?"
"Ha-ha, laugh it up," Sam smiled. "I'm still not sure it was a good idea to leave two angels and the devil alone in the middle of a lake in a small boat."
"They'll be fine," Bobby grinned, "Lucifer's pretty good at steering that boat. Just hope he doesn't fall out again."
=--==-=-==-=--==-=-=-=-=-=-=--=
"You're both idiots!" Castiel snapped, his teeth chattering as he hung onto the boat which was now floating upside down right in the middle of the lake. Michael and Lucifer were on the opposite side clinging onto the boat in the same fashion. "How are we supposed to get to shore now?"
"Swim?" Michael offered.
"Well, I don't think I can swim," Castiel snapped. "We are going to be stuck out here forever! And I'm going to get sick!"
"Quit your bitching," Lucifer grumbled, "We just have to turn the boat around. On the count of three Michael, push the boat around. Cass let go for a moment alright. One! Two-"
"No!" Castiel growled, "What if I sink!?"
"Alright hang on," Lucifer grunted, "I'll come to that side and you can hang on to me. Happy, whiney baby?"
"No!" Castiel growled, just as something slimy swam against his arm, "AHHH! Something's touching me!"
"Probably just a fish," Michael replied, before his eyes widened, "Are there any crocodiles in here?"
"I don't know," Lucifer said, his eyes bulging. "Let's just hurry!"
"Oh! I don't want to be eaten by a crocodile!" Michael cried, clutching Lucifer tightly with both arms wrapped around his head, in the process causing the devil to sink under the murky water. The devil came up splattering before he knocked the angel across the head with a closed fist.
"You jackass! Stop trying to drown me!" Lucifer said, "Now come on! We have to turn the-"
Lucifer looked up and paused, there was Castiel sitting in the boat glaring at them.
"Hurry up! I want to go home!" the angel snapped.
Above them, three archangels, two seraphs and an ophanim chuckled. The sun brightened considerably as one of the archangels complained
It would have been much funnier if Castiel wasn't there. We could have caused a tidal wave.
Maybe next time, Uriel.
=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"What? We're not ready yet!" Dean snapped, when Bobby informed them that the fishermen were coming back. "And no ones gonna be here until six-thirty!"
"Michael's managed to convince Cass to go to my place to change," Bobby chuckled, "But I think we should call everyone and tell them to get here earlier. Your boyfriend sounded pissed."
"Dean, half the sausage rolls are gone!" Sam cried from the kitchen, "And all the spring rolls and most of the meat pies too!"
"What!?" Dean snapped, "Who ate them!?"
"Cass did," Ben replied, from behind his DS.
"He ate all that?" Sam asked. "In two days?"
"God Damnit!" Dean cussed, "Now I have to get more! I'm gonna have a word with him when he gets back! He's not eating for three; he's eating for an army."
"You sound like a nagging grandma," Bobby chuckled.
"I do not!" Dean said, outraged. Ben and Sam stared at him, "Okay, so I do, I just want Castiel's party to be perfect!"
"Okay, relax, it will be great," Bobby grinned. "Lucifer's drawn up a bath for Cass, we have plenty of time. Plus Michael found my copy of Anne Rice's 'Christ the Lord' Cass is reading it."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=--==--==-=-=-=-=-=-
Within a few hours, the entire house was filled hunters and the few friends the Winchesters had made over the years. The atmosphere was loud and cheerful other then Dean's random panic attacks when the second batch of meat pies burnt and when a balloon pop over his head, startling both he and little Johnny.
"So when will he be here?" Pamela asked, her newly healed eyes eying Sam's ass as he bent over to pick up Johnny's pacifier which the infant spat out for the third time. He was resting in Ellen's arms, looking up at her with wide eyes, but for once he didn't cry.
"In about ten minutes," Sam replied, "Dean's gone to pick them all up, so he shouldn't take long. I think he likes you Ellen, he cries with everyone but me and Cass."
"Yeah, Ruby told me he was a sulker," Jo grinned, "He's so cute! Mum! Have another baby!"
Ellen glared at Jo, "You should be the one giving me a grandchild! Not me! I ain't doing that again! Why do you think you have no siblings?"
"Why do you think Johnny won't have anymore siblings," Ruby added. Pamela chuckled, spotting the concerned look on Sam's face. "And don't give me that look Sam. Unless if you have some angel mojo like Cass, forget it!"
Jo laughed, loudly. "Aww look he's yawning!"
"Aww," Ellen melted.
"Bless him!" Pamela said in admiration. Ruby smirked as the men around them rolled their eyes.
"Aww, bless him, he pooped!" said Ed Zeddmore in a high pitch voice. Ellen glared at him, intensely until the man cleared his throat and walked off.
"Idiot," Pamela grumbled.
"I just got a message from Lucifer," Bobby called out; "They're just outside!"
"Quick! Hide!" Sam shouted.
"What if we scare him and he goes into labour!?" Harry Spangler asked.
"Hide you jackass!" Sam growled, as everyone hide behind chairs, walls, doors, tables, sofas, desks and other household furniture. Ruby switched off the lights and instantly Johnny began to cry. Sam quickly made a grabbed for him and instantly the child calmed in his father's arms. They waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Five minutes passed.
"Shouldn't they be here now?" Ed asked. Bobby pulled out his cell phone and sent a text to Lucifer. Moments later it beeped and Bobby read the message, his face growing dark.
"That stupid idiot!" Bobby snapped, "Dean stopped for petrol and Luce thought he'd be funny!"
"Damn bastard," someone grunted in the dark, "Why's he coming here for anyway?"
"Yeah, wasn't this a family thing?" another asked.
"He is family," Sam replied. The house fell silent when again Bobby's phone beeped.
"It's them now," Bobby called out, "It was Dean this time, so it isn't a false alarm."
Everyone hushed as the door creaked open and the sound of Lucifer cursing loudly and something shattering startled everyone.
"You okay Lucifer?" Dean asked,. "What did you break?"
"Beats the fuck out of me," Lucifer growled, "I can't see anything. Ouch! Michael you jackass, watch where you're walking!"
"Well, get out of the way; don't just stand in the middle of the pathway!" Michael snapped back.
"Why is it so dark in here anyway," Castiel asked, "And why does the house smell like sausages and meat pies? And are those balloons?"
"Come on, Cass," Dean said, grabbing someone's arm, "Let's go to the living room."
"I ain't Cass, fucker," Lucifer snapped, "And if you kiss me I'll kill you!"
"Damn it, Lucifer, get the hell out of the way," Dean snapped, reaching blindly for another arm. "That you Cass?"
"I'm Michael,"
"I'm in the living room already," Castiel replied, switching on the light.
"SURPRISE!" Everyone screamed jumping out of their hideouts. (Ed collided headfirst into the desk in his attempt to get up)
The angel gasped, startled and in the next room Michael fell over in fright.
"Happy birthday!" came another collective scream.
Castiel looked back at Dean who grinned at him, slyly. "Dean?"
"Happy first birthday, angel," Dean grinned, as Pamela carried a chocolate cake shaped like angel's wings with one large candle lighting up the room. "I know your 3000 years plus but I figured you wouldn't want to blow out 3000 candles, give of take a century."
Castiel smiled, "Thank you, this is wonderful. Thank you everyone."
"He's three thousand, and ninety three," Michael said to Lucifer with a smile.
"You're still a cherub!" Lucifer laughed loudly, before he frowned angrily. "I lost the apocalypse to a cherub!?"
Everyone ignored him as the whole room began to sing Happy Birthday, with rather dreadful voices when combined. Castiel went red, blushing in embarrassment as catcalls and hoots filled the room. The sound slowly died down until Castiel blew out the one candle and again the calls and cheers began.
The next few minutes the angel thanked each hunter and friend for their birthday wishes until everyone settled down mingling and eating.
"Happy Birthday, angel," Dean grinned. Castiel smiled back.
"Thanks you, Dean," Castiel smiled, "This was lovely."
"And I got you some sushi!" Dean beamed. He added in a hushed whispered "And a surprise later."
"I want it now," Castiel grinned back.
"After everyone goes, if you know what I mean," Dean grinned. Castiel bit his lip in anticipation.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I knew I said Luce and Mike wouldnt be in this chapter, but I want to celebrate Castiel's awesomeness. I needed their help to do so, since Mike would know his brother's bday…
Just so you all know Johnny is a June baby, the exact date of birth is 24th . Castiel's birthday falls on the 16th of July, which falls on a Thursday, but they are celebrating on the 18th which is a Saturday and the only reason Dean knows is because Michael told him. Oh, and I made it up, oh and yes, I can see the future… hehe
Spirit Mornea- You asked for more and you got it on the day! Haha. I'm glad your enjoying this
House1Nocturne- Yeap, little Johnny is named after sir. Maybe next chapter while in bed Dean and Cass might discuss baby names. What would you suggest. I've decided one name already but I aint giving any clue as to what it is at all
Lenya Greenleaves- I thought it was necsarry that Johnny peed on someone, babies pissing on adults is a must. HEHE
Touch of the Wind: A bit more argument between Michael and Lucifer this chappy. Hehe, imagine God coming down and fighting with Bobby to get Mike back… HAHAHA! That would be fun, but I don't think I'm bothered.
Crazy4Dean- Thanks! I'm thrilled your enjoying this!
blackdoggy1- I figured he'd work the best as Dean and seriously Johnny and Josh kissing are my wetdreams…
Shooshkipoo- Sammy's gonna be an awesome daddy!
Pottingshedpixie- did you manage to get back on your chair? I work in childcare, so yeah, I've been around kids… never had one pee on me, but one's poo managed to get past the nappy and onto my jeans… that was so gross. Luce didn't manage to pick up a nurse or two, but I'm sure he'll be in a hospital bed soon enough. Michael shall stick around until the end.
alaine1910: Thanks! I had a great birthday. I got to perve at football players with short-shorts and I saw Trip H and Randy Orten! Ahaha
Peace and Chicken Grease
Afro