"April, where the hell were you tonight? You were supposed to meet me at the bar and we were gonna go out for a late dinner?" Roger asked as April stumbled into the apartment.
"Sorry Baby. Me and Denise were hanging out. We lost track of time." she slurred looking up at him as he rushed to the door to catch her.
"You were doing that shit again, weren't you? April, I thought we talked about that." he asked picking her up to carry her to the couch.
"I'm sorry Roger. I couldn't help myself." she cried inaudibly holding on to him tight.
"It's OK Baby, go to sleep. We'll talk about it tomorrow." he whispered as he put her down on the couch.
"I love you Erik." she slurred getting comfortable on the couch.
"Erik loves you too Baby." he whispered kissing her head before going into the bedroom. The next morning, he got up and made coffee. April was still passed out on the couch. As he waited for the coffee to be done, he stared over at April. He couldn't stop thinking about what April said before she went to sleep. He knew that her using had to do with her thinking about the baby. But he didn't know how to help her. He went back into the kitchen to pour a couple of cups of coffee before he woke up April. "April Baby. It's time to get up." he said sitting on the coffee table.
"What time is it?" she asked opening her eyes slowly.
"7:30. Baby, we have to talk." he said handing her her cup of coffee.
"What do you mean?" she asked playing stupid.
"April, I know you got high last night. We need to talk about it." he said as she sat up on the couch.
"I was just hanging out with Denise and she had some left over from the other night..." she said looking up at him.
"I thought you weren't gonna do that anymore. I thought we talked about this and decided that you weren't gonna try to escape anymore." he asked looking down at her.
"I was, but I was walking through the park and I saw all the mother's with their babies and I got to thinking about Erik and... I don't know. I couldn't help it. When I'm doing that, I don't miss him so much." she said leaning over to put her coffee on the coffee table.
"Baby, you can't keep doing this. You're hurting yourself." he said leaning over to her.
"I know, but Roger it's like nothing I ever experienced. I mean, I'm not in pain when I'm high." she said as he got up from the table.
"Is living here in the real world with me so painful?" he asked looking down at her.
"Roger, I'm just saying, it's not that bad. You should try it. You'll see what I mean." she said swinging her legs over the side of the couch.
"Is that what you want? Both of us being junkies?" he yelled looking over at her.
"Not junkies Roger. Just try it once. If you don't like it, you don't have to do it again. And I won't do it again either. I swear." she said looking up at him.
"I can't believe you're actually suggesting this." he told her as he paced around the living room.
"I'm only asking you to try it once. Who's it gonna hurt?" she asked looking up at him.
"There are so many people it could hurt April. Us for starters." he told her running his fingers through his hair.
"Only if we let it. Roger, you don't have to do it again if you don't want to." she said going over to him.
"I don't know April. I just don't know anymore." he told her as he opened the door and left the apartment. She rolled up her sleeve and stared down at the track marks she had on her lower arm. As she ran her fingers over them, she pulled her sleeve back down and went into the shower.
"Roger's gonna do it with you?" Denise asked looking over at April as they sat in Denise's living room drinking beer.
"He's thinking about it. I don't know if I want him though." she said putting her beer down at her lap.
"Why not? I thought you wanted him to feel as good as you do?" she asked looking over at her.
"Yeah but, I don't want it to change who he is." she said looking up at her.
"April, it hasn't changed you, right?" she asked reaching over to prepare the needle.
"I guess not." she said picking up the beer before wrapping her belt around her upper arm to get ready to take the shot. As she slid the needle into her vein, images of Roger playing with a little boy in the park flashed through her mind. She had been thinking about that a lot lately. The boy looked like Roger and was laughing as Roger picked him up in the air and spun him around. She was glad when the drug took affect. The image disappeared into a wonderful fog. "It's OK Erik. Daddy's got you." she slurred as Denise looked over at her.
"It's OK April. Let it go honey." she said playing with her hair as April tilted her head back against the back of the couch enjoying her haze.
April stood outside the bar, staring into the window. She watched Roger serve drinks and wipe down the counter. Shoving her hands into her pockets, she held the baggie of heroin in her right hand. She bought it to share with Roger. She let go of the baggie and zippered her right pocket before opening the door to enter the bar.
"Hey Baby." he said looking up as he watched April saunter into the bar.
"Hey Baby. Can we um... can we talk? In private?" she asked leaning over the bar.
"Um... sure. Is everything OK?" he asked curious.
"Yeah. Everything's fine. I just have something I want to show you." she said backing away from the bar as Roger came around the bar going to her. "Can we go out back?" she asked looking up at him.
"Sure. I'll be right back. Can you cover for me?" he asked looking over at the other bartender.
"Yeah Rog. Sure." he smiled looking over at him as Roger and April went out the back door.
"What's up Baby?" he asked looking down at her.
"Now, don't be mad at me, OK? I just got something for us." she said unzipping her pocket to take the baggie of heroin out.
"What the hell are you doing? I never said I would do that with you." he asked taking the baggie from her and shoving it in his pocket so no one would see it.
"I know you didn't say you would, but I just thought..." she started when he interrupted her.
"You thought that if you already had it, I couldn't say no, is that it?" he asked looking down at her.
"Sort of... yeah." she said looking up at him.
"I can't believe you April. I'm at work." he told her angrily.
"I just thought we could do it when you got off work. We could do it together." she said looking up at him.
"I can't deal with this right now. Go home April. I'll be there when I get off work." he said looking down at her.
"What about...?" she started when he interrupted her again.
"I'm holding on to this. I don't want you to get wasted before I get a chance to talk to you." he said looking down at her.
"Fair enough. I'll see you at home." she said leaning in to kiss him, but he turned his back to go back inside. He was angry at her for buying the smack without asking him. She knew he needed time to think about her proposition.