Disclaimer Apologies to Ian McEwan, who wrote a wonderful book, to Christopher Hampton, who wrote the script. Thank you to Joe Wright for his vision, and to Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, Romola Garai and the rest of the cast for bringing Joe's vision to life.
All rights to those who own them. I claim nothing.
Author's notes
Upon beginning to read the novel again, I realized that Leon went to Cambridge as well. The previous chapter has been updated to reflect that, but nothing other than that has changed.
Sorry I'm so slow to update. I do have this story written on paper for several chapters so don't worry it will continue.
A "What if...?" Story. "What if Robbie made it home?
Love Never Dies
by
Ninja Elizabeth
Chapter 10: Home at last
Emily woke to the sound of a gentle knock on her bedroom door. She wasn't even sure she had heard it. Behind her eye mask she closed her eyes and attempted to go back to sleep. She then heard the gentle knock again. This time she angrily sat up pulling the eye mask off her face only to be blinded by the light of the early morning sun.
"Oh, for crying out loud! Who is it?" She yelled.
The door opened painfully slowly, which should have enraged her even more but instead she felt herself chuckling at a memory of years long gone when her little Cecilia would knock ever so quietly and peer into the room to see if she was all right. She was startled at the sight of not a little Cecilia peering in but a fully grown Cecilia entering the room with a breakfast tray in her hands. Not quite believing her eyes she called out to her sleeping husband awake. She had to be dreaming.
Cecilia laughed as her father groaned and resisted her mother's attempt to wake him. "Good morning, mother." she replied.
Jack yawned and stretched out looking at his wife. "What is it, Emmie?" He smelled food. He saw Cecilia standing before them. "Little Cee, did we miss breakfast or have you -gasp!- gotten up early and fixed us breakfast?"
She laughed at her father's teasing as her parents sat up to receive the breakfast tray she had prepared for each of them. "I'm early."
"Is it safe to eat?" Jack asked.
"You're still alive after the parfait I made last night aren't you?" Cecilia teased in response. "Although it might not quite be what you are used to. I'm not as proficient a cook as Betty, but I get by."
Emily was stunned at what her husband and daughter had said. "Cecilia, you made the dessert last night? When did you arrive?"
"Yes, I made the dessert as well as the chocolate mustard sauce for the steak." Cecilia replied. "I arrived late yesterday morning."
"Don't discount your skill, little one. That sauce for the steak was marvelous! And the dessert was a work of art. Betty's never made anything like that." Emily complimented.
"Well, I like dessert." She smiled. "Must have been inherited and I developed the skill to prepare it as a defense mechanism. I've never attempted something so fancy. Usually, I just make a simple cake or custard."
Emily chuckled. "At least that's one good thing you inherited from your father." she responded giving her husband a teasing glare. "How did you come up with that chocolate mustard sauce?"
Cecilia laughed. She knew what inheritance her mother was referring to. "Betty asked me to make the sauce because I had tasted it before." she continued. "Marshall came into the kitchen with the subtle suggestion that we apply his 'chocolate' to a savory application."
"Have you finally come home, Cecilia?" her mother asked with a hopeful tone. "I've missed you so much."
"Only for a visit, I'm afraid." Cecilia replied. "I'm on holiday for a week. Marjorie was very kind in letting me have the whole week off when I explained about why June 21 meant so much to me. I have to return to the hospital."
"Damn this stupid war." Emily responded. "Promise me, Cecilia, when the war is over that you will return home? I want to have at least one of my children home."
"I can't do that, mother." Cecilia answered. "I have my own life now. I enjoy being a nurse. I'm thinking of going to medical school to further my training."
Emily looked over her daughter. "What are you wearing? Are you sure you are doing okay? Your father can send you money."
Cecilia liked her dress. It was one of her favorites. She looked at her mother and smiled. She knew she was only concerned for her well being. "I'm doing fine, mother. I have no need for fancy dresses now. It feels nice to be out on my own. I know that I may not have turned out quite the way you might have liked, but I'm happy now for the most part."
"For the most part? What's missing?"
"Well, Robbie for one." Cecilia replied. She took a deep breath. "And my family. I don't want to hate all of you, but I feel like I was betrayed. What you did hurt."
Tears formed in Emily's eyes. "Cecilia, if I apologized for my actions that night, would you forgive me?"
"I don't know." Cecilia replied honestly. "I asked myself 'why' for so long."
"Everything that night was chaos. I don't know where I went wrong." Emily cried. "I wanted to give my niece and nephews a home. Something they never really had with my sister. I can use my migraines as an excuse but in truth, I failed them, I failed you."
Cecilia walked around the bed and hugged her mother. "You haven't failed me, mother. It just hurt so much that night. It seemed like you didn't care about me. You immediately took Briony's side and never listened to what I had to say. Everybody ganged up on Robbie. He was guilty before he even had a chance to defend himself and put into the police car." she replied. "And if anybody understands your migraines it's me. I know how painful they can be."
"I'm sorry, Cecilia. Do you suffer from them too?" Emily asked. "I may have lost Lola, I don't want to lose you. I've missed you so much. Can you ever forgive me?"
"I do. Sometimes the pain is so great I just want to throw up." Cecilia replied. "You haven't lost me. I'm here now. I've missed you."
"Have you really?" Emily asked accusingly. "I've seen you a few times, at the bungalow, visiting Grace. It's not a long walk down the path to the main house. You know that. You made it yesterday. If you missed us so much, why didn't you make that walk until today?"
"I was hurt. I hated all of you."
"What changed this time?" Emily asked.
"I wanted to talk to Grace. I didn't want to wait for her at the bungalow. I came to tell her that Robbie had returned from France."
"Oh? That's wonderful news! Is he coming home?"
"No. He was taken back to prison yesterday." Cecilia replied sadly.
"That still doesn't explain why you decided to stay talk to us after all these years."
"Grace urged me to talk to father, and you." she replied. "I've also talked to Briony. I'm at working St Thomas again. If I could talk to her, then it was time I talked to you and father."
"You are a Ward Sister, now, correct?"
"Yes."
"I'm so proud of you." Emily replied. "Please don't be a stranger anymore? Please come and visit us when you visit Grace?"
"On one condition. You must accept that I am in love with Robbie. I believe in his innocence and I have never wavered in my support." Cecilia responded. "If you can accept that, then I will visit."
Emily smiled. "Robbie is a nice fellow. Of course, I can accept him. Things happened so fast that evening... I don't know what I was thinking... I still don't know what to make of things that night. So will you be staying for dinner? I want you to sit next to me."
"I will mother."
Jack looked at his wife. "Emmie, dear. Eat up before you food gets too cold. It's edible." Jack smiled at his daughter who looked slightly insulted. Jack laughed. "Cecilia, did you eat?"
"Yes, I did. I'll come back later for the tray. I'll be in my room if you need me."
(-+-+-+-+-+-+-)
Briony finished her shift. She was starving. She headed to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast before getting some rest. The food was the usual slop; watery eggs, some kind of meat product, stale bread and bitter coffee to wash it all down. No wonder the nurses often spoke with excitement at the prospect of moving to a flat of their own.
Noticing Fiona sitting with a few other probationers and young nurses. Briony made her way over to her friend. They were laughing and giggling at something. They became suspiciously quiet when Briony sat down.
One of the nurses looked at Briony's name tag. "B. Tallis. Are you related to Sister Tallis?" she asked.
"Sister Tallis is my older sister." Briony answered already dreading the series of questions she was sure to follow. She already suspected what they had been laughing about and why everyone got so quiet at her arrival. She glared at Fiona.
"She seems so much more mature than you." the nurse replied.
"She's ten years older than me."
A few of those seated at the table began to snicker.
"Have you heard the rumors about your sister and Sister Drummond having an affair?" somebody asked.
Briony was angry but she tried not to show it. "Yes. And I can assure you that they are absolutely not true. My sister has a fellow."
"That doesn't mean she can't be having an affair with Sister Drummond!" someone else responded, causing the table to erupt with laughter.
"I heard that Sister Tallis hates you and refuses to speak to you. What do you know of her personal life?" Another nurse replied.
"I've talked to my sister. In fact she told me that she is engaged to be married to the man she loves." Briony replied in a pitiful attempt to repel the rumors.
"I heard that Sister Drummond and Sister Tallis were probationers together at this very hospital, and that Sister Tallis eventually was transferred." another nurse responded as though no one had heard Briony's words. "I also heard that it was Sister Drummond who personally requested for Sister Tallis to come back. Sounds like they did more than just train together if you ask me."
Everyone except Briony burst out laughing. When the laughter subsided, Briony hoped the topic had been exhausted, but she was wrong.
"Sister Drummond never seems to like anyone. She seems to be awfully close to Sister Tallis. They seem to spend a lot of time in the office!" Fiona giggled.
"Oh for Pete's Sake, Fi, it's probably just business." Briony replied.
No one listened to Briony.
Fiona continued. "I wouldn't be surprised if their relationship was slightly sadomasochistic!" she chuckled.
"Only slightly?" someone asked.
"I wonder who is the dominate one?" asked someone else.
"I'll bet they take turns!" yet another one replied.
The girls continued to laugh.
"I wonder what kind of a guy would fall in love with Sister Tallis." someone mused as the laughter began to subside.
"Moreover, does he know about her affair and sadomasochistic tendencies?" someone chuckled.
"Enough!" Briony screamed. "My sister is not into sadomasochism and she is engaged to the nicest, sweetest man I've ever meant. My sister may be stubborn but she is not a bitch. Robbie was our groundskeeper. His mother is our housekeeper."
Fiona giggled. "You forgot to mention that he was here in the hospital. He was in the Army and taken back to prison."
"Prison?" someone asked. "What is he in prison for if he's so nice?"
"He raped a fifteen year old girl!" Fiona answered. "She was Briony's cousin! Can you believe that? Ward Sister Tallis is engaged to a convicted rapist!"
Briony was fuming. She had trusted her friend with her personal information and now she was blurting it out to everyone. She was sure it would get back to her sister and it would impact her already uneasy relationship. She was certain the Ward Sisters know of the rumors spreading about them.
"Is that true, Tallis? Is Sister Tallis engaged to a rapist?"
"No. It's not true." Briony replied. It was true. Robbie was innocent. He wasn't a rapist.
"That's not what you told me, Briony." Fiona replied. "Sister Tallis is engaged to Robbie Turner. He was the private who was taken away to prison. Can you imagine being engaged to a monster like that?"
"Robbie is not a monster!" Briony responded. "He did not rape my cousin. I didn't understand what was going on. I was jealous of my sister. I lied!
The table went silent and all eyes turned to Briony. Briony didn't know what to think. One of the younger nurses turned to Briony.
"Was Robbie that Private who tried to strangle you, Tallis?" she asked.
"Yes." Briony replied dreading what would come next.
"I assisted Nurse Bennet in caring for him a few times." She replied. "He seemed like such the nicest fellow. He liked his tea with no milk, and two sugars. Very soft spoken and pleasant to talk to. Not at all like the other soldiers. He doesn't strike me as the type who would force himself on anyone."
"His father left when he was four. My father took to helping his mother with raising him and sponsored him through school. He was always helping about the house and eventually became one of our groundskeepers." Briony replied.
"Sister Tallis doesn't seem like a fool. She's a really good nurse. I like to think that I've learned a lot from her." the nurse continued. "She wouldn't give her heart to just anyone."
"My sister may be stubborn at times, but she has a kind heart. And she's not a fool."
Silence again.
Then somebody spoke causing Briony to groan.
"Rapists and other woman must be all the attention Sister Tallis can get!"
The table erupted in laughter again. Briony realized that it was hopeless to change their minds and realized just what a daunting task her sister had undertaken.
(-+-+-+-+-+-+-)
As he walked down the long corridor on the way to his room, Leon noticed the door to his older sister's room open and panicked. Had he left it open upon his last visit? He was sure he had closed it firmly when he left.
Reaching the door he heard somebody inside. Emily had declared Cecilia's room 'off limits' since her departure five years ago and no one was to go inside. He entered to scold the occupant. Before he could see who it was he was noticed first and greeted with a slap to his face.
"How dare you, Leon!" an angry Cecilia responded as Leon realized what had just happened. "Did you think I would not notice your sick and perverted invasion into my privacy?"
Leon ignored his sister's anger. "Sis-cilia! When did you arrive? It's so nice to see you!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
"Spare me the pleasantries, Leon." Cecilia replied. "Just because my room is a mess does not mean I do not know where I keep things. I know you've been in here."
"How do you know it was me? You know Briony was always going through your things." Leon responded. "I used to see her coming from your room many times before she left home."
"Briony went through my vanity, my perfumes and my jewelry, not my under garments, Leon." Cecilia replied obviously angry.
"I've missed you." Leon replied trying to change the subject. "Have you decided to come home? You know Emily misses you terribly. Are you actually cleaning? Do you need any help?"
Cecilia sighed. "No, I came to visit Grace. I decided it was time I tried to speak to mother and father." She had seen the look on her brother's face many times in the ward and had become immune to it, but on her brother, it disturbed her greatly. "I do not need your help, but thank you. Now if you will please leave. And I would appreciate it if you stay out of my room when I'm away."
Leon did not move. "I'm your brother, Cee."
"Yes, you are, and it's high time you remembered that." Cecilia responded returning her attention to her cleaning.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know damn well what it means, Leon." Cecilia snapped. "Oh, don't think I haven't seen how you look at me, the way you are looking at me right now. The only thing that is preventing me from being completely disgusted is the fact that I see that look every day on the faces of the soldiers I tend to at the hospital."
"Can't I look at you and admire you?"
"Admire? Yes. Leer? No." Cecilia replied. "And a brother should not be going through his sister's knickers. Now, I will ask you again, Leon. Please leave. I have a lot of cleaning up to do."
Leon pretended to be shocked. "Did I just hear you say you had cleaning to do? Cee, you don't have to do this. That is what we have servants for. All you have to do is ask one of them to do it."
Cecilia found hidden stash of cigarettes. She laughed at herself. She had looked everywhere for them the day she packed up to leave home five years ago. "Did I not ask you to leave, Leon?"
"Oh come on, Cee." Leon replied. "You ignored me when I waited outside the hospital for you. I know you saw me. It's been five years, Cee. Why won't you talk to me? You're home now. Isn't it time to let it go?"
Cecilia looked up from her task. "Are you still friends with Paul Marshall?"
"Yes, I am." Leon responded with a sense of pride. "You know his chocolate factory is doing quite well. The old man is quite the fool for not investing in it. And I'm sure you know that he's married our cousin Lola. You could have been his wife, Cee. Don't tell me after all these years you are still hung up on Robbie."
"I am not 'hung up on him'. I am in love with him."
"Get over him. He's not worth it." Leon replied. "I mean look at you. Have you looked at yourself? What are you wearing?"
It was the second time in a day she was asked that question. The first by her mother whom she knew was concerned about her wellbeing. Leon however was merely concerned about her image, or more to the point, his image.
"Is there something the matter with what I'm wearing?" Cecilia asked. "This happens to be one of my favorite dresses."
"Five years ago you wouldn't have been caught dead wearing something like that. What has happened to you? You should be ashamed."
"Ashamed? Of what?" Cecilia asked not believing that her brother could be so shallow. "I left home not knowing where I was going or what I was going to do. I found a good job, Leon. I have held that same job for five years and earned several promotions. I am also considering going to medical school when the war is over in order to advance even further."
Leon laughed at his sister. "Medical school? Are you mad? You can't even afford decent clothes! How are you going to afford going to medical school?"
"The hospital is going to sponsor me. The hospital administration chose several nurses and field doctors who wish to further their careers." Cecilia replied. "I'm sorry that I haven't kept up with the latest fashions but I have better things to do with my time. And I prefer to live on my own and not leech off my friends so I can't really afford them if I wanted to."
Don't tell me you are actually happy and satisfied with the way you are living, Cee." Leon responded. "Look at all you've given up. Come live with me. My flat is probably ten times bigger than where ever you are living. I'll reintroduce you into society and you won't have to worry about money. I'll buy you some new clothes."
"No thank you." Cecilia replied. "As hard as it may be to believe. I am actually happy with my life. My flat may not be much bigger than my bedroom here, but it's mine."
"Is it as messy?" Leon teased.
"That is none of your concern." Cecilia snapped.
"Surely there must be something you miss with your simple life. Don't tell me there isn't."
"Yes, there are things I miss, but I've learned to live without them." Cecilia replied. "I've learned to appreciate what I do have and find joy in the more simple things. I have no need for fancy things."
"Simpler, you mean cheap." Leon replied. "Cee, what's gotten into you? Let me help you. You don't have to be ashamed. I can loan you money."
Cecilia laughed. "Listen to yourself. If you think that I can't afford decent clothes, how the hell do you think I'm going to be able to pay off a loan?"
"Fine. I'll give you the money then."
"I don't need a hand out. The clothes I have suit my needs. I have no need for fancy dresses. I don't go out to dinner parties or social gatherings." Cecilia replied.
"You need to go out more. Allow me to take you out. I can introduce you to many a fine gentleman in high society. Perhaps you will even find a candidate for a husband."
"I don't have time for socializing. When I get home I'm usually only up for a hot bath and perhaps a little reading before bed." Cecilia replied. "I often work double, sometimes triple shifts at the hospital."
"Call out sick one night, Cee, and I will treat you out to a night on the town." Leon responded determined to not give up. "You are never going to find yourself a husband dressed like that and constantly working. Let me take you shopping and introduce you to some of my friends."
"Are they anything like Paul Marshall?" Cecilia asked.
"Well, not as successful or rich, but definitely ones to be considered a fine catch."
"If they are anything like him, even in the slightest, I will have to decline."
"And what is wrong with Paul Marshall? He's rich, successful, and incredibly handsome."
"So you say, Leon. He is not handsome in my book. He's also pompous, conceited and obnoxious. And if he's so rich, the least he can do is hire a decent barber to clip his nose hair."
"Cecilia, you are going to have to make some sacrifices if you intend to find yourself a decent husband. And if you don't mind me saying, it's you who is sounding pompous and conceited."
"Why? For stating the obvious? I don't know why your friend thinks it's attractive to have hair coming out of his nose and ears. I said it before. It looks like pubic hair. I don't want to be a trophy wife, Leon. I want someone who will love me for who I and let me be." Cecilia took note of her brother not only using her full name as well as pronouncing it properly.
Leon laughed. "Good luck finding someone like that, Cee. You aren't getting any younger. Lola was smart to take advantage of her opportunity to snag Paul. Think of how happy it would have made father if you married Paul Marshall? Wife of the chocolate millionaire?"
"Don't even get me started on what I think of our cousin Lola," Cecilia responded. "To not having the courage to testify in the trial is one thing but to marry the man who may have violated her is just plain stupid."
"Wait a minute. Are implying that it was Paul who raped her that night?" Leon exclaimed. "Cecilia, you know it was Robbie. Briony said so."
"And you believed her?" Cecilia asked. "I know Robbie did not do it. And Briony has recanted her testimony. She saw who did it, and it was not Robbie."
"How can you be so sure she isn't lying to you now? You know how close she is to you." Leon responded.
"To be honest, I don't know." Cecilia replied. "I do know however that Robbie didn't do it."
"Wake up, Cee. Robbie is in prison. You were there every day of the trial. Did you not hear all the evidence against him?" Leon asked.
"What I heard, Leon, was statements of events that were made to lead one to conclude that Robbie was guilty, no actual facts other than the words of a jealous thirteen year old who by witnessing something that day suddenly decided that she was more mature than she actually was." Cecilia responded.
Leon laughed. "You're grasping at straws."
"Am I?" Cecilia asked. "The girl he forced to remove her clothing and jump into the fountain. Where was she to testify? The girl he attacked in the library. Where was she? Surely the case against Robbie would have left absolutely no doubt and only strengthened an already strong case had they had testimony from them don't you think? Don't you think they would have wanted the strongest case possible to assure a conviction?"
"They obviously didn't need them. Robbie was found guilty." Leon replied.
"It wasn't that they didn't need them. It was more of the case that she would have jeopardized the case against him." Cecilia replied. "The girl by the fountain would have told them that she was being stubborn. She removed her clothes on her own and jumped into the fountain to retrieve the broken piece of the vase they had so foolishly broken only moments before with a ridiculous tug of war. Why? She had no clue. As for the girl in the library? She led him into the darkened room. She confessed her love for him and gave herself to him willingly. There was nothing he did that she did not want him to do."
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."
"It's not ridiculous, Leon, because it's the truth. Who the hell do you think the girl was?" Cecilia asked.
"Oh come on, you can't be serious." Leon replied. "If that's true, why didn't you protest? Why didn't you speak up?"
"I did, but no one would hear any of it." Cecilia cried. "As soon as Briony said she saw him, no one wanted to believe anything else. No one wanted to listen to me. Robbie was guilty before he ever had a chance to defend himself."
"All right how do you explain that letter he wrote to Briony?" Leon asked.
"He didn't write the letter to Briony. He wrote it to me!" Cecilia responded. "It was not the version he meant to give to me. She had no business opening it regardless."
"But why give the letter to Briony? And for that matter, why did he have to write you a letter?"
"Because you're an idiot and invited him to dinner." Cecilia replied. "Being a gentleman he felt the need to apologize for his foolish behavior at the fountain. You wouldn't understand. I have the draft he meant to send in my flat. It's quite different and handwritten, signed simply 'Robbie'. I'm sure there are several rejected versions, and the letter he sent by mistake was written out of frustration of not being able to say what he wanted to say, and in the process typed exactly what was on his mind."
"And how would you know what he was thinking that day, Cee? He could have been thinking something far more violent. I think you're giving him far too much credit."
"And I think you're not giving him enough. Have you ever known Robbie to be violent or forceful?" Cecilia asked. "I can only speculate based on my own feelings that day. He was luck he had that one and only suit. As for myself? I must have tried one at least a half dozen dresses, some twice before I settled on the green halter gown I wore."
Leon laughed. "Robbie is in prison now so you need to move on. He's no good for you anyway. He's the housekeeper's son. Let me find you a good husband. There's still time. I think I can find a gentleman who can forgive you for your foolishness. You need someone to take care of you before you die an old maid."
"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much." Cecilia replied feeling insulted. "And I do not need your assistance in finding a husband. I am happily engaged."
Leon's eyes lit up. "Really?" he asked filled with renewed excitement which Cecilia knew would be short lived. "How did you meet him? Why didn't you say do in the first place? How much money does he have? Is he a doctor? Have you seen the size of the ring Paul gave Lola? How come you aren't wearing a ring? Does it interfere with your work?"
Cecilia remained perfectly calm. Her years working in the hospital helped with that. Inside she was laughing. "He's a soldier." It wasn't completely a lie. He had been a soldier before being taken back to prison. "There wasn't time for a ring, so he gave me these. She pulled out the ID tags she now wore around her neck. She didn't quite trust Leon to give them back if she took them off.
"Isn't he going to need these? Where is he stationed?" Leon asked before reading the name on the tags. Turner, Robert Ernest. He laughed out loud. "Cee, this is a joke, right? You can't possibly be engaged to Robbie."
Angrily, Cecilia snatched the ID tags from her brother's hand and tucked them away hidden from view. "It's not a joke. Robbie asked me to marry him before he was taken away to prison and I said yes."
"You can't marry him!"
"Why not?"
"He has no money. He has no status. He's the housekeeper's son for Pete's sake."
"I don't care about money and status anymore." Cecilia replied with confidence. "I love him, Leon, and he loves me. And I am going to marry him."
"Does the old man know? Has he asked him for permission?" Leon asked.
"Yes, father knows and has given his approval for us to be married." Cecilia responded as she pushed Leon out of her room. "Now get out."
As she shoved her brother out her mother entered appearing quite flustered. She turned and looked briefly at her son then turned back to Cecilia. "Cecilia! Why didn't you tell me you and Robbie are engaged! Oh my goodness! I am going to have to ask Betty to prepare a special dinner for tonight. She's going to kill me!" With that said, Emily was gone. Cecilia laughed.
(-+-+-+-+-+-+)
After a nice simple lunch with her mother and father, Cecilia made her way to the kitchen to see if she could be of some help. She didn't want to be of any burden to Betty.
"What are you doing here?" Betty asked seeing her enter.
"I've come to see if you need any help." Cecilia replied.
"You can't help." Betty responded.
Cecilia laughed. "Betty, didn't we go through this routine already?"
Betty chuckled. "Yes, we did, but this time I'm not going to let you talk me into allowing you to help."
"Did I do something wrong?" Cecilia asked a bit worried.
"Oh, no. You did nothing wrong. This is your engagement dinner. I'm not going to allow you to help with that. Grace and I have something planned. It's nothing special, but it is something you and Robbie both will like."
"Okay. But, Betty, I want you to enjoy yourself too. I want you to make something special for yourself. You won't be at the table with us, but I want you a part of the celebration as well." Cecilia replied. "This is for Robbie and me. You've been a part of our lives."
"Yes, ma'am," Betty replied. "Congratulations."
"Thank you." Cecilia replied. "I really don't want you to go to any trouble for me tonight. The Marshall's already made you prepare a special luncheon for them."
Grace snickered. "We are preparing the left over stew. I thought it appropriate seeing how much you and Robbie enjoyed the stew the next day. And my dinner rolls. For dessert, oatmeal pancakes with chocolate sauce."
"The kind from the jar we used to drizzle over everything?" Cecilia asked excitedly. "Mother would get so disgusted when I would drizzle it over celery sticks."
Betty laughed. "Oh goodness! I had forgotten about that." She replied. "I can't believe you liked that."
Cecilia smiled. "I supposed I'm going to have to learn how to prepare pancakes and oatmeal for Robbie if I am to be his wife."
"I will be happy to teach you." Grace replied. "You don't think your parents will mind having left over stew for dinner?"
"My parents will understand the gesture and meaning behind the food. It's perfect." Cecilia chuckled. "The same cannot be said for the Marshalls or my brother for that matter. Beef stew, let alone left over beef stew is probably beneath them."
"You don't have to invite the Marshalls. They may be visitors, but this is your dinner. You don't have to extend the invitation to them. You have every right to exclude them." Betty replied.
Cecilia sighed. "I know, but his wife is my cousin. Paul Marshall really makes me sick. Since leaving home, I've come to dislike his type. But that would also mean you would have to make a special dinner for them and I don't want that. Not to mention I want to see the look on their faces when you serve beef stew. It's going to be lovely with the bottle of wine my father is going to unveil."
Betty laughed.
"Oh, you can even save some trouble by serving it from the big pot!" Cecilia responded. "I'd ask you to have everyone serve ourselves, but Robbie and I were never allowed to. I remember getting so excited when you brought the big pot of stew to the table."
"Of course, honey. That makes it much easier. I don't have to transfer it and it will be much hotter coming right off the stove. I will put the rolls and other dishes on platters in the center of the table for you to pass around. I'm sure Marshall will appreciate that as well."
Cecilia laughed.
"Now, Little Cee, get out of my kitchen. I have work to do."
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Having been kicked out of the kitchen and having her fill of cleaning for one day, Cecilia decided to go outside. She made her way to the terrace steps where she had found Robbie sitting rolling a cigarette that fateful day and took a seat. She took a cigarette from one of the packs she had found stashed in her room. As she lit it she laughed at herself turning toward the fountain. Taking a long drag she clutched the ID tags from underneath her dress. She was glad their foolishness was behind them, but she longed for them to be together.
The gardens didn't look quite the same. They were not kept up the way they once were when Robbie took care of them. Robbie enjoyed working in the gardens. He took care with the flowers. He knew she loved flowers and always made sure there were different kinds so that there were blossoms year round. He liked digging in the dirt. Whether it be to plant seeds and bulbs or for worms to use as bait she remembered him always happy digging in the dirt when they were younger. It did not change as he got older. It had surprised and hurt when he had decided to continue his education to become a doctor. Her surprise was that he did not choose to learn more a landscaping or planting. It hurt that she felt that he was distancing himself and trying to become something he was not to try and impress her. She had tried to tell herself that she was happy but it didn't work. She didn't really blame him for not knowing how she felt. She ignored him at Cambridge. She had stopped kicking herself long ago for her foolishness.
Her thoughts turned to that day in the library when they were interrupted by the sound of heeled shoes on pavement approaching her. She took a deep breath. Lola.
"Do you have a cigarette, Cee?" her cousin asked.
"No." Cecilia responded without turning around. She took a puff. She had a fresh pack in her pocket but she felt like being stingy. Besides, two could play the ridiculous game of 'status'. She had been there and realized just how ridiculous it was. She knew that the only reason Lola was even talking to her was because their mothers were sisters making them cousins. "And my name is Cecilia. Only those close to my heart may call me Cee."
"I'm not a child anymore, Cecilia." Lola responded putting emphasis on 'child' and 'Cecilia'.
Cecilia heard her attempt to sound 'sophisticated' in her tone. She wondered, did she sound like that?
"I'm twenty years old now, you know." Lola added.
"Fancy that. That makes me twenty-eight." Cecilia replied dryly as she continued to puff on her cigarette.
"You could at least show me some courtesy by looking at me and offering me a cigarette." Lola replied.
Cecilia turned around to look at her cousin. Her dress probably cost her or that is to say her husband far more than she could have ever afforded in her 'rich snob' years. "Why? That would have deprived me the pleasure of making you ask for one only to have me answer 'no'." Cecilia replied.
Lola made several attempts to sit down in a lady-like fashion, finally making it down beside Cecilia having failed miserably.
Cecilia tried not to chuckle.
"Do you have a cigarette, now?" Lola asked.
"No." came the reply again. "Mother always scolded you about asking for cigarettes from me or Robbie."
"I'm not a child."
"Yes. You said that. You are twenty years old, but you are still the niece of Emily Tallis. Nothing will change that. Mother still hates that I smoke, so my answer is still no."
"You're being a snob."
"Touché. I am, but only to you." Cecilia replied. "Let me make something perfectly clear, Lola. I have never liked you. You have always thought that you were better than us, and now that you are married to a rich man, you are even worse. We may be cousins, but that is all. I am not the person I was five years ago, but I have always been stubborn and done as I pleased. Things have changed with me. I've seen how the 'lower class' lives. I am not going to act a certain way to somebody just because they are of a higher class than me. Perhaps, if your first words were, 'hello, Cee, may I have a cigarette?' I might have given you one. But no. You asked me the question as though you expected me just turn around and offer you one just because you are Lola Marshall."
"You brought your lowly status upon yourself, Cecilia. Don't take out your resentment out on me or my husband." Lola replied. "You could have had my life, but no. You chose to live your life defending and loving your housekeeper's son who was convicted and sent to prison for rape."
"Your rape, Lola. You talk of the crime as though it was someone else." Cecilia replied.
"It's not my fault your poor." Lola responded.
"Just because I don't have as much money as you, does not make me poor." Cecilia responded noticing how her cousin was avoiding the issue of her attack. "I may not be able to go out and spend my money on the latest fashions but I'm not poor. What I buy now suits my needs. I am happy. I have a fiancé who loves me dearly and I love him. Can you sit there and tell me that you truly love your husband?"
"People do not always marry for love." Lola replied.
"No, they certainly do not. I guess I'm fortunate then."
"Do you honestly believe that Robbie is going to get out and that the two of you will be married?" Lola asked.
"In my heart, yes, but I also know that the reality of the situation is that he may never get out. That does not mean that I'm not going to give up hope. I'll marry Robbie in prison if they will allow it."
"How can you marry someone with no money?"
"Money isn't everything. He makes me happy. Can you buy that with your husband's money, Lola?" Cecilia asked. "I once thought as you do and it nearly cost me everything that I truly loved. It was a decision that did actually cost me dearly but I have made amends with that part and I am truly happy once again. I am in love with Robbie Turner, the housekeeper's son. There is no shame in that. I have given myself to the man I love with all my heart. Can you say the same? Or I should ask, since you did not marry out of love, have you given yourself willingly out of a sense of duty?"
With that, Cecilia stood up and walked toward the fountain leaving Lola alone to ponder her cousin's words.
(-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-)
The Tallis family, with the addition of Emily's niece and her husband and Grace Turner, sat at the dining room table. Emily Tallis sat at one end, beside her one her right was her eldest daughter, Cecilia and to her left and empty chair, then her daughter's future mother-in-law and beloved housekeeper, Grace. She smiled proudly at her husband sitting at the head of the table.
Jack Tallis smiled at his wife. At his right was his son Leon. To his left were Paul Marshall and his wife, Lola. There was a table setting next to Cecilia for his youngest daughter Briony and a setting for Robbie across from Cecilia.
Grace looked at Cecilia. She could not help chuckle inside and forgave her for having the Marshalls at the table. She could understand her not wanting to trouble Betty into making a special dinner for them but what about her? It was her son who wasn't present because of them. The look of disgust that crossed their faces as she took her seat at the table was priceless.
Betty entered the dining room and approached Jack with the bottle of wine she had been asked to retrieve from the wine cellar.
"Thank you, Betty. Fetch yourself a glass so that you may join us in the toast. You have been a part of Robbie and Cecilia's lives as much as we have." Jack replied turning to his son as Betty left to get a glass for herself. "Leon, will you do me the honor of opening the bottle?"
Leon took the bottle and gave it a good look. He gasped. He was no wine expert, but he knew that the bottle in his hand was no ordinary bottle of wine. "Father, you can't seriously be thinking of opening this for such an occasion as this?"
"And why not?" Jack asked as Betty returned.
"Have you any idea how much this would be worth?" Leon asked.
"I have no idea and I do not care. I bought it for just this occasion." Jack responded. "Now, please. Open it so that we may toast Robbie and Cecilia."
Paul Marshall cleared his throat. "I fancy myself a bit of a wine connoisseur, mind if I take a look at the bottle?"
Leon handed his friend the bottle. Cecilia groaned. Her mother shot her a look.
Marshall took the bottle and gave it a look. "Most impressive, Jack. I must commend you on your impeccable taste. A Bordeaux. 1912. A fine vintage. We must find some time to sit down and discuss wine."
"Oh, shut up!" Cecilia exclaimed. This was her night. While she thought it would be funny to have them sit at the table for a quaint family dinner in hers and Robbie's honor to celebrate her engagement, she was not about to let Marshall ruin it by his need to impress. She knew it was not the wisest thing to insult the man but she felt that he had to be put in his place. She was certain Robbie would forgive her and perhaps find it funny. "If you truly know as much as you think you do, they you will know that this wine was one of the best Bordeaux produced in the year 1912 which was not the best years for vintage wines. The Bordeaux's were of good quality at best. I learned this when my friends took me out to dinner for my 25th birthday. They wanted to buy a fine Bordeaux and were told of its average vintage. Father bought this wine in 1912; do you know the significance of that year, Mr. Marshall?"
"It was a fine year to remember. 12 January, Robert F Scott reaches the South Pole; 10 April, the RMS Titanic sets out on her maiden voyage; 13 April, the British Royal Flying Corps are created by the Royal Charter." Marshall responded with a bit pride in his voice.
"You have neglected to mention the event with the most significance." Cecilia replied earning a glare from her brother.
Marshall was taken aback. "I did? Surely you cannot discount the significance of the formation of the Royal Air Force. It is those chaps that we owe our very lives to."
"We, Mr. Marshall, owe our lives to all of the Armed Forces, not just the Air Force, and not just our own." She replied. "However, the event in 1912 which holds the most significance and was for which my father purchased this bottle was 26 March. Jack and Emily Tallis welcome their second child, Cecilia Emily into the world. So you see, there is nothing truly 'special' about this wine, other than my father bought it the year I was born to celebrate some accomplishment in my life."
Emily raised her hand to cover her mouth so that no one would see her chuckle.
"That was uncalled for, Cee." Leon scolded taking the bottle back from his friend.
"Was it? I'm so sorry." Cecilia responded. "But what I've stated it true, Leon. 1912 was not a good year for vintage wines. Just open the bottle like father asked you to do."
Jack smiled at his daughter. He should have scolded her, but he could not bring himself to do so. He remembered buying the bottles twenty-eight years ago from the same vintner two years before. He remembered his purchase two years before, quite a good year, and told him that it was not a good year but the Bordeaux was good. He felt a bit sorry for his youngest. 1922 was a very poor year but there were two bottles in the cellar for her as well, nonetheless.
Leon opened the bottle and began to serve the wine, starting with Paul then Lola. Cecilia did not look at him as he poured her glass followed by their mother's, Grace, his own and then their father's. Cecilia wasn't sure if he did it out of spite, or if he was merely going around the table. What he should have done, was pour hers first, as she and the absent Robbie were the guests of honor; then their father, mother, and Grace; then himself; and finally Paul and Lola.
Taking the bottle from his son, Jack asked him to take his seat as he stood up and poured a glass for Betty. He then turned and addressed everyone. "This is a day that I both dreaded and yet rejoice. I never wanted to give my little Cee away, but I can see no fault in giving her to a young man who I have had the pleasure of knowing his entire life, nor sharing her with a woman who has served us loyally all these years. Grace, you know as well as I do of Cecilia's stubbornness and I am sure you are happy that she has finally seen the light as to what was right in front of her. When Ernest left, how could I not keep you on my staff and do what I could to help raise your son. When he came of age he made himself a valued member of my staff. My eldest daughter and your son make a fine couple and will be happy for years to come. And I am sure you will agree that they will produce the most adorable grandchildren." Jack paused to make sure he did not upset his daughter. He was relieved to see her blushing and continued. "I could ask for a finer man for my little Cee. Tonight, we toast, your son Grace, Robert Ernest, and mine and Emily's daughter, Cecilia Emily, and celebrate their engagement."
Everyone raised their glasses. Grace then stood up. "May I say a few words?"
"Of course! By all means, Grace." Jack replied taking his seat.
Grace turned and looked at Cecilia. Lola's look of disbelief did not go unnoticed by Grace, not did her husband's slight look of disgust. "Cecilia, I have known you since the day you were born. As your father has already stated you are stubborn, but you have a loving and caring side which you allow very few to see. I feel privileged that I can count myself among one of them. I cannot think of a nicer young lady for my little boy to fall in love with. Your devotion to me and Robbie these past five years touches me greatly. He is very blessed to have your love as I am to be welcoming you into my family."
"That was lovely, Grace. Thank you." Jack replied turning to Betty. "You may bring out the food now if it's ready."
Betty grinned and looked at Grace who tried not to snicker. Cecilia rolled her eyes almost dreading what the two ladies had planned.
Paul Marshall cleared his throat and Jack and Cecilia looked at him.
"May I say a few words while we are waiting?" He asked.
"No, you may not!" Cecilia snapped before her father could respond.
Marshall turned to Cecilia. "My, my. Such words! Did no one teach you manners and how to behave to a gentleman?" He taunted. "It would do you good to hold your tongue, young lady and know your place. If you were more of a lady your finance would not be locked up in prison."
"It is you, Mr. Marshall who should hold one's tongue and know your place." Cecilia replied. "This is my engagement dinner and the only reason you are seated here at the table is because I do not wish to burden Betty with having to prepare a separate dinner for you and your wife. Lola is seated here because she is my cousin. It would be rude of me to exclude you as her husband. Do not tell me to know my place."
Marshall feigned being offended and turned to Jack. "Jack, are you going to allow your daughter to speak to me like that?"
"One thing about Little Cee. She can be quite stubborn." Jack defended. "However, in this matter, Mr. Marshall, I believe she is right to speak up in this matter. For too long she has been distant from us, her family, and-"
Jack stopped midsentence and turned to Betty. Everybody had turned as the head of the kitchen entered the dining room pushing a squeaky dinner cart filled with the food to be served. A big steaming pot was on the first shelf. She bowed humbly as she began to place the food on the table; a couple of baskets of bread rolls, on for each side, a butter dish and knife for each basket, and lastly two platters of seasoned steamed green beans. She placed on in front of Jack, and the other in front of Cecilia who looked up at her then Grace, and made a face of disgust. Emily laughed at her daughter, fully appreciating what Grace and Betty had done on such short notice to make the dinner special for Robbie and Cecilia.
Next, Betty pushed the squeaky cart around the table and served the beef stew, starting with Cecilia and Grace, and lastly Lola and Paul Marshall. When Betty and her squeaky cart left the room, Jack, Emily, Cecilia and Grace were snickering. Leon, Lola, and Paul did not know what to make of things.
Cecilia reached for the dinner rolls and took a couple for herself and probably way too much butter. Everybody followed suit by reaching for and passing the plates around the table. Lola and Paul seemed almost horrified. Cecilia reached for the platter of green beans and passed it to her mother. Emily took some for herself offering them to Grace. She then placed a couple on her daughter's plate. Cecilia took the beans and put them on her mother's plate.
"Cecilia!" Emily responded.
"I'm twenty-eight, mother, not eight. You cannot make me eat those." She replied.
Emily laughed. "You are acting like you are eight, young lady." She teased. "Do you still hate them?"
"Yes."
Grace laughed. "This was not part of my plan. Robbie hates them almost as much as Cee." She replied. "Betty once chopped some up and put them in the stew and poor Robbie sat there eating crying the whole time because he knew if he did not finish his stew I would not make him desert."
"Cecilia didn't get desert if she didn't eat her beans either." Emily responded.
Cecilia grinned and turned to her father who buried his head in his hands as she turned back to her mother. "Father would come to my room later and give me desert or a cup of chocolate."
"Jack!"
Jack laughed at his wife.
A few moments later Betty entered again and asked if anybody wanted seconds. Cecilia raised her hand. Betty pushed the cart toward Cecilia.
"Oh for heaven's sake, Betty! Must you use that cart?" Emily asked.
Betty was pouring more stew into Cecilia's bowl. "I'm sorry. It is the only push cart I have that is low enough to put this pot on to serve. Would you like more stew?"
Emily shook her head. "We will have to get a new cart by the time Robbie comes home. And I would love more stew."
After the second helping of stew everyone pretty much had their fill. Everyone, except Cecilia, enjoyed the beans.
Much to the horror of her mother, Cecilia with a chuckle put her spoon down and lifted her bowl to her face proceeding to lick her bowl clean. "Cecilia!"
Grace laughed. "Remember when Robbie did that with a bowl of tomato soup and nearly half of it ended up on his shirt?"
Cecilia put her clean bowl down. "I do! I was still the 'proper little girl' when I ate with him then." She laughed as Grace lifted her own bowl to her face to lick it clean. Cecilia then noticed it, on her plate: a bean! "Mother!"
"One bean, Cecilia. It's not going to kill you. It's good for you."
"Then you eat it." She replied putting it back on her mother's plate. She made a pouting face. "I still get desert, right?"
"Yes. You get desert." Emily replied shaking her head. "Honestly, have you ever tried them? I've never see you even try them. How do you know that you do not like them?"
"I've tried them." She replied. "Marjorie prepared them for me when she invited me to her flat for dinner. I've tried them at a fine restaurant. And I even prepared them myself once when they were the only green vegetable available. And I hated them every time."
Grace turned to the table. "If everybody has saved some room for desert, I will prepare one of my son's favorites," she turned to Jack. "If I may be excused, sir?"
"Of course." Jack responded.
"Your Besty is a stupendous cook. You are quite fortunate." Marshall replied. "I simply cannot wait to see what she has in store for desert. That simple beef stew was quite a surprise. Who knew peasant food could taste so wonderful."
Cecilia swallowed to hold her tongue. Her mother noticed and placed a loving hand on her daughter's knee. Jack said nothing. He was anticipating desert, hoping that Robbie liked chocolate.
A few moments later, Grace and Betty emerged, pushing a different cart. Servings of oatmeal pancakes with chocolate sauce and an oatmeal brown sugar crumble on top. Grace served Cecilia and then took her seat to allow Betty to serve her and the others.
"Grace, this is wonderfully simple but delicious. You should make this more often." Leon replied. "Do something different for the pancakes or toppings perhaps?"
"Thank you, Leon. This is one of Robbie's favorites." Grace replied turning to Cecilia. "Do you know how to make pancakes, Cee?"
Cecilia had just placed a rather large fork full of pancake into her mouth and was caught off guard by Grace's question. She shook her head as she swallowed. "No, I do not. Don't think they would come out right with egg powder. I can't keep fresh eggs. The ice box in my flat is not the best at keeping things cold, and I can never tell what my schedule is. I don't chance trying to keep something like eggs. I guess I will have to learn now won't I? This and oatmeal."
Lola looked at her cousin. "Why on Earth would you want to prepare oatmeal?"
"Because my fiancé loves oatmeal. I intend to cook for him." Cecilia replied.
"Just have your cook prepare it. That is their job." She replied.
"Robbie and I will probably not be able to afford a cook and besides, I want to cook for my husband. I prepare my own meals for myself at my flat. I quite enjoy it, fending for myself. You should try it sometime."
Marshall was the first to finish. "Again, Jack, your staff must be commended." He replied. "This was simply stupendous! I never would have imagined again, how something so simple could possibly be so delicious. Grace, I assume you used my chocolate for the sauce?"
Grace looked at Marshall. "No, sir, I did not. It came from a jar." She replied finding a bit of pleasure in telling the pompous man that the chocolate that he had just enjoyed so much was not only not his but came from a jar.
"Goodness gracious! Why on Earth use jarred chocolate sauce when you have all that wonderful chocolate I donated yesterday?" he asked.
"Because this desert was for my absent son. He loved this chocolate sauce. He would put it on everything and I do mean everything."
Cecilia laughed. She put it on things too when she ate with Robbie. "Say, I wonder if it would make green beans tasty?"
"There are still some beans left. Would you like to try it now?"
Everyone was horrified at Cecilia's suggestion and prayed she said no. Cecilia laughed. "Um, I don't think so, Grace, but thank you. Thank you for everything."