Chapter 9: The End of the Dream
"I'm well aware of my position. But it won't stop me from confronting you."
"You know that you can tell me everything, right? They're rude and they're not treating you well? The big guy with a giant sword doesn't like you?" Ilya clung to Berserker and kept stroking his hair with no sign of fear. She glanced over her shoulder at the unexpected audience. Almost all inhabitants of Tohsaka residence were watching her from a safe distance. "What are you looking at?"
Saber and Rin were visibly nervous and somehow jealous, Arturia even seemed ready to rush to rescue the girl at any moment. Ruler and Scáthach, on the other hand, were only smiling at the view. It was obvious that Ilya was totally safe in Berserker's arms.
At first the mad Servant seemed to be surprised by this unexpected visit, maybe even embarrassed, but soon he gave up completely to Ilya's innocent charm. His patience was truly admirable. The girl even managed to feed him with her favorites fruit jellies.
"Such a perfect older brother," Jeanne said quietly with a sad smile, remembering some flashbacks from her Servant's past.
"The most important thing right now is the fact, that she has an actual interaction with him," Scáthach said, practical as usual, but her expression was softer than before. "It's a good sign. With her help we may be able to fix him completely."
"You mean the one of them or both?"
"We'll see."
"Maybe you want to be my Servant?" – Ilya asked with a very serious expression and Berserker reacted with… a honest laugh. "Hey, don't laugh at me. I can provide enough mana for at least three Servants, Berserkers or not. What's with this gaze? Of course I'm the strongest Master!"
When the mad Servant stopped laughing, Ilya asked him to lower his head. He obeyed and she whispered something in his ear.
"Let's go back inside, all of you!" - Scáthach ordered, grabbing Rin's and Saber's shirts and pulling both women back to the house. Ruler helped her a little, by silencing angry Tohsaka. "Give them some privacy, for gods sake!"
Behind them the white-haired girl reached out her small hand and gently wiped the single tear from Berserker's cheek.
"Hey, Grani, you remember the good old days? The time when birdsongs had no meaning for us and dragons seemed to exist only in legends," Siegfried said with a nostalgic smile. He was rubbing and scratching his horse behind his ears, holding a blade of grass in his mouth. "We used to ride through the forests with no purpose, to our hearts' content."
But after tasting the blood of Fafnir, he started to understand the language of birds and this ability returned to him just now. Rin must have improved as a magus last days, to bring back some of his old skills. Siegfried wondered if his Master knows how strong she already is. After all, she managed to break a spell casted by the powerful witch, who was using magic almost at will, like some legendary creatures from ancient times.
Rider sighed, thinking of Tohsaka. It was the first time she sent him on patrol alone, with an order to find Kotomine's hideout. She was obviously needed at home, to prepare and perform the rituals planned by Scáthach, and he would be only a bother to them, but… It was hard for him to resist the impression that he was simply thrown out of the mansion. Just kicked out, like a trash, with no further use.
He felt like losing something important. Although it was a wrong and shameful feeling for a hero like him, he just did not want Berserker to be nearby, especially in a less insane state. It would be the end of the beautiful dream he had about Rin and the Grail…
What was he thinking anyway? This is not a second chance, not even a life. He was here only to follow orders, to grant wishes. Just like when he was alive.
Sooner or later, we all have to wake up.
He closed his eyes, focusing on the surroundings. The night birds were singing about some strange shadows, which were gathering around Mount Enzou. This was the place he should check as soon as possible, but first…
"Huh? At the bridge?" A strange, powerful aura was coming from the bridge, and it was impossible to confuse this Servant with any other. This sudden blast of mana was clearly an invitation.
Siegfried was just standing for a while, gently stroking the neck of his horse, not sure if he should react. Rin ordered him to be careful and challenging the most powerful Servant in this war head on, without any plan or support, had nothing in common with 'being careful', to be honest.
But staying here, avoiding danger, was against Siegfried's nature, and it was better to not have Rin's assistance. He could go all out at last, if necessary. And an Archer class Servant, who placed himself on such a perfect observatory point, could just blow Rider away right now, so killing him was clearly not what he intended to do.
"What does he want? Well, we'll see." He mounted the horse and laughed, thinking how the class container affected his decisions. As a Saber he would never do something so reckless, but a Rider class was certainly made of fearless adventures. Actually, he was glad that he managed to qualify. "Come, my friend. Another dragon awaits us. A golden one."
Grani's hooves clattered on asphalt, when the stallion galloped willingly toward the bridge, knowing no fear, just like his master.
"Are you sure that just giving him to me will not be a better option?" - Ilya asked, sitting by the table and slowly sipping hot chocolate. "This is good." She looked over her shoulder at Berserker, who was standing near the window with his arms crossed. Now it was obvious that the only reason, why he avoided entering the house, was the presence of Rider inside. "You want some?"
He needed a while to react, but shook his head eventually and focused on observing the surroundings through the open window.
Rin swallowed a portion of her drink and stared blankly at the table. This pose, this place… It used to be Archer's favorite spot, especially when they discussed their tactics. She just couldn't stand the view.
"The point is not simply in being a Master to a draining and partially insane Servant" - Scáthach explained calmly - "but in gaining as much control over his powers as we can."
"I agree," Saber added with an unusual passion. She just did not want to share her dear Master with anyone, especially with a guy, who challenged her three times already and did not let her win even once.
"But messing with his circuits is dangerous." Ilya was nervously tapping her fingers on the table. "He might lose even more abilities and sanity. We must treat both personalities…"
"Persons," Jeanne corrected mechanically. She was staring at the window, just like Berserker, sensing the presence of two Servants outside.
"…equally to achieve a satisfactory result. And be careful to not activate his Noble Phantasm by accident."
"Well, that would be troublesome, indeed." Scáthach smiled, although not with a true joy. "We must try anyway. But we should prepare him first as much as we can."
"I'm afraid we have not enough time. He's already calm enough." Ilya smiled to the mad Servant. "You will do your best, right?"
Berserker nodded slowly, a little tensed or maybe just worried. After all, they were discussing his uncertain future here… The sole fact, that he trusted them so much, was admirable.
"So, correct me, if I'm wrong…" Rin decided to join the conversation at last. "Basically, we are going to perform a totally improvised ritual – let's call it 'an alteration of the soul' – and taking a risk of making things worse, even to the point of blowing the city up?"
"Exactly," Scáthach and Ilya replied as one and exchanged suspicious gazes. Ruler could sense a declaration of the upcoming rivalry between the two.
"Ok," Rin seemed to be strangely satisfied with their explanation. "I'll better go to the basement and prepare the circle."
Lancer was observing Tohsaka mansion from the nearest roof. He was lying there almost all day, trying to decide if joining the others inside was really a good idea, when he noticed a suspicious movement in the shadows.
The female Servant with a long, purple hair, specialized in surprise attacks… It was actually an accident, that he managed to spot her when she did not want to be seen.
This eye cover… What kind of Mystic Eyes she could possess? He was well trained in hunting monsters and he could feel a strong bloodsucking aura around her. So a charm spell, huh? It would definitely fit such a psychopathic vampire lady. But I should use some more protection runes, just in case…
Soon Cú Chulainn stood up and grabbed his spear. Assassin was a bonus, not his main target. But he's already promised her to taste Gáe Bolg, right? And he was good at keeping this kind of promises.
"Oh my, so many people gathered to observe this residence," he said loud enough to draw the enemy's attention, and jumped to the street. "We should set the order or something, it's getting really crowded here."
Assassin did not look surprised when she slowly turned around to face him.
"I must admit that I didn't expect you to be here." Her voice was emotionless, just like her usual expression. "So you're a Tohsaka's guard dog now?"
The smile he gave her was not very kind and it really reminded of an angry dog's grin.
"Not really. You act more like a dog now, sniffing around and barking at me."
"And you don't like it?" A strange, cruel smile formed on her lips. "Or you're so angry just because I interrupted your pleasant nap on the roof?"
Cú Chulainn did not bother to answer and launched an extremely fast attack instead. He knew the patterns of her movements well enough, after witnessing her last clash with Berserker in the temple. The speed was her main weapon – fully aware of this fact, he did not intend to let her outrun him or escape.
It was more interesting than he suspected. Every single blow of his spear should be fatal, yet she still lived, only slightly injured. Also the chain attached to her dagger proved to be unexpectedly troublesome to Lancer: by wrapping around the spear, it was slowing the warrior down. It was a barely noticeable difference in speed, but it seemed to be enough for Assassin to keep desperately dodging or repelling his strikes. It was more like acting or dancing than the actual fighting.
But Cú Chulainn was too experienced to be fooled by such a cheap tricks. After a short but fierce exchange of blows, he was able to predict several moves of his opponent forward. He cornered her easily just by changing the angle and speed of attacks.
"This is the last one," he declared with a wide smile, preparing the powerful finishing blow.
"As expected from a Lancer, you're giving me no choice," Assassin said calmly as usual, not even trying to dodge this time.
She removed the eye cover and stared at the blue Servant with her inhuman eyes, making him immediately froze in place and curse his bad luck.
"Tch, I missed." - it was anything he could say, completely focused on resisting her petrifying look and hoping that his protective runes will hold long enough to let him find a way out of this situation.
"Jeanne! I need to ask you something."
Rin caught Ruler on the corridor. It looked like she was following her, waiting for the best moment to start the conversation without witnesses.
"What is it, Rin?"
Surprisingly, Tohsaka hesitated for a long while, clearly not knowing how to speak out her mind properly and not be misunderstood.
"I'm tired of guessing and suspecting, it drains all my energy," she started at last, looking the blonde girl straight in the eyes. "I was trying to be strong and just. It's not fair, both for Berserker and for Rider… But I can't stand it any longer. I just… need to be sure." Her voice was filled with pain and desperation. "You know why, right? Could you please tell me his name?"
Jeanne shook her head categorically.
"I'm sorry, Rin. I cannot give you any advantage in this war, it's against the rules…"
"I swear I will not use this information in the war, it's only personal." Tohsaka raised her hand, making an official oath. "I can cast the geas on myself, if you don't believe me."
Ruler hesitated, a strange gleam appeared in her eyes. She turned around, unable to face Rin anymore.
"I… will consider this. But stop asking me now, ok?"
"Ok. I'm sorry," Rin said cheerfully, like nothing ever happened between them.
But Jeanne only lowered her head, embarrassed. She could clearly feel the sadness, which Rin tried to hide behind her usual 'Tohsaka pose', pretending to be much more ruthless and stronger than she actually was.
"So you've come," Gilgamesh said without true enthusiasm. He seemed to be almost bored to death; he barely glanced at Rider and returned to watching the magnificent view from the bridge. "You, the lowly so-called prince of mongrels from a small, barbaric country, should already know that you're no match for me."
"I'm well aware of my position. But it won't stop me from confronting you."
"Oh? But you haven't even drawn your sword yet?"
"You too, King of Heroes." Siegfried got off his horse and slowly walked up to Gilgamesh. He leaned against the railing and spent a moment just admiring the view in silence. From this place even a distant lights reflected in the river seemed simply stunning. "Besides, it's rude to draw a sword in the king's presence without being officially challenged to a duel. It's not how the royalty acts."
Archer's shoulders shook with suppressed laughter in reaction to Rider's slightly mocking tone.
"I knew you're a funny mongrel, but did not expect this much." When he took his hands out of his pockets, a little golden portal appeared in the air to his right. "Feel honoured, because I spent a while to know your legend. It was surprisingly disappointing, you failure. But I've found a fitting instrument of your destruction."
A golden hilt slipped out from the portal; Gilgamesh grabbed it and pulled out a fine longsword. It was a truly powerful weapon, but surprisingly simple, without any ornaments or other decoration. To Rider it looked awfully familiar.
"Gram?" Siegfried's eyes narrowed, when he took a closer look at the blade. "No, it's something more."
It was more like a concept of the blade that become Gram, which his father pulled out of the trunk of the great tree. From the shattered pieces of this original blade, Siegfried's favorite Balmung was forged. Watching the weapon of its origin brought back memories, especially those painful and unwanted.
"I've told you that I have something special for you in my treasury." Archer waved the sword several times. It was obviously one of his favorite weapons to use. "But now I'm no longer sure that you deserve to be killed by this sword. You've never meant to be a hero, your father was the one to slay the dragon with this blade. He had everything what's needed to be a true hero among humans: a passion, a hunger for life, a love for the world. You lack these things, even now. And you're not even brave, you just don't know fear. A substitute, a cheap replacement. A faker."
Why did he tell me this? To enrage me or destroy my will to fight? What's the purpose of breaking something, that's already been broken?
But he could feel a sudden wave of anger inside anyway. It turned out that he's more susceptible to this kind of mocking than he thought.
"See? The look you gave me right now, like a mindless beast! This is what I'm talking about." Gilgamesh smiled. "And you've died from a javelin stab, right? Like a wild animal, not a knight." His smile widened. "A fitting end for a failure like you."
Most of it was true, Siegfried came to the same conclusion long ago. But being scolded by someone as arrogant as this hedonistic prick, probably the oldest bully in the history of humankind, was too much, even for him.
"Tell me one thing: this treasury… is the embodiment of your legend, right?" – Rider asked calmly and shook his head, displeased. "It is a dragon sickness I see. You are like a greedy reptile, guarding a sparkling pile of gold. You've lost the true essence of life and in the end you have nothing but these meaningless items."
"Oh? Yours can only destroy. What does it say about you - that you are a murderer for hire?" A dangerous light sparkled in Archer's eyes. "And what do you have now? Your hollow ideals?"
Surprisingly, Siegfried only shrugged, trying to end the conversation.
"Who cares? In the Holy Grail War the best Servant is the one who is the most effective in killing, right?"
"An interesting point of view… for a mongrel." Gilgamesh laughed and dispelled the sword. "It is a paradox of your existence, don't you think? To be a realist and idealist at the same moment? How did you manage to reach such a pathetic state?"
"That's what I thought – it's impossible for us to understand each other," Rider said quietly, staring at Archer.
"I agree. Next time you'll die."
The dangerous red eyes met the cold blue eyes, but there was nothing more to say. The annoying hedonist and the walking wish-granting machine… it was obvious that a mutual disgust was the only feeling they could have for each other.
This time both Servants just turned around and walked away. But Rider was desperately trying to shake off the impression of being defeated before their battle even started.