SORRY! I know it has been like a month since I updated but I struggled massively with this chapter and I didn't want to put out something I didn't like. This is like the 5th version of this :0 Sorry I kept you waiting for so long, hopefully I'll finish the next chapter and a seasonal oneshot before New Year as a consolation! Love you all and Merry Christmas! (Who is going to the TwitterYuleBall2013?)

*Some time in the Christmas Holidays*

Why did I have to be so ridiculous? Why couldn't my stupid hormones just go away? Why do I not live in hole? Why do I have to be so socially awkward?

Why did I have to fall for James bloody Potter?

I know the universe like a bit of irony but this is just ridiculous! James and I just don't work; I'm the ugly nerd, the goody-two-shoes, the weirdo and he's the hot rebellious, Quidditch playing, troublemaker. We are polar opposites.

And now I fancy him like mad. Bloody brilliant.

He has taken over my life; he occupies my thoughts, dominates my day and seems to just pop up everywhere. For example, I was eating a Kit Kat the other day and I thought, "I wonder if James has ever had a Kit Kat…I bet he would look hot eating a Kit Kat."

I mean, that is not even normal. I am a weirdo, who can't stop thinking about someone she can't have. Grrrrr. I could never get James now; he's completely given up on me, how shocking. It's not exactly news-breaking that the King of Hotness has grown out of his obsession with the bitch, who was awful to him and continuously knocked him back. Did I really just think of him as the King of Hotness? No wonder he only thinks of me as his dorky little friend. Honestly, I have more chance getting off with Peter than his gorgeous best mate…actually I don't really want to imagine snogging Peter.

My mind has turned in a confused, perverted plate of tangled spaghetti. That is the best way to describe how I am feeling right now. Just screw life.

Lily's eyes snapped opened. It was Christmas morning!

She cherished the tranquil silence of the house for a moment, before jumping out of bed like a five year old.

"MUM! DAD! PETUNIA!" Lily yelled as she ran downstairs, madly excited, "IT'S CHRISTMAS!"

She didn't care that she was acting ridiculously for the 'O so serious Head-Girl', it was Christmas, time for festive cheer and singing loud for all to hear.

I hope everyone likes their presents! I am beyond excited!

Lily's parents stumbled down the stairs, bleary-eyed, however their faces lit up at the excited grin of their daughter thrusting mugs of hot tea into their hands. Petunia followed, she seemed to be in a good mood. As Dorothy gazed upon her daughters, she was struck with their unbelievable differences: Lily sat cross-legged on the floor in tartan pj's and a white tank top with the slogan "Son of Nutcracker" on it, whereas Petunia was in her matching pink silk nightgown, dressing gown and slippers. Lily's hair was wild, messy and vibrantly red; Petunia's was tidy, neat and rather dull. She loved them both, but she had to admit, Lily was much more fun to be around.

The Evans family had a delightful Christmas: exchanging presents; laughing at awful cracker jokes; eating to the point of explosion; being with family and just having a great time. Lily's love for the holiday grew as she saw her parents dance together around the kitchen to some cheesy festive song.

That's what I want; to still be in love over 20 years later.

Later, as she slowly dragged her exhausted body up to her room, she saw a random grey owl next to her snowy Edwige, who seemed extremely irritated by the overfriendly intruder. As Lily walked toward the random hooting owl, she noticed a letter and a small white package that the owl; had obviously delivered. She gave the owl water and some of Edwige's food, that usually she hated but suddenly wanted as the intruder had some.

Watching the two owls fly of into the night, Lily lay on her bed and opened the mysterious letter.

"Dear Lily,

Thanks for last night. Don't know what I would have done without you. I'll be there for if you ever need me.

This is just to say thank for being a great friend and a generally great girl.

Yours forever and ever

James"

Her face lit up with a loving smile at his wonderfully messy writing and beautiful memories of the night before. She opened the pure white box to reveal a delicate silver necklace with a small heart.

Holding the necklace against her love-filled heart, she fell asleep, reliving the previous night.

*Christmas Eve*

Lily sat on her bed, eating chocolate, watching Elf and generally being in the Christmas spirit. She did miss being at school and with her friends, however she had sent/received their presents and now she was just enjoying spending time with her family.

I am a bit bored. I miss the randomness of Hogwarts; not knowing whether your usual route to class will be attacked with ink pellets by Peeves or if some friends had suddenly become enemies. I miss the girls and our random DMCs (deep and meaningful conversations) that usually end in excessive chocolate eating. I miss the Marauders oddly; they've become a part of my life and I like being around them.

Mostly I miss James. Pathetic, I know.

Frustrated with her confused feeling for James, Lily rolled over, onto her stomach and groaned into her pillow. She lay there, dozing slightly until an odd taping noise woke her.

Who on earth is tapping on my window at 9pm?

She listened to the noise. It didn't really sound like tapping, more like something small hitting her window.

Well this is just rude. I'm here not bothering anyone; just peacefully wallowing in a sea of confused self-pity and some arse decides to irritate me on Christmas Eve. I'm going to take my goodwill and festive cheer and beat them to death with it.

She grumpily stomped to the window, ready to yell at some stupid little kid.

"Look, imbecile, stop throwing stuff at my window before I take my foot and-…Oh my God, James?"

There stood James Potter, below her window, holding a small rock.

"Oh my God! Why are you here? Sorry for yelling, erm I thought you were some idiot. No offence! Sorry I'm rambling! Wait, are you ok?"

She suddenly noticed his pained expression and trembling hands.

He shook his head slowly, "Not really. I was wondering if we could talk?" His voice sounded husky, as if he was near to tears.

"Yeah, of course! Give me 5 minutes, wait there!"

What do you wear when the hot guy you've been fantasying about turns up looking like he's having a breakdown in the middle of freezing cold, snowy December?

Lily eventually decided to wear a pair of thin tights; some thermal leggings; a long sleeved top; a thick jumper; a jacket; two pairs of sport socks; a pair of knee-high stripey socks and some wellies. She may look like a sumo wrestling snowman, but at least she was warm. She grabbed a scarf and gloves for her and James, as he looked freezing before.

"Hey! I brought you some things, because you looked freezing." She jogged over to where he was standing, "Are you alright?"

"Can we walk?" He replied, his voice tense.

Lily nodded and as they began to walk towards the park, she noticed his bloodshot eyes and the muscle twitching in his jaw. He had obviously been crying and was close to it now.

"I used to play here when I was little." She said as they came to the snow-covered park, "Me and Petunia used to love playing on the swings, we would do everything together. Oh well…"

She turned to face him. Softly, she took his hands and slid the gloves on them and then gently wrapped the scarf around his neck.

"There. At least you'll be a bit warmer. Now will you tell me what's wrong?"

James looked away from her to try and hide the tears in his eyes, but Lily noticed a small tear escape down his cheek.

"My parents. You know how they're Aurors?" James' voice shook as he spoke, "Well they were on a mission yesterday, and they shouldn't have even been there! They're promised they would stick to more desk-jobs. But yesterday's one was dangerous and they needed all the experienced Aurors so they went. It went wrong. I mean really wrong." His shaking hands ran through his hair, "We, me and Sirius, think more Death Eaters were there than they thought. Lots were killed or captured. My Mum and Dad both got attacked and seriously injured. The doctors are saying…they may not even make it to New Years Eve."

He sunk down to his knees, holding his head in his hands. Lily crouched down beside him and hugged him gently. She stroked his cheek as he cried in her arms.

This is the first time I've ever seen this side to him. He is always there for everyone but I've never seen him need someone else this much. I have to here for him now; he has held me when I was an emotional wreck about something much more trivial than this. He needs me to be there.

They kneeled in the snow for hours, locked in a tight embrace, with James' rambling about how he could have stopped his parents cut off by Lily's gentle logic.

"I should have told them not to go. We tried to persuade them not to go, but they wouldn't listen! If only I'd have-"

"James." Lily tilted his face to look him in the eye, "It was not your fault. It was a mission gone wrong, an accident. I repeat it was not your fault."

He leant his forehead against hers, breathing slowly, "I just can't believe I have to say goodbye to my parents."

"I know. It'll be ok eventually, you and Sirius have each other." She stroked his tear-stained cheek, whilst trying to ignore how close they were.

"They've had a good life, I think."

"Well they had you, so it must have been good."

WHAT?! Why don't you just have a massive tattoo on your forehead of "I love James Potter"? Stupid cow.

Luckily James appeared too lost in his grief to notice Lily's compliment.

"James?" Lily's knee's had gone numb and she was freezing from sitting in the snow, "Do you want to walk for a bit? Because it's a tiny bit cold here."

"Oh yeah, sorry." He jumped to his feet to help her up, "Merlin, you look freezing! Sorry, I didn't notice how cold it was."

Lily shivered as he brushed the snow off her, "No, it's fine. As long as you're alright." Omg. James Potter has touched my leg.

"Yeah, I'm done being a wuss." He seemed embarrassed by his display of emotions, another side of him that Lily had never seen, "Could you not mention this to anyone at school? Please? I mean, I don't want the piss taken out of me by certain people for the next millennium."

"Sure, no problem." Lily laughed; she knew that Sirius would never let James forget if she'd told him, "Where do you want to walk to?"

"Do you have any Muggle churches here? My Mum always used to go on about how Muggles had dead nice churches and how 'we wizards don't have anything close to them'."

Lily hid her confusion; she learned to not question the odd fascination some Pureblood families had with random Muggle things. They walked towards the quaint church in comfortable silence.

"Wow. It's so beautiful." James' face lit up as he saw the admittedly pretty church.

"My Mum and Dad were married here. It was August 17th 1955, Mum looked gorgeous. Petunia was christened here on February 7th 1957 and I was christened here on 31st July 1960."

"Wow. What's it like inside?"

"It's lovely. I'll show you." Lily smiled as she led James through the large metal doors and inside the church. There were candles burning at the altar and all around inside, also there were lots of people sitting quietly praying with the Priest. She led him to a small group of candles at the side.

"You can light your own candle for someone. You don't have to be particularly religious; it is just a comforting way of wishing for hope and love."

"Can I light two? Or does that not work?"

"You can light as many as you want."

He sat down on an old wooden pew and lit two candles and began to whisper what seemed to be a prayer. She sat down beside him and lit two candles of her own.

Please help James and his family through their grief and allow his parents to die in peace.

Also please give me strength to tell James how I feel and him to feel the same. I know that seems selfish when there is a war happening and he is losing his parents but I love him. Even if he doesn't love me back, please let him have a happy life.

Amen.

"Lily?"

"Yeah?" Is this it? Do I just come out with it? Is he going to tell me he likes me too? If it is, fast work, God!

"Come on, I'll walk you home."

Was that it? Brilliant.

She linked her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder as they walked across the snowy town.

*BELLS CHIME*

"It's midnight!" Lily squealed excitedly, "Merry Christmas!"

James grinned, "Merry Christmas, Lily." He pulled her close and kissed her softly on the cheek, "Thank you."

She could feel her cheeks reddening, "That's what friends are for."

"No, you're much more special than that." He touched the spot where he kissed her, and then smiled sadly, "See on the train, Lils."

Hugging her close once more, he stepped back slightly and apparated.

Did that really just happen or was it a magical Christmas dream?