A/N: This chapter turned out a little longer than expected so I've split it into two, hoping to get the other half up by the end of today!
Nick banged his fists hard against the roof doorway furiously.
"Come on you guys, very funny…haha we get it…" He growled through the door. "Now open the door!"
Nick was doing his best to remain as calm as he could, he could feel Jess's eyes intently focused on him, he wanted to show her in could control his anger.
There was no response from inside the door, had they already gone downstairs?
Nick banged again, harder and louder, "Guys?"
"We're still here Nicholas." Schmidt's voice replied.
"Good." Nick said with a relieved nod, noting the small breath of relief Jess exhaled at his words.
"But we're not letting you out." Schmidt said from the other side. "…Or in I should say."
"Schmidt." Nick growled warningly.
"No Nick I'm sorry but you two are going to stay out there until you figure this mess out." Schmidt said like a parent telling off their naughty child. "It's for your own good."
"Yeah we're sick of all your crap." Winston chimed in. "And Jess is not moving out…we love her too much."
"Damn straight. This loft wouldn't be the same without you Jess." Schmidt said in agreement.
Jess felt a genuine smile appear on her face despite the strange situation in which she currently found herself. She was touched by their words, she knew the guys cared about her but they didn't really say it much. It really had become a feeling loft she thought. Jess edged closer to the roof doorway, shooting a quick look to Nick, stopping before she got too close to him.
"Guys that's so sweet but you don't have to worry I'm not leaving." She said softly through the doorway.
Nick snapped his head to her, his eyes full of hope at her words. "You're not?"
Jess couldn't help but look back at him given how close he was to her but she didn't answer him. The truth was she didn't know what the hell she was going to do, she didn't want to leave the loft, she loved living here but she just couldn't stay any longer. She couldn't think about it now she turned back to the door, moving a little closer.
"Let us back inside and we can all talk about this." She said.
Nick could literally feel Schmidt roll his eyes on the other side of the door. "We, the people on the inside of the door have nothing to talk about Jess. Whereas you outside door people have enough issues for a Dr. Phil special…"
Nick shot a nasty glare at the door, struggling to remain in control of his steadily bubbling anger as Schmidt continued to speak.
"…But that doesn't mean we aren't here to help you." He continued in a patronising tone. "Now the most important thing about couple's therapy is…"
"We are not a couple!" Jess yelled slamming her own hand against the locked metal door.
She hit it pretty hard and Nick knew it had to hurt but if she was she didn't let it show, instead she just looked really pissed off.
"Whatever Jess." Winston chimed in. "Look here's the deal, we love the both of you and we're not losing either of you so you better figure this thing out!"
Jess let out a frustrated grunt and kicked the door violently, letting out a small squeal of pain Nick presuming she had stubbed her toe. He opened his mouth to say something to her but she just glared up at him with an accusatory look on her face. Nick felt a spark of panic rush through him; did she think he had something to do with all this madness? Nick stepped a little closer to her, noting the flash of worry in her eyes as he moved towards her, he held up his hands in a pacifying manner.
"Look Jess its ok, I'm gunna fix this." He said as reassuringly as he could manage.
But Jess only response was an unimpressed scoff at his words. Nick tried not to let her unenthusiastic reaction affect him, he stepped back towards the closed door, determined to get them off this roof if for no other reason now than to prove her wrong.
"Look Winston man you're right, we need to talk, we need to figure this out…this can't carry on…" He said shooting a side look to Jess, unable to hide the undeniable truth in his statement. "…and if you let us back inside we will. I promise."
Nick now heard Schmidt let out an equally as unconvinced scoff at his words.
"Not a chance Nick, you forget we know you both better than anyone." Schmidt said sternly. "You both have this amazing ability to avoid anything you don't want to deal with unless someone forces you to. So here you are friends, we're holding up the proverbial mirror to your emotionally damaged selves. And you're very welcome by the way."
"Schmidt…" Nick snarled, his hands clenching tightly at this sides. "I swear if you don't…"
"You can bark at me all you like Nick but we're not letting you in." Schmidt replied. "So you may as well make the most of it."
"Most of what?" Nick snapped back unable to stop the turtle face expression forming on his face. Jess did her best not to smile at it.
"Of the wonderful and spectacular rooftop paradise Winston and I have spent all day creating for you two ungrateful idiots!" Schmidt hissed. "Firstly we have Schmidt's, the finest kosher bistro outside of New York…"
Both Nick and Jess exchanged confused looks and in unison slowly turned their attention from the closed door and looked back out across the rooftop, finally taking in their surroundings.
Once again Nick noticed the romantic dinner set for two, relieved to know it wasn't for him and Winston. Now finally able to survey the scene before him Nick noticed there seemed to be a whole foodservice station assembled beside it, it looked like an outdoor cafeteria. Nick let his curiosity take over and slowly approached the large metal trays, struggling to take it all in. Nervously he lifted the heavy metal lid off the first tray and found beneath plates of fancy looking gourmet food, all teeny tiny portions and expertly put together. It looked like the sort of fancyman food Schmidt adored but Nick thought looked like someone had already eaten.
"Now to start we have carrot and coriander fritters with halloumi and sweet lemon dressing." Schmidt called through the door, Nick's face scrunched up at his words. "For your main course I have prepared pan-fried sea bass with watercress, polenta croutons and capers…"
Nick shot a horrified look to Jess who was just stood staring at the scene in an apparent state of shock.
Schmidt seemed to have taken their stunned silence for appreciation and awe and continued to recite their menu for the evening, "And for dessert, my delectable Tiramisu, a total classic. Mwah!" Nick knew Schmidt had kissed his fingers like he was some ridiculous TV chef.
Nick placed the metal lid down slowly and shook his head. "Schmidt this is crazy, where did you get all this stuff?"
"eBay." Schmidt replied simply. "Now all the hot food is in the first tray and the desserts are in the second. Now I've set the temperatures just right so I don't want either of you two fiddling with my knobs…"
"Jar." Nick said to himself. Then he noticed something, counting the number of huge pieces of metal catering equipment currently taking up space on their rooftop. "Wait Schmidt there's three trays, what's in the last one?"
Schmidt let out an annoyed groan inside the doorway, "Dammit I forgot you could count. Eurgh fine, the other tray contains foods more attuned to the animalistic pallet of Nick Miller."
"This part was my idea." Winston chipped in proudly.
Nick opened the tray furthest away from him and felt his senses come alive. His face fell into the biggest grin as he looked down at the contents of chicken wings, ribs, nachos, burritos, fries, onion rings and pretty much every other deep fried food Nick adored but Schmidt abhorred. Back in his 'Fat Schmidt' days in college the two would love nothing better than sitting in their dorm demolishing pizzas and wings talking about all the girls they could have got but decided not to (their delusions were endless) but Nick honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Schmidt anything not on his 'approved' list. Now days it was all fancy sushi and weird blended concoctions Nick never quite trusted the colour of.
But now staring at the perfect food collection, in spite of him all Nick could say was, "Awesome."
"Food heathen." Schmidt yelled in disgust.
Nick felt his stomach lurch in want at the mouth watering sight before him, he was famished, he hadn't eaten today but he knew there were more important things for him to deal with right now.
And apparently Schmidt was not done revealing his and Winston's master plan.
"Next we have Winston's Gentleman's Bar." He said pausing briefly. "Which if I'm not mistaken is located to Jess's right…"
At his words Jess slowly spun her body round to where they usually laid out on the sun-loungers drinking beer and doing very little. However now it appeared as though the two old rickety sun-loungers had been pushed together, with large soft cushions scattered all around and covered in what Nick really hoped weren't (but knowing Schmidt probably were) black satin sheets. Nick felt his whole body cringe as he finally saw this is where the trail of red rose petals scattered by the table led to, the makeshift bed.
"Yeah it's awesome! We got a mini fridge full of drinks and even managed to hook the speakers up with the stereo downstairs. Listen…" Winston said excitedly.
Nick's entire body clenched in horror as Chris Isaak – Wicked Game suddenly blared into the evening sky.
"Just as little mood music…" Schmidt said as the track suddenly changed into Marvin Gaye – Let's Get It On.
This without a doubt had to be the most awkward and uncomfortable moment of Nick's entire life. This couldn't possibly get any worse he thought to himself but as the track shifted to R Kelly – Bump n Grind Nick knew he was wrong, it could be worse.
"Kill me now." He muttered under his breath.
"Isn't it amazing? I'm changing the songs through an app on my phone!" Schmidt chirped enthusiastically changing the song to Boyz II Men – I'll Make Love to You. "The wonders of technology."
Nick didn't say anything at his roommates idiotic words, his attention was solely focused on Jess as she staggered towards the satin covered sung-loungers. It appeared as if she were in some sort of dazed trance-like state. Cautiously she sat down, her body teetering on the edge as Schmidt and Winston continued to skip through their 'set the mood' playlist laughing and cheering at their supposed brilliant idea. But Jess didn't seem to find it remotely funny or clever whatsoever, instead she looked as though she might burst into tears at any moment.
Nick wanted to rush over to her and comfort her immediately, tell her to ignore their idiotic roommates (as he often did) and somehow find some way to make her make her smile. But given all that had happened lately Nick doubted he would be of any real comfort to her right now. He only prayed she believed he had nothing to do with this entire fiasco.
"Schmidt would ya knock it off!" Nick roared backing away from the table.
"Don't get your panties in a twist Nicholas; we saved the pièce de résistance for last…" Schmidt snapped in reply as the music changed for the final time.
Nick closed his eyes tightly as the song echoed around them. Instantly cursing his supposed two best friends as the words rang in his ears;
I've had the time of my life…
Nick snapped his eyes open as he heard the smallest sob escape from Jess's lips before she thrust her head into her lap in despair.
"Oh my god." She whispered lowly.
Her overwhelmed reaction stirred to awaken the rage filled beast Nick tried so desperately to control. Nick launched himself at the metal door, banging and kicking his fists against it so forcefully he was surprised he didn't pound his way straight through.
"Turn. That. Crap. Off. Now." He roared his voice dark and dangerous.
Schmidt and Winston exchanged worried looks on the other side of the door, they both recognised that tone, they weren't just dealing with every day angry Nick now, they had awoken irate ferocious and sometimes prone to rash violent outbursts Nick.
"Ok man, it's off." Winston said apologetically.
The rooftop was suddenly plunged into a cool silence.
"All you had to do was ask Nick." Schmidt mumbled.
Nick shook his head in exasperation, the rage boiling within so hotly him he couldn't contain it, he smashed his fist against the door one final time.
"Dammit." Nick snarled as his brain registered the pain spreading through his knuckles. He turned away from the door, rubbing his now sore hand with the other when his eyes met the blue pair which had been unable to keep their eyes off him from across the rooftop.
Nick wasn't sure of it was his bleared vision from the pain in his hand or just his wishful thinking but he swore he could see the slightest trace of a smile appear on Jess face. A smile of gratitude maybe? Nick felt the pain in his hand fade at even this small sign of warmth, of hope from her.
Jess eyed him for a moment; she opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something but stopped herself. Nick felt his brief flicker of hope die out at her actions but then he noticed she was still smiling at him, maybe even a little wider now. Nick felt his breath hitch in his throat and watched with silent trepidation as Jess rose to her feet and slowly made her way across the rooftop, towards Nick. He watched as she glided silently through the darkening evening sky, her dark curls blowing wistfully in the light summer breeze.
Then Nick was suddenly pulled from his angelic vision of her by an almighty crashing sound. It seemed despite the mass of empty space on the roof Jess still somehow managed to have balance issues and had collided with Winston's makeshift bar. Nick let out a soft chuckle at Jess now sprawled across the wooden decking surrounded by an array of small bright coloured objects, as he noticed she has also managed to knock over a large metal box that had sat atop the bar.
Embarrassed by her ill time clumsiness Jess pulled herself up onto her knees and hurriedly began clearing it up.
"What was that?" Winston asked through the door.
"Nothing. Jess just knocked over some big metal box." He said as he walked over to help her.
"Be careful, you might be needing those later. If all goes well…" Schmidt said in a somewhat unsettling tone.
Nick had no idea what he was talking about but as he bent down, his face now level with Jess, he saw a look of total horror and embarrassment of her face. Then something shiny square in her hand caught Nick's eye and he had the horrible realisation of what she was holding, a condom. Confused he looked down at the floor and saw they were surrounded by a sea of condoms, Schmidt's disconcerting comment making all too much sense now. Nick looked up at Jess face; the brief smile that had reignited his hope was gone and was now replaced by an intense and icy stare.
"Jess…" Nick began.
Jess glared at him and took a deep breath before speaking through gritted teeth, "Nick…tell me the truth, did you do this?"
Nick stared back at her in confusion before his brain actually registered what she was asking him, was he a part of this madness? He almost laughed in her face it was such an absurd notion. Not only did Nick lack the funds, resources and basic motivation he had nowhere near the imagination for something this elaborate. Crazy and disgusting pranks against his friends (namely Schmidt) then sure; Nick Miller was your man, but big romantic gestures, not so much.
Nick looked at her, hoping his eyes showed the truth. "No, no, no Jess I swear to you I had nothing to do with…"
Nick felt relief as he saw Jess expression immediately soften at his words, she believed him. Jess gave him a small nod, of course Nick would never do something like this to her. Her soft flickering smile seemed as though it was about to return to her face until Schmidt's ill-timed voice yelled through the door.
"And as the only member of the loft yet to have a confirmed visual on Nick's junk I included a range of sizes." He said a definite bitterness in his words. "But as always its safety first."
Jess scrunched both her fists tightly crumpling a number of the shiny packets in her tiny hands. Nick saw her eyes turned dark and almost menacing, he actually felt himself gulp. Jess suddenly sprung into the air with an angry cry. Jess flew towards the rooftop door slamming the palms of her fists against the closed metal over and over.
"Schmidt you open this door right now!" She yelled as she gave the door one loud earthquake-like bang. "Or I swear to god I will scale the walls like freaking Spiderman sneak into your bedroom and go all Freddy Krueger on your suits!"
Jess heard Schmidt let out a horrified squeal. "You wouldn't dare!"
"Try me Schmidt." Jess growled darkly. "That's not all, if you don't let us in right this second I will spend every minute of every day thinking of ways to make your life a living hell. Nothing will be off limits Schmidt, not your body gelato, not your hair chutney, not a single one of your hundred dollar jars of cream or gel or whatever other crap you smear on yourself will be safe!"
"Jessica how could you threaten my chut-ten-ney!" Schmidt cried in despair.
Jess whole body was shaking with fury as she kicked the door, "Then open the god damn door and no chutney has to get hurt!"
Nick approached Jess; cautiously he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Jess its ok, calm down."
Jess shrugged him off, "Don't tell me to calm down Miller."
"Look Jess I just tryin' to help…" He said.
Jess turned to face him, her dark whipping around quickly, "Then why don't you do something useful and get these two numbnuts to open this door!"
Nick tried not to rise to Jess own anger. "Ok Jess, look what do you want me to do?"
Nick heard Schmidt and Winston's taunting chuckle on the inside of the door, then Winston mumbled;
"Whipped already…damn!"
"Can it Winston!" Nick spat back. Just because he would do anything Jess asked or wanted him to did not mean he was whipped. He was just…damn.
Jess eyes turned dark at the mention of their other roommate's name. "You know Winston I can't believe you would do this to me! You know how claustrophobic I am!"
Despite knowing how incredibly furious she was now Nick couldn't help but snigger at Jess words. "Jess we're on a rooftop, there is literally nothing but open space and fresh air up here."
Jess swung her face back to Nick once more, scowling at him darkly. "Shut. Up. Miller."
"Jess, c'mon…" he said slightly apologetically as he reached out for her elbow, still unable to stop himself from smirking at her.
"No Nick this is all just some big joke to you isn't it?" she spat nastily snatching her arm away from his touch.
Nick felt his grin fade as his face fell into a deep frown, "Jess would ya just cut me some slack here? This isn't my fault!"
"Isn't it?" Jess snapped before she could stop herself.
"I already told you I had nothing to do with all this!" Nick yelled pointing to the unbelievable scene around them.
Jess shook her head in annoyance, "Whatever Miller…" She said dismissively.
"No Jess c'mon you've clearly got something to say, so say it!" Nick said, realising the volume of his words was getting louder.
Jess glared at Nick, her eyes narrowing, "Fine Miller. You may not have been involved in Dumb and Dumbers master plan but we are stuck up here because of you!"
"What?" Nick asked incredulously.
"None of this would be even be happening if you hadn't gone all Nick Miller and broke into Russell's house for those stupid valet cards instead of just talking to me in the first place!" she yelled back at him.
Nick knew she was right, he was the one who had started all of this, not just his ridiculous misadventure to Russell's house but months ago that night in the hallway. Nick had been the one to cross that line, to irrevocably change things between them and it seemed every day since he had only succeeded in making this worse. And right now was no different, whilst he knew he needed to keep his cool and try to calm Jess down, to get her to see reason it seemed angry Nick was prepping himself to make another ill-timed appearance. He just couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut when Jess was around.
"Oh yes Jessica and this has absolutely nothing to do with your little performance from this morning!" Nick roared at her. "All that crap about moving out! Why do you have to act like a child all…"
But Jess cut him off, "Excuse me? I'm the immature one here?"
Nick nodded, his brown eyes glaring at her. "Yes Jess! Acting like I didn't exist today, behaving like one of your sixth graders! Very mature Day."
"You know what Miller? That's it, I'm done with all this crap…and you two…" She said banging on the door. "…are going to pay for this, mark my words!"
Jess threw Nick a dark look before she stormed off back towards the covered sun-loungers, her pink pumps stomping across the scattered masses of condoms still spread across the decking floor. She sat down with an irritated huff, folding her arms and purposefully turned her face from Nick, staring instead out to the night skyline.
Nick remained where he was, his chest heaving and fists clenched. He needed a minute to gather his thoughts and get his anger back in check before it went too far again, unfortunately Schmidt chose this moment of silence to once again add his own unwanted opinions to the proceedings.
"Ok guys, good start, it's really important that you put it all out there. A healthy relationship…" Schmidt began to say in a condescending tone when Nick cut him off.
"A healthy relationship? Do me a favour Schmidt!" Nick growled. "You are the last person I would ever go to for advice…"
Schmidt let out a small chuckle on the inside, "Nick must I remind you of last year? Where you practically begged me to help you manage your little sorority girl problems!"
Nick nodded to himself, "Sure Schmidt you're the professor of hooking up with random chicks and getting rid of them as quickly as possible but dealing with actual real women, feelings and relationships you're worse than me!"
"How very dare you…" Schmidt began.
"I may be the king of self-sabotage in relationships Schmidt but at least I have real relationships!" Nick spat nastily. "You're nothing but a self-centred, sleazy, arrogant douchebag who thinks just because you used to be the fat kid with no friends and is now some big shot executive you can act however you want!"
Schmidt said nothing on the other side of the door at Nick's barbed words. Nick knew he should stop, that he was just taking all of his frustrations out on Schmidt.
"No wonder CeCe didn't want you." Nick added in a low mutter but loud enough for them to hear on the inside of the door.
Just as he had last night Nick instantly regretted his words, why did angry Nick always have to open his big mouth and ruin everything. Nick knew how hard the whole CeCe thing had been for Schmidt, and how much it was killing him that she was marrying someone else. Nick knew that despite this whole crazy scenario Schmidt and Winston had come up with they were just trying to help. Dammit Miller, he thought to himself.
"Schmidt I…" he said quietly but got no reply, all he heard was the hard hammering of footsteps on the stairs, which grew quieter and quieter as they moved away.
"Schmidt wait!" Winston yelled from the inside of the door then let out a tired sigh. "Nick man, seriously?"
Nick ran his hands down his face, "I know. I'm an idiot."
"I'm gunna go after him, before he starts drowning his sorrows in melon balls." Winston said, then turned back to the closed door. "Nick…"
"Yeah?" Nick answered.
"Just talk to her man." Winston said simply.
It was the same words Nick had heard over and over the past few days, from Russell, from Schmidt, from Big Bob as well as constantly from the frustrated voice in his head. Nick had known all along this is what he had to do, he needed to face her, to figure out what the hell was going on but he just couldn't. He didn't know now if it was because he was trapped up on the roof with her or because it was Winston who had said the words to him but Nick knew he couldn't run from it anymore, he didn't want to.
"Ok." Nick said quietly.
Nick heard the sounds of Winston's feet move on the inside of the door, then stop suddenly. "Hey Nick, don't screw it up."
Winston didn't give Nick any time to reply as Nick heard the movement of his feet once more as they trailed off to follow Schmidt back downstairs.
Nick stood for a moment by the door, staring across the roof to where Jess at silently with her back to him. He took a deep breath and slapped himself on both sides of his face, he was ready, he could do this, he had to do this.
"Game face Miller." He mumbled as he made his way towards her.
Jess heard the slow shuffle of Nick's feet approach her through the silent night air, the sun had practically set now and the earliest twinkling of stars began to appear above. It really was a beautiful sight; the idea of laying up here under the stars with Nick would have been a dream come true for Jess only a few days ago but now it seemed like a nightmare. No matter what she did or what she tried it always seemed to end the same way between them, screaming and yelling hurtful things to one another and she was just so tired of it. So to her the only logical thing to do was ignore it, she knew Nick was never going to tell her how he really felt. He would mumble and skirt around his feelings until it led to another argument. And she was done. She didn't care if he thought it was childish, she couldn't keep going round and round like this, it hurt too much.
Jess let out an involuntarily wince as Nick scraped one of the old battered lawn chairs across the floor towards her. He set the chair down about three feet away from her and silently sat down. Jess could feel his eyes boring into her body but she refused to look at him, instead she twisted her body away from his direction and cast her gaze out across the sky, concentrating on the emerging white lights of the stars.
Nick continued to star at her, he knew she was using all her willpower not to let herself look at him, to not give in. And he knew how stubborn she could be; luckily Nick Miller was even more stubborn.
Nick cleared his throat, "Jess, c'mon are you really going to do this again?"
Jess kept her face turned away from his.
"Look I know I've been an idiot ok? And I'm sorry but I'm here and I wanna talk to you Jess…I wanna talk about us." He said sincerely.
Jess tried not to let it show that her heart jumped when he spoke of them as one entity.
"Jess please…talk to me." He said, unable to hide the pleading in his voice.
Still nothing.
"Jessica." Nick said his voice becoming sterner.
Silence.
Nick felt his patience and determination start to fade at her continual silence. She wouldn't even let herself look at him.
"Dammit Jess would ya quit being so stubborn and just talk to me? You're the one who said I push people away and never deal my feelings and now I'm here you're actually just going to sit there and pretend I don't exist?" Nick yelled incredulously at her cold response, couldn't she see how hard he was trying?
Jess felt her heart pound in her chest, she knew Nick was struggling to keep it all together, to keep from snapping and that's why she knew this would only end one way. If she turned to him now, if they tried to talk about all the craziness that had happened between them lately they would only end up at loggerheads once more. So she remained silent, refusing to let herself get sucked back in by him again. She knew it would only be a matter of time before he gave up and walked away.
Nick shook his head, "Fine Jess, if this is what you want forget it. I tried here ok, I tried to fix this but now I'm done."
He snapped standing to his feet. Jess couldn't help but let a small smirk cross her lips at his actions, right on schedule Miller, she thought to himself.
Angry and feeling beaten Nick looked down at Jess and saw the slightest flicker of a smirk on her face. Did she find this funny? Was all this some sort of joke to her? But as Nick looked down at her face he saw the smile didn't reach her eyes. As she looked out into the night her blue eyes looked tired and sorrowful. Nick realised it wasn't a smile of happiness or mocking but a resigned sign, she had expected nothing less from Nick than to give up. Something inside Nick was suddenly stirred by her reaction, sit your ass back down, the angry voice in his head growled, prove her wrong.
Nick took a deep breath and sat back in his chair; Jess couldn't help but let her head look back at his actions.
"You know what, I'm not done." He said an almost cool grin appearing across his face. "Not by a long shot. This isn't how this is going to end."
Jess felt her mouth fall open at his bold words; she continued to stare at him.
Nick lent back in the chair, "I don't care if it takes all night, I'm not going anywhere Jessica."