Janey... She was like an angel from head to toe. She lit up the room, even though he lived in complete darkness – her kindness radiated through. She took care of him... better than even his own sister had.

Lucille had taken care of him... But some days she could be cruel and mean. Some days, she would even hurt him – she was a master at inflicting pain without leaving marks. He had still loved her though, despite of what she had done. He knew the pain she had been through, and he had always felt guilty. Much of her pain had been because of him – things he had done, for which she had taken the blame.

But he now also started to see how his sister had goaded him into doing things – forced him, even – often things he did not want to do. Even when they had been little, she had made him do things that he knew were forbidden. Sometimes unjustly so.o. The toys... It had been a cruel move by their father not to let them play with them. But they had... And they were caught. Or rather, Lucille was caught – he had hidden away. But it had been Lucille's idea to go there in the first place, even though she later had said it was his fault they were there. It was the first thrashing that he could remember... and the start of his inventing career. Lucille kept wanting to go back to the toy room, but Thomas had been too afraid to let his sister get hurt again. So he started creating things, trying to replicate the toys they had seen in order to keep his sister away from that damned room. It had been the start of his inventing career. Of course, Lucille soon had found other ways to defy their parents. Looking back on it, it was almost like she relished it... She wore every lash like a battle scar. If anything, every beating made her even more determined to defy their parents.

That had been part of the reason he had gone along with her plans so easily. If anything, he knew that, when defied, Lucille hit back twice as hard. Convincing her Edith was the better choice had been his first act of real defiance. If only he hadn't... Lucille might still be alive... But some other girl would have died... He realised that too. He could not help missing his sister, though. Lucille had been so much part of… him.

The sudden realisation came to him that he and Lucille had been like one person all along. He had been the human face, the one that tried to put everything right, to please people. He had tried to please their mother and father by being exactly what they wanted – invisible. Lucille had been everything he did not dare to be – but, with that, she had lost her humanity. She never cared who got hurt. In fact, she derived pleasure in seeing the pain of others. She had nursed their mother because she had liked "seeing the old hag in pain", she would tell him at night when they lay in bed together. The delight she had shown in it gave him chills. He had known it was wrong, but at the same time he had thought their mother deserved it. Never had their mother expressed kindness to them.

He hadn't felt sad when she died... nor when his father died. They had deserved it. His sister confirmed this, or rather, she had constantly convinced him of this fact. When his first wife died, it had been a relief... Had sadness touched him? Not really. With the second... Well he realised what Lucille had done and he was mortified … but not about his wife... About himself, and how he had not stopped it. Still, he had let Lucille bully him into taking a third wife... And a fourth. All the times he could have objected, and yet... Why hadn't he? Lucille would have been furious, yes. She might have hurt him. But it would have been the right thing to do. And she might have still been alive now. In an asylum, yes, but he would have found her one where they treated her gently. Maybe he would have stayed with her, too. God knew he was far from sane.

But then again, where would they have found the money? All they would have been able to afford was some second-rate quack who would have made matter worse. Lucille would have probably bludgeoned him, and turned him into mince pies.

That image made him laugh... and immediately he felt guilty. How could he laugh about someone dying, even if it was just a hypothetical person? Maybe Lucille was right – maybe he was wicked. Maybe he was just as crazy as she was. How couldn't he be, with those genes? Mother had been cold and cruel, and his father an ill-tempered hot head that coud blow up over nothing. He was their spawn, as was Lucille. How could he be anything but bad? How could he care for anyone?

Still.. He knew what love was... Didn't he? He cared deeply for Janey. He couldn't imagine ever hurting her. He'd rather die than seeing her get hurt. Even though he had only known her for a short period of time, he had grown very fond of her... Very fond... Why she would stay with a broken man like him, though, he did not understand.

He still loved Edith, in his own way... though the passion was gone. She had shown him the way to the light, and he would have gladly joined her there, only the hold of the darkness had been too strong. She had been right in saying he was tied to the past, and his past was so dark that it had him in a hold...even to this day, he could not get rid of it and he probably never would. He had loved Lucille. He still couldn't come to face with the fact she was dead... Their relationship had been twisted in so many ways, but all he had ever wanted to do was protect her, make her feel safe, feel loved in a way their parents never had. It had all become so muddled up, though. So much so that she had tried to kill him... And very nearly succeeded. And yet... he still loved her, he still cared for her. He forgave her for what she had done. He understood. And that worried him. How? Someone who had done such evil things? He would have let her gotten away with worse if Edith had not stopped him. And if that did not make him certifiable, he didn't know what would.

He wondered if in time he would hurt Janey... He never had hurt anyone, but... With his genes, could he take the risk? What had made his parents the way they were? Lack of love? Isolation? There had been so much anger... He couldn't understand. He just felt pain...

A hand was laid on his shoulder. "Would you like to come with me to the village? It's a lovely day, and I would like the company."

No... There was nothing there for him. The villagers hated him. He was a monster that they should ban from society. But had he not been hiding long enough? Was it not that, which had driven his parents over the edge, and Lucille as well. In company she could be carming but alone.. The demons had come out. Maybe he should go out there. Maybe it was time to stop being afraid of everything. Maybe by going out there, he could change his destiny, not becoming a bitter recluse like his parents. "Alright... let's go."

ILuffsNicoDiAngelo : I'm glad you do

Angel Flying: Thank you

Smithsbabe65: Yup, I'd jump his bones to and freak him out. Thank heavens Janey is more patient. And Pilot... He is going nowhere

Sallydanz13 : Thank you