A/N: Well, here is the last chapter and it is another long one. I know this story was unlike anything that I have done before, and I thank you all so much for reading it. It was nice to break out of my comfort zone and I thank everyone for all of the reviews telling me how I did.
Chapter 10 – Love Child
GJ Headquarters – One Night in Late September
Kim eased out of her chair, her back complaining as her overly-weighted front caused her center of gravity to shift into an unnatural position. She sighed as she waddled her way toward the outer office. She had forgotten how much she really despised being pregnant. Some women may have glowed; she threw up for six months, and by the time that finally stopped, her pregnancy had advanced to the point where she had to deal with an unwieldy body that she was unused to dealing with, she had to pee incessantly and she was forced to wear the god-awful GJ pregnancy uniform. She opened the door and Teresa looked up. "I'm leaving now, Teresa," she said, and Teresa nodded in agreement.
"You should have left three hours ago," she said pointedly.
Kim scowled and sighed. Teresa, along with most of her senior staff, was being sympathetic/coddling/solicitous to the point of insubordination. Ever since that damn senior staff meeting where she had made the announcement that she was pregnant, all of her section heads had been finding creative ways to surreptitiously relieve her of some of her duties or tell her that she was working too hard. Some, like Teresa and Wade, weren't even being creative about it; they just told her flat out when they thought she was pushing herself too hard.
Maybe she was working too hard, she admitted reluctantly as she pushed the button for the elevator. She had been doing everything possible to avoid thinking about Shego and work, as always, had been the easiest way to distract herself. The elevator came and Kim got in, her right hand automatically coming to rest on her stomach as she turned to face the double doors. She had been fighting with herself for months, but she still hadn't convinced herself that telling Shego was what was best for any of them, even thought Anne wasted no opportunity to guilt her about not telling the baby's other parent.
Anne had been the most vocal of those who knew who the baby's father was, but much like they were annoying her with their fawning, her section heads had been annoying her by nudging her, either subtly or in Wade's case, not so subtly, to get back in contact with Shego. She had never explicitly told them who the father was, but her people were some of the most intelligent people alive, and it took all of them a collective three seconds to put the clues together and deduce whose the kid probably was after she had told them she was pregnant. Thankfully, they hadn't been smug about it, but all of them had been gently hinting that she should tell Shego.
As Kim got off the elevator and headed toward her car, her thoughts turned to one other person that knew: Ron. Ron was the only one who knew that wasn't giving her advice about her life and she loved him the more for it. She couldn't build up the nerve to tell him, but eventually the visual clues of her pregnancy caught up with her and he had found out. He didn't propose marriage this time, but, just as he had done before when Kim was pregnant with Anne, he managed to put aside everything that had happened between himself and Kim to become exactly the friend that Kim needed. They became close again, and they had reached a peace in their relationship that had not been there for a while.
Snapping out of her thoughts when she reached her car, Kim reached out with her right thumb to activate the door. Her print was a match and the door unlocked, but before she could grab the handle, her abdomen seized up in a painful spasm and fluid came rushing down the length of her pant legs. She took calming breaths until the pain subsided before activating her earbud. "GJ Medical. How may we help you, Madame Director?" a voice inquired.
"I need to speak to the Chief Medical Officer," Kim replied shortly.
There was a brief pause and Dr. Ann Possible's voice came over the line. "What's up, Kim?" she asked.
"My water just broke, Mom," Kim answered. "I'm in the parking garage, but I will be back up there in two minutes."
Ann wanted to send a wheelchair but knew Kim would never use it. "We'll be ready for you," she said. Kim cut off the transmission and headed back towards the elevator. She hit the proper floor and waited somewhat patiently as the elevator began its ascent. The elevator stopped, the doors parted and Kim found herself face-to-face with her mother, who had a gurney waiting. "I knew you wouldn't stand for a wheelchair to bring you up. But you will get on this gurney now," she ordered. Kim sighed but climbed aboard, and her mother wheeled her into a room. As they traveled, Kim got in contact with Teresa.
"Teresa, I need you to get a hold of Anne, Ron and the Twins," she requested. "It looks like the baby has decided to make her entrance."
"Of course, Madame Director," she responded instantly. "Should I inform the senior staff as well?"
"Please do," Kim confirmed. "Dr. Porter will have to take over for me as I will soon be incapacitated."
"I will inform her and everyone else, Madame Director," Teresa answered. "And I will be down there to assist you as soon as I am finished."
"That won't be necessary, Teresa," Kim assured her.
"It will be until someone else gets here, Madame Director," Teresa contradicted. "Teresa out."
Kim shook her head as she got off the gurney to change out of her soaked clothes and into a hospital gown. Her mother drew the curtain and handed her the gown, but as she was taking it, a contraction ripped through her lower body. She let it pass, took a deep breath and hurriedly changed. She swung her bloated self on to the bed and her mother started hooking up monitors. By the time she had finished, Teresa had come in, and Kim had to admit it was nice to have her there as the contractions became more frequent and more pronounced.
Half an hour passed, and with its passage the cavalry arrived. Her section heads, having finished up any pressing items they had, got there first. They were followed closely by Anne, Tony, and Ernie; Mr. Dr. Possible came next, and finally Ron and the boys made it to the hospital wing. There was steady rotation of people in and out of Kim's room until the contractions were only a few minutes apart and Mrs. Dr. Possible kicked everyone out. They all sullenly went into the waiting room and paced around nervously until Ann Possible came back in. "It's a girl," she said proudly. "And both she and Kim are doing fine." Everyone broke out into wide smiles. Ann knew that they all wanted to see Kim and the new baby, but having fourteen people in the room was just not going to work. "You all can come in two at a time and you can only stay for five minutes," she told them. They all nodded in agreement and paired up.
The line went smoothly; Mr. Dr. Possible and Ron went first; Anne and Tony called second and the twins claimed third. Everyone else didn't care about their order as long as they got to see them. Mrs. Dr. Possible kept the line moving, and within three quarters of an hour, they had all been cycled through. As the last person went out the door, Kim took her newborn back from her mother and breathed a sigh of relief that everyone had finally left. "Thanks, Mom," she said gratefully. "I wanted them all to see her, but I am glad they didn't stay forever."
"My pleasure, sweetie," Ann Possible said. "Now the two of you should get some rest." She kissed her daughter and her granddaughter on the forehead and left the room.
The baby yawned and Kim smiled at the fulfillment of her mother's prophecy. They really did need to get some rest. Her little girl was probably hungry, too, Kim reasoned, sp she loosened her gown and offered her something to eat. It took a little doing, but soon the suckling reflex took over and her baby started to feed, allowing Kim the opportunity to study her in detail. Kim gently brushed her soft cheek with her forefinger before using the same finger to gently detach the tiny hand that was clutching her breast with surprising ferocity. All of the digits were there, and after carefully examining the tiny fingernails she let the hand fall back to its former place.
The rest of her infant was bundled up and difficult to see, but Kim couldn't help but notice a fringe of dark-colored hair escaping from underneath the pink cap on her newborn head. Kim carefully took the cap off, and a shock of black hair bristled as it followed the path of the cap. Kim smiled wryly and ran her free fingers through it. It crackled, and Kim could see the faintest hint of green highlights when the light fell just so on the dark strands. "You're Mommy's girl, aren't you?" she asked with a smirk. "If Anne had looked like you, no one would have thought she was Ron's." Kim ran her fingers through the soft hair once more and then replaced the cap so that she wouldn't lose too much heat.
The baby finished up her meal and started to drift off to sleep. Kim brought her up and thumped her gently, causing a baby-sized belch to emerge. She brought her back down and cuddled her, and her newborn blinked sleepily, exposing green-blue eyes that were almost the exact same shade that Anne's had been at that age. Eventually the eyelids became too heavy to lift and the baby fell asleep.
Kim watched her sleep for a few minutes, and in that sweet, slumbering infant face, she saw the stupidity of her choices in the last few months mirrored in every one of the baby's features that mirrored Shego. She had been fighting with herself ever since she had found out she was pregnant, weighing the desire to protect her baby from the reality of who Shego was and who she had become against the knowledge that she still loved Shego desperately and wanted her to be a part of their daughter's life. But now, holding their newborn child in her arms for the second time without having Shego by her side, she found that her choice was easy. She didn't care who or what Shego was; she just wanted Shego there.
It was selfish and hypocritical of her and she knew it. Shego was a thief and a murderer and Kim had made a promise to stop such people. She had taken away other people's mothers and fathers and broken up families because laws had been broken, yet now she was unwilling to do the same to her own child. So fucking what, she thought angrily. She was tired of being alone, tired of apologizing for who she was in love with and most of all, tired of sacrificing her life both willingly and unwillingly for GJ. If anyone had a problem with it, she really just didn't give a shit.
Her choice made, she thought about how to get Shego here. She knew of one person who would be more than happy to assist her. She gingerly got up and placed the baby in her bassinet before opening the door to her room and walking carefully out into the hallway. Her mother saw her and scowled. "You are supposed to be resting," she said disapprovingly.
"I just want to talk to Anne," Kim protested.
"I'll get her," Ann replied tersely. "You get back into bed."
Kim turned around and went back to her room, getting back into bed as her mother had requested. About a minute later, Anne popped her head into the room. "What do you need, Ma?" she asked.
"I want you to deliver a message to Shego," Kim replied. "I want you to tell her about your little sister and to ask her to come here. I have been horribly unfair and stupid, so she may not want to come, but I think she should at least know, and if she knows, she may be able to forgive me."
Anne grinned. "She'll come, Ma," she said confidently. "And it's about damn time," she added.
"Yeah, yeah," Kim said, brushing away her last comment. "But if you get her to come, remember that she is a wanted criminal."
"No, she's not," Anne disagreed. "The Boss is. And since everyone who knows she is the Boss has been after you to tell her, I don't think anyone is going to care if she shows up." Kim glared at her and Anne knew when to shut up. "I'll be careful when I bring her in," she acquiesced. She flashed another wide grin at her mother and disappeared out the door. Kim watched her go and then lay back on her pillows, knowing she needed to get some rest before Anne got back.
Anne went down the hallway into the waiting room, spotting Dr. Porter and making a request of her. "Dr. Porter, would it be possible for you to give permission for me to take out one of the hovercrafts?" she inquired. "Madame Director has a personal mission that she would like me to undertake."
Vivian smiled; it was about damn time Kim told Shego. "There will be one waiting when you get there," she answered.
Anne nodded her thanks, shared a look with Tony that told her fiancé where she was off to, and proceeded to the aircraft hangar. As promised, a hovercraft was ready to go and Anne took off immediately. She spent the trip to the Arctic thinking of what to say. Not only did she have to face her other biological parent for the first time, she also had to tell said parent that she had another daughter. She wasn't exactly sure how to start that conversation.
She landed and popped the hatch. She eschewed putting on a snowsuit; she could just light herself up so she didn't freeze and she had plenty of energy to keep herself warm for the short distance to the door. She leapt out into the snow and made her way to the front door. The locking panel had been repaired, but Anne blasted it with her plasma and the door slid obediently open. She walked into the antechamber keeping an eye out for any kind of guards, but this particular corridor was silent and empty.
She followed the map in her handheld, and as she grew closer to the Boss' office, she started encountering people. Most of them were so stunned by her blatant and unrepentant presence that they did nothing, but a few of the more well-trained guards engaged her. She incapacitated them easily, knocking most of them cold with a single blow. The last guard she faced took a little more to bring down, though, and he managed to trigger the alarm before Anne took him out.
DD looked up from the time machine's diagnostic panel as the intruder alert started to blare. "Who or what triggered the fucking alarm?" Shego demanded as she came out of the time machine's cockpit. She took a deep breath as she tried to calm herself. They had just gotten this thing to work for the second time. If someone was trying to sabotage it again or if someone did something to prevent them from using it, she really couldn't be responsible for her actions.
"I dunno, Boss." DD said, hurrying over to check the security system when he saw how agitated the Boss was getting. He pushed a couple of buttons and Anne's face appeared on the screen. "Um, Boss?" he said. "We have an unexpected guest."
Shego looked at the monitor and frowned. Something was up. GJ had left them alone for months and they had done nothing to provoke an attack. She studied the monitor. But then again, Anne wasn't really attacking. Sure, her guards would all have a headache tomorrow, but they would live, and more tellingly, if someone didn't bother her first, Anne was ignoring them to continue along her way. "Intercept her and bring her into my office, DD," she ordered. "That's where she looks like she's headed anyway."
DD nodded. "Right away, Boss," he replied, turning off the time machine's diagnostic panel before turning and leaving the room. Shego reached out a hand to touch her time machine, torn between using it and finding out what her daughter had to say. Deciding that a few more minutes of waiting was not going to kill her, she withdrew her hand and left the production floor to go to her office.
Anne checked the device in her hand once more to make sure this was the Boss' office and then walked through the door. The office was empty, but as soon as she came in, a side door slid open and Hyperkinetic walked into the room. "I want to see the Boss," Anne said promptly. "And I know she isn't you."
DD paused, slightly taken aback, but then he remembered whose daughter this was and smiled slightly. "Of course, Officer Possible," he said. "The Boss wants to see you too." He pushed the door button on his desk and the door slid open. Anne gave a curt nod of thanks and walked through the doorway.
Shego found herself holding her breath as Anne walked into her office. Sure, Kim had told her about Anne, and sure, through pictures and screens she had seen Anne and her powers, but having the person whose existence changed everything about your existence walk through the door was an extraordinary situation and to say Shego was apprehensive was to put it mildly.
Anne came in, noted the visitor's chair in front of the desk and sat down in it. She knew this conversation might take a while and she had no desire to stand. After she sat, she studied the woman across from her. The few pictures Ma had really didn't do her justice, and this close, there was no doubt that Daddy was not her father. Anne quirked a grin. "Hi, I'm Anne," she said, figuring she might as well get the conversation started so she could explain why she was here. "And you must be Shego."
Shego came to at the sound of her voice, her tone a version of Kim's but with a slightly deeper pitch. "So I am," she agreed. She gave Anne the onceover and she shook her head. The kid was practically her with red hair, and though she knew she hadn't seen it because she hadn't been looking for it, the fact that she hadn't seen it before Kim told her irritated her. "I guess your mom told you about me," she guessed.
"I figured most of it out myself," Anne replied honestly. "But she did provide one or two critical details."
Shego chuckled when Anne delivered the last line with a wry smirk. She knew it was probably nepotism, but she liked this kid. "So why are you here?" Shego asked.
"Ma sent me," Anne replied. "She wanted me to talk to you."
"Why? To get to know your father, or something like that?" Shego asked, puzzled why Kim would want this now and seemingly all of a sudden.
"I have a dad; I don't need another one," Anne said, not to be hurtful but just to state the facts. "No, the reason Ma wanted me to talk to you was that my little sister needs a dad, and Ma was hoping you could be persuaded."
Shego's brow contracted. "Little sister?" she questioned. "But you only have brothers and they are Ron's kids."
"True, but as of about six hours ago I also have a little sister," Anne corrected.
"Kim had a baby?" Shego asked, perplexed. Anne nodded. "She was pregnant?" Shego clarified. Anne nodded again. "But she told me she and Ron were divorced."
Anne sighed; Shego's utter shock and confusion were making her miss the point. "She's not Daddy's," Anne stated.
"Then whose is…you have to be fucking kidding me," Shego sputtered, as all of the clues snapped together. "You're not saying the kid's mine."
"Of course she is," Anne said, unperturbed. "It happened once; why couldn't it happen again?"
Shego had to admit that was true, but impossible happening twice was unthinkably impossible, unless it happened again, of course. She shook her head; her thoughts were making even less sense that usual. "How long has Kim known she was mine?" she asked, as a thought that did make sense found its way to the surface.
"Since she found out she was pregnant," Anne admitted.
"Then why didn't she tell me?" Shego asked, looking at Anne questioningly.
Anne saw the hurt in Shego's gaze and her face turned serious. "Ma is one of the strongest and bravest people I know," she said quietly. "But from what I've seen, you are the one person in the world that can make her weak and scared. It's obvious she loves you so much, and all that has ever done is hurt her. She kinda recovered from it once, but then she and Daddy got divorced, you were miraculously alive but still evil and then came my sister. It's a lot to deal with and I think that even as strong as she is, she couldn't handle it all. So, she didn't want to add another complication by telling you, even though she knew it was wrong. Seeing my sis made her rethink that, though."
Shego's thoughts chased themselves around her head. One part begged her to go see Kim and their new baby, realizing that Anne had a point and not caring that Kim hadn't told her. Another part screamed at her to forget what was happening now; the time machine was ready and none of this was actually going to come to be. Still other thoughts told her that she should be angry and hate Kim for not telling her about their other daughter. One voice was the loudest, though, and that was the one she went with. "Give me a few minutes," she requested. "I've been working in the shop and I need a bath before we can head down to Middleton."
Anne smiled; she knew the lure of Ma and their new baby would be too much to resist. "Yes, yes you do," she agreed, having noticed Shego's somewhat disheveled and noisome appearance from the moment she walked in. Shego raised an eyebrow at Anne's cheek. Anne smiled and Shego shook her head, heading for her quarters and her shower.
When she was ready, they left Headquarters for Anne's hovercraft and took off into the Arctic night. They didn't talk much on the way back to GJ; their relationship was still too new and the situation too awkward for jovial discourse. When they got closer, Anne put the hovercraft on autopilot and left her seat to rummage around in the back cargo compartments. She found what she was looking for and returned to her seat, tossing the packet to Shego as she disengaged the auto-pilot. "What's this?" Shego asked, opening the packet.
"A GJ maintenance worker uniform," Anne answered. "We are flying into the hangar, which is a little less secure than the front door, but you would still be noticed if you weren't in a GJ uniform."
"Won't I be noticed anyway?" Shego inquired wryly. "How many fifty-year old, pale-green mechanics do you guys have?"
"Just put on the suit and leave the rest to me," Anne said simply. Shego shrugged but did what she was told and was dressed and ready to go when they landed. Anne touched her earbud. "Tony," she said into the microphone. She waited a few seconds. "Hey Beautiful," she said when she heard the voice she wanted on the other side. "Do you think you could come down to the hangar and help me with Ma's present?" she asked. A few more seconds passed as Tony answered in the affirmative and offered further assistance. "Excellent. I'll see you in a few," Anne said, signing off.
"I was engaged to her father at one time, you know," Shego mentioned.
"You were engaged to Dr. Lipsky?" Anne asked incredulously. From what little she knew of Shego that seemed like a bad match.
"Yeah, but I was only using him to get to your mother," Shego admitted.
Anne chuckled. That made more sense. "Well, for a lot of reasons, I'm glad you didn't marry him," she said. She got up and pushed the button by the door, extending the gangplank. She peered out and smiled when she saw Tony and Ernie entering the hangar. "Hey guys," she greeted them as they came onboard. "Meet Ma's present."
Anne's oldest friend and future wife looked at her passenger. "Nice to meet you, ma'am," Ernie said politely, extending a hand.
"No one calls me ma'am," Shego informed him. "Either call me Shego or Boss. Bitch will work too."
Ernie quirked an eyebrow. "Nice to meet you, Shego," he said, with a smile.
Shego chuckled. "So how am I getting out of here without getting arrested?" she asked Anne.
"You're walking out of here with us," Anne said. "There is only one guard on duty in the hangar at this time of night and these two already took care of him. If you are with us and have a uniform, no one else will look closely enough to realize that they don't know you."
"That's it?" Shego said dubiously.
"Yup. Let's go," Anne said cheerfully. She left the craft and the other two followed her. Shego gave them a look, but walked out behind them. Ernie and Tony took up flanking positions while Anne went in front. Just as Anne had predicted, no one stopped them or even really looked in their direction and soon they reached the medical ward. Tony and Ernie broke off and went back to the waiting room to distract everyone as Anne quickly led Shego down the hallway and to the empty room next to Kim's.
"Wait here a second; I'll be right back," she promised. Shego nodded and Anne left. She took a quick look down the hallway before quickly opening the door and slipping into Kim's room. Her mom looked up in apprehension when she came in and Anne smiled in reassurance. "She's next door," she said, and her smile got wider when her mother calmed down considerably. Anne claimed her sleeping sibling from her bassinet and carefully opened the door, surprised when her mother stayed on the bed. "Aren't you coming?" she asked.
"Shego came, but she wants to see her not me," Kim said, having thought about this a lot when Anne was gone. "She might want to see me eventually, but right now, she is probably still pissed at me and I don't want to ruin her first moments meeting her daughter."
"I think you underestimate her, Ma," Anne replied, giving her mother a look. "But okay." She eased out the door into the hallway just long enough to move the one door down and to get the door open. Another second and she was in the not-so-empty room that held Shego. Shego jumped up in alarm when she came in and Anne chuckled. "Here," she said, carefully holding out the sleeping infant. "Meet your new daughter." Shego hesitantly put out her arms and Anne placed the baby in them. As soon as she felt confident that Shego wasn't going to drop her, Anne turned towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Shego asked in a mild panic. Babies were not her thing.
"I 'm going to give you two some time to get acquainted," Anne said. "If you're afraid you'll break her, I can send Ma into help you."
Shego thought about that. She was desperate to see Kim but she wanted a little time alone with her new daughter. "I think I'm okay. If I need her, I'll go next door," she decided.
Anne smiled. "I'll let her know," she said happily.
Not trusting herself to remain standing, Shego retreated to the bed, sitting down carefully as not to wake the baby. She was scared shitless, and became even more so when the baby started to stretch as she woke up. Little arms came out from underneath the blanket and Shego panicked, convinced the infant was going to fall right out of her arms. A few seconds passed and she remained safe, allowing Shego to start breathing again, but to only a few seconds later hold it in again when tiny, unfocused eyes blinked open.
It was at that point that Shego forgot to be scared. She could only focus on those beautiful eyes and that sweet face looking up at her. She captured one of the little hands that had escaped and looked it over, kissing it gently before letting it fall gently back to the blanket. The baby yawned, and Shego smiled, feeling an unfamiliar tightness in her chest at the adorable sight. Unable to help it, she drew the baby up and kissed her on the forehead, and the infant's baby-soft hair tickled her nose when she brought her back down. It was only then that she realized what color it was, and Shego took off her baby's cap to get a better look. "This is really is my little angel," she thought, all doubt gone.
Shego replaced her cap, and another crystal-clear thought asserted itself. "If you go back, she won't exist," a clear voice in her head told her. Shego looked down at the baby in anguish, realizing the voice was correct.
"But we've worked so hard and it's finally done and I am going to fix all of this," Shego protested, speaking out loud trying to silence that voice.
"If you go back, she won't exist," the voice repeated.
"Well, that's okay, right?" Shego replied, still trying to convince the voice in her head. "I mean, it will be 20 years ago. She's proof that Anne wasn't a fluke and we can have another one just like her. Couldn't we?"
"Probably," the voice agreed. "But it won't be her."
"Then I'll take her back with me," Shego decided. "We can raise her and Anne at the same time."
"If you interfere in the past, none of this will come to be," the annoyingly-logical voice pointed out. "She will disappear as soon as you change something."
"Who gives a fuck about this kid anyway?" a third voice chimed in. "Kim has done nothing but lie to us and cheat on us. How in the hell do we even know it is ours? I say take the opportunity we've been given and blow GJ up. We take Kim out, we take out all of GJ and then we can get back to being the Boss."
"Fuck being the Boss," Shego spat, silencing that voice immediately. She closed her eyes, trying to tune out the voices that were badgering her from all sides. She couldn't, and finally it became too much. "Shut up!" she screamed aloud, forgetting that she still held the baby.
The loud noise startled the newborn and she started to cry. The loud, plaintive wail cut through the room and through Shego's tempestuous thoughts and Shego came back to herself. She cuddled and rocked the baby, attempting to calm her down, but the baby was not in the mood to be comforted. Much to Shego's dismay, she started to cry harder, and she raised her little fists to her face and started to shake them in indignation, a green glow forming around them when the crying started to become particularly pronounced.
Shego's eyes widened when she saw the glow. She reached out a hand to capture one of the pissed-off little fists and smiled when she confirmed that there was actually light coming from her baby's hands. "Not bad, little angel," Shego said in admiration. According to Kim, Anne hadn't done this until she was five. "Mommy can do it better, though," she confided, sending light but not heat to her fingertips. Their two hands glowed together for a few seconds, the newborn's tiny hand cradled in Shego's much larger one, as Shego continued to rock her.
Eventually, the gentle motion calmed the baby down, and her little hands stopped glowing. Soon thereafter, she also stopped crying, and Shego blew a small sigh of relief. The baby started to drift off, tired after the outburst, and Shego looked toward the door, tempted to go next door and give the baby back to Kim before she could start crying again. The temptation just lasted until she looked down, saw that little hand still in hers and realized the last thing she wanted to do was let her go.
This kid needed her, she realized. Anne had been mellow enough for her powers not to be an issue, but this little one already had a temper and she would need someone to teach her about her powers. Kim couldn't do it; she didn't have any powers. Anne might be able to, but she was grown and getting married; it wouldn't be fair to put that kind of burden on her. No, Shego decided, she had to be the one to be there for her, and as she thought about, Shego realized she wanted to be the one that her little angel could rely on. She thought about Anne's picture frame, the one where Ron had been in almost every picture and knew that was what she wanted to be for this baby.
But what about her time machine, she thought. What about all she had done so she and Kim could start over, so she would never be the Boss and take innocent lives, so that she, Kim and Anne could be a family? Was she so readily going to give it up? She sighed. And what about Kim, her mind persisted. Kim hadn't told her about this baby. Did she really want to sacrifice everything she had done to commit to a woman who had kept this kind of information from her? She sighed again, and the clear voice that had started it all piped up again. "She didn't tell you because you are still bat-shit crazy, as evidenced by the fact that you are having this conversation with two halves of yourself," the voice calmly pointed out. "Make whatever choice you will, but don't blame Kim for making the right decision." Shego sighed again. She really had no idea what to do. Noticing the baby was asleep, she thought it was probably wise to put her back into her crib. She got up off the bed and left the room.
Kim looked up as the door to her room opened and Shego emerged holding their infant. They looked at one another for several moments before Kim found the nerve to speak. "I'm sorry, Shego," she said, her voice quiet. "I should have told you, but somehow, I just couldn't."
"Don't be sorry, Princess," Shego said, just as quietly. "You had your reasons, and it's not like I haven't done worse." She put the baby down into her bassinet and Kim got up off her bed to come stand by her. They looked at their sleeping daughter for a few minutes more and Kim hesitantly put her arm around Shego's waist. Shego reciprocated and drew Kim in, and Kim put her head down on Shego's shoulder.
"Is any of this real, Shego?" Kim asked, her tone still quiet in deference to the sleeping baby. "Has any of it been real? So many times I thought I had my life figured out, but then you show up, completely change things and disappear like some sort of apparition, leaving me to wonder if you happened at all."
"We've got living proof that it happened at least twice," Shego pointed out, half-serious, half-joking.
Kim looked up at her. "I'm serious, Shego," she chided.
"I know and I was attempting to be," Shego answered. They stood in silence for a little while longer while both thought about their situation and certain realities. Shego thought about her time machine, and based on Kim's last statement, she knew there was a question she wanted to ask. "If I hadn't disappeared, do you think we could have been happy?" she asked Kim.
Kim thought about that. "I think we could have," she decided. "Or, at the very least, with the way that we both are, we would have tried our very best."
Shego thought about that. "If there was a way to go back and fix things so that I knew about Anne and didn't disappear to become the Boss, would you want me to use it?"
Kim looked up at her, her eyebrow arching. "You didn't fix the time machine, did you?" she asked apprehensively.
"No, of course not," Shego lied smoothly. "But I could try to fix it if that was what you wanted."
"I could never want that, Shego," Kim said truthfully after a few seconds' thought. "At the very least I would lose three of my children, but, even besides that, so much could go wrong with so many different things that it's not worth it. I will fully admit that the last twenty years of my life have not been perfect, but I did enough good for the world and I was happy enough that I don't regret living them."
"But if I knew, then I wouldn't become the Boss," Shego countered. "All of those innocent lives could have been spared."
"Very true," Kim admitted. "And that's why I don't want that time machine rebuilt. I never want to have to decide between my kids' lives and the lives of others because I know the others would lose and that goes against everything I am as an officer of GJ."
At those words, Shego took a deep breath and smiled. If Kim was able to admit that she would choose her kids over everyone else, then she could too. Fuck the time machine and fixing things, she thought. She didn't have to go into the past to find her family. It was right here. "Have you given her a name yet?" she asked, changing the subject abruptly.
Kim noted the subject change but let it pass without comment. She was uncomfortable with talking about the time machine; she thought it was a horrible idea, and if Shego was thinking about it, it also made her less inclined to think that Shego was sane. "I decided on her name awhile back," she replied. "I named her Juliet Akiko Possible after both of our grandmothers. I always wanted to name my next daughter after Nana, and Akiko not only honors yours, but is appropriate because she was going to be born in the fall."
"You know who my grandmother was?" Shego asked, surprised.
"I'm the head of GJ, Shego," Kim reminded her. "You did a good job of hiding your family, but I have Wade."
"Good point," Shego said wryly.
"Do you like it?" Kim asked. "Because we can change it."
"No, keep it," Shego answered. "I like it."
Kim smiled. "So did I, except that it makes her initials 'JAP'. I hope that doesn't become an issue."
Shego frowned. "Her initials are 'JAP'?" she echoed. Kim nodded, worried that Shego was upset about the racial connotations. Shego's scowl got deeper as she tried to remember something. Those letters were significant somehow, and not just in the racial slur way. She thought harder but all of her efforts had been so engrossed with the time machine of late that she had trouble remembering…wait, her mind ordered. Those letters had something to do with the time machine, she realized, as thinking about the machine triggered her memory and more tellingly, her anger. It took a few seconds more, but then she remembered why those letters were significant and why they pissed her off. Those, along with the number four, had been the etchings on the ruined part that had sabotaged the time machine the first time around.
"What's wrong, Shego?" Kim asked, concerned and not liking the look on her face.
"I suddenly have a very bad headache," Shego replied honestly. It wasn't possible, was it? Had she really sabotaged her own machine, knowing all the while that she would drive herself insane, just so her kid could exist? She was already devoted to her little angel sure, but that was a hell of a lot of self-sacrifice. She sighed. There was only way to find out if she had actually done it, and that was to see that fucking part again. Luckily, knowing DD, he had ignored her order and probably had it stashed somewhere. "I have to go now, Princess," she said regretfully, reaching out and putting her arms around Kim. "It's complicated, but there is something that I have to do. I don't know how long I will be gone, but I promise you that I will be back, if you promise to wait for me."
"And what happens when you get back?" Kim asked, wanting to know what she was getting into if she promised.
"We're going to get married and raise our kid," Shego answered promptly.
"Then I'll wait for you forever," Kim answered. Shego smiled and kissed Kim deeply. Kim kissed back, and it wasn't until Anne came into the room that they remembered where they were and embarrassedly broke apart.
Anne smirked. "Sorry; didn't mean to interrupt," she apologized, still smirking.
"Actually, you're just the person I needed to see," Shego said. "I need you to take me back home."
"Everything okay?" Anne inquired. Everything sure looked okay, but you never knew.
"Yeah, there is just something up there that I need," Shego explained.
"Okay, I can take you back," Anne agreed.
Shego gave Kim one last kiss before she left. "I'll be back this time, Princess; I swear it," she promised.
"You'd better be," Kim warned, as she kissed back. Shego gave her one last smile as she hurried out the door after Anne.
The trip back was inconsequential, and after Shego had thanked Anne for the ride and assured her that she didn't need one back, she went inside Headquarters to track down DD. She found him on the time machine production floor and promptly asked for what she was looking for. "Where's the old amplifier out of the time machine?" she asked sternly.
"I got rid of it, Boss, just like you told me," DD lied.
"Bullshit," Shego stated. "Where is the fucking part, DD?"
DD fidgeted and reached into the spare parts box under his desk. He handed it to her. "Here you go, Boss," he said penitently.
Shego took it, rotating it to look at the scorch marks that scarred its surface. Damn it, it sure looked like her handiwork. She turned it to the less-burnt side, the one that had the initials. She lit up her right hand and touched it to the surface, unsurprised when the undamaged metal started to look like the damaged metal on the other side. She looked at the initials again and sighed. Apparently, yes, she had been stupid enough to sabotage her own machine for the sake of her baby girl. "Fuck," she swore.
She sat down on the production floor and stared at the cube for a while more while her thoughts continued to race. She thought and thought, trying to find a way around going back and screwing herself over, but there just wasn't one. If she didn't go back, the time machine would work the first time around. If the time machine worked, her past self would go even further back in the past to correct the misunderstanding about Anne and thus obliterate the future that had become their past and destroy their present future in the process. Or some fucked-up, time-paradoxical shit like that.
What is she went back and just told herself not to use it, she wondered. That way, she wouldn't have to go crazy, people wouldn't die, Kim's boys would exist and they could still have Juliet, although in order for it to be Juliet they would have to wait awhile. That could work, Shego thought, before realizing it probably wouldn't. If she went back and told herself, then her present self wouldn't exist to go back to tell her past self and there was a possibility that the machine could get used anyway. Or even if she was over thinking the temporal mechanics, there was the real possibility that her technically not-crazy-but-still-obsessed past self wouldn't believe her and would use the damn thing anyway.
As Shego debated with herself, the calm, clear voice that had been chastising her all day decided to make one last point. "If you change anything about the past, you won't keep your promise to Kim," it said simply and then remained quiet.
Shego sighed and hurled the part across the production floor. "DD, fire up the time machine," she ordered. DD gave her a look but said nothing, doing what he was told. The machine came on the door slid open. Shego went in and the door closed behind her. DD had given the control over to her panel and after she had charged up the batteries, she programmed the date into the computer. As she punched, she thought about going all the way back to the day she got out the hospital, the day that had for so long been the day that she had planned to change. She wouldn't change anything, but she would just go, just to say she had. That was a bad idea, she decided quickly. She had made the decision in Kim and Juliet's room to finally let go of the past, but she didn't trust herself enough to tempt her newly-determined resolve like that.
Her coordinates punched in, Shego pressed the launch button. The machine powered up and Shego held her breath. The machine began to vibrate and then glow. On the outside, DD kept checking his panel, waiting for the moment when this was all going to go horribly wrong. It didn't and suddenly a brilliant flash of light flooded the production floor. When he could actually see again, DD blinked. The Boss and the time machine were gone.
Hyperkinetic Syndicate Arctic Headquarters – 7 years ago
Shego cracked open an eye, looking around tentatively. Well, she was still in the cockpit of the time machine, and unless God had a really fucked-up sense of humor, she didn't suppose this was what the afterlife looked like, so she probably wasn't dead. Now the question was where and when she actually was. She pushed a button on her control panel and the door slid open. Icy snow blew in from the outside, and that encouraged Shego that she was at least in the proper location. She hopped out into the snow, and smiled when she saw the front door to Headquarters only a few paces away. Good, she thought; at least one thing went right. She unlocked the door with the general access code, quickly getting herself inside out of the cold. She found the nearest computer bay and logged in. She waited impatiently for the date and time to pop up, and when it did, she allowed herself a small moment of pride. The damn thing had actually worked.
She logged out and carefully made her way down the corridors to the production floor where the time machine was being built. She had chosen her time very carefully; she remembered this as being one of the few times where the floor was completely empty. After looking around to make sure that she was in fact alone, Shego walked over to her machine and accessed the panel that housed the amplifier. She pulled out the amplifier, but before she destroyed it she asked herself again why she was destroying it. "I don't want to go crazy, I don't want to become the Boss and I don't want to hate Kim and Anne. If I destroy this thing, all of that is going to happen," she said aloud.
"True, but if you destroy it you might have the chance to marry Kim, raise a beautiful little girl and be happier than you've ever been in your entire life," her voice answered back. "But, then again, it does suck to be crazy, so I guess it is up to you, Mad Hatter." Shego turned around and stared in shock as another Shego emerged from the shadows.
"Who the hell are you?" Shego asked, just to clarify.
"You. Isn't that obvious?" the other Shego retorted.
Yup, that was her, Shego decided. "Why are you here?" she asked.
"Because you're crazy and the stress has induced hallucinations, Bats in the Belfry," the other Shego said dismissively. "You don't know whether to choose madness and a future with Kim and your kid or choose obsession and an uncertain future. It's driving you even crazier that you already are."
Shego scowled at her. "Have you been the fucking voice that has been bugging me all day?" Shego asked as other Shego's tone seemed suddenly familiar.
"Yup, that was all me, Loony Tunes," the other version of her admitted. "But I'm all you, so really you were just talking to yourself."
If it had been someone else talking to a hallucination of herself, this might have been funny, Shego decided, but being in the middle of it sucked. And she still didn't know what to do. Should she sacrifice past Shego's future for her own or should she give them both an uncertain future? "Our past is past and we've already lived through it," the other Shego reminded her. "Let it stay in the past and give us a future we know we want." Shego looked at her and realized that was the best advice she had ever given herself. She was hesitant, but she took at deep breath and proceeded to destroy the amplifier. She lit up and within minutes she had charred it to a crisp, torn away one of the sides and destroyed the interior workings, and etched the all-important markings on the less-burnt side. She replaced it and looked at her other self. "Thanks for all of the advice," Shego said begrudgingly grateful.
Her other self smiled. "Well, here's some more: when you get back, go to a fucking shrink," she advised. She winked, turned and disappeared.
Shego shook her head and took one last look at her time machine. She sighed, still unsure about her decision, but then she turned her back on it and made her way back to her own time machine. She programmed it, pushed the button and with a flash she was back on the production floor in her own time.
The door slid open and DD came rushing in. "Boss, are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine, DD," she assured him. "Kinda."
"Kinda?" he questioned. "Didn't it work?"
"It worked," Shego replied.
"Then why is now exactly how it was?" he asked, puzzled.
"Long story," Shego said shortly. She got up from the chair and exited the machine and DD followed. She turned to DD. "I don't want to go into it, but I've got shit to do now, DD," she said. "I'm going to be leaving for a while."
"As long as the last time we tried to use this thing?" he asked.
"I hope not," Shego said quickly. "And when I do come back, we are probably going to be closing down shop. And while I'm gone, I want you to destroy the time machine."
"You're the Boss, Boss," DD said, a little confused but never one to question her orders. "We'll be here whenever you come back."
"Thanks, DD," Shego said, giving him a hug. DD was shocked, but he hugged her back. They parted and Shego gave him a pat on the back. She took one last look around and much as she had in the past, she turned and left without looking back.
The End
A/N: So originally, this is where the story was supposed to end, but, after rereading the whole thing, I realize that that you guys deserve better, because this story was damn depressing. So, if you like the way it ended, you can stop reading. If you are looking for a slightly more traditional happy ending, then I would read the epilogue.
Epilogue – The Middleton Country Club, mid-November
Shego fidgeted, trying to get used to the feel of the new suit she was wearing. She really didn't think she should really be going to this thing anyway; in spite of her invitation, she wasn't sure if she was welcome and she knew she didn't belong. But none of that had mattered to DD. As soon as she had gotten out of the loony bin and made her way back to Headquarters, he had handed her the invite and sent her to be fitted for the suit she was now wearing. And, a few days later, when it was finished, he made her get ready, turned a deaf ear to her protests and loaded her into a hovercraft, dropping her off in front of the country club with an admonition to have a good time.
It wasn't that she didn't want to see her ladies; Anne, Juliet and especially Kim had been on her mind constantly. It was just that she was hoping for a nice, quiet, intimate reunion at Kim's house and instead she was one of five hundred people that were here for the wedding of the year. Quiet and intimate it was not going to be, and if Shego hadn't had such a desire to at last be there for one of Anne's life-changing events, she never would have let DD sucker her into this.
She took a deep breath and made her way toward the entrance. Security was tight, and she had to wait for a few minutes as people's credentials were checked. In spite of her nerves, she managed a small grin. This was an odd set of people, that was for damn sure, as she saw GJ officers waiting in line with the Seniors and the Killigans. At last her turn came and she stepped up to Security, handing them her invitation.
"Thank you, ma'am," the GJ agent said, taking it and putting it through the scanner. He frowned as Shego's information popped up. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but you didn't RSVP. Without the prerequisite security check, we can't let you in."
"She's with Madame Director," a voice informed him. "And if you don't let her in, she will put you on information desk duty until you retire."
The agent looked up to see Dr. Load, the head of CSS standing right behind him. "But sir, she hasn't been checked," he protested.
"She doesn't need to be," Wade told him sternly. "I will vouch for her myself." The agent looked conflicted, but he wasn't going to contradict a section head. He waved Shego through and Wade nodded. He took Shego by the arm and led her down a corridor before he spoke. "I take it Kim doesn't know you are coming?" he asked.
"I didn't know I was coming until a few days ago," Shego admitted.
"Then we should probably tell her now, rather than just have you show up at the ceremony," he decided. He smiled as he led her down a different corridor. "It's good to see you, Shego," he said. "It's been a long time."
Shego smiled back at him. "Too long," she agreed.
Wade smiled and then stopped short, coming to a halt in front of a door. He knocked and a voice answered. "Who is it?" it asked.
'Wade," he replied. "I have someone who needs to see you, Kim."
"Does it have to be right now?" she asked through the door.
"It's very urgent," Wade confirmed.
Kim sighed, wondering if the disparate guest list was coming back to haunt them. She opened the door and glared at Wade. "Well, who is it?" she demanded.
"Someone who forgot to RSVP," he said, stepping aside to reveal Shego. He saw the look that was Kim giving Shego and he decided to make his exit. "Bye, Kim," he said with a smile before he turned and left.
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you…" Shego began.
"Are you back to stay?" Kim interrupted her, moving in closer.
"I'll be here as long as you'll have me," Shego replied, taking a step closer herself.
"Then shut up," Kim ordered, pulling her into a kiss.
Shego chuckled as her arms went around Kim, and the smile didn't leave her face for the remainder of the evening. She had her princess, she had her family and the past no longer had any control over her.