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xoxo Tris4Eaton
Tobias
"I knew it!" Tris screams at me as she slams our apartment door shut.
I'm slightly tipsy after losing count of how many beers I had tonight, so the sudden loud noise echoes in my head. She's more volatile than she used to be. I partly blame myself for that. I'm the one that taught her how to be that way. But mostly I blame the war.
"There's nothing going on between me and Nita," I sigh. "I kissed you, didn't I? I can't help it if she's delusional."
"She didn't get that way by herself, Tobias," she glares.
"Peter kissed you," I point out. "Should I accuse you of having something going on with him?"
"I hate his guts! You know better than that," she says defensively.
"Well. okay then," I say sitting down on the couch. "Same goes here."
"Obviously you don't hate her if you brought her back here."
"I only brought her here because I thought she might be useful. If things got bad, she could help us because.." I stop short.
If I admit the real reason that I brought her here, I will sound like a monster. If I admit the real reason that I brought her here, I will sound like my parents. If I admit the real reason that I brought her here, it will be out in the open that I am just like them. And Tris will know it.
"Because what?" she huffs. "How would she be useful, Tobias?"
"Because she's expendable! Happy!?" I yell. "If things got bad, we could send her into the dangerous situations. I wouldn't have to risk losing you again. You wouldn't have to risk your life anymore. You wouldn't have to struggle with whether or not to send Caleb. She's expendable."
The look on her face is one I've never seen before. Her eyes are wide and her lips are slightly parted as if she's going to say something but no sound will come out. Her nose is flared just slightly and parts of her skin are flushed while other parts are burning hot.
"Tobias," is all she says.
"I don't want to talk about it," I say crossing my arms.
At that moment I feel like a Dauntless child who has just been denied a second piece of cake; throwing a mild tantrum, refusing to speak to their parents, as if it's going to change their mind. I know this won't change Tris's mind, but I have nothing else to work with.
"Thank you," she says timidly, sitting down beside me slowly.
I look over and see her glossy eyes staring into mine. She reaches out and touches her hand to my cheek. She pulls me closer and suddenly her lips are on mine.
"Tobias," she says when she breaks the kiss, her lips still touching mine.
"Hmm," I respond, enjoying the feeling of having her here with me when she was gone for so long.
"I need to know. I need to know what happened here while I was in the lab, and while I was in the hospital,"she says.
"Christina and I, we changed the plan a little," I sigh. "We knew that if stopping the reset was successful, Evelyn and Marcus would still be fighting. We knew the Evelyn would release the death serum and a lot of people would die. So we decided that I was going to reset one of them. Somehow I decided that it would be Evelyn. But when I went there, I couldn't do it. I don't know why. So I let her choose between the city and me. She chose me. We met with Marcus and Johanna, and they all came to the agreement to get rid of the factions. Evelyn was supposed to leave the city and Marcus was to have no part in the government. So then we all went back to the compound. We thought everything was okay. Matthew started teaching everyone what we wanted them to know. Amar was furious at first, but then the more evidence we gave him, he eventually saw the light. He started helping Matthew. Shortly after, we all decided to return to the city to see how things were going. Marcus had taken over the government, and Evelyn was hiding out in Erudite headquarters. Johanna and the other members of the Allegiant had been locked up. We had to remove Marcus from the city and establish a new way of life. People weren't adjusting to life without the factions very well. So we came up with a new system."
"Which is what?" she asks, her eyes wide.
"The factions are now more like job titles. People can live anywhere they want. and dress how they want, but the job that they chose defines what faction they're apart of. They go to that faction to work and then they return to wherever they choose to call home."
"So what happened to Evelyn?" she asks me, her eyes staring through me as if she already knows.
"She's here," I pause, "in Dauntless. She and I, we've been trying to bury the hatchet."
"Just like that? After all she did, you're just going to let it all go?" her voice raises.
"No, Tris," I sigh. "I'm not just letting it all go. But we're working on it."
"And what else have you been working on, Tobias? Nita?"
"There's nothing going on between me and Nita!" I yell. "The first night that we came back here, I was down in the pit. I don't know how many drinks I'd had, I lost count. I was thinking about you, how you were laying in that hospital bed. All of a sudden, Nita's sitting beside me. We started talking, but the more I talked, the more I missed and wanted you. And the more I drank. She tried to take advantage of that. She said that she would help me back to my apartment, but instead we ended up at hers. She tried to get me inside, but I said no. Then she tried to kiss me. I shoved her away. I don't want her, Tris. I never have. All I want is you. And even when I wasn't sure that I was ever going to get to have you again, the thought of being with anyone else made me sick. I love you so much, Tris. More than anything. You're the only person that I have ever felt I belonged with, that I've ever felt right with. I'm alive with you, Tris. You're the only reason I'm still living. You gave me something to live for. If it hadn't been for you, I don't know where I would be right now. You give me the strength to keep going. You are everything to me."
Tears are falling down her cheeks and she's biting her lip to keep herself quiet, the way I've seen her do so many times before. I take her into my arms and hold her there for what feels like hours. I run my hands through her hair and tangle my fingers into it as I kiss her. She wraps her arms around my neck and before I know what's happening, I'm carrying her to the bedroom. I lay her on the bed gently, my body hovering over her, her lips still on mine. She slides her hands to the hem of my shirt and slowly pulls it up and over my head. I pull hers off as well and throw it to the side, my eyes taking in her perfect body.
"Tobias," she sighs against my mouth.
"I know," I pause, "you don't want to go too fast."
"No," she shakes her head, biting her lip. "I'm ready."