Wooo woo chapter number ten! ^_^ just an fyi, that the drama surrounding Jacob and the wolves will be kept to a minimum, because that's not the focus of my story, I feel like in the original twilight books there was too many little 'sub stories' centred around the bella/jacob relationship, so I'm trying to keep away from that. Thanks for your support so far!

Edward pov

I'm lied on the couch, flicking lazily through tv channels when Jasper runs through the door, and bounds up the stairs to Carlisle's study, and as he passes by I catch a glimpse of his face, distorted with fear, anger and confusion. So I follow him.

"Carlisle" he's breathing heavily, resting his head against the wall "I can't do this, Carlisle. I gotta go, I have to leave, back to Texas or Maria or something I can't stay here, I just can't" Carlisle isn't flustered, just folds over the page in his book and sets it on the desk before turning to Jasper with concern in his eyes "Mind telling me why, son?" he asks, walking over to place a hand on his shoulder "I'm sure everyone would respect your decision, but we should talk about this first.." he clenches his eyes shut, shoulders shaking, and if he were human, I'm sure he'd be crying.

"I tried to bite her, Carlisle" he chokes out, running slowly through the story in his mind, for my benefit. I feel sick, but after analysing the sight I see it wasn't a move driven by thirst, but desire. He didn't want to bite her. He wanted to mark her. I keep this thought to myself, exchanging an eyebrow raise with Carlisle, hoping he'd see the same thing. "I- I could have killed her! I'm not safe, not for her not for anyone, I have to go!" Carlisle sighs, moves around to sort a stack of books "Was it to draw blood..." he starts, his minds eye already moving to an older Bella as a vampire "Or to mark her" he finishes, turning his head back towards him.

At that suggestion, Jasper punches the wall, growling obscenities and grabbing Carlisle's collar "What right does that give me?" he yells, shaking his body "She's just a girl! I could have killed her!" Carlisle just shrugs out of his grip, shaking his head "But you didn't, Jasper, you did the right thing and realized what you were doing before it was too late. Isn't that just a sign you should stay? That you need her?" he skirts around the word mate, clearly not wanting to startle him.

His face twists, and he runs a hand through his hair "she deserves better, Carlisle" he reasons "she can do so much better" Carlisle frowns, pats his shoulder "Jasper, if it hurts you to be away from her, then it hurts her to be away from you. Don't forget that. She needs you as much as you need her, and I know you're a good enough person not too put her through such pain just because you think 'she can do better'" with that, he grabs his doctors coat and makes the excuse that he'll be late for work before leaving the house.

There's a knock at the door. The smell of vanilla, books and cherry cola. Jasper shakes his head at me "Leave it, Edward." I raise an eyebrow, heading out the room "If you don't answer it I will..."

He growls, shoves past me muttering about instability and putting innocent girls in danger.

Jasper POV (warning a few paragraphs down might be triggering to you)

I storm over to the door, taking a deep breath to steady myself, then realizing the mistake when hit with cherry cola and divine blood smell. So, I grit my teeth, set my shoulders and after putting on my face sincere apology face I opened the door.

There she stands. My blind angel... Vampire. Wearing a black cape with red lining, false plastic fangs with her arms raised up. I barely have time to register what's going on before a breeze whips past and the cape blows forward over her head.

I have to laugh. She's trying to tell me she knows I'm a vampire in the most adorable way, and it's all going to pot. She sighs, pulls the cape off and takes out the teeth, shrugging her shoulders "Okay... So that pretty much blew. I guess the point of.. whatever this stupid fucking impulse was is that... Okay I thought the stories were just bull crap when Jacob told me them but.. They have their merit okay! And maybe I'm crazy and making a total idiot of myself but I can't ju-"

I kiss her then. Say damn it all and just kiss her. Because she is a girl, stood on my doorstep by a discarded vampire cape and plastic fangs, with pretty brunette hair and a face as stunning as her personality. She deserves a kiss. It's fumbling and a little awkward to start, since she's mid sentence and still trying to right her mouth after the plastic fangs, and she's stood a few feet away, but it's lovely. She's shocked for a moment, but steps forward and onto her tiptoes to wrap her arms around my shoulders, making a soft noise in the back of her throat.

"I don't care" she whispers, breathless and clinging onto my neck for balance "Whatever you are if I'm right or wrong I just don't care... I need you" I sigh, drop my head onto her shoulder "I could kill you" I argue "One swing of my arm and I could crush your skull" she just raises an eyebrow, and though there's definite fear, there's also certainty and determination... Affection. "Boy you really know how to get a girl going huh" she jokes, pushing a hand through my tangled hair, chuckling into my ear "You could kill me." she repeats, her nails tracing light, distracting patterns across my neck "you could break my heart..." she smiles, her nails digging into my skin "or.. I could become one of your best memories in all the forever you have to live"

I sigh, pull her closer, my arms around her hips "I don't want memories" she looks confused for a moment, so I kiss the bridge of her nose, between her creasing eyebrows "I want you... but you have to go, you should go" Peter steps onto the porch, apparently hiding in the shadows "Don't make me punch you, dude. Any idea what this chick just did for you?" he pauses to ruffle her hair "Turns up at Bennie's, demanding to see me, of course, steps into my office, and asks outright if I'm a vampire. I say no, figuring it's something the two of you should talk about..." he reaches into his pocket, his face and mood turning sour as he pulls out what looks like a Stanley blade.

Bella cringes into my side, away from his glaring eyes "So she pulls this out and threatens to drag it across her wrist if I don't start talking. Then, I gave her a ride here obviously, because, y'know, she's crazy" She's clinging tightly to me now, as I try to create some distance so I can see her face. She's shaking her head, trying to turn away, grab for the blade, which Peter quickly crumbles in his hand when he sees her direction. Blinking back tears, she gathers her courage and looks me dead in the eyes. "you want all cards on the table? Fine. I used to self harm, and yes, I still know how to get hold of a blade when I need one, but I don't, not any more, I didn't even when I went to Peter, I just needed my answer and I needed it fast."

she sighs, rubbing the palms of her hands over her eyes "it was stupid, and dramatic but it got me here. To the vampire that I needed to know that I know is a vampire, but to be fair you did just try to bite me a while ago so you can't really talk down to me about this" she folds her arms, and Peter, always the one to try and lighten up any situation snaps his fingers in a z shape and shakes his head. I glare until he gets the message, turns around and leaves.

I take Bella's arm, walk her through the house and out to the back garden. "Okay dizzy love, okay.. You wanna talk? Let's talk" she sighs, rolls the sleeves of her shirt up to reveal shiny skin coloured thick, raised lines along her forearms, criss crossing over like crazy "It was years ago.." she starts "Anyway the bottom line is I went too far, passed out from blood loss and Renee found me, got me help, and anti depressants, and I got better."

my mind is overloaded, attacked with images of Bella, hair matted with dry blood, lying on the floor, out cold, eyes closed, hand curled around a deadly blade, blood slowly leaking from her arms. Bella, heart beating in a jerky rhythm, twirling a blade between her fingers before pressing it into her skin, slicing it across her arm. Hooked up to tubes, machines beeping in the hospital around her...

"Jasper? Jasper!" shaking my shoulders, cloudy eyes panicked and wide "Jasper! Say something! You sound like you're about to burst into tears or burn the fucking house down, snap out of it! Please!" I wrap an arm around her waist, crushing her body against mine, running a hand through her hair "I need you, too" the admittance is difficult, now she's stuck with me. She just chuckles, one hand splayed out across my back, her chest rising and falling subtly with each breath as she steps back to place both hands on my shoulders "You just gotta tell me.. Kay? If things are too rushed or something is too dangerous for us to do? I'll understand, you'll just be trying to keep me safe"

I hmm, kissing her forehead "We can talk more later, text when you want picking up from Angela's house and if you want after we can go back to your place and discuss things..." she frowns, but nods, tapping her nails against my shoulders.

Bella POV, Angela's house

"So.. Why exactly was I invited here under the guise of bio homework in the first place, Angie?" I ask, swinging my leg from the barstool chair she has in the kitchen as she bakes something that smells so fucking delicious I don't know weather I'll want to eat it or ask it out to dinner "Because you'd never come over otherwise, I may be quiet but I know a fellow introvert when I see one, and I knew having a broad circle of friends would help you settle in, plus you just seem pretty nice, so why not"

I'm taken back for a moment, un sure how to respond. There's a clutter, the click of an oven switch "Besides, I didn't know how much.. hold Jasper had" I must look pretty confused, so she continues "Bella the two of you exploded into this whole relationship pretty fast... This is a small town and people get suspicious.. Not that we're judging or anything! I just want to make sure everything is good" I laugh, shrug my shoulders "Angie I really like him, I promise everything is great" she laughs, sounding relived "good, good. Make sure it stays that way, right?"

an hour later

Angie pulls me into a quick, but tight hug "Come over again any time, Bellsie" she says, giggling as Jasper and I say our goodbyes and head to the car, no doubt on the way to one of the most daunting conversations i'll have in a long time.

I dislike that abrupt ending but it was on the verge of getting too long so yeah, this chapter was gonna go a totally different way but it does what it wants! This story isn't going to get too dark very often, but it will go there from time to time, so yeah