"Gin-chan."

"Heh?"

"You know, there's something bothering me for quite some time." Tsubasa told her 'boss'.

"Wha?"

"Why the hell are we performing in an Okama Bar?!" the reluctant lady snapped while trying her best to dance to the beat of the music. She might be a capable fighter but there is just something not right within her body when it comes to dancing. She seems to be unable to keep up with the beat of the music.

Always and constantly out of beat.

"Paako, please teach Mary how to dance properly, she is always out of beat." Azumi told Gintoki when they were done.

He thought Tsubasa is capable of dancing from his experiences with her hand-to-hand combat capabilities. However, when putting this blondie on stage with music is a disaster. She seems to lose all ability to coordinate movement of her limbs with the tempo of the background music and started jerking like a robot. He refuses to believe in her initial claim that she is incapable of dancing and dragged her along with Shinpachi and him.

She tripped and fell on her still-healing ribs on stage.

The idiot ended up serving customers who came to the Okama Bar.

"I thought you were Mary-Tsu*? Why can't you behave like one in any other fan fiction and dance so perfectly and gracefully that all the guests at the Okama Bar will fall in love with your charms and for once, earn us big bucks so that we can stop working for at least 5 chapters within this stupid fan fiction? Make your irritable and miserable existence here useful, at least to us, I don't care if the readers don't like Mary-Tsus who save the day but make it a point to make my life easier." Gintoki told the girl off on their way home.

"Hey, my stage name might be Mary-Tsu but not ALL Mary-Tsus have to perform perfectly in all aspects of life. Most Mary-Tsus nowadays are kickass Kami-Mode-Tsus who kick ass in battles. I fall in the Kami-Mode-Tsu* category. And most Kami-Mode-Tsus are not supposed to help useless men like YOU. Kami-Mode-Tsus are here to kick ass and be beautiful while making the 'cannon-emo-and-cool-dude-with-an-equally-troubled-past-as-hers' fall in love with her and have great sex to fulfill both the author and the readers' fantasies!" Tsubasa argued while clutching onto her aching rib.

"You look more like Failure-Obasan-Tsu now, Tsubasa-san." Shinpachi reminded while supporting her. She is in so much pain that she is incapable of moving properly without any form of support. Not that she enjoys being dependent on people (like most Tsus...); of ALL people she is leaning against one of the weakest person in Yorozuya to stand straight. Great. Good job.

"Shinpachi, I would be very happy if you leave out the 'Obasan' in the 'Failure-Obasan-Tsu'." She directed a glare at the bespectacled boy.

Gintoki scoffed at the useless girl who cannot walk properly after a minor trip on stage. Seriously, how in the world is this woman incapable of enduring something this minor? Is this some kind of joke? Given their physical exchanges, he doubted that Tsubasa is incapable of dealing with pain. Some Kami-Mode-Tsu that she claims to be.

For a person who had rarely suffered any injuries from battles in her life, even something seemingly minor like falling on a cracked rib is capable of rendering her incapable of walking properly. This is the sad fact of her life. Most injuries to the flesh heals so fast that she rarely feels pain and anything to the bones is enough to cripple her. She snapped her pinky finger once and the pain was enough to render the 'oh-so-strong' ANBU member unconscious.

This is the hard fact of being a 'Kami-Mode-Tsu'. Almost the slightest of pain dealt to the bones can render her incapable of thinking straight so she makes sure that her bones are not hurt during any fight. This means that she will have to be extremely fast in battle.

For someone like Gintoki who is in constant abuse by various female characters on almost a daily basis will not understand her pain. He must be so used to getting his bones broken that she doubts if he will ever feel pain when he gets his legs broken.

He will never be able to understand how much pain she is going through at this moment. Also, she swears that she could feel another crack on her ribs. She seriously wants to kill Gintoki for his lack of understanding for her situation.

"We're not Prinnies either. What's with all the names ending with 'tsu'?" Gintoki told them.

"Well, I just happen to want to break the fourth wall by having a good pun using 'Mary-Tsu'. It's not intended to be a double with the Disgea reference; just happens that my name begins with a 'Tsu' and it sounds nice when combined with Mary. Happy now, Kintoki?"

"Call me Kintoki one more time and I'll send you flying to Mt Ashigara*." Gintoki snapped.

"Missed your hometown?"

"Oh? You demon child of Tackey & Tsubasa*."

"HEY! I'M NOT RELATED TO THEM! MY OLD MAN IS NOT NAMED HIDEAKI*!"

Seriously, Shinpachi wished that these two can give his ears a break.

"Gin-san, Tsubasa-san, can both of you give it a rest?"

"NO!" both yelled.

"Stupid tenpaa!"

"Blonde self-insert!"

"Electron dick!"

"Attention whore!"

"Forever Alone tenpaa!"

"Black Hole Sue!"

Shinpachi wonders why in the first place he ever bothered stopping them. It seems to him that this is the way Gintoki communicates with Tsubasa. There is no way these two can ever remain calm in a conversation for long. Tsubasa is too sensitive and Gintoki is the kind of person who finds faults in people really fast and start poking all of it hard. Given the usual Mary-Tsu personality, there is no way Tsubasa is going to give up on a verbal exchange against Gintoki to 'prove him wrong'. The only thing is, their arguments almost never have a conclusion; their fights ends with a draw mostly.

*Mary-Tsu sounds like 'Mary-Sue' no?

*Kami-Mode-Tsu: God Mode Sue.

*Mt Ashigara, the place where Sakata No Kintoki used to live with the Yama-uba until Minamoto No Yorimitsu rescued him.

*Tackey & Tsubasa, a boyband made up of Takizawa Hideaki (Tackey) and Imai Tsubasa by Johnny & Associates. Tsubasa's full name is 'Takizawa Tsubasa', a combination of Hideaki's family name (Takizawa) and Imai Tsubasa's given name (Tsubasa).

*Takizawa Hideaki...Takizawa Tsubasa...well, self-explanatory.