Chapter 10: Falling Down

"Welcome to Langley Comprehensive Rehabilitative Facility, ma'am." The young lieutenant spoke to Sam as she was being wheeled into her new room. It looked as she anticipated similar to the room where she had spent the last eight weeks.

"Thank you, lieutenant."

"Baker, ma'am. Lieutenant Baker. "If you need anything, press the call button. The physical therapist will be here at 1500 hours."

1500 hours arrived entirely too soon. "Colonel Carter?" She heard her name called but could not see anyone in the room until a baby face with blue eyes suddenly appeared in front of her. "Hi, I'm Jason. I'm going to be your physical therapist while you're here with us."

"Hi, Jason," she responded as she took in his appearance. He was tall and lanky with shaggy, sandy blonde hair. He looked as thought he should be on the beach surfing instead of working in a military hospital. "You're not military?"

"Civilian. I'm here to talk to you about your rehab."

"I'm not sure what kind of rehab I will be able to do, Jason, I've been flat on my back for eight weeks and I still have a cast on my arm." She held her arm up for visual effect.

He smiled at her. "Well, Sam, do you mind if I call you, Sam?" He continued talking without waiting for a response. "That's what I'm here for. You're getting you cast off tomorrow. It's time to get you up and about."

"Great…" She responded with much less enthusiasm.

She settled into a routine after her first two days of "torture" at the hands of her task master, Jason. Sam was sure that he had lied about being a civilian and was actually a drill sergeant. She thought this was the military's perverse way of getting back at her for something she did at some time she didn't remember doing. She began to think lying on her back had not been so bad after all.

Until she could get out of bed, her days were spent exercising and stretching and working her uncooperative limbs from eight weeks of immobility. Two weeks later she was being wheeled into an exercise room to begin walking again.

"Okay, Sam, we are going to take it slow and easy today." Jason, the drill sergeant in disguise, was informing her. "I'm going to wheel you in front of the bars and help you stand up then I want you to grab hold and try to take a couple of steps." He paused so she could gather her thoughts. "Ready?"

She responded reluctantly, "yeahsureyoubetcha." 'No she was not ready and where did that come from?'

"I know you are still in some pain, so try not to over do it the first time." He said as he helped her stand. "Let me know if you need any help or the pain is too much. I will be right here."

She stood and gripped the bars using all her strength to keep herself standing. Her newly healed arm trembled under the strain of trying to keep from falling flat on her face. The pain was too much but she would never admit to Jason as much. It radiated from her hip down her leg to the very tip of her toes. Sweat was already forming on her brow and she had not even tried to move forward.

"You're doing great, Sam." Jason encouraged her switching from drill sergeant to cheerleader.

She was not going to be able to hold her position much longer, so she took one hesitant baby step forward with her "good" right leg. 'So far so good.' She swung her braced left leg forward and attempted to put pressure on her leg. Agonizing pain ripped through her leg. She screamed in anguish as her unsteady arms gave out and she crumpled to the mat.

"Good morning, Sam." The voice was entirely too cheerful for her mood today.

Sam sat slumped in her bed arms crossed across her chest. "What's so good about it?" She knew she was acting like a petulant 5 year old.

"Another day another step toward recovery."

"Sorry, Jason, I'm done." After what happened yesterday, she was not going to make a fool of herself again.

Jason looked at her with a disapproving stare. "I never pegged you for a quitter, Sam."

"Sorry to disappoint you."

Frustration showed on his face. "Do you want to be handicapped? Do you want to use a cane for the rest of your life because you gave up after one failed try? Do you want to lose your career?"

"Did you read by medical file, Jason?" She responded angrily. "If you did, you would know how fucked my leg is. I have enough hardware in my pelvis and femur to open a hardware store. I have nerve damage and my knee is a wreck. My future is not bright." Sam finished her outburst and looked at Jason waiting for his response.

"When you're finished feeling sorry for yourself," he replied softly, "I'll be here." He looked at her briefly and left the room.

***************

Being a general did have its advantages. After Daniel's phone call, Jack arranged to have Carter transferred to Langley for rehabilitation and the staff of the facility kept him informed of her progress. He knew she was not happy about the arrangement. She would have been more comfortable at the Academy. Daniel and Teal'c would have been able to visit regularly. 'What was he thinking having her brought to Langley? It would be something else to hate him for.'

Jack stood in front of her door. His hands were sweating like a teenager going on his first date. He was such a coward. He could face down the meanest Goa'uld in the galaxy, yet it had taken him two weeks to find the courage to face her. Jack paced restlessly in front of her door while he gave himself a mental pep talk. 'It's just Carter. It's just Carter. It's not just Carter. It's Carter! Crap'. He took one deep breath, wiped his wet palms on his pants and walked in.

She was asleep. Jack walked quietly to the foot of her bed and lingered for a moment before sitting down. He watched her like he had done after her accident. It was different this time. She was not fighting for her life, hooked to machines keeping her alive. She was alive but he knew she was still broken.

Sam had the feeling someone was in the room with her, watching her. She had been virtually alone since she had been transferred here two weeks ago. Jason had not been back in her room since her tantrum that morning and the nurses always let her know if they were there. She heard a chair squeak. Someone was definitely there. She opened her eyes and turned her head toward the noise.

Jack knew she was waking up as he watched her begin to stir in her bed. He shifted his position in his uncomfortable chair in anticipation of her awakening, the chair squeaking in response to his movements. She turned her head toward the noise and opened her eyes.

Sam stared at him. Jack looked back at her as neither spoke.

Minutes seemed to pass before Sam finally said quietly. "Sir?"

"Hey, Carter." Jack responded just as quietly.

Sam pushed herself up in her bed. "What are you doing here?" Her tone was still quiet.

"I heard you were in town and dropped by to see how you're doing."

"I'm fine, s…" She stopped mid sentence and glared at him. "It was you." She replied as the realization of why she was here slapped her in the face.

"What was me?" He knew what she meant but did not know how to respond.

"You had me transferred here for rehab. Is this my punishment, sir," emphasizing the sir. "or don't you think I've suffered enough?"

"Yes. No. God, no, Carter. Damn."

She could not deal with him, with this now. "Please leave…sir." She saw the hurt in his eyes as she said the words.

Jack looked from her face to the floor contemplating how to respond. "Is that what you really want?"

"Yes."

"Carter, I…" He hesitated not knowing what else to say. She did not give him the chance to finish.

"Please go."

Jack looked at her as he stood to leave. It was heartbreaking to see her lying there hating him.

"Sir, please…" With sadness in her voice, Sam pleaded with him to leave.

He turned and headed for the door determined to leave her in peace but stopped when he reached the door. If he went through the door, he would be leaving her forever.

"I'm sorry, Sam." He spoke the words softly and left her room.