I'm so glad people are enjoying this story. It makes you feel good as a writer when you see how many people actually want to read your stuff. So thank you for reading and reviewing or alerting! This chapter is a bit longer and I hope you like it.

Chapter 9

Santana and Brittany woke up the next morning and got ready for school. Another day of cuddling on the couch wasn't going to make any difference, Santana knew, so she might as well bite the bullet and be done with it. She'd thought it over all night and had come to the grudging conclusion that Brittany and Mr. Schue were right. She wanted back into the glee club and she needed to apologize to them and especially to Puck, and although she didn't owe them an explanation, it would definitely help. As much as she would hate to admit it out loud, she trusted them. They were kind of like a family- a weird, fucked-up, incestuous kind of family, but a family none-the-less. It was almost a relief having Brittany and Mr. Schue know what happened. It made her feel a little less like she was facing it all alone. If she told the rest of glee club there would be that many more people to have her back. If someone had told her a year ago that she'd be a happy addition to glee club, let alone considering them friends and welcoming the idea of their support, she probably would have bitch-slapped them. God, there was nothing like hitting rock bottom to make you do things that you'd never have even thought about before.

She figured she didn't have a whole lot left to lose by following Brittany's advice and just taking things as they came, either- meaning if she felt like shit one day she wasn't going to force herself to smile and pretend like nothing was wrong, at least not among her friends. It was exhausting even thinking about it. Explaining straight out what had happened would cut out a lot of unnecessary questions down the road.

So she decided to approach it like she was ripping off a band-aid. Best to do it quick and get it over with. Santana had spent pretty much her whole life putting up a front and downplaying or flat out denying any emotions that came up, but all it took was the memory of looking at a haggard, broken stranger in the mirror to remind her that living her life like that was eventually going to kill her. She wasn't about to stop being a bitch or become all touchy-feely like those people who went to self-help seminars, but she could try to be a little more honest about what she was feeling.

Like maybe owning up to her feelings for a certain blonde…? Now probably wouldn't be the best time for that announcement, and Brittany was still with Artie anyway, but if this being -honest thing didn't come back to bite her in the ass, she might seriously consider it.

"Are you going to come to Glee today?" Brittany asked as she buttered a piece of toast.

Santana nodded.

"Are you going to tell them anything?"

She nodded again. "I think it'll be easier to just get it all out at once, and if anyone tries thinking that this changes where I stand in regard to status or bitch level I'll just have to kick their ass."

"And I'll help," Brittany said, "but I don't think that's going to happen."

Santana was a bit less optimistic. "We'll see."

Brittany found Artie at his locker just before lunch. She'd texted him the day before to let him know that Santana wasn't feeling good and that she was going to stay with her over night, but they hadn't had a chance to really talk to each other since then.

"Hey Artie," Brittany said, feeling guilty already for what she was going to say.

"Hey! Glad to see you back. Is Santana feeling better?" His excited smile at seeing her only made her feel worse.

"Yeah, she's getting there, but Artie, I need to talk to you…about us."

The smile disappeared from his face instantly.

"You know I love you, right? And you're an awesome boyfriend, but…I love someone else too, and it's not fair to you, or me, or her if we stay together."

Artie's stomach sank. This was it. He wasn't sure how he'd managed to hold on to Brittany as long as he had, but he'd always kind of been expecting this day to come. What he hadn't expected was the 'her.'

"You're in love with a girl?"

Brittany just nodded. "Yeah, but could you please not tell anyone right now? I don't want to get slushied every day. It makes me feel like a human sno-cone and I'm always worried someone might try to lick me."

Artie nodded. He had a pretty good idea who Brittany was in love with, but even as sad as he was, he did love Brittany and he wasn't about to out her if she wasn't ready. There were some things you just respected.

"Can we still be friends?" Brittany asked quietly.

Artie shook his head, unable to look her in the eyes. "Maybe someday, but not right now." He turned and wheeled himself away from her, trying to stop his heart from breaking.

Brittany hated that she'd hurt him, but she knew it was for the best, like when her mother made her swallow that horrible licorice-flavored cold medicine- it was bitter and burned a bit going down, but it always made her feel better in the end.

Santana was feeling more and more nervous as the day went on. She'd expected at least some looks to come her way, knowing it was highly unlikely her bout of vandalism had gone completely unnoticed, but she had yet to see anyone looking at her without their usual expressions of wariness. She made sure to keep an eye out for Brendan and Steve, but hadn't caught sight of them all day. She wasn't sure what she would have done if she had seen them, but she was thankful to be spared the extra drama today.

By fifth period her stomach was in knots and by sixth period she wasn't sure she'd be able to make it through the class without hurling. This feeling emotions/being honest thing was shit. Then the bell rang and it was time to face the music. Literally.

Santana loitered at her locker, letting everyone filter into the choir room before her. She wanted to deal with everyone at the same time, but she found Brittany waiting for her outside the door anyway.

Brittany could see that Santana was nervous.

"I told Mr. Schue you were coming. Do you want me to stand up there with you?"

"Thanks, Brit, but I think I need to do this by myself," Santana said, taking a deep breath and rubbing her sweaty palms on her jeans.

Brittany nodded. "You can do this." She gave Santana's pinky a quick squeeze with hers and walked into the choir room with her.

All heads turned in her direction and Rachel stood up, pitching her voice over the sudden increase of curious chatter coming from the rest of the glee members.

"Mr. Schue, what is she doing here? She quit, remember? We need people with positive attitudes and dedication in this club, not someone whose only input is a constant stream of insults and assaults."

Santana glanced towards Puck at the mention of assault to find him staring at her, his face giving nothing away.

Will moved to stand next to Santana. "Rachel, I'm pretty sure you've quit at least ten times and we've always welcomed you back. Guys, let's give her a break and listen to what Santana has to say, okay?"

Considering most of the glee club had spent the last few days worried about their friend, it didn't take much convincing, and Rachel sat down with an indignant 'hmmph.'

Santana stepped to the middle of the room and cleared her throat, "Umm, I know I don't say this very often, but I wanted to apologize for my behavior last week." She directed it to everyone, but kept her eyes on Puck, trying to let him know she was apologizing for more than just punching him. "I know I was more of a bitch than usual, so I wanted to say I was sorry and I'd like to come back."

Most of the faces in the room reflected the shock they felt at getting an apology from Santana. They'd had a commonly held belief that Santana had never apologized to anyone- for anything- ever. Quinn recovered first with a slight toss of her head.

"If we let Rachel back after all her bitchy diva moments, there's no way we'd deny you."

"Hey!" Rachel yelled, insulted. Quinn just shrugged her eyebrows at her. "It's true."

Kurt spoke up next, "As much as I hate to admit it, it wasn't the same without you."

Will smiled. "That's settled then. Santana, welcome back." He started to ask her if there was anything else she wanted to say when Puck cut him off.

"Are you going to tell us what the hell is going on with you or what?"

All eyes swung back to settle expectantly on Santana. Santana glance toward Brittany, who was nodding encouragingly. Santana looked around the room before dropping her eyes to the ground with a sigh. She wouldn't be able to do this if she was looking at them. She hesitated, not knowing exactly where to start.

It took a few tries before she could get the words out, but everyone waited for her silently, aware from her behavior that whatever she had to say was going to be big.

"I was such a bitch last week because something happened, and I didn't know how to deal with it. So I just got angry instead." Damn this was hard. Just breathe, and get it out. Like a band-aid, remember?

"I was raped."

Her statement was met with a moment of heavy silence before everyone broke out in an uproar. Santana finally raised her eyes to judge their reactions and make out most of the responses. There were a lot of "Oh, my god," and "What!" "When?" "Who?" Quinn stood up from her chair with a look on her face that warned of an impending hug, but Santana held up a hand to stop her. When everyone started to quiet down Santana was surprised to see a few of the girls looked like they were about to cry and several of the boys were sitting with clenched jaws and tight fists.

"Look, I did not tell you guys so you would feel sorry for me and if I see any one of you looking at me like 'Oh, poor Santana' I won't hesitate to punch you in the face. I just…I discovered the hard way that trying to deny that it happened was not going to work and I have a feeling there's going to be a lot more days when I'll be super-bitchy and have a worse attitude than usual and I'm asking that when that happens you just leave me alone and let me deal with it, okay? I don't want to hear 'Are you okay?' every other second, got it?"

There were nods all around and despite her threat more than one person was looking at her with soft, sympathetic eyes, which made Santana's eyes narrow into a glare. "I'm serious about punching you if you continue to look at me like that. Don't think for a second that me telling you this means I've gone soft or stopped being a bitch. I still hate most of you and I probably always will. And if any of you breathes a word about this to anyone else I will kill you."

Everyone was quiet again for a minute before Puck spoke up. He'd been silently staring at Santana since her admission. She could feel the weight of his eyes on her face.

When he spoke it was with a snarl, "Who?"

Santana just shook her head. "No. I tell you and you go beat them to a pulp and then you get sent back to juvie. As much I like to picture them bleeding and broken it's not worth having you go back to lock-up."

His voice was even worse when he noticed what she'd let slip. "THEM?"

Santana closed her eyes, mentally kicking herself. But before she could say anything Brittany did.

"It was that new senior Brendan and his friend Steve."

Santana just stared at her, speechless and feeling more than a little betrayed.

Brittany turned to her. "I'm sorry, San, but if we can't put them in jail and we can't get them expelled at least now we can all try to keep them from coming anywhere near you. And if they get the shit kicked out of them every day in the meantime, well…I won't be crying about it at night."

Santana didn't think she'd ever heard Brittany wish violence on someone in all the time she'd known her and it was that that let her know how much her friend was hurting too. She could see a similar look on the rest of the glee club and she was surprised to realize how much what had happened to her was now affecting everyone else. She hadn't really thought that far ahead.

Puck looked positively murderous and she was surprised that he was still sitting there.

"Puck, seriously, they're not worth getting sent back to juvie," she tried to reason with him.

He stared at her with a look she'd never seen before. "You are."

Santana felt tears sting the backs of her eyes at his quiet words. No way, this was all bad enough; there was no way she was going to start crying too.

She could see the determination in his face and knew no matter what she said there was going to be violence.

"Just promise me you won't kill them."

He scoffed.

"Promise me."

She could see the muscle tick in his jaw before he nodded his head. "I promise."

Will had stayed quiet, unable to deny that although he firmly believed that violence never solved anything, the idea of the boys who almost broke the strongest person he knew bleeding was eerily satisfying. He knew as well that nothing was going to stop Puck from doing what he wanted to do, but he'd make sure that at least one or two of the other boys stayed with him to make sure things didn't go too far.

"Okay, guys. I know that what Santana just shared is really serious, so if any of you need to talk you can always come to me or Miss Pillsbury- as long as you respect Santana's request to remain unnamed," he finished in a rush, seeing Santana start to protest at his suggestion they talk to someone outside the glee club. She gave a short nod at his reminder, and went to take her seat next to Brittany. He could see them holding hands again, Brittany giving Santana a small smile.

"Does anyone else have any questions about what Santana shared or should we start catching her up on what she missed?"

He could see that a few people wanted to ask more questions, but they seemed to decide against asking them right now. He figured Santana was probably grateful- he could only imagine how hard it had been for her stand in front of them and share her story.

"Good. Let's get back to singing then, huh? Kurt, Mercedes? You had something planned?"

Santana settled back into her chair as the pair took their spots at the front of the room, glad to be out of the spotlight. She still couldn't quite believe she'd actually done it and she felt a bit dizzy now that she had a minute to think about it, but as Kurt and Mercedes belted out the first few lines to their song she felt herself finally start to relax.

This was normal, life went on, and when she stood up to dance and join in with the harmony she felt more like herself than she had all week.