A/N: So I'm in a giving mood today, and therefore I am giving you this chapter even though it's not supposed to be up until tomorrow (I'll post chpt 11 tomorrow instead)

I was intending to post this only if the story reached 2k visitors today, but at 1920 I couldn't resist anymore, so here it is =P

Hope you like it and I can't begin to express how much your reviews, alerts and favs mean to me - they spurr me to write more!

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or its characters or anything related to the series in any way, shape or form.

CHAPTER 10

He surprised himself.

He hadn't been planning on saying it. It had just come out. He hadn't even been thinking about it. But still he had said it.

Her brown eyes had first been filled with question, then realization, then acceptance and finally love.

She didn't have to say it. She was already saying it with her eyes. The way they bore into his, into his depths.

"I love you, Sam." She said it anyway. And he knew that the smile on his face was genuine now.

She echoed his expression then winced horribly as the skin around her bruised cheek moved.

"I think you should hold off on the smiling for now." He said jokingly before pulling back out onto the road. He could see her trying to glare at him from the corner of his eye, but as that also involved using the muscles around her bruise, she gave up.

He chuckled slightly making her slap his arm, which only made his chuckle turn into a full-fledged laugh.

"You're such a dork." She said trying to hold back her laughter.

"But you still love me." He shot back stealing a glance in her direction before turning his attention back on the road.

She just snorted and crossed her arms.

He couldn't keep the smile off his face. This is what was supposed to have happened earlier that day. This was the reason he had to stay. Nothing in the world other than her could make him feel like this and he never wanted it to end.

They had enjoyed each other's silence the rest of the ride back to the barn. Unlike most silences between them lately, this one was extremely comfortable. He listened to her breathing and basked in the emotions that arose in him knowing that she was all right and that she loved him.

Once he had parked in the guest parking lot in front of the precinct, he'd run around the car to help her out and she had automatically put her arm around his shoulders for support. Her touch felt new. It made his skin tingle and his stomach flutter, and yet again that smile that he couldn't seem to get rid of was plastered on his face.

Though, once inside the barn, that smile quickly disappeared.

The first person to meet them as they came through the doors was Callaghan. His face was filled with concern for her and he marched over in a quick pace to cup her face in his hands and kiss her.

Sam, who still had her arm around his shoulders felt the familiar mixed feelings of jealousy, anger, disappointment and awkwardness bubble up inside him as he stood there, stuck, supporting McNally's weight as she kissed someone else.

Callaghan pulled back and started asking her if she was okay and to tell him what happened. Sam shut his hearing off sinking into his mind.

He could feel her tightening her hold on his shoulder as she talked to her fiancé. Was it to reassure him? He felt her thumb tracing small patterns on his shoulder. It made him want to pick her up and carry her straight out of there. Away from everyone and everything so that it could be just the two of them.

Was he kidding himself? She was engaged. She had agreed to marry the strapping detective she was talking to, not him.

He started feeling sick. How were they going to work this out?

"Swarek!" Sam's head shot towards the entrance to see Best walking in. His expression was all but happy. "Office. Now." He near growled as he walked past him.

Sam grabbed Andy's hand, that was drawing the patterns, and lifted it so that he could follow Best. He shot her an apologetic look before squeezing her hand quickly and walking off.

Best waited for Sam to enter the office before stepping inside and walking over to sit behind the desk. Sam watched as he rubbed his face with his hands in exasperation before leaning back in his seat.

"Care to tell me exactly how this happened?"

Sam didn't have an answer. But Best was not happy and not replying was not an option. "I think I've had a stalker." Sam said with uncertainty. He knew he didn't sound like himself, it wasn't like him to be unconfident and uncertain.

"You think you had a stalker?" Best's eyebrows were so high on his forehead Sam almost expected them to melt into his hairline.

"Yeah…" Sam said nodding awkwardly. "I got these notes and gifts."

"How long have you been getting them?"

"Just the last couple of days, but…" He trailed off remembering that creeping chill he had felt running down his spine for nearly two weeks. The same chill he had felt on that roof tonight.

Best looked at him expectantly.

"I've been having this feeling." Sam finished. "Like someone was watching me."

"Why didn't you come to me with it?"

"I thought someone was playing a prank." Sam said with a shrug. Had he really believed that? He didn't know anymore.

"Sammy." Best sighed. "You're the gut-guy. Why didn't you take your own advice?"

Sam didn't want to admit it, but Best's point was valid. Why hadn't he trusted his gut? He hadn't wanted to. It had freaked him out. He had been distracted.

"I've been having a lot on my plate."

"Maybe you should take some time off." Best said off-handedly. Sam didn't have time to start arguing before he continued. "How did McNally become a hostage?"

"Seems that the girl thought we were together."

Best closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Did you not hear what I said earlier today?"

"It was too late. It had already happened." Sam said without thinking.

"It?" Best asked with a questioning yet knowing expression.

Sam groaned internally and nodded.

"You do realize that she is engaged to another member of this division?"

Sam nodded unable to take his eyes off the floor. He felt like he was five again and his father was giving him a stern talking to for taking Sarah's cookie.

"And that if this gets out we might, no we will, have a huge conflict within the division?"

Sam nodded again.

"Not to mention that this whole situation you are in is distracting you. Making you reckless and jeopardizing the safety of your fellow officers."

Best looked out the windows for a while in thought before turning back to Sam. "I'll give you a choice: Either stay here, but stay the hell away from McNally and take at least three weeks off starting today, or transfer."

Sam sighed.

This was an even worse choice than the one he faced at the start of the day.

He and Andy had finally gotten to the point where they had admitted their feelings for each other. He had hoped they would be able to talk about that later. If he stayed, he'd have to stay away and he wasn't sure he could do that. If he transferred he wouldn't have that restriction.

Though if he did transfer, Boyd would probably bury him deep undercover which would mean no seeing Andy he stayed he could at least look at her. See that she was all right. Had he made his choice? His body didn't let him ponder it any further.

"I'll stay." He said simply.

"Ok. But if she is your reason, Boyd won't be happy."

"I know. I'll call him."

"Ok. Three weeks leave starting immediately."

Sam nodded in affirmation and turned to walk out the door.

"Remember; Stay away." Best warned as Sam closed the door.

Sam didn't know how he was going to manage this. His whole world had been torn down, built up and now torn down again in only a day. He knew she was still near the main entrance talking to Callaghan and he forced himself not to look in their direction even though he could feel her eyes following him. He walked over to the booking room and through the doors to the squad parking lot.

-Is this how it's going to be from now on? Walking huge detours to stay away? He thought as he walked around to the front of the precinct to get to his truck. He had opened the door and had one foot in the car when he heard his name.

"Sam!"

He looked up to see her hobbling across the lot towards him. He wanted to run over to her and just pick her up and kiss her until he couldn't breathe anymore, but with Best's warning ringing in his head, he just got inside and stuck his keys in the ignition.

"Sam!" She was shouting louder. But he couldn't look at her. He turned the key.

"Sam!" she was running now, wincing horribly. He felt horrible. He was just about to put his foot on the throttle when she reached the car and slammed her hands on the hood. "SAM!"

He didn't want to look at her. He tried to look at the steering wheel, at his hands. But his eyes involuntarily drifted up, over the hood, to rest on her face. She had tears in her eyes but he didn't know if they were because of pain from running or from him ignoring her. He hoped it wasn't the latter.

She made her way over to the door and pulled it open. "What's going on?"

"I can't." He said, more to himself than to her, keeping his eyes forward.

"Sam?" she put her hand on his forearm. "What?"

"I can't do this." He felt his eyes burning as tears pressed on his lids. He turned his head so that the back of it was facing Andy.

He heard her sniffling. She was crying. He wanted to turn around, pull her into the car, and just hold her.

"I'm suspended for three weeks." He said blinking to force back the tears before turning to face her. "And I can't be around you."

"What?" Tears were still trickling down her face. He wanted to wipe them away, but knew that he couldn't.

"You make me reckless. I'm not to be around you anymore." He wanted to say that he loved her. That it didn't matter. That he wouldn't let anyone decide who he would be spending time with. But a part of him knew that Best was right. He had gotten reckless. He was distracted all the time. It was dangerous.

She looked hurt, horrified, broken. Then her expression just turned blank. "I knew it."

"What?"

"I knew this is what would happen." Her voice was weak. "I knew you'd hurt me like this. It's why I was afraid. Why I chose Luke. Now I don't even have that."

Sam's heart was breaking, shattering, and he decided.

He let go of the wheel and got out of the car. "I'm sorry. I don't care about Best all right? Screw what he says." He said wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. "I love you. I want you. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry you were hurt because of me." He whispered.

She snaked her arms around his waist and he felt his t-shirt getting soaked by her tears as she rested her cheek on his chest.

After a while his shirt was sticking to his chest but her sniffles had finally subsided. He pulled back slightly to look at her. She had streaks down her face from the tears but she no longer looked detached, scared or horrified which made him feel a lot better. She did look tired though.

"How about we go to my house and get some rest?"

She just nodded in response.

He planted a kiss on her forehead before picking her up and carrying her around to the passenger door.