I was completely numb. The whole world around me switched off and I was now floating through darkness, trying to erase what I'd just seen permanently from my data core, but instead the memory just kept replaying in more shinier and brighter colours than before. It couldn't be true, it couldn't possibly be true. I must've had dreamt it. Khan was talking to me but I cancelled his voice out and for once was glad to hear a buzzing noise. I felt as if I was in the tank again, but this time, there was no cold but warmth. My whole body was radiant with heat from my pumping heart. I felt sick and dizzy though my eyes were closed and suddenly I felt pain and I noticed that I'd fallen over. Without opening my eyes, I could make out my own face approach me. I realized that they had never been closed. The image, the screaming, the blood flashed before me. I couldn't fit it all in my head, what it signified. However, Khan soon helped me with that when the buzzing was finally quiet enough:
"So, now that we've finished him off, it's time."
I burst into tears. I don't know what set it off. The confirmation of the horror I'd been forced to watch? John's blood on Khan's face? The victorious Leader's smile? My best bet is still all three of them. I cried and cried and cried and couldn't stop, but the worst part was, I couldn't even look at John. I remembered quite clearly the way he'd been massacred and I knew exactly how this crime scene would look. I didn't want a faceless John to be the last John I'd ever see.
He died trying to save me, sacrificing himself for me. In short: he died taking the hard way out. I wanted to scream even louder but that was impossible.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I kept breathing between sobs, waiting for my death to finally stop the pain, but Khan had left the room.