DISCLAIMER: Much to my dismay I do not own any of Stephenie Meyer's characters. I would love to, but I guess I'll have to settle for making them do as I please.

I also have nothing whatsoever to do with over Linkin Park or anyone affiliated with the band. Again much to my dismay. Can't catch a break. I just love their music :D

Changes to the band – character replacements:

Chester Bennington – Edward Cullen (lead vocals)
Mike Shinoda – Emmett McCarty (MC, vocals, rhythm guitar, keyboards)
Rob Bourdon – Jasper Whitlock (drums, percussion)

Bella

Being with Edward, even if it was just for a little while, was more than I could ask for. I knew that there was little to no chance of there ever being an us again. I had hurt him too much to hope for that, but I knew now that he would be there for our children. Which meant that I would always have him in my life. That was a small comfort for me.

He had arranged for me to wait backstage when he was doing the show. Not something I was complaining about, seeing as I had an extremely good view of the stage and him. Not that I was expecting that from him, but you know what they say about the second trimester. Yes, I was on the tail end of it, but it didn't mean that the urges had died down at all. Let me tell you, these last three months have been torture on that side of things. Even though I wanted it, I didn't want it with anyone else other than the Adonis performing on stage right now.

He was gorgeous in the shirt black polo neck he was wearing at the moment.

If I thought that he was gorgeous in the black polo-neck sweater, I nearly fainted when he took the damn thing off revealing nothing but a black wife-beater. I noticed when he took it off that he had two large sweatbands covering his elbows. The crowd watching and cheering when he removed the sweater.

"Bella." Someone called me from behind. I turned my head to see Demetri grinning at me, walking up to me. "Hey."

"Hey." I smiled at him, turning my head back to face the band who had just started performing a song that had always clutched at my heartstrings. I just hoped I wouldn't cry right now.

"How have you been?" He asked me, stopping next to me, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched the band.

"I've been good." I nodded, watching Edward. The performance was mostly Emmett for this song, but Edward seemed to be completely engrossed in the performance. I knew why. Edward had always been emotional about the wars happening around the world. It didn't surprise me that he would write a song about it. It was so emotional and compelling it sent a shiver down my spine.

There's bombs in your buses, bikes, roads.
Inside your market, shops, your clothes.
My Dad, he's got a lot of fear I know,
But enough pride inside not to let that show.
My brother had a book he would hold with pride,
A little red cover with a broken spine.
On the back he hand wrote a quote inside,
'When the rich wage war, it's the poor who die.'

"Bella?" Demetri was calling me. "Are you okay?" I turned to look at him, and saw that he was looking at me with a worried expression on his face. "You're crying."

I wiped my cheeks and found that they were wet with tears. "Oh, I didn't realise." I chuckled nervously. "Ugh! Hormones." I smiled at him and saw that he had a confused look on his face.

"Hormones?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

I pointed to my swollen belly and his eyes widened. He looked back between me and my stomach and I nodded.

"How far along are you?" He asked, seeming to try to judge how far along I was by my size. From the look on his face, he seemed to be thinking that I was going to have them right here, right now.

"Six months." I told him.

"Really?" He asked, looking confused. "I don't want to sound rude, but you're huge!"

I laughed, wiping away the remnants of the tears that had fallen during the song, which was thankfully finished now. It was a beautiful song, but I don't think I could take listening to it anymore. It was too emotional and raw. "It's triplets." I told him and he nodded his understanding.

"How's daddy feeling about it?" He asked, sounding genuinely interested. I'd forgotten that he didn't know Edward was the father.

"He's happy." I nodded. "I think."

"You think?" He raised his eyebrows at me, probably urging me with my his mind to explain what I'd meant by that.

"Well, we haven't really had a chance to talk." I said quietly, watching Edward intently. "I was only able to tell him today."

"Bet that was a bit of a shock." He chuckled, looking back out over the band. "How come you didn't tell him before?" I looked at him, trying to work out how best to explain. He seemed to judge the look as meaning something different to what it did. "If I'm overstepping my boundaries then, by all means, tell me to piss off, but I'm just curious."

"Oh, no!" I chuckled dryly, looking back out over the stage. "I was just thinking. Um…… Circumstances …… made it difficult for me to tell the father. I know that's kind of a flaky explaination but he wasn't around before today and I didn't have any way to contact him, so……"

"Wait a minute." Out of the corner of my eye I could see Demetri's eyes narrow. "Hang on a second. Bella." He took my shoulder and I looked at him. "The father. It's not one of my boys is it?"

"Actually." I bit my lip and closed my eyes before nodding.

"Great." He hissed, removing his hand from my shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"O-okay." I answered meekly, following him as fast as I could, what with my enormous belly, becoming a bit of a hinderance as of late.

I followed him into a small make-shift office area that had been erected behind the stage. He held the door open for me and I walked through, not really knowing what to expect. I knew that he was thinking that I'd gotten pregnant on purpose, probably hoping to get some money out of one of the guys in the band. Little did he know that wasn't the case at all. All I wanted was the father for my babies.

He closed the door after I had walked through and walked past me, indicating for me to sit down in one of the chairs. Strangely enough, the room actually resembled and office. Whether or not it could be easily disassembled like in some places I wasn't sure, but it was here now, and that's really all that mattered. Right?

There was a small desk in the middle of the room, with two plastic chairs one side and a large leather chair on the other. Demetri pulled the leather chair around and indicated for me to sit down in it. I raised my eyebrow at him and he sighed.

"I might need to talk to you about something serious, but you're still pregnant and I'm not going to make you sit on one of those crappy plastic things." He indicated the plastic chairs and I gave him a small smile, sitting on the chair.

He sighed and sat on one of the plastic chairs in front of me, running his hands, first through his hair and then dragging them slowly down his face. "Whose are they?" He asked in a whisper so soft, I nearly didn't hear it.

"Edward's." I whispered at the same volume.

He nodded, looking dismal and leaning back in his chair. "What do you want?" He asked and I looked at him.

"Excuse me?"

"What do you want?" He shrugged, looking back at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, understanding what he meant, but wanting him to voice my fears out loud.

"You must want something." He shrugged again, gazing intently at my stomach. "There must be something you want from Edward."

"I don't want anything from him." I replied, the anger and hurt coming through in my tone.

"Really?" He looked at me, disbelieving. "What was it? Hoping for a kiss and tell and then it turned into something more?"

"How dare you?" I practically spat at him. "If you must know …… Edward and I have a past. The night of the concert, I went back to their apartment, wanting to talk to him, needing to talk to him about how it was when we last saw each other-"

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused, his expression still judgemental.

"Things ended on quite a sour note with us, and I wanted to clear things up. Resolve some issues." He nodded, taking that in. Whether or not he believed it I didn't know, nor did I care. "Things happened … well, I think you can judge for yourself what happened." I took a deep breath, remembering that I had to keep my blood pressure under control and try to stay calm. "Now, listen to me. I don't want anything from Edward. I told him about the babies, because he has a right to know that he is going to be a father. He asked me to come here with him tonight, so that we could talk things out afterwards. I'm not looking for anything from Edward. I have no reason to ask Edward for anything other than to be a father to his children. I do not need his support, financially or in any other way. It wouldn't be fair to either my children nor to Edward if I'd kept this from him. That is why I told him."

"So you weren't planning to try to get pregnant, then?" Demetri asked, his tone slightly apologetic.

"No." I replied strongly. "I was not. I was actually on the pill at the time. I only realised after I became pregnant that I had been ill a few days before the concert and the medications I'd had shoved down my throat could have counteracted the pills efficacy."

He ran a hand through his hair again, sighing in defeat. "I'm sorry, Bella." He looked at me, and I could believe that he was.

"I know." I nodded. "And I understand."

"Do you?" He asked, his eyes searching for something in my own. "It's a constant battle with these boys. People want to have something, anything, to do with them. You know, a claim to fame. Kiss and tell or whatever. It doesn't stop and I have to do whatever I can to protect them."

"I know." I reached forward – well, as far as I could anyway – and placed my hand on his. "I'm really not looking for anything from Edward. Nothing like that anyway. I told him because he has a right to know. Even if he wasn't hugely famous right now, I would have told him. It's not fair to these three for them not to know who their daddy is."

"You're right and I'm sorry, Bella." He nodded, looking at my swollen belly again. "Are you really only six months along?" He asked, disbelief inching back into his tone again and I nodded.

"Yup." I placed a hand on my belly again, grinning from ear to ear as I felt them kick against it. "The fact that there's three of them makes me larger than normal. Hey, c'mere." I grabbed his hand and pulled him forward, placing his hand on my stomach where mine had been moments before.

"What-" He started to argue but his face erupted into an enormous grin as one of the babies kicked against his hand. "Wow." He breathed, looking up at me.

I blushed and nodded, looking at his hand. "It's incredible. I know. I got the same reaction from Edward earlier."

He shook his head, leaning back on the chair, taking his hand away from my stomach. "I still can't believe that something like this has happened."

"Look, Demetri." I urged him to look up at me and I must have had some sort of telekenetic powers or something because he did. "Neither Edward nor I planned this, but it's happening, and this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't care what anyone says. I don't care if people think that I got pregnant to use Edward or some shit like that, because I know the truth, Edward knows the truth and now, so do you. I could never do that. Edward and I ……… we've been through a lot and …… we mean to much to each other."

"The fact that you knew that he was in the band though." He mumbled, picking up a cup of what smelled like coffee, earning a scowl from me. I couldn't drink coffee and it was making me crabby as hell sitting there watching him drinking the sweet energy giving nectar.

"But that's it. Until he got up on the stage, I didn't know he was in the band." I admitted, still watching the cup. "Until I saw him standing in front of me on the stage and backstage, I didn't know it was him. That was the first time I'd seen him, at all, I mean even on posters, pictures or whatever, in seven years."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing me.

"I didn't get out much." I shrugged and he hummed a response. "And seeing Edward up on that stage, it …… it brought back some stuff that I thought was long gone."

"What kind of stuff." He asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"Personal … extremely personal stuff." Thankfully he got the message and backed off, not asking anymore questions. "I'm not looking for any … publicity or anything. In actual fact, I hate all that shit."

"Alright, Bella." He sighed. "Let's go watch the rest of the show." I nodded and he helped me up. I followed him out of the office and back around to where we had been before. He called out for someone to get a chair and he pretty much ordered me to sit in it, stating that 'pregnant women shouldn't be on their feet for long periods of time'. How he knew that, I didn't know.

I couldn't help but grin as I watched Edward on stage. How had I gone so long without knowing that he was following his dreams as a performer? How had I gone so long without seeing him, touching him, smelling him, tasting him-

Stop that, Bella! He's not yours anymore. Hasn't been for years. I scolded myself, watching as the muscles beneath his skin contracted and flexed with each movement, how the sweat from the exertion on the stage made it seem like he was glistening in the lights above him.

Fuck.

Me.

Now.

Hard.

I gulped audibly, watching him on the stage as he and Emmett sang the words to a song that was lost on me. It must have been a new one, because it hadn't been played at the concert that I went to.

Either that or I just wasn't paying attention. Then or now.

"Demetri?" I asked and he looked over from where he was making sure that everyone behind the scenes was hitting their marks, keeping things running as they should be. "I'm being a total spazz, but what song is this?"

"Jeez, Bella, you really must have been locked away for years." He chuckled and I grinned sheepishly, feeling myself blushing. "It's 'In The End'."

Of course it is, you thickshit! The bad thing was, somewhere inside my head, I knew that. "Oh. Right." Turned out to be my incredibly intelligent and eloquent answer. He chuckled and turned back to face the stage where the boys were leading the crowd into their final number.

What I had seen of the show had been amazing, just as I knew it would be. Everything I'd seen and heard about this band in front of me were incredible. How they did it I had no clue, but they seemed to just breathe and sweat pure adrenaline. And I could tell that they loved it.

Before I knew it, the show was over and the boys were coming off of the stage, amongst the shouts and cheers from the crew for an excellent performance. I didn't register any of them apart from Edward, who had been handed a bottle of water and instead of drinking it, promptly emptied it over his head.

Spotting me sitting there watching him, he made his way over to me, sporting a knowing smirk that told me he knew what was going through my mind. He always fucking knew. He would always know. It didn't matter if we were together every day forever, or apart for another twenty years, he would always know me.

"Hey." He greeted me, sounding breathless. I looked up at him, standing there, his skin glistening with a mixture of water and sweat. It made me want to run my tongue all over him. Stop it, Bella! I scolded myself. It's just your hormones talking. I tried convincing myself of that fact, but I knew deep down that that was just an excuse. "Are you okay?" He asked, sounding slightly concerned.

"Yeah." I nodded absentmindedly. "I'm fine. Just, you know, off in my own little world."

"I hear you." He smiled his crooked smile at me. That used to be my smile. "Come on." He held his hand out to help me get up and I gratefully took his help. Pulling me to my feet, I was met with his impeccible chest. The very same chest that I had once fallen asleep on every night, the one that I used to fantasise over in History and Math when I knew that there was no point in me paying attention because I sucked at those subjects. "Let's get out of here." He smiled at me and I nodded, my mouth slightly agape. I probably looked like a fucking moron.

It's just your hormones. I told myself repeatedly as he lead me through the chaos that was backstage, making sure that I was safely out of the way of people moving equipment and packing away.

He shouted to Demetri that we were going and he gave him a thumbs up, nodding at me knowingly. I smiled back and followed Edward out the side exit, away from where the paparazzi and fans were crowding around the other members of the bands.

"So, did you guys enjoy the show?" He asked once we were settled in the back of his car.

"'Guys'?" I asked, confused, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah." He nodded, giving me the same expression I was most likely giving him. "Emmett told me that Alice and Rosalie were there too."

"Oh." Was my intelligent reply. "I didn't see them there."

"Hm." His forehead creased slightly and I wondered what was going through his mind. "I wonder where they were then. He said they were backstage."

"Well, it is pretty big behind there." I offered and he nodded absentmindedly. At least this car journey was going better than the last one. At least the tension wasn't so thick that you would need a chainsaw to cut through it. "How are you feeling?" I asked him, remembering what they had told me after the last show I saw. Well, how could I forget that one?

"I'm okay." He nodded, but I noticed that his movements were slower and a little more sluggish than they had been after he'd come off the stage. The adrenaline was wearing off.

The car stopped outside his hotel and the door by my side opened, an unfamiliar hand being offered to me. I looked at Edward who nodded, sliding over next to me. I took the hand, easing myself out of the car, Edward following me lithely.

We made our way up to the hotel room he, Jasper and Emmett were sharing. Well, I say room when it's really more like an apartment up here. I swear, it's bigger than mine.

"Did you want anything to drink?" He asked, making his way over to the kitchen area and grabbing himself a coke out of the small refrigerator that was there. He looked over to me and I swallowed gently.

"Um, water would be great, thank you." I said quietly and he nodded, grabbing a bottle of water out of the door to the fridge.

"Come on." He said softly, placing a hand on my back, gently moving me towards the sofas. "You need to stay off your feet."

"Right." I nodded dumbly. Why was I acting like a blithering idiot tonight? Oh, right, it's because you're in the presence of the most intoxicating man you've ever known. Did I mention *epic swoon*

We sat down at opposite ends of the couch, him with his coke and me with my bottle of water.

"Bella." He said softly and I knew what was coming. "I have to know …… why?"

He looked up at me, looking extremely exhausted all of a sudden. I felt bad for him. I didn't know what he was feeling and yet some part of me did. He was exhausted, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. I was with him on the last two.

"Edward." I whispered, moving towards him slowly, gently brushing a few strands of hair out of his eyes. "You're exhausted. Why don't you go to bed and we'll talk later, yeah?"

"We need to talk abou-"

"I know." I whispered gently. "I know. But not while you're like this. I mean, look at you. You can barely keep your eyes open. You're exhausted. Get some sleep and we'll talk when you're feeling better."

He sighed, closing his eyes. I knew that we had to have this talk. I just didn't want to do it while he was so out of it like he was. He really was exhausted and it hurt to see him this way. He needed rest. As much of it as he could get and that wasn't something I was going to take away from him. He looked at me, his eyes pleading as he spoke softly. "Stay with me?"

"What?" I asked, taken aback.

"Stay with me." He repeated, a little louder. "Tonight. Will you stay with me?"

"Of course." I smiled at him and he nodded at me, his eyes drooping.

He stood up slowly, stretching out his muscles. He held out a hand to me, probably guessing that there was no way that I'd be able to get off of the sofa on my own.

"Wait here a sec, I think one of Emmett's shirts will fit you." He shook his head softly and I could tell that it was costing him a lot to stay upright. I needed to get him into bed as quickly as possible. He came back a moment later with one of the biggest shirts I'd ever seen, handing it to me. "It's clean, I swear." He gave me a soft grin and I took the shirt from him.

"You know, Mr. Cullen, I think you might be trying to tell me something." I held the shirt out and his face turned into an expression of horror.

"No, Bella … I wasn't … I didn't…"

"I'm kidding." I smiled at him. "Thank you. Come on, get to bed, you. You look exhausted."

I followed him down the corridor and into the room I guessed was his. He flipped on the light and I motioned towards the en suite in case he needed it. He waved me off, telling me that he didn't, so I slipped into it. Quickly changing into the shirt he had given me. The thing came down to my knees and I chuckled, thinking that Emmett really was as huge as he looked.

I made my way out into the room to find that Edward had changed into a pair of black pyjama pants with no shirt. He was flopped down on his bed, looking so peaceful that it would be an act of blasphemy to disturb him. As I padded back out into the room, he lifted his head up and smiled at me gently. I climbed onto the bed and under the covers and he followed suit, quickly realising that he was still on top of the covers and not underneath them.

He gently rested his head next to my shoulder and I took his hand in mine, placing it on top of my swollen belly, feeling one of the babies kick at his hand through mine and I felt a small smile appear on his face.

So much had changed in the last day, and I knew from now on that Edward would be in my life forever, joined by the three tiny beings growing inside of me. Whether or not there was a chance for us, I didn't know, but for now, I would give him the answers that he needed, and hope that he didn't hate me forever.

I watched him as his breathing levelled out and grew deeper, knowing that he had fallen asleep. I shuffled down, keeping his hand on my stomach and I turned slightly and closed my eyes, waiting for the depths of sleep to take me under.

///////////////////////////////

I woke up the next morning, with Edward's hand still on my belly, sunshine pouring in through the window.

I looked down at him, seeing that same small smile playing on his lips as he lay there, not moving. I knew from last time and from the others telling me so that this was normal after a big live show, but it didn't make me any less worried about him.

Who knew what being like this was doing to him.

I knew what it was that had caused him to become like this in the first place.

Me.

It was me and my actions that caused him to turn to drinking and drugs.

I looked down at his arms, seeing that he still had the large sweatbands from last night covering his elbows. I gently removed them, looking down at the crook of his elbow, gently tracing my fingers and thumb over the purple scars that littered his perfect skin.

"It wasn't heroin, you know." A small voice from the doorway made me jump and I saw Jasper standing there, holding two mugs in his hand. He chuckled slightly at my reaction, walking into the room and handing me one of them. "Camomile tea. Alice said it's your favourite."

I nodded at him gratefully. "Thank you." I murmured, turning my head back to face Edward. "What did you mean before?" I looked back at Jasper who had sat on the end of Edward's bed.

"The track marks. They weren't caused by heroin." He repeated and I nodded, looking back. I was about to ask what it was that caused it then when he answered my unspoken question. "Amphetamines and Methamphetamines. They can be taken intravenously. Hits the bloodstream harder and faster, giving the addict more of a rush." He explained and I nodded, still watching him. "Em and I had to deal with Edward just before and after rehab. We did a lot of research and shit, so we know a fair bit."

"Do you know why this happens?" I asked quietly, looking back to Edward, who was still in the same position.

"No." He shook his head, taking a sip of what I assumed was coffee. "But we've always assumed that it has something to do with the overdose he took that forced him into rehab."

"He took an overdose?" I asked, my eyes going wide.

Jasper nodded, looking solemn. "It killed him, Bella." He whispered and I choked back a sob, looking down at the beautiful man at my side. The father of my children.

"It's all my fault." I put my mug down on the bedside table and lowered myself down so that my face was level with his. "It's all my fault."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Bella, it is your fault." Jasper said quietly, standing up. "I don't know the full story about what went on with you and Edward, only what he's told us from his side. We don't know what went on on your side of the story, so we're not going to come in all guns blazing at you. But I will say, don't hurt him. He's been through a lot already, and I don't think it'll take that much of a push to send him over the edge for good this time."

With that he left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Edward had died. He had died and I had no idea.

What if they hadn't been able to bring him back?

What if they hadn't been able to get to him in time?

All sorts of scenarios ran through my head before I realised that none of them had come true. That Edward was alive and well next to me. Well, maybe not the 'well' part right this minute, but he was alive and here, next to me. That's what I needed right now.

But my mind kept flicking back to what happened seven years ago. If I hadn't done it, then none of this would have happened. If I hadn't listened to him then none of this would have happened. Edward and I could have been happy, living somewhere quaint and quiet, maybe with several children, two cats and a dog. But that was my own fantasies. Something I wasn't allowed to have anymore. All because I listened to that sick fuck all those years ago.

~Flashback~

Seven years previous.

"Bells?" I heard my dad calling through my door gently for the hundredth time that day. He knocked lightly before it creaked open and he poked his head through. "Are you okay, honey?" He asked and I nodded, blankly staring out the window where the clouds matched my mood.

Why had I done it?

Why?

"Okay, then." He clearly didn't know what to do. "I've got to head off to work now." I could tell that he didn't want to leave me like this. "Are you going to be okay on your own for a while?"

"Edward's coming over." I mumbled in a hollow voice that sounded so detached I didn't think that it even came from me.

Why did I listen?

Why did I do it?

He said that it was for the better.

Why did I listen to him?

I should have told him to fuck off and mind his own. That it wasn't down to him. It was mine and Edward's baby, so it was our responsibility. Not his.

But I wasn't that strong.

I was weak and infuriating.

And I hated myself.

Edward would hate me too.

So I had to let him go. I prayed that he would understand.

I didn't hear Charlie leave, nor did I hear Edward arrive. The next thing I knew was a pair of strong, hard yet soft and gentle arms were threading themselves around my waist, holding me close to a strong, hard chest.

"Edward?" I whispered gently, resting my head against his chest and closing my eyes.

"Yes, love?" His whispered response came almost instantly.

"Can we go for a walk?" I asked, turning to face him and he looked down at me, smiling. Going for walks was our way of refreshing our minds. When we walked together it was just us. No one else would get in the way or interfere. There were no pushy parents, or skanky girls here. It was just us.

Just Edward and Bella.

He took hold of my hand and we walked down the stairs, slowly pulling our shoes on at the bottom. He opened the door and the two of us walked through it, out into the humid air of Forks, Washington.

We walked for a few minutes in silence, just holding each others hands, gently swinging them back and forth, neither one of us needing to fill the silence.

That is, until I knew that I couldn't put it off any longer.

"Edward?" I stopped, grasping his hand, causing him to stop as well.

"What is it, love?" He asked, his tone concerned. I knew he knew that there was something wrong. He always knew. It was something I normally loved about him, but now, I hated him for it. It made this so much harder.

"I have to talk to you." There. I said it. The six words that nobody in a relationship wants to hear from their significant other.

He stiffened ever so slightly, sensing something wrong. "What is it, love?" He repeated, his voice a little quieter than before. I could see something flashing in his eyes.

"I can't do this anymore." I shook my head, detaching my hand from his and stepping backwards a little. I wrapped my arms around myself, not looking at him as he stood in front of me.

"What do you mean?" He asked, obviously wanting me to say the words.

"This." I motioned between us. "Us. I can't do it anymore. It hurts too much. All it does now is remind me of what we lost."

"We can work through this, Bella." He moved to stand directly in front of me. "We can work through it together, love."

"No." I shook my head, still not looking at him. "Not when I don't feel what I used to." It was breaking my heart to tell him these lies, but I knew that I had to. It was for the best. Lest he find out what a coldhearted and cruel bitch I really am.

"Are you saying that … you don't … love me anymore?" He asked and I could hear his voice cracking with emotion. He didn't want to let me go. I knew that there was only one way to end this and it would end me to do it. I heard him take a deep breath in front of me. "I don't believe you. Tell me that you don't love me." He placed a finger underneath my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me."

I took a deep breath, hating myself for what I was about to say. "I don't love you."

With those four words, I literally saw his heart shatter into a million pieces. I wanted to scoop him up into my arms and tell him that I was lying. That I didn't mean it, but I knew that I couldn't.

He didn't move and I knew that he was truly broken.

"I'm sorry, Edward." I looked away from him and started to walk back in the direction of my house. It had started raining as we had been standing there, and I thought about how harsh I was being, leaving him standing there in the rain.

I dared a glance back over my shoulder and I saw that he was no longer standing, but had slumped to his knees. I turned around quickly, and continued walking towards my house.

I was the world's biggest bitch. But it was what was best for him. I knew that much.

I couldn't continue to lead him on.

He deserved better than me.

I let myself back into the house, throwing myself onto my bed, not bothering to change out of my drenched clothing, crying myself to sleep.

When I woke up the next day, there was a bouquet of white roses and water lillies on my dresser. Nestled within the petals was a simple card that read 'I'm sorry. No matter how things are between us, you will always have my heart.'

After I went downstairs, Charlie immediately told me that Edward had disappeared and I broke down, telling him about the day before and how it was all my fault.

I had never felt such pain in my life.

And I had no idea how Edward must be feeling right now.

~End Flashback~

I had never really gotten over what I'd done that day. It still played on my mind every single day. I always wondered what would have happened if I hadn't done it. If I had carried on like nothing was wrong. Like I hadn't killed our child.

I knew that the guilt would have eaten me alive, but I would have had a little while longer with Edward. And that was worth it, wasn't it?

During my musings, I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, there was a body moving next to me.

I opened my eyes to see Edward, rolling over slightly, his eyes blinking furiously and attempting to focus. It was adorable.

"Hey." I whispered gently and he smiled at me sleepily.

"Hi." He mumbled back, his voice still thick and groggy with sleep.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, sitting up slightly, running my hand through his hair gently.

"Okay, I guess." He sighed, resting a hand on my stomach, smiling slightly at something. I wanted to ask what it was, but I decided to let him have his moment. Even if it was with my belly. "What about you?" He looked up at me and I smiled down at him.

"I'm good."

He looked back to my stomach, his hand making small circles through the material of the cover and Emmett's shirt. "Bella." He whispered and I hummed in response. "Why?" I looked down at him to see him staring intently at my stomach, no doubt picturing what it would have been like seven years ago, swollen with his child back then. "What convinced you to do it?" His voice was barely above a whisper and I knew that I had to answer him, so I told him what I had failed to all those years ago.

The truth.

I took a deep breath, and prepared myself for the onslaught that I knew would be coming as soon as I said his name.

"Carlisle……"