I walked into Grimmauld Place with an unsettling frown on my face, it caused even Hermione to hold off on hugging me as soon as I came in the door.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"Right… we expected tears, but not a frown as though you're extremely mad about something," Fred said in concern.

I shook my head, trying not to say anything. I should have left with tears on my face after seeing my mother lying motionless and pale in a coffin, with some sad happiness that I'd gotten some time with Lissy and my brothers. But no. I walked up to mom's coffin, and seeing her like that just made me furious. All I could think was that she didn't have to die. Why did she have to visit dad and provoke his temper to the extreme? She could have stayed home, the problems between us would have dissipated by now… I would have been able to take back what I said to her.

Not only did I have to deal with that, but Seraphina pulled me aside as everyone left to say, "You need to pull down more walls than just that one I notice missing. This funeral was too much stimulation for your emotions, you must watch out if you don't want to break down at random."

My anger was stewing, and part of the trouble at that moment was that I was trying not to let it scream like hot water in a kettle pot. Just letting it lightly heat up… it would take a long time to get it all out, though.

What also made it worse was Becky asking, "So if we're on your dad's side, does that mean we have to kill people who are against him?"

She thought I was a spy for him rather than for Professor Dumbledore and the Order… because that's what Draco thought and agreed with. If only his parents weren't Death Eaters. Becky would go with me either way, whether I was with the Order or my dad, that was just how loyal of a friend she was… so I didn't correct her. Maybe it'll fix itself later on… or not….

My complicated relationship with Draco wasn't going to make things any better this year, not with the Ministry taking root at school. I was going to snap so much more often, I could feel it, and Draco still liking me as more than a friend - me still liking him, too - won't help. He would be trying to reconcile for my breakup outburst, and I'd be stuck continuing to push him away and say no. I couldn't be worrying about a relationship on top of having this weird Umbridge woman watching me.

I also realized afterwards that I would probably see more of Marcus than I had ever wanted or intended to - him being a Death Eater now gave me problems if dad ever needed me to come for a meeting or something…. What if more time with dad makes me love him too much to continue down the path I've already decided? I can't save him from that, for the sake of the world. All of this is going to be a lot harder than I thought, especially with me even enjoying the company of his strongest ally - which annoys the hell out of Severus.

Fred put his hands on my shoulders and shook me roughly out of my thoughts, "Hello, is someone in there?"

I - automatically - just as roughly pushed him away, backing myself into the wall from the force with a thud. Shaking a little, I looked around the room. Fred, George, Ginny and Hermione looked at me with a bit of worry while Ron looked curious at my behavior. In the doorway stood Severus, Remus and Sirius - all three, I could tell, were about to say something to me. I knew I wouldn't be able to say much or stand any questions, so I covered my mouth with my hand while muttering a "Sorry!" and ran out to my room.

Once I was safely there, I took deep breaths to try regaining my composure for I'd begun to breathe heavily in a panic about my forefront emotional wall breaking apart. I sat down on my bed and took a peek into my mind - a great large hole had been made and it was all from going to that funeral. Damnit, I thought, wondering if there was a possibility to fix it.

I put my hand to my head - as if I could fix the cracks in the wall by doing what people did when they had headaches. No, I thought resignedly. I'll have to take this wall down. No point in keeping it when it's this badly damaged. As I let the wall fall apart, a very strong feeling seemed to land a punch right in my stomach as if falling from hundreds of feet in the air of top of me. Guilt. I let out a tearful choke as I forced myself out of my mind, holding my hand to my mouth to hold off the possible sobs that didn't come.

Thirteen down… twelve more to go. And it wasn't getting any easier to take them down. It was ridiculous how much more there were to go, and yet the pain since the last wall went from about twenty to ninety. Guilt had already shown up to rear its head in my mind, so… how much guilt does that show I have?

"Are you all right?"

I looked up to see Severus walk in.

"Is something the matter?" He sat down next to me on the bed, and I wondered… what if he had been a father?

"I… a lot happened at the funeral and I started to ponder on it all too much. I didn't mean to push Fred like that, but all that anger just festering inside me decided to lash out… I only just now took away that broken down wall. I have twelve left, and it's not getting any easier to take them down."

"There's a lot of guilt," he noted.

I nodded silently. "Lissy and my brothers have to live with this now… my friends believe I'm with my dad all the way, so I'm technically still lying to them… my other friends believe I just found out about who my father is and that I'm trying to cope with it, plus him killing my mom… I'll be having this Ministry woman on my back for this whole year… I like Seraphina though I know she can't be trusted - especially with what strong magic she has that she can use to know how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking so I have to watch myself around her… my dad, now that - that - that's even more complicated because I have mixed feelings with how much he cares for me and yet - and yet he denies it so furiously because he doesn't want to be weak… Severus this is all so much -"

"I know, Melody…" he said softly. "You shouldn't have to go through all of this."

"I do though, don't you see?" I asked. "I deserve all of this… because I put myself in it. I helped my dad get back to power, I kept it a secret from everyone for all this time. It's my doing, I deserve whatever backfires on me."

We were silent for a time. Severus seemed to finally work up the courage after a while to take hold of my hand and squeeze it softly as form of comfort. I let a grateful smile show. The moment was gone soon, however, when Remus and Sirius burst into the room. Severus withdrew his hand, as though he couldn't be allowed to show how he cares and watches out for his god daughter.

Remus did the talking. "Dementors on Privet Drive. Mundungus left his shift and the boy had to take care of them on his own. He's going to be expelled."

Severus' anger skyrocketed and he burst out of the room, leaving with Remus. Only Sirius stayed behind.

"W-what?"

"Are you all right?" he asked instead.

"I'm fine, now what did you all mean?"

"We have a shift of guards watching over Harry Potter at the home he lives in on a Muggle street called Privet Drive. It was Mundungus Fletcher's shift, and he left in the middle of it. Dementors attacked Harry and his cousin, so Harry had to use his magic to protect himself. He's going to be expelled for underage magic."

"But he had good reason!" I said in shock. "They can't!"

"This is the Ministry, Melody," he said, placatingly. "And at the moment, they want to discredit Harry as much as possible with all he's been saying about Lord Voldemort coming back. Dumbledore will do what he can to lift the charges."

"And he'll win, right?"

"I believe so. Even though the Minister is doing his best to discredit Dumbledore as well, I'm sure he'll still win Harry's case and let Harry go with just a warning."

"... Why were there Dementors on Privet Drive anyways unless they were sent there?"

Sirius contemplated that. "Voldemort…"

It couldn't be him, I thought as Sirius rushed out of the room. He wants Harry all to himself. Any damage done would be Harry's death done by dad's own hand… no, there must be someone in the ministry who sent those Dementors after him. The worst part about all of this was that I couldn't share my true opinions with everybody. I supposedly only just found out about my dad, so to others I wouldn't possibly know anything personal about him.

I kept waking up in the middle of the night, sweating and breathing heavily. Something.. somebody.. chasing me. And each time I slept, they kept getting closer. Was it dad? Was it a Dementor? Was it a Death Eater? Was it a member of the Order? Was it Seraphina? Was it Harry?... Was it mom?

Finally, I had to sit up and wonder… was this my dream from when I was younger just showing up again?... It was. I'd had the Inner Eye as a warning for my future and I hadn't even realized it. But who is chasing me? Who am I so afraid of?

"You can't sleep either?"

I looked up. Ginny and Hermione were awake. Ginny was the one who'd asked.

Somehow, I felt relieved not to be the only one awake. When I was younger, I had my mom's bed to go lay down in when I had my nightmare. Only thing was that she was always asleep and I never wanted to wake her up.

"No.. with all that's going on, it's going to be hard to get back to sleeping comfortably," I said softly. Honestly. Sleeping hadn't been all that great to begin with since mom died, but this was the first time the nightmares had shown up since before I'd turned eight or nine.

"I don't blame you," Hermione said while she and Ginny moved over to my bed. They squeezed in under the covers with me… and that was how I realized that my bed was bigger than I thought. "With all that you've been through this past month, who wouldn't have trouble? And now, Harry's got trouble going his way."

"I guess we'll both be having problems this year. Especially with the Ministry."

"Well," Ginny said, "you both also have us as your friends. We're here for you."

I was happy it was still dark at that moment, because I automatically had a sad smile on my face. "I never doubted it." But how good of a friend can I really be when I'm helping the wizard you are all so against? Nevertheless, even with those painful thoughts filling my mind, I was able to sleep easily for the rest of the night.

I woke up alone, but I felt rested. I got up and walked down the stairs, smelling pancakes… and hearing screeches of pain and swearing? I entered the dining room to see a white owl pecking away at the hands of Sirius, Ron, and Hermione.

"Bloody hell, Hedwig!" Ron began to shout, mixing in with Sirius' swears.

A painting in the hallway behind me was suddenly revealed from behind the mysterious curtains I'd seen when I first moved in. A bloodcurdling scream was then heard from the woman in the painting, loud enough that I had to cover my ears.

"Mudbloods and filth in my house! Leave this place and never return, you mutants - you dirt - you -"

Sirius, while plugging his ears, staggered towards the painting. As did Remus. The both of them grabbed the curtains, and struggled to close them.

"Shut up, woman!" Sirius shouted, mustering up more than enough strength to pull the curtains the rest of the way.

I unplugged my ears, though they still rang now that the room was silent.

"Phew!" Sirius said, walking up next to me.

"And what lovely woman was that?" I asked.

"My mother," he replied grimly.

My eyes widened in realization. "Wait a darn minute! That means my grandparents can put my mom in a painting, right?"

"They could have," a voice came from behind me. "But that's a very expensive business. And she explicitly stated in her will that she did not wish to be placed in a portrait."

I slowly turned my head to see Professor Dumbledore standing behind me. He seemed to have a lot of frustration built up in him that I hadn't expected to see from the powerful wizard.

"Oh…" I said in disappointment. Then I looked to what was in his hand and groaned. An owl cage with Ebony, mom's barn owl… I guess she's now mine. "Did mom say that Ebony is mine in her will?"

"Yes," Professor Dumbledore said in slight amusement, taking a look at the angry owl ruffling her feathers. She hated cages. "I figured I should wait a while before I gave you her owl. Give you the time to mourn before you get one of your mother's possessions… considering how upset she's been the past few weeks, it may be best to let her out now."

Ebony hooted as though in complete agreement.

"After this crazy owl quits pecking people," I said, pointing to the white owl that was now in the middle of the table hooting angrily. "I don't want Ebony to join in as I'm sure she will do."

"Ah, is that Harry's owl?"

"Yes! She's mad for whatever reason!" Ron said.

"Must be Harry's doing," he said, picking up one of the letters. I peeked around his arm to read it:

I've just been attacked by Dementors and I might be expelled from Hogwarts. I want to know what's going on and when I'm going to get out of here.

There were three of these; each addressed to Sirius, Ron, and Hermione. Harry is not happy. Especially if he felt like he had to tell his owl… Hedwig, was it?... to peck the living hell out of these people just to get answers. Boy, am I glad none of this had to come to that for me… actually, wait, it's way worse being able to know what's going on… so much to hide...

Professor Dumbledore turned to the three of them, with short glances at me as he talked. "Don't tell him anything. We're figuring out how to transport him here from Privet Drive in a few days. The less he knows, the better."

"Not that we even know that much," Ron grumbled.

He looked to me, then. I gave a small nod. Is there any doubt that I know to stay quiet? Apparently.