I am so sorry that this wasn't up sooner. The end of last year was manic with being overseas, coming back and then going away again all within a month and I've really struggled with getting back into life and routine in the new year. Australia Day being in the middle of the week really knocked me too. You know, public holiday and then back to the real world and back to work a day after. Not fun. Especially not with sunburn and jet-ski bruises.
Thanks for all the well wishes over the holiday period, by the way. I hope you had safe, happy and relaxing breaks, too.
Chapter Ten: Deep Beneath The Surface
Two smiles, a table for two and a shared dessert; the combination should result in a perfect date.
Indeed, as Rikki and Zane wrap up their lunch date with a shared dessert platter, to any stranger or onlooker, the date could be perceived as perfect and desirable.
However, those same onlookers and strangers are unable to see the suppressed level of issues between the husband and wife...
They are unable to see the damage done by Zane's abandonment of Rikki almost a year ago.
They are unable to see the damage done by Rikki's subsequent unfaithfulness and the wrong she committed with another man.
They are unable to see the foetus Rikki is carrying...The foetus which has barely even been spoken about between the couple...The foetus whose father is still in question.
Despite the underlying, unresolved issues and the deep-seated damage between the two, the couple still have a love, a passion for one another which comes to the fore in the date which remains superficial and civil for nine-tenths of it, until a dangerous topic is mentioned and raised.
"So what time did you get in last night?" Rikki asks her husband. After hiding away following the pregnancy-announcement-induced explosion between the two, Rikki stayed in the room and eventually fell asleep. While she had anticipated the worst and expected Zane not to come home, she had been surprised when he crept in later that night. The two spoke briefly, before he came to bed too.
"I don't quite know. Just after one I think."
While Zane initially leaves it at that, he remembers what he saw just before he went to bed and some part of him is urged on by the perfect opportunity to bring it up.
"By the way, your phone went off not long after I got in. Who on earth would text you at that hour?" Zane asks, seemingly just with curiosity. While he is curious, he is curious at what his wife's answer will be, not necessarily the answer to his question. He wants to know whether or not she will tell him the harder truth or test his naivety and pull an easier, but untruthful, excuse.
"It was just an automated Telstra message..." Rikki cringes as she trails off, uncomfortably, not liking the need to lie to her husband, but liking the alternative of the truth even less so.
Zane just gives his wife one sharp, but powerful look. It tells her that she hasn't succeeded in pulling the wool over his eyes and that she hasn't succeeded in avoiding the truth. And, most of all, his look tells her that he is not happy about any of it.
"I thought you stopped talking to him when we started trying to work things out. That's the second message I've caught you out on now."
Rikki sighs guiltily. As hard as it had been lying to her husband minutes earlier, she now knows that telling the truth would have been much easier path than first having to lie then still having to tell the difficult truth.
"I know Zane. I'm sorry for lying to you, but for the most part, I have stopped talking to him. He just sends the odd messages to me like that which you saw for yourself when you snooped on my phone, might I add. I haven't really initiated any communication with him since you and I got serious about working things out."
Zane swallows his anger with great difficulty, knowing the damage that allowing it to flare has caused in the past. Instead, he expresses his anger and his disappointment in an entirely new way... By asking the hard questions which call for the even harder answers.
"You say that Rikki, but why should I believe what you say when you literally just lied to my face a minute ago?" Zane asks his wife, but not necessarily seeking an answer. He wants to just put the question to her and let her suffer on the question and to see his dilemma.
However, while he leaves that question mark hanging in Rikki's court, Zane doesn't stop there. Instead, a new attitude comes over Zane as he asks an even harder question, with a new aggression presenting itself within Zane and his question.
"What was he like?" Zane asks without waiting for an answer to his last question.
"Excuse me?"
Rikki looks at Zane with enlargened eyes, balking at the question which she thinks he is asking, but clinging onto the hope that she got it wrong.
"Kyle. What was he like? I just want to know the sort of man that attracts my wife. I want to know about you two, and what happened."
Previously, and up to this minute, the affair has been a subject and conversation which has been completely, one hundred percent steered clear from, mutually from both parties since Zane and Rikki made the decision to work on fixing their marriage.
Until this point, the affair has not been a topic of conversation which is barged straight into.
"I thought you forgave me Zane, but now I'm not so sure. Have you really come to terms with it cause generally when people forgive, they forget too. They don't want to know more about it instead" Rikki reasons desperately, deciding not to answer her husband's uncomfortable question directly.
Zane manages to calm himself enough for the two of them, reducing the aggression enough as Rikki's temper flares. It's enough to keep it at bay and to be able to continue with the conversation.
"Listen, I have forgiven you Rik, I said I have, but now I'm just curious. I'm curious about what you saw in him and how the affair happened."
Rikki squirms uncomfortably as she lets her body language do the taking to express her discomfort at her husband's question and at the current conversation.
"Um, I don't know if I really feel comfortable talking to you about that, Zane..."
Zane just shrugs bluntly, but nowhere near as bluntly as his words which follow the shrug.
"Well I'm not sure if I feel comfortable with another guy being with my wife, but hey, I didn't have much choice in the matter either, did I?!"
With a horrified gasp, Rikki's immediate upset and rage at her husband's insensitive remark sees her stand up from her seat opposite him where they'd been sharing a dessert. Instead, she gives him one nasty remark in response before she flees from her seat and from their date.
"Bastard. I knew you hadn't forgiven me. Screw you."
And just like that, Rikki, Zane and their marriage are all the way back at square one, all over again...
Returning home from her pear-shaped date is Rikki's first destination post-date with her husband. So, as she waltzes inside the argument is still understandably fresh and raw, something which her sister who is mid-way through doing some housework notices as soon as she walks into their share house.
"Rikki! Are you okay?" Tam questions as soon as she lays eyes on her sister, seeing her furrowed brow of distress and her sad eyes.
"Fine."
Tam's face scrunches up at her sister's short, sharp and shiny answer, struggling to calculate the facts. She knows that Rikki and Zane headed out for a date earlier that day and she knows that dates are supposed to be a positive experience. However, she also sees the look of upset on her sister's face and the fact that her brother-in-law is nowhere in sight.
"Are you sure, Rikki? Did something happen with Zane?"
"Nothing I shouldn't have expected. I married a jerk after all."
Again, Tam's face scrunches up even more. The last time she checked, Zane and Rikki had been somewhat on-side with one another as they strive to work on mending their marriage, but from what her sister is saying now, it sounds like quite a different story.
"Okay... I thought that you guys were trying to work on your marriage and all that."
"So did I" Rikki muses with an honest sigh. "But then again, I thought Zane was over everything that happened too... I just don't know much about anything right now."
Tam nods at her sister's surprisingly honest confession as she puts the vacuum cleaner down and strolls over to envelope her sister in a hug.
"Hang in there. It'll get easier, yeah?"
The two sister's just stand in silence until Rikki retracts from the embrace before her sister fires another question to her.
"So what about the baby? Where's your head at with that?"
Another long and deep sigh escapes Rikki's lips at the mention of the cherry atop her pile of other problems.
"Honestly, an unplanned pregnancy is literally the last thing I need. It's the last thing any of us need; me, Zane and Kyle... Honestly, I haven't made my mind up, but I really don't want to go through with it."
Despite her comfort and her reassurance that she had provided her sister, Tam hardens at her sister's most recent confession.
"Really? You're thinking to take the easy way out? You of all people?"
"What do you mean?" Rikki questions, more than a little set back by her younger sisters seemingly strong viewpoint on the controversial issue.
Tam's body language changes a little as she becomes a little stronger and more sure version of herself.
"I mean it's just not really like you to take the easy way. I really think you'd be making a mistake if you got rid of it. You think it's just like a little undo button on your problems, but really I'm sure that it'll just bring you a whole new set of problems."
Rikki crosses her arms as a defence against the fact her sister had caught her off guard with her unexpected reaction.
"Well thank you for your unwanted opinion. I appreciate if you want to be an aunt, but it's my baby and my decision."
"I'm sorry... But just promise me you'll really, seriously think everything through before you make a set decision, okay?"
The concern on Tam's face is evident and clear as she communicates the importance of her point to her sister effectively, although Rikki is still a little puzzled as to what part of the puzzle is missing.
"Okay... I promise you that much."
Later that day, Zane finally makes his way home, anxious as to what the state of his hot-headed wife will be upon his arrival into the share house.
"Hi..." Zane mutters feebly as he walks through the archway into the lounge room where Rikki is sitting watching a TV program.
Zane's greeting goes unresponded to coldly, so Zane speaks up once again before discussing what went wrong on the date.
"So... Are you home alone? Where are Will and Tam?"
"Will's at Bella's and Tam went to the shops."
Zane nods in acknowledgment of his wife's answer which means that the two are free to talk about the tough issues and answer the tough questions without interruptions from their housemates.
For the sake of privacy and remaining uninterrupted if either Tam or Will return home, Zane and Rikki decide to relocate to their bedroom to have the difficult discussion.
"So... Our date didn't go as well as it could have..."
"No, really, Sherlock?" Rikki retorts sarcastically at her husbands remark.
Zane sighs and runs his hands through his hair as a sign of frustration.
"Rikki. Can you please just drop the attitude? There's no way that the two of us can manage a reasonable discussion if we begin it in a snarky attitude."
While Rikki doesn't say or do anything in agreement of Zane's plea, she does silently agree with the point he is trying to convey, knowing that the two of them have no chance if they don't at least try and maintain a civil attitude.
"So are you ready to apologise?" Rikki questions, propositioning her husband with a dangerous question. A question that essentially rejects her knowledge that they should try and be peaceable.
"Rikki..." Zane warns. "I'm trying here, okay. I am really trying. I don't think I have ever tried so much with anyone or anything as I am with you. It goes against everything I stand for, I'm used to the mentality of replacing things rather than fixing them."
She just sighs and rolls her eyes. Rikki knows she shouldn't expect anything less than the typical rich-kid mentality that her husband has just confessed to. However, she finds his declaration that he has been trying hard quite debatable.
"Can you not roll your eyes Rikki, please. I know that I am so freaking far from perfect, but I am trying which is more I can say for you right now."
Just as Rikki's mouth flies open, ready to debate her husband, Zane stops her by continuing to speak.
"Sorry, that was harsh. But listen, my point is that if we're gonna have a kid together then shouldn't we be trying even harder to make it right? Well that's if it's mine."
Rikki is a little startled and setback. Her pregnancy is a topic which is avoided like the plague. Yet, here is her husband preparing to face the issue head-on.
However, in Rikki's pause, Zane continues to talk, where the conversation takes a turn for the worst.
"So, who is the father?"
Rikki sighs and crosses her arms in front of herself, attempting to amp up the confidence in her body language as her self-confidence diminishes with her husband's hard questions.
"You know that I don't know... Besides, that's if there's even going to be a father."
His wife's latest comment stops Zane dead in his tracks.
"What does that mean?"
Just as she sighs, Rikki begins to pace around the room a little. Both she and Zane well know what is being alluded to.
"Rikki... Tell me you don't mean what I think that means."
"I don't know Zane... I don't know anything! I don't know who this kid's father is and I don't know what is going to happen to it."
Zane looks at his wife, a little stunned. After the last few months that they've had, you would think that he is used to the shocks and surprises that life has to offer, but no, life is still getting kicks out of throwing shocks his way.
"Seriously? Don't get me wrong, I don't know if I want a kid now, or even ever, but I think you should at least talk about and seriously think through the options."
"Well really, it's my baby and my decision."
Rikki's statement is partnered with strong body language, crossed arms and a solid stance as she reiterates her rights.
"Okay. Well what about your lover boy? Are you even going to let him know about the baby at all?! I just don't think you should be making this decision on your own, Rik."
Rikki exhales a deep sigh, thinking of all the things she wants to say to her husband that she knows will only make things worse. So, instead, she throws her hands up in the air in defeat as she begins to flee the room.
"Just leave it alone. I can't talk to you about this..." Rikki says with a sigh of frustration as she walks off and out of the room.
Thinking that she has finally left the tough things alone, Rikki walks downstairs into the lounge room. As she hears movement, she realises that she hadn't heard neither Tam or Will return home.
"Hey Tam... What's wrong? Are you okay?" Rikki instantly asks upon the sight of her sister balled up on the lounge, crying over a small photograph she holds in the palm of her hand.
Just as her sister had comforted her earlier, Rikki returns the favour as she offers comfort and warmth to her visibly upset younger sister. However, just as she wraps Tam in a hug, she notices the picture she is holding, treasuring, within her palm.
A baby photo.
"What's that photo? Who is that?" Rikki questions curiously, completely puzzled by her sisters seemingly random upset and her random photo.
As tears spill from her eyes, Tam looks up at her older sister, her source of comfort, as she contemplates revealing her deepest secret that she's held onto for far too long.
Finally, overcome with a surge of confidence and a deep breath, four words slip through Tam's lips.
"It's my son, Rikki."
Boom. There it is. I hope that one was a bit of a plot twist for you guys. A couple people thought that Tam might be pregnant, but I don't think that anyone guessed she has/had a child. The many, many unanswered questions about Tam's son will be revealed in chapter 12. Until then, I'd LOVE to hear your theories and speculation of where he is, who he is, is he even alive? Not to mention, who was her baby daddy? We're going to see a very different side to Tam...
Next chapter: After a chat with Bella, Cleo bumps into a familiar face. Plus, with Lewis away, Cleo struggles with suppressing her feelings.
I'll post again at around 150 reviews. See if we can get it there - yew!